[catmorgan]

ok, I'm pretty new to the whole writing thing, and I'm also pretty awful at it. I have a relatively simple how-to-write question that has been driving me batty.
How do you write several things that happen at once? Like, say for example, Person A sneaks up on Person B doing something private and clears hisher throat. Person B squawks, jumps, grips their thundering heart, and yells "GEE-sus H. Christ!".
I'm actually pretty good at drawing things out (slo-mo rules!), but I'm terrible at writing fight sequences and reactions because its too fast paced. Can someone help me?
Thanks
catmorgan

[Viv]

I'm actually pretty crappy at writing action sequences. Maram68 is helping me polish one right now. I'd ask her or Scribe; they're two of the better action-scene writers.

And if you get any response privately, please share the wisdom... I'm interested in hearing what the experts say!

[JennnLee]

My advice, which has always worked for me, is get a writing partner and make her write all the action sequences. (Just kidding, Ell! Well, kinda!)

The last time I wrote an action sequence where a lot of things were happening at once, the thing that worked best for me was writing it in lots of little short scenes and jump-cutting between them. Like:

Person A looked across the room. She noticed person B, minding her own business.

***

Person B sat at a table balancing her checkbook.

***

Person A chuckled evilly. "Bwahahaha..."

***

Person B frowned when the numbers didn't add up. Maybe she should try again...

***

Person A snuck up and cleared her throat.

***

Person B squawked, jumped, gripped their thundering heart, and yelled "GEE-sus H. Christ!".


I don't know if that illustration worked as an example, but that's the sort of way I tackled it. Just little bits at a time, and cues in the scenes to show the time overlapping.

[KhazarKhum]

Action scenes...hmmm...

Jennnlee has a good point: Short sentences, short paragraphs. Think of staccatto music: quick, short bursts of energy.

[NancyBrooke]

Here's a vague reply that I hope is helpful.

I think it's critical to try and avoid the "and then" syndrome, a good general rule anyway. One thing that always turns me out in any writing (especially my own) is the tendency to have it go like this:

A was doing this.

Then B did that.

Then A yelped and ...

Sooooo tiresome! and, by the way, similar to the dreaded "he said/she said" yawn fest.

I find any writing, action, POV, conversation, whatever, is bettered when instead of writing about action you write about reaction, or affect, or cause.

So, instead of:

A was sittting quietly balancing her checkbook when B came in and tapped her on the shoulder.

Try:

A whirled with a yelp of "Christ on a Crutch!" at the touch on her shoulder, only to turn and see B, smiling mischievously. A sighed as B took the chair opposite; "I was trying to balance my checkbook and can't find 39 cents, you goofball! Now you've made me loose my place."

As readers we want to know much more than just what movements took place. It can also help to think about modifying your persepective, if you're writing from a third-person omnicient, e.g. try not looking 'down' so much as looking 'in' on your characters.

Hope that helps.

N


**** Just re-read this post and it sounds like I'm undercutting previous replies - not my intention!!

[Ellbee]

When I write straight action, I usually try to do what Jenn described - short words, short sentences or sentence fragments, simple ideas, simple structure. It gets the narrative moving quickly and gives it an air of breathlessness. If two characters are in the midst of, say, a swordfight, they aren't going to be intellectualizing, they're going to be focusing on staying alive. When I do go into thoughts during an action sequence it's to highlight the fear or anger the characters are feeling.

Of course, that's just my own way of doing it, everyone has different methods. Try several different ways of writing a scene, and see what each brings out, and which one takes the focus where you want it. Do you want quick action? Do you want a sense of impending doom? Do you want the identity of the sneaker-up to be a secret? Just experiment.

-Ellbee