[Mitasova]

I was perusing my old bookmarks the other night, and was shocked to discover how many fics that I used to like now leave me cold or just plain annoy. It's the little things - misusing of words or messing up of the facts, that I find myself less and less tolerant about. Am I turning into a purist? I'd hate to, because they are, mostly, extremely boring and snotty breed. So, I compiled this list of things (not full and in no particular order) that irritate me in LotR fanfiction. I didn't bother with a huge ones, such as Elrond's numerous daughters or weird superpowers that Tolkien neclected to mention - those annoy pretty much everyone - and concentrated on more subtle ones. So, that's what I came up with:

- Elvish or Numenorian names are not glibberish. There cannot be an Elf named Brianna, Adriana, Zee or some such rot.

- Elves are not sexists. Elven women are not meek domesticated damsels - they are free to make whatever they wish with their lives, just as men are. Arwen's quiet demeanor seems to be her personality trait rather then deferrence to externally imposed limitations.

- Elves don't practice slavery. Neither do "good" Men.

- Aragorn in LotR is 88, Boromir is 40, Legolas is 500-something. When they make googly eyes at the teenage protagonist, it's icky. They're not paedophiles.

- Broadswords and longswords are heavy. It takes sheer brawn and a lot of training to wield those one-handed on a regular basis. So does drawing a longbow.

- The plural of Nazgul is Nazgul.

- When one feels sick s/he is nauseated. When one makes those around him/her sick, s/he is nauseous.

- Legolas's father is a king, which makes Legolas a prince. Arwen's father is not a king but Lord of Rivendell, hence Arwen's not a princess, but Lady. Celeborn and Galadriel are not King and Queen either, they are Lord and Lady of Lothlorien.

- Boromir is not evil. Nor he is a misogynistic asshat. He did't rape anyone. If I see one of those in a fic one more time, I promise, I'll come to the author with a flamethrower.

- Denethor is not evil, tyrannic shemer. He didn't push his wife to suicide, he didn't plot to take the Ring from the get-go. Oh, and he didn't rape anyone, especially either of his sons. If I see one of those in a fic, I'll came to the author with a hand grenade.

- Faramir is not a poor abused puppy. I may not like the guy very much, but he's not a sissy.

- If a writer highlights every other word in her fic (whether by astericks, italic, capitalisation or whatnot) it means:

a) she doesn't have any other means to convey which part of the sentence is important, or

b) she thinks I'm a moron who needs the meaning to be shown to me and, preferably, illustrated.

Either way, i'm not too keen on reading a fic written by such a genius.

- Elves don't arrange marriages.

- Elves cannot be raped. If they are, they go to Mandos during the act or immediately after.

- Middle-Earth is not a world. It's the central continent of the world named Arda.

- Denethor had a perfectly legal pretext to reject Aragorn's claim to the throne.

That's all for now. Tell me - am I a purist? What are your pet peeves? Talk to me, folks!
==

Tanya

[SilverMoonLady]

Being a sensible well-informed reader doesn't make anyone a purist, so you're safe The truth is that we were given a gorgeous, well laid out sandbox to play in, with a wonderfully permissive and intelligent set of rules; that some people can't seem to manage working in there is a little sad. Then, again, imagination can't always be contained...

You happen to have mentioned most of my pet peeves, though I will add my top two to your list:

-hobbits, while small in stature, are actually whole and growing persons, ie they mature, marry, love and die, and argue and everything the rest of us mortals do.

-Frodo is not a whiny, weak-willed teenager... He's 50 (though well-preserved ), well-cultured and strong of mind and heart.

Yeah, I'm hobbit-centric, but not necessarily a purist either:) Nothing wrong with discriminating taste my dear

[queenoftheshire]

Nope, it safe to say you aren't a purist ^.^
I get irritated at every single thing you mentioned, unless of course I'm a purist...Hopefully that isn't the case.

Like you've stated, Arwen is NOT a princess. I hate fics/roleplays with this type of characterization, along with Arwen's sister who looks almost EXACTLY like her It's surprising how many times you can come across that.

I'd say female warriors also annoy me. To have all these Eowyn look-alikes running around is just absurd.

I'm all for OCs but when immediate relatives of major characters start popping up, it irks me. (Legolas's Long Lost Sister etc)

[Gwenevere]

The first item on your list, Mitasova, bothers me A LOT. It irks me to no end...

[phoenixqueen]

Hey, I would definitely tend to agree with you on those, and you're not a purist...(well, maybe to a small extent, but certainly not a full blown purist, because if you were, I'd be one too, and that's a scary thought!)

My friend Sammy and I've noticed some other things that I truly hate about LotR fics.

