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Alassante
Virtual Village Mod
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 20
Location: Hitchhiking to Rivendell
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 Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 6:40 pm Post subject: Stupidest Line/Lines YOU Wrote in a FanFiction |
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Ok since Texasgirl complained that we only talk about sex - here is a non-sex topic. (Well my lines are sexual but the topic is not)
BIG POINT HERE - DO NOT POST THINGS THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE WRITTEN -  this is not a slam thread - this is a "I cannot believe I wrote that and posted this story - How Embarassing!" thread. 
OKAY here goes - this is actually a couple of lines that go together:
| Quote: | OFC has stolen something and they have her tied up trying to interrogate her Boromir and Aragorn have left her alone with Legolas:
OFC to Legolas: "I got a better idea. Lean over here and let me see if you taste as good as you look.”
Blah blah blah blah - cut out a section
OFC smiled at Legolas. “I have never been with an elf. Why don’t you untie me and we can go find out how magical you really are.” |
Okay - there is it. Top that embarassing display! 
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ZeeDrippyVessel
Joined: 11 May 2003
Posts: 144
Location: deep south
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| Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 6:53 pm Post subject: |
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You REALLY don't want me to answer this, do you???
I mean... this would be sooooo tempting.... (and Viv and Do and Scribe and who else hold their breath... please Zee, please oh please oh pleaseohpleaseohpleasepleasepleaseplease don't say it....)
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Viv
Challenge Admin
Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Posts: 71
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 7:49 pm Post subject: |
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I was co-writing a Troy pwp on the fly, oopsed a typo, and out popped this howler:
"Paris could not discern the expression on her face, but he felt the tempting tickle of her long hair against his hip, and his boy stiffened again."
"Boy," quite obviously, should have been "body." Even so, it was a pretty dorky line. No wonder my co-writer dissolved into giggles and asked whether we were writing comedic porn.
Nah, I told her, just urple. And I fixed the typo. |
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Alassante
Virtual Village Mod
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 20
Location: Hitchhiking to Rivendell
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| Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 8:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Viv wrote: | I was co-writing a Troy pwp on the fly, oopsed a typo, and out popped this howler:
"Paris could not discern the expression on her face, but he felt the tempting tickle of her long hair against his hip, and his boy stiffened again."
"Boy," quite obviously, should have been "body." Even so, it was a pretty dorky line. No wonder my co-writer dissolved into giggles and asked whether we were writing comedic porn.
Nah, I told her, just urple. And I fixed the typo. |
I don't know some men might call it their "boy". It's better than some names I have heard it called.
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Crucio! Because stupidity should be painful!
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ZeeDrippyVessel
Joined: 11 May 2003
Posts: 144
Location: deep south
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| Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 8:49 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="Alassante] I don't know some men might call it their "boy". It's better than some names I have heard it called.[/quote]
I always refered to it as Mr. Happy...
uhm.... is this getting sexual again???
***crawls back into lurkdom***
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Last edited by ZeeDrippyVessel on Tue Feb 01, 2005 12:40 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Viv
Challenge Admin
Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Posts: 71
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 9:57 pm Post subject: |
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| ZeeDrippyVessel wrote: | | uhm.... is this getting sexual again??? |
You sound surprised, or something. |
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LuthienTinuviel
Joined: 29 Dec 2003
Posts: 354
Location: Dancing in the clouds.
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| Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 12:53 am Post subject: |
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I'm accustomed to the reference as 'bird' or 'birdy'.
Sounds wrong to me somehow, but that was what my Mom used. -_-"
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Alassante
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Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 20
Location: Hitchhiking to Rivendell
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| Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 1:15 am Post subject: |
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It has gotten sexual again. I blame myself. I should have let Viv's boy comment slide. But, well, I didn't. Maybe TexasGirl won't see this. If she does - It was me, I confess although Viv started it. 
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Crucio! Because stupidity should be painful!
