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Pitfalls of the Palantir

Chapter 1: The Palantir and the Walrus

by Haleth

There is no intention to make a monetary profit from this piece of irrelevent fluff.

A shameless ripoff of the Professor's genius and several other sources.
Extra points to anyone who can identify the second major source of inspiration for this bit of silliness.

With many thanks to my beta reader, Lelin, for her invaluable help and patience. Thanks also to Mora and Ari for beta reading.

ElenaTiriel, thank-you for pointing out the canonical error with Thorin III Stonehelm, King Under Mountain.

Daeuial, thank-you for pointing out the references to King Estel, which should be King Elessar. I've changed the incidents that I could find. If anyone finds one I've missed, please let me know.

Thank-you to everyone who left glowing reviews. It was encouraging to know that people were reading and enjoying the story.

And last but not least, thanks to my partner who gave me many of the comic ideas that appear in this tale. His timing is impecable. He'd usually come up with them at midnight. Two hours later, he'd be snoring and I'd still be giggling.

Odob the walrus patrolled the sea bottom of the Bay of Forochel. The oldest and largest of the walruses that inhabited the bay, Odob's normally bad temper was currently augmented by extreme hunger. There were simply not enough clams in the icy waters to feed the entire walrus population. The shortage forced Odob to look further afield for his sustenance.

He was currently in a very deep part of the bay where even the walrus would usually hesitate to go. He skimmed through the meagre plants and worms that grew along the silty bottom, searching for the evermore elusive clams.

Something flashed to one side of him. Hoping that the glow meant food, Odob glided towards it. The faint light shimmered fitfully, drawing the walrus into an area that had once held a ship. The vessel had been lost beneath the waves of a storm over a millenium ago. It was now barely remembered in the myths of the Lossoth, the ice people of the Bay of Forochel. The mighty timbers had long since dissolved in the icy brine, leaving only the occassional stub of a nail above the silt. Of the unhappy crew, passengers and cargo, nothing visible seemed to remain.

Odob swam onwards, oblivious to the history of his surroundings, the light beckoning him onwards.

At last he was directly above the luminescence. Obod could not believe his luck. Half buried in the silt was the largest clam he had ever clapped his beady little walrus eyes upon.

He approached it greedily and shoved it with his tusk.

It was also the most solid clam he had ever come across.

Odob pushed the glowing clam with his flipper.

Add heaviest to that list.

Again he tried to pry it open with his tusks.

It was by far the strongest clam he had ever encountered.

With such an impressive list of superlatives, this was not a clam to be left behind.

Odob pushed, pulled, rolled and body slammed the recalcitrant mollusk across the floor of the bay. He finally walrus-handled it into the shallow water near the shore in the vague walrus hope that exposure to the sun and air would weaken it enough to be opened and eaten.

Gulls circled overhead, intent upon theft.

The cries of the gulls were interrupted by the shouts and cries of the Lossoth who had made their winter camp on the edge of the bay.

Odob, for all that he was the fiercest walrus in the bay, would not risk a confrontation with the Ice Men's spears. Roaring in frustration, he paddled into the deeper water and abandoned his prize to the rapidly advancing men.


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Chapter name
The Palantir and the Walrus
28 Mar 2004
Last Edited
28 Mar 2004