[Alassante]

Yes, I am a newbie to this site but I am sooo excited to be here. I have some stories posted on a adult fan fiction site but I felt like I was drowning in the sea of SLASH. Is it wrong for me to not want the hobbits all sleeping together in the non-sleeping kind of way? And why, oh Valar why, does the elf end up being abused or raped by another man. Or even worse, the all too disgusting thought of Legolas having sex with Gimli?

Sorry...I had to go throw up.

Seriously, I am a huge fan of the movies and I even have Elvish tattooed on my leg. I got my first (and only) tattoo a year ago and wanted to do a dedication to my father who died in 1998 but I didn't want it to be something everyone could see and know what it said. So I had someone at a Sindarin elvish language page to do the words in elvish. I had a few people check it out to make sure it did in fact say what I wanted (rather than 'this stupid idiot thinks this says something else in elvish!'). I mean this is permanent. So taking it and the picture of an outline of a cat, I had them permanently tattooed on my ankle. My friend thought for a year it was on backwards until I explained it was in Elvish writing not just Elvish wording. Mortals!

ANYWAY, enough about my ankle. I am a huge fan of the movie but I must admit, with much embarrassment, I have been struggling with the books for years. I have made it through the Fellowship and have skipped around to the good parts in the other two books plus I have read the Appendices but I cannot get through the books. Thinking it was just because I was used to the movie version, I tried the Hobbit. I made it through twenty pages before I put it down and never picked it back up. Recently I started on the Silmarillion since I love the elves. I have come to the conclusion that I must be a complete moron or something. I cannot read these books. So far I have spent the whole first chapter reading a sentence then flipping back to the index to find out who, where, or what he is talking about. He is like Shakespeare. Brilliant writer just hard to read. I need the cliff notes version - anyone know if they have them? Either that or Tolkien for Dummies. I did manage to read all three movie photo books!! Does that count??

So I am rambling again. My point is I try to write good fanfics but do not compare what I write to the books. It won't work out. My fanfics are based on the Peter Jackson edition. Favorite characters - (need you ask) the oh-so-obvious favorite of all - Legolas then Aragorn, Boromir, and Eomer. I usually throw in Eowyn and Arwen to offset my original character's being a woman surrounded by all of these men. (What I wouldn't give??) I haven't really gotten into the hobbit scene or Haldir, Elrond, or Faramir (although the one story I have posted here has Faramir as a big part of the story). I have a lot on the adult fan fiction site that I am planning to edit some of the sex done a notch or two and put on this site but I haven't done it yet.

Stay tuned and thanks for letting me ramble.

[DarkElfChilde]

Welcome! Everyone calls me DEC, which I don't blame them because even I don't want to type out the whole screen name. HA.

Okay, well...talk to you soon.


- DEC

[Viv]

Welcome! The tattoo sounds lovely. Do you have a pic? And don't worry too much about the book-reading thing. The wonderful thing about this forum is that you can toss a book-canon question out there and a half dozen people will respond... with text quotations! Lots of knowledgeable and friendly folks around here.

Also, I know the purists are going to skin me for saying this, but have you checked out the Encyclopedia of Arda (http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/)? That's about as close to a free cliff's notes as I can think of. For all language matters, refer to the Adalambion (http://www.uib.no/People/hnohf/). If you want to buy a physical book that is a great resource, I'd recommend Robert Foster's Complete Guide to Middle-earth.

But even if you don't get all the way through the books, don't feel weird. We have a large and lush movie-verse archive here, and you're more than welcome to browse and add to it.

I'm one of the challenge admins (see challenges section on the bottom left of the main home page), so if you have any questions about those, please feel free to PM or e-mail me.

[ghettoelleth]

Hey Alassante,

Don't feel too bad about lack of knowledge. Ihave thrown out a million questions on a million subjects and there is always someone who can answer them. SpaceWeavil is a walking database as is Viv. Just about anything but especially Cirdan questions can be answered by Andreth. Inglor is a genius. Just a few small examples of the amazing crew here. You'll love it, they make writing so much fun. Welcome. I'm sure you're gonna love it here.

Jes xx

[Andreth]

[Texasgirl]

hey hey hey!
welcome to OSA! i have a feeling someone as talkative as you will be VERY welcome on the forums......
about the boook thing, don't worry - a lot of people here haven't read them, and it is as enjoyable to read movie-verse as it is book-verse - of course, only if the writing's better than shit!

