[queenoftheshire]

Thought it would be a nice idea to start a thread for funny quotes people track down. They don't need to be LOTR related...just funny in some way, shape or form.

I think I'll start with favorite pair of people... -cringes as she hears groans from the majority of the OSA Forum members-

Whoo...well...here I go!

Dom: "Went home and tried to make a cake, but the oven broke so I ate raw cake mix, watched TV, felt sick, and went to Billy's."

This is my absolute favorite quote just because I now have images of Viggo hobbling around in hobo clothes with a wooden leg imprinted in my brain!

Dom: [joking about Viggo] "I would say probably 95% of the work that you see as Viggo onscreen is completely computer generated, because he has a wooden leg and he can't run. So they had to do all that CG. And also he can't act. There's all this stuff going on about how good he was in that film, but they had to morph a lot of the face movements from Billy and myself, because we were able to reach those levels of acting that Viggo just couldn't reach. I mean, he can barely talk English, you know? He's pretty dumb..."

Dom: "Viggo left a long message on my machine. He leaves these kind of stream-of-consciousness messages on your machine, like, 'Yeah, this is Viggo, I'm eating chicken, I'm wearing blue trousers, the sun is shining...' I always save the messages."

Now some un-Dom like quotes:


"I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. Then I laughed...really hard." -- Jerri Blank; Strangers With Candy
Violent...but I makes me giggle...

"Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching
them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years
telling them to sit down and shut-up." Hmm...I can't find who wrote that.



Anyhoo! Looking forward to quotes you guys might have to share!

[Saralitazie]

OOOOOOO!!! Quotes are my hobby- although I tend to collect more serious ones But here's at least a couple:

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. -Katharine Hepburn

"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely." -unknown Love that one.

And here's a whole batch:

Every woman is a rebel, and usually in wild revolt against herself.
Oscar Wilde

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.
Joseph Conrad

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.
Maureen Murphy

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Maryon Pearson

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.
Rebecca West I LOVE this!

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
Elayne Boosler

If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
Linda Ellerbee

I've been wondering about that last one for years...

[BittenBuggy]

Guess who?

"Rabbits sometimes run out in front of your car, right? Well, I hit this rabbit on this lonely road in the South Island and I wanted to make sure it was dead. If it wasn't, I'd put it out of its misery. And it was quite dead, so I thought, 'Well, why waste it?' And so I made a little fire and ate it.

"It was fresh. That, I knew."


"I had a great sex scene with Christopher Walken in The Prophecy."

[Saralitazie]

Oh Jeez..I'm not even going to guess who said the Rabbit one, because the person I have in mind would probably open a can of whoop-ass on me

[BittenBuggy]

"The girls have got a bit excited. I spoke to my agent and she say's she's wading through fail mail. We've got bags of it, and I'm like 'Ok, well what do we do with that, then?'"

Ah, such a perfectly wonderful show of Mr. Blooms grounding in reality and supirior intellect...

[Saralitazie]

He may be the Ultimate Sex God TM but sometimes I have to wonder if he's all there upstairs...

[Saralitazie]

Just found another Dom n' Billy one

Dom- "You do get those kind of weird shaky people, I like them. And when you hold them they’re always kind of hot."

Billy- "I would approach you if I were a little girl. I’d be all shaky and hot. I’d give you a lollipop."

[Saralitazie]

To quote Giles: "I feel like snapping necks until everyone's dead."

"You are a lot smarter than you look. Of course, you look like a retard."

[DragonEyes]

I love collecting quotes....

let me see what I've got :

"The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder."
Alfred Hitchcock.

"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."
Woody Allen.

"Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable."
Cher.

"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest."
Roseanne Barr.

"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce."
Mark Twain .

"When women go wrong, men go right after them."
Mae West.
"An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."
Agatha Christie.

[queenoftheshire]

Back to my neverending love for the Dom & Billy Quotes...Mwhahah!

Dom: "Some people think I'm called Mary..."
Billy: "Yes but do you have a little lamb?"

Dom: "Billy's a great guy."
Billy: "Dom's an idiot."

Dom: "Mmm. Bosom."
Billy: "Did I say bosom?"
Dom: Nods "Yeah." That one always gets me!!!

Billy: "I just lost my train of thought. Keep talking Dom."
Dom: "I like eggs in the morning and bacon at night. Is that bad?"
Billy: "No keep going, keep going."
Dom: "When I was seven I used to eat ants."
Billy: "Wait, I remembered! I just lost it again. Thats amazing isn't it?"

Billy: "Well I've known you now for about 4 or 5 years and they've been the happiest 4 or 5 years of my life."
Dom: (nods)"I bring sunshine into people's hearts just though my talking and my mind work."
Billy: "Yeah..."

Dom: [on Billy] "Still now, three or four years down the line, we'll manage to make each other crack up in tears of laughter... and fascinate each other, which is the perfect relationship. Maybe we will get married in a couple of years! If he was a girl, I'd marry him today! I've been suggesting to Billy a sex change, but he really feels quite manly about things [Billy shouts, "I love women!"]. Yes, he's really passionate about women, as I am."

Dom: [on Elijah] "Who is that? Who's that guy? Some extra. I don't know."

Ok ok! I'll get some nice Elijah quote up soon too!

[Anna]

"I wasn´t kissing her, I was just whispering in her mouth." - Groucho Marx

[Gwenevere]

I've used this one before:

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W.C. Fields

[Saralitazie]

Ooh I like that

[miriel361]

I love this thread - it is hilarious.

[Viv]