Lost Password?

Create New Account

Dis's Dilemma

Chapter 1: Dis's Dilemma

by ZeeDrippyVessel

Dís's Dilemma
A Thorin and Family short

“It's got to come down!”

Dís stood in the doorway of her sons' shared sleeping area, arms crossed over her formidable chest. “I know they are teens, I know this sort of thing is normal, but that-” she stabbed a short finger at the wall, “must come down!” She put her hand up to her sons' outraged and in Kili's case, mulish expression.

The cause of the uproar in Thorin's home was a pinup of a dwarrow, proudly hung between the beds of Fili and Kili. It was a reproduction and the original artist was rather talented.

Not normal for a dwarf, but nevertheless...

“Take it down!” Dís pointed again to the large drawing. “Now! I don't care who!”

“Why?” Fili's snarl now matched his brother's. “She's clothed...” he looked at the artwork lovingly, “-sort of.”

Indeed, the model was clothed, albeit barely. A swatch of dark navy silk around her breasts, flowing skirts slashed to her waist, showing off glorious thick thighs, covered with downy hair...

“I'll send for Dwalin!” Thorin's sister was completely infuriated. “Maybe he'll talk some sense into these two!”

“No need for that.” Finally, Thorin spoke. He was leaning against the entryway with his arms crossed. His visage was stoic, but an amused light shown in his eyes. He knew why Dís was furious and it had nothing to do with the fact that her sons put up a poster of a barely clad dwarrow. “She has a nice array of... jewelry.” He leaned over towards his sister. “I wonder where she got it, who her father was in order to outfit her in such?” He smiled to himself. “I'll bet she was such an ufdi!”

Dís bowed up and glared at her brother. “You are incorrigible and utterly useless!” She turned with a huff and headed towards the entryway of the residence. Thorin could hear her yelling for his friend as she went through the door, scattering passersby and various lightning bugs. Her voice continued to echo as she distanced herself from her family.

Finally, there was silence. “Thorin,” Fili's voice was soft. “Please don't make us-”

“Oh, I have no intention of making you remove it.”

Kili's eyes were focused lovingly on the poster. “She's beautiful. I wonder who she was.”

“That would be the million white gem question, wouldn't it?” Thorin heard noise in the entrance and listened to his friend stomp up the hallway. Dwalin laid eyes on the pin up. “By my beard! Where did you get this from?”

“Kili?” The question was automatic as Dís's youngest was normally the one to get into trouble.

“Not me. Fili.”

“Fili,” Dwalin's voice was low. “How did you come by the artwork?”

“My friend, Angantýr. He found it in an old trunk, he, his brother, and I were digging through, searching for some string for fishing. Some lures.”

“Angantýr, son of Saemund?”


Dwalin leaned close to Thorin. “I thought Saemund destroyed that thing?” he whispered.

“I thought he did, as well.” Thorin lifted up his chin. “Fili, was this the only one in the trunk?”

Fili shook his head. “There were several.” He glared at his uncle. “You're not going to make us take it down, are you?”

“No.” The dwarf shook his head. “Your mother won't be happy, but I won't make you take it down.”

“I could look at her forever.” Kili was standing in front of the large picture. “She's got nice legs.”

Fili nodded in agreement.

Dwalin muttered under his breath, but still audible. “I guess now would be a bad time to tell them it's their mother.”

“WHAT?” Both boys turned to their uncle and his friend. Quickly, Fili returned to the artwork, getting as close as he could. “No!” he shuddered. He turned away in disgust. “That's just nasty!”

“This can't be mom!” Kili spat! He flung a finger towards the drawing. “I love mom, but she's beautiful!”

“Are you saying moms aren't beautiful?” No one noticed that Dís had returned and was listening to the exchange. “How do you think we became moms?”

All four males turned red.

Dwalin seemed to be the first to recover. He stepped forward, gently tugging on the picture. “I'll take this down and take care of it.”

Thorin signed. His friend had a soft spot for his sister for many years, and he suspected he knew where that picture was going and it wasn't the rubbish bin! He turned around, his back to his nephews and friend. “I'll have a chat with Saemund.”

And beat the marble out of him!

He bent down and whispered in his sister's ear. “I told you posing for that would come back to bite you in the arse!”

Before he could take another step, there was a tug at his sleeve. “I know for a fact Gin posed for one as well!”

Thorin smiled. He knew this well. It hung over his bed until they married. “Then I suppose I should make sure Saemund doesn't have any extras laying around!”

Dís turned and stormed down the hallway, towards her personal rooms. “Yeah, you do that!”

Start and fini 07/07/21

Ufdi – a vain dwarf