TG

[Viv]

[Alassante]

Andreth, Viv, and Sindohte (if you are reading this),

I honestly meant no disrespect to anyone who has reviewed my story and said something about my story not matching up to the books. I was just saying that I hadn't read all of the books (only the Fellowship) so I knew my stories wouldn't match up. I do not, I repeat, do not take any offense at reviews that explain how my story is different from the book. I personally had no idea that Denethor wasn't a jerk so I appreciated that tidbit of knowledge. I frequently slightly change the character's personality to write the story. The only one I have rarely changed the personality (except in a few that I am currently writing but they are not major change) is Aragorn. For some reason I am unable to make the hero into a bad guy or a jerk. I read one fanfic on another site where he raped an elf (female). I couldn't do that drastic a change on him. Just like I could never do the slash thing.

At any rate - please review my stories honestly. I appreciate any feedback or reviews. I hope you enjoy them but even if you don't I don't mind some constructive critism. I respect that everyone had a right to their own opinion.

Oh and Robbie the Programmer Guy Who Thinks Boromir Has a Big Nose, look at a profile shot of Faramir and Boromir - they have matching noses. Peter Jackson must have decided that to be brothers they had to have matching noses - big or not. hehe And what is that they say about men with big noses. Or is that feet? I forget.

[Viv]

[Andreth]

Thank you, Alassante, and I'm very sorry I snapped at you about it. Probably should have taken my own advice and contacted you through PM. I have been VERY sensitive the last few days, because I've started trying to leave nice, but honest and helpful, reviews for authors and I have discovered that there is a large contingent of authors here who don't want anything but praise. If you leave honest reviews for authors like this, they tend to either dismiss you like you don't know what you're talking about and therefore are not worthy, or they get upset and argue with you because they just know you're out to get them because you don't think their story is OMG! the greatest. (And just a side note to you authors out there who only want praise, *please* make a note of that in your story summary so that those of us who want to leave nicely phrased, constructive criticism will know not to bother.)

I apologize for thinking that you were one of these types and I appreciate you telling me your reasons behind the statement. I'm afraid this was my fault and not yours. If you ever need any help with your stories or with things in the books, just let me know. I'll be happy to help you. And really, welcome to the site. Thankfully not everyone here is as grouchy as I am.

Anna

PS And it's big hands you're supposed to look for, but noses might be a good indicator of other bodily....uh, protrusions.

[Alassante]

Note to self - stop dating men with big noses......

[Viv]

You know there's a whole thread dedicated to Does Size Matter... (or maybe two threads, now I think about it; we talk about this *a lot*). lol

[Andreth]

Yes, there are certain people who ask about it a lot and obviously need reassurance.

[Alassante]

When the sex scene comes into play and they are removing garments - what exactly are they wearing under those dresses??? I use the word undergarments a lot to be vague but I think I should probably know what exactly these men are removing. Are they wearing corsets, slips, etc. And also, how are the dresses fastened? Do they unbutton, untie, or just slide off on their own (interesting concept.... that could be embarassing)

And what is it that men are wearing - pants, breeches, leggings?? Are they wearing anything under them? (I somehow doubt it) Once again - how do they fasten?

Do women wear clothes to sleep in? What are they called? Somehow I thought lace nightie or satin teddy wasn't going to go over well in Middle Earth fanfic and I knew that bustiers, thongs, and garter belts were definitely not happening in that world.

And a non-clothes related question - if men have manhoods, do elves have elfhoods? Can you still call a male elf a man and a female elf a woman?

Sorry - but I had to ask!

[Andreth]

All my Elves wear no undergarments. They're au naturale. I guess it depends on what you're doing with the story. Although, yes, I think it's safe to say that teddies and underwire bras are probably unlikely for ME. I gloss over the whole button/zipper/fastener question by just saying something was removed, undone, unfastened, etc.

The pants, breeches, leggings thing seems to vary depending on where you live. Here in the US we call them pants, but in the UK I believe pants is what underwear is called. I've seen a lot of people use leggings in their stories, so that's an acceptable option too.

I have my women, Elf and mortal, sleeping in nightgowns or nightdresses, but again, that's all personal choice. There's not anything set in stone, just so long as you don't try to use modern clothing.

On the flip side of the coin, some people will try to tell you that Tolkien's Middle-earth is like the medieval world but that's not accurate. In fact, in the Appendices to RotK and again in Letters of Tolkien, the professor states that his world is *not* medieval, not even Rohan, even though the language was based on Old English. That's not to say you can't use medieval aspects for Middle-earth if you want, but the world itself is definitely not medieval.