-My biggest one is slash and mpreg fics (how wrong can you get? The idea makes me shudder, and I've seen WAY too many since I started reading and writing).

-Mary Sues. (OMG these are the most annoying things ever invented!)

-Another thing: why does (almost) everyone insist that Thranduil is cruel to Legolas? Where does it EVER say that in the books? Yes, it says he loves his treasure, but I don't recall it saying that he is an abusive father!

-Language also bothers me. I don't think that Gondorians and Elves would use the swear words that we are all so familiar with. So where are they learning modern terms that we all know?

-Boromir might not be a rapist and all that, but neither are Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, or any of the other characters! (I've seen lots of that too!)

-Oh yes, and have any of you noticed how often the twins are ignored? They were deliberately written into the books, so you'd think people writing fics would at least acknowledge their existance! (Also, the other rangers that ride to the Pelennor Fields)

-My friend Sammy (a.k.a psychoelf) pointed out another disturbing tendancy. She's seen several stories (and this is truly disgusting) where the characters cut and drink each others' blood. In her words: 'they aren't F***in vampires!'

-Sammy also pointed out another disturbibng trend. Boromir/Faramir or Elladan/Elrohir incest stories. *shudders at the thought*

-I personally haven't seen this, but Sammy has: Stories where Faramir is Aragorn's son. *blinks in confusion* How is that even possible people? Can someone explain that to me?

-Oh, and of course the requisist stories where Aragorn is having affairs and flings all across Middle-Earth! People, he is bound to Arwen! If you don't like her, at least give Aragorn some credit for being honorable!

That's all we can think of for the moment, although I'm sure there are more out there that don't come to mind for now.

I want to hear more peeves...this is interesting to compare things that annoy us.

Namarie, for now!
phoenixqueen

[Anna]

Yes, the name thing bothers me too. Imagine an elf named Vanity, Beauty or Moonbeam (I´ve seen them all!). Also, the homemade elvish names that are a mile long and completely impossible to pronounce, let alone remember!
Is it just me or does it irk anyone else when Haldir is called Hal? I keep thinking of a truckdriver when I see that.

And what is it with the tendency of making Thranduil a mean, cruel, abusive, tyrannical person who hates mankind? AND who´s raping Legolas on a daily basis!!
Speaking of Legolas; why do so many persist in turning him into a submissive and whiny little wimp?

I do not mind slash, to be honest. It is all about what mood I´m in. BUT, I do mind mpreg! I mean; WHY?!

I actually can stand most things, as long as the fics are well written. However, I have yet to encounter an author skilled enough to make me accept the above mentioned things!

[Mitasova]

[Hathor]

It's fun being a semi-purist!

Pet Peeve Of The Moment: Grelvish. I hate, despise and abhor made-up Elvish of any tongue. I hate it when people just call it Elvish - good lord, there are DIFFERENT types of Elvish! - and make it up as they go along. I don't use very much Sindarin/Quenya/Any Other Elvish Tongue as I am perfectly aware that I would mangle it. GYAH!

Other Pet Peeve Of The Moment: Gimli and the lack thereof. Gimli is important, I tell you. I realise he's not as pretty, but deal. Write him too.

Third Pet Peeve: Look. The movies are good. I know that. You know that. I have no objection to writing movieverse fic, which I do and I do often. BUT if you are going to write movie-verse about something but not research it, what's the point? I've seen stories where it's movie-verse, fair enough, but they write about Aragorn and Arwen's relationship without checking that there are any details available.

All my other peeves seem to have been listed. So I will go and read good fic for a while and remember that a lot of fanfic is good too...

[queenoftheshire]

[SilverMoonLady]

[Hathor]

I like writing slash. I do write slash and I do so fairly often in a range of fandoms.

I do, however, try and keep them strictly in character and I certainly don't just write it for the hell of it. They have to have a certain spark for me to want to start writing it. Writing slash in for the sheer hell of it seems... silly to me. Where's the fun if there's no anticipation?

[SilverMoonLady]

Excellent point:) I'm not actually against slash per se, but there's some pretty awful/nonsensical stuff out there... *scratches her head* Hmmm.... I may well be a purist after all
Well, I dunno. Most of the time, there just doesn't seem to be right kind of backstory/background to justify something so against canon. And with Tolkien being a devout catholic, you have to wonder what he'd think of these pairings, when he most certainly didn't intend them.
Oh, and I am about as far on the end of the spectrum from a devout catholic as can be imagined:) same-sex pairings are definately not problematic in my mind or my spirituality.

[Mitasova]

[Hathor]

[SilverMoonLady]