You sleep in peace

This night sleep eludes me and I haunt the halls like a ghost an old castle. Many concerns plague me at day, and the nightly hours that a given to us mortals to gather new strength give me no respite. I envy those who sleep so peacefully in their beds, oblivious to the passing of time while they wander in a world of dreams.

I gave my feet leave to carry me wherever they liked and was surprised when I ended up before a door made of black Lebethron. I know this door well, for it is so near my own place of rest and I have already passed it many times. My hand traces the carvings on the wood and finally reaches for the handle. Will I disturb his sleep? Some part of me wishes for someone to wake with me, but I know that he deserves his rest as much as I do. I wish to see him, to assure myself that he is well and comfortable. He is my little precious, a star fallen from the heavens into my life.

I push the handle and the door opens noiselessly, revealing an almost dark room for the fire has dwindled to glowing embers. I can make out your face, so calm in your sleep and my heart swells with love. You shall grow up in peace, for I made it so. I am loath to imagine a sword in your hand, but who knows the future? You are so small, your tiny hands are curled into fists but your silver eyes are hidden. Your toothless mouth is slightly open, which reminds me that I have to think of something for you to bite on when you start teething. Faramir tells me that it will begin soon, and he speaks out of experience.

It is a miracle to see you grow, my son. At the beginning, you were invisible to my eyes, first you were a sweet secret, then spoken of aloud, causing strangers to embrace. Then you began to move in your mother’s womb and we laughed in pleasure, spending many hours with sweet caresses. When you finally arrived, the people danced, and sang and cried in the streets. And I cried as well, you know. When you were but half a dozen weeks old, you gave me your first smile. How I love your bright smile, so sincere and innocent. You could do so little, but my heart melted every time I heard you chortle or saw you move a bit more.

Have I ever been so small, I wonder. So little and yet a human. Delicate fingers grasp instinctively at my nightshirt and your soft breath caresses my skin. You have already grown much in the months you have been here with us. You are heavier as well, though still a light burden for me.
Now you will grow, ever grow. You will move around, walk, eat properly, talk... and be rid of your nappies. I do not envy the poor souls charged to change you.
I lift you up carefully so you do not wake and settle back in the chair, making myself comfortable. In time you will learn to talk and most certainly gainsay me. I will teach you everything I know and one day you will be king after me.

But all those things are in the future, for now you are small and dependant on others. You should have seen the reactions of the nobles when your mother decided to nurse you herself! I was glad about her decision, for you deserve nothing less than that, queenly or not.
You are absolutely perfect, my little one, as a baby should be. I caress your little head that rests against my chest. Your body is warm between your blanket and my body, you seem comfortable where you are, slumbering so sweetly. Suddenly a wave of protectiveness and love washes over me and I do not want to let go, I want to hold you and make sure that you are save.
You give me the peace I have been yearning for and I know that I am beginning to drift towards sleep.