[JaneDoe]

What are some of the things you see so much in LotR fanfic that if you never saw it again you would not miss it? Here's my list:

1. OFCs with red hair and green eyes. Double for "auburn" or "copper" hair and "emerald" or "jade" eyes. Can we have some diversity, please? Y'know what would be cool to see? Ethnic women. Plus-size women. REAL women. I want to see truly beautiful women, not magazine covers. I'd be more surprised by a female elf with curves than one with different-colored hair and eyes.

2. Wimpy Elrond. I find it hard to believe that Gil-galad would entrust Vilya to someone who could not take care of himself without the aid of his faithful guards and retainers. He's a scholar and a healer, but people often forget that he's a warrior too. There must be a reason that Elrond and not Glorfinel or Erestor rules Imladris. The sword you saw in the movie was named Hadhafang. It means "throng cleaver." Does that sound like someone who needs to call on mighty Glorfindel or Legolas or Haldir when a tiny Orc band comes along?

3. "...eyes darkening" as a sign of emotional state. Can we do something different? What about a glowing aura (actually saw this in a fanfic once, and it was great)? The feel of a rush of energy? Or something other than the camera trick thing. Please? It was OK the first few times I read it, but it seems like everybody is doing it. I think it's time for a change.

4. Legolas Who Trembles Like a Green Leaf. See Wimpy Elrond for more. I mean, come on! Would someone who could wade into a sea of Orcs, bring down an oliphant, and walk the Paths of the Dead without trembling be so tender as to bruise if you even breathe hard around him? It took a fucking balrog to make Legolas screech like a girl, and even then Gimli knows well enough not to push the issue.

[ArtanisOrangeBlossom]

JaneDoe


I totally agree.

Although i do admit i have used eyes darkening...

what i don't like is when people portray the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien to be some cold couple. erg! they were in love when they met and still are in love!!! get it right

other than that i don't know...*thinks* i think you listed them all....

[BittenBuggy]

[SpaceWeavil]

[Thuriniel]

[SpaceWeavil]

Just the comment about being rescued from Orcs jarred my paranoia bone I don't actually mind if people disagree with the way I present characters, as usually I have my reasons for doing it and so don't mind if people have different views and different reasons. I would rather though that it was said to me properly, in a review or PM or something if that was the case.

[inglor]

Wimpy fawning Elflords period. This has to do with my slash aversion. There was only one weepy Elflord: Salagant, and he was just a coward.
IMHO, in Arda, the lords were lords for a reason, people followed tem because they lead, had a bearing and acted like lords. Who is going to follow some guy who wilts at the first sign of trouble or wants to have a pout when his lover spurns him. Duty had a tremendous weight in Tolkien's world (see Finrod, Beleg, Sam, Haleth, FRODO, etc.) and the Lords had a duty to those that followed them. Elf lords shirking thier duty because of a bad mood simply ticks me off.

Galadriel that is bitchy, selfish, petulant and mean to Celeborn. I know I wrote her this way but she turned by the end of my story. If you are going to use one of the Prof's favorite characters, try to get her right. She was strong willed and wise. Do not confuse her with Aredhel. The Prof even said she was the greatest of the Noldor, up to and including Feanor. Show a little respect.

Oh and I know this is a non-slash site but if you write it, please, please no more Maedhros/Fingon. It's tiring.


Inglor

[Viv]

Helpless childlike hobbits.

Comic-relief or fugly Gimli.

Overdescribed wardrobes.

Windows, doors, locks, and other bizarre architectural elements in talain.

Balls. (I mean the kind where folks dress up and dance. The other kind... just don't see those enough in fic)

Evil vampire rapist Boromir (or Denethor).

Pregnant males.

The words "ministrations" and "plundered."

Attempts to invert sentence structure to achive the lofty tone of Tolkien but which in reality come off sounding stilted and irritating.

Semicolon abuse.

People falling in love with each other for no other reason than mutual extreme prettiness.

Everybody in Arda knowing all about the Ring, Aragorn's true identity, Gandalf's Maia nature, and other so-called "secrets." Similarly, everyone knowing instantly what a hobbit is and exactly where the Shire is located.

Pronoun abuse (somewhat less of an issue in het, but still ripely unpleasant).

Original characters that can best the canon characters. This is particularly annoying when the original character, for instance, can best Gimli at killing things. Or Legolas at archery. Or Elrond at healing. Or other similar nonsense.

There are others. I've thought about this a lot.

[SpaceWeavil]

[Viv]

[ghettoelleth]

Space, I don't think anyone can read your stories and pull themselves out of them long enough to be bothered by any minor infractions if indeed they do exist. coughcoughbodysnatcherscoughkickassficcoughhurryupwithnext chaptercoughcough

That being said, the things I hate to see

Pussy whipped Celeborn, ugh

Cirdan being relegated to a virtual non-entity, Tolkien himself described him as having a connection to the valar that surpassed all others in middle earth, we can safely assume that this would include even Galadriel. That makes him a vip in my book.

I've said this before but I don't think it can be stressed strongly enough: Nothing detracts from a heated sex scene more than typos and rediculous descriptives. this is my all time fave ex.

"He held his throbbing elfhood in his hand as he gently striked my clot with the other" Like a bucket of cold water, isn't it?

Any canon characer being made to look goofy, letcherous, or clumsy
'cept maybe the twins and Rumil and Orophin, they just beg to be written fun loving and silly.

And finally, though I have found no supporting evidence of this anywhere.....
GLORFINDEL IS NOT GAY, DAMMIT!

Oh, one more. Reluctant whimpy Aragorn, even PJ is guilty of that one ffs. Remember when he threatened to beat Eomer's ass? Not so reluctant I feel.

PS. Awww, red headed OC's?? I love em, huggers to Yavanie xx

[Viv]

That reminds me of another: The characterization of the Sons of Elrond as prankster slacker silly boys was funny in Claudio's *humour* fics. However, there's nothing in canon to support Trickster Twinkies as far as I know. But that seems to be the accepted fanon characterization. Much with the overdone.

[ghettoelleth]

Aww, come on Viv, it's so much fun though. What could be more exciting than bunjee jumping/MS teasing/ twins?

[Viv]

[ghettoelleth]

*THUD* *Picking myself off of the floor brushing snack crumbs off my shorts*

You Win!