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Haleth
Joined: 27 Sep 2003
Posts: 538
Location: The ruins of Tharbad.
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| Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 5:23 am Post subject: |
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I had the awful habit of constantly writing pubic when I meant public and didn't always catch it on the proofread.
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Books would not be read, and pipes would not smoke. The day slipped out of his hand, running aimlessly to waste. JRR Tolkien. The Lost Road |
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ghettoelleth
Joined: 06 Nov 2004
Posts: 1804
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| Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 9:45 am Post subject: |
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You know, when my boy stiffens, I just give him a little smack with a newspaper and....ugh, so erotic gives ya girl wood, doesn't it?
Zee, please say it. Baby Eru wept don't leave us holding on like that.
My fave all time sucky line. Ellisk was betaing for me and the line originally read
Cirdan felt as if he'd been kicked in the stomach.
Ellisk said, That's a little harsh, tone it down.
I sent back this line:
Cirdan felt as if he'd been hit by a truck?
ultimate crap line
Rumil: where are the twins?
Orophin: I think they ran off to the midwest, something about making crop circles again
Rumil: Oh yeah, they do lovely work, don't they?
Orophin: I don't know if farmer billy bob would agree
Rumil (in his best sling blade voice): MmmHmm, them elves is good, mmmhmm, fellers taste an awful lot like corn.
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NancyBrooke
Challenge Admin
Joined: 11 May 2003
Posts: 160
Location: In a motel 6 by the airport
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| Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 9:55 am Post subject: |
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Now, here I was thinking I had nothing I could contribute here, as all my crappy stuff never sees the light of day and quickly even gets removed from my hard drive, all paper copies, and my memory as soon as possible ...
But:
I was just going over some notes I made on my current story, and under the big BAD/DELETE scrawl saw this:
| Quote: | | I was drawn nearer; the light of the hissing lamp sparked in the errant tendrils of her hair; her arms, her hands, her knees, thighs glowed a flickering gold, though her face was deeply shadowed. |
Although I kind of like the "errant tendrils" bit, it's pretty undeniably  Might deserve an award for gratuitous use of semi-colons as well.
| Alassante wrote: | | OFC smiled at Legolas. “I have never been with an elf. Why don’t you untie me and we can go find out how magical you really are.” |
The very fact that you wrote "OFC" sets off alarm bells and guffaws for me, I must say.
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NB Duchess of WHY TF Cant'chu Punctuate, First Duchess of F*&(ing &*ll yur comma placement sux!
Nazgul #3 in charge of ducking & sniggering
Garo golf a conu ned i eneth aran an ir ho delitha ad
Last edited by NancyBrooke on Mon Jan 31, 2005 9:57 am; edited 1 time in total |
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ghettoelleth
Joined: 06 Nov 2004
Posts: 1804
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| Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 9:57 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm, abuse of punctuation. Imagine that!
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NancyBrooke
Challenge Admin
Joined: 11 May 2003
Posts: 160
Location: In a motel 6 by the airport
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| Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 9:58 am Post subject: |
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_________________
NB Duchess of WHY TF Cant'chu Punctuate, First Duchess of F*&(ing &*ll yur comma placement sux!
Nazgul #3 in charge of ducking & sniggering
Garo golf a conu ned i eneth aran an ir ho delitha ad |
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ghettoelleth
Joined: 06 Nov 2004
Posts: 1804
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| Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 9:59 am Post subject: |
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Okay Nancy, that's TWICE you made me spit!
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"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can not confirm their validity." Abraham Lincoln |
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NancyBrooke
Challenge Admin
Joined: 11 May 2003
Posts: 160
Location: In a motel 6 by the airport
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| Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 10:01 am Post subject: |
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_________________
NB Duchess of WHY TF Cant'chu Punctuate, First Duchess of F*&(ing &*ll yur comma placement sux!
Nazgul #3 in charge of ducking & sniggering
Garo golf a conu ned i eneth aran an ir ho delitha ad |
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