Parody of the Rings: Fellowship of the...Ah who the hell are we kidding?

After washing Pippin in a nearby stream and taking a two hour walk, they came atlast to Bree. They approached the gate and knocked on it. The gate-keeper opened a high door and then seeing no one opened a middle window and then atlast a low one.
Gate-keeper: What do you want?
Frodo: We're going to the Inn.
Gate-Keeper: The Holiday Inn?
Sam: No.
Gate-keeper: The Comfort Inn?
Merry: No.
Gate-keeper: The Sleep Inn?
Frodo: NO! We're going to the prancing Pony.
Gate-keeper: Oh...Okay. But the Motel 6 is better.
Sam: We're sure it is.
They now walk along thhe dark muddy streets of Bree. Along the way they see the director reeling drunkenly and eating a large carrot.
Sam: Pete?
Frodo: That can't be good.
They come atlast to the Prancing Pony. They wait paciently for the Inn-Keeper to come to the counter, but he doesn't appear to have seen them. Sam sees there is a bell to ring on the counter. He stands on his toes and rings it. The Inn-Keeper magically appears.
Butterbur: You rang, little masters? I am Barliman Butterbur, the Inn-Keeper. What can I do ya for?
Frodo: We have come to meet with Gandalf the Grey, can you tell him we've arrived?
Butterbur: Gandalf? Ahh yes...Old, bitchy dude, right? Haven't seen him in six months.
Pippin: Really?
Butterbur: Really, really.
Sam: What are we gonna do now?
Frodo: Panic sounds good.
Butterbur has now taken the hobbits to a table in the next room. As they sit there and munch on bread and cheese, Frodo notices a man in the corner is string at him. He stops Butterbur who is passing by.
Frodo: Who's that man in the corner?
Butterbur: He's one strange dude, dude. He wanders around in the wils as one of those ranges. I don't know his real name, but most call him Strider. Or was it Gimpy?
Suddenly everyone there is yelling at Frodo to sing a song.
Frodo: Okay. This is about the girl I left behind

Regrets I've had a few
first and formost, I'd like to mention you
For the sake of conversation, I'll call you the brand new heavy
You're a cross between an Ugnaught, and Eugene Levy
You prefer to call it big boned
I prefer to call it butch
You're Buddah
You're Shammu
You're Jabba the frickin hutt
At this junction, I gotta lement
You were not a girl...
You were an experament
But you're pretty when I'm drunk
You're pretty when I'm drunk
You're pretty when I'm drunk
And I'm pretty freakin drunk!!

The crowd cheers. Frodo is dancing around an a table top and loses his balance. He falls and the ring gets pushed on his finger. He is now in the dark world and a giant eye approaches.
Eye: Hello, I am the eye of souron. The soul of Souron is not available at this time. Please leave your name and local after the beep and he will get to killing you as soon as possible.
BEEP!!
Frodo: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Eye: Thank you for your message.
Frodo rips the ring from his finger. He is then grabbed and hauled away by a mysterious hand.

Thank you so very much for the support and the lovely reveiw Entmoot. Thank you also to "The Blood Hound Gang" for the song lyrics. I obviously didn't write them and I do not profit fro them. Thank you all, and please help me keep this story coming with more encouragement.
Luv,
Ur Samwise