[ghettoelleth]

Good evening Lillies and Gemenen, welcome to Little Baby Dobertina Watch, 2003, 2004, & 2005. Today's failure to meet critical dilation was greeted with oohs and ahhs by all those far away enough to be out of range of the flying shoes being hurled by afore not yet mentioned (I'm getting to it, unclench), marvel of gestational endurance, Dolarabee Sue Cervix o' Steal, bonny lass.

The answer to today's animal of choice from the advent calendar of satan is the "T-Rex". Yes folks, its time for the question unanswerable, "Just how long is the gestational period of the Dolalabee, genus Humanus really pissed offus, species, French...ish?" and the answer is. "Longer than a Tyrantus...Tearanussoreus...Tryandspanus...T Rex.

Well folks, it appears that our heroine has spent another day, exactly as she has spent the past 4,380 days before this one, not dilating. When asked for comment regarding her stoic cervix, Ms.D simply replied, "Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh." We then tried to reach Mr Shrek Cervix o' Steel, Australia's favorite jock in a frock, unfortunately, the pub door was wedged shut with a barstool and obstetritions armed with all manner of cold and confusing stuff of steel and more steel had the perimeter surrounded.

But enough of that crap. This is, afterall, as all things in life should be, about me. Do...*sniff*...you have wounded me, (a single tear, bright still with the light of Varda, trail's a glyricine river along my downy soft cheek, you have cut me to the quick, sister. Long have I suffered and far have I come down this treacherous path to the place that the hobbits call Duedate. Yet not once have you uttered a single, "awwww, that's sweet, Al," to me. Yes, the traiterous Shmoo of Alassante hath indeed buried the blade of one-up-man-ship deep. And yet, still there may be hope for me to redeem myself in the eyes of Shecky, Valar of Chuckles and Heike Cerbocroatia, She who dwells in the Hall of Hecklers. There is she doomed, night after night to tell the same halfhour long set of "You're so Ugly" jokes even until the End of Days.

Yes! By jupiter, this is how I shall rewin my place in the ubiquitous puddle before thy well appointed throne that reclines without hitting the wall. I, Ghettoelleth of Suckass, shall attempt a greater thing than I have ever attempted before. I shall tell a joke, so perfect and pure that it will set your uterus to contracting, and yay, not only contract, but contract like the wind, like the wind I say!! Then shall I be, not just Ghetto but Queen...And all shall stop accusing me of being the one who tagged their locker! And the DooBeeDoo will laugh, ha ha, and all around her will be sore afraid and trembling, save the brave and well nigh pissed to the gills, Sir Shrek of, Pitocinproduction. He of the chapped lips and several interestingly patterned bald patches on his chest hair, shall stand firm and liquoured up unto numbness, fey and ... fully clad in protective clothing of a baseball umpire. Mitt at the ready. For we shall commence to make a great laughter, causing that which resides in the depths of the secret, farthest, darkest, nether, regions of Do's Keep, to rise up, now being 12 years ole, and take the true and good path toward the light. Even so ickle creature of darkness, bring it on!
Disclaimer: We strongly urge anyone in the vicinity of Queen Dolala to keep all arms, legs, and especially heads, out of the path of trajectory as this girl may come shooting out like a little pumpkin seed and we wouldn't want anyone to lose an eye.

Remember, this is just warm up...

You might be Ghetto:

If you, your mother, and your grandmother all have the same surname...you might be ghetto

If you and your mother have ever been prenant at the same time...you might be ghetto

If you've ever been driven to the hospital in an ambalamps

Got beaten by your mother with a stitchen card

If you make spaghetti with hot dogs in it and think red is a flavor of Kool-Aid You might be ghetto

[Alassante]

Sorry folks! I take full responsibility for Miss Insanity 2005. What started out as a simple experiment in - "Can ADHD be transmitted over the internet?" - has just gone amok. Apparently I caused her to be open to receive transmissions from outer space. She is now being a test subject for "How much p0rn will it take to drive a ghetto chick insane?" Apparently she is pretty tolerant to the p0rn ( big shocker I know) so they have tried to run other tests such as "How to scare a pregnant woman into labor in 5000 words or less." and "How to prevent people from ever drinking while reading a forum posting." So far we know they have successfully managed to prevent people from drinking while reading a forum posting by Ghetto. If Do has the baby due to the forum thread then the aliens will know that our world cannot be conquered through internet waves and Ghetto will have saved the planet from a cruel invasion of aliens.

So Do - have the baby and save the world. Even if Ghetto gets all of the credit for it.

[ghettoelleth]

Not scaring, this is encouraging. Can't you see the encouraging smile on face?

And now, a cheer from alma mater, MLKJR Continuation Campus - School motto, You just couldn't keep your knees together, could you? School song, Havin' my Baby



Bang Bang Choo Choo Train, let me see you birff that thang.

If your family pets suddenly start disappearing from the yard around the holidays, you might be ghetto. Add ten points if your family pet was a goat.

[Scribe]

Lil Byte arrived early in the wee hours of November the Fourth, a healthy baby girl!!!!

Both Mum and Programmer Guy are doing very well..


NOW LET"S BREAK OUT THE GODDAMN CHAMPAGNE!!!!!!!!!!!

[Neniel]

*gasp*

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
(or at least I hope that is the proper wish for such occasions in english...)

I'm sitting in the PC lab grinning like an idiot! The Nazgûl librarian is glaring like Sauron is about to return to Arda and yet I can't seem to stop it! Congratulations to both lucky parents, and I suspect especially one relieved mother ), but let's not forget what we're here for... Let the champagne flow!



PS: You do realize of course that this probably means Ghetto's plan worked... Scaaaaary....

[RobinKa]

My best wishes!

[mistressofbucklebury]

Best Wishes to Do, Robbie and Lil Byte!!

[Rhapsody]

Well I guess Ghetto's words had their effect on the little byte!

Congrats Robbie and Do!



Now I am trying to remember if I told Mistress G my due date...

[NeumeIndil]

YAAAAY!

Congratulations Do and Robbie! Glad all are well and safe.


(P.S. When does she get a little brother? JK! No! Don't hurt me! )

[Robbie]

[Maram68]

[Alassante]

YAY!!!!!!!!!

I am so happy for you three! Tell Do that we are all partying it up for her! I hope the delivery went as painlessly as possible and I'm glad to see you lived through it as well Robbie.

[Yavanie]

Congrats all around! Yay! Do can breathe again!! and Robie - go take a nap, man, while you still can!!!

Glad to hear all are safe and well. Hope the recovery (for all) is swift and sure!

(plus all the ones Binka posted too)

[SpaceWeavil]

Congratulations, Do and Robbie!

[melissaofaharon]

Congrats Do and Robbie!!! Hope Lil Byte is doing great!


Melly