[Alassante]

OK - we keep hijacking threads so this the thread to hijack!!! Hijacking is allowed actually is preferred. Mean people are not! You can me serious or you can be funny but do not be mean or we will tell!! And I am not talking about telling your mommy, I am talking about telling Scribe and the other people in charge (can I get an updated list of those in charge so I know who to contact and no, despite the way she acts, Ghetto is NOT in charge)

Anyway - feel free to ramble. We all do it, no matter what you say. Here is my big ramble from last night and I am reposting it here so I get a larger audience. Unless all of you people who are not reading this saw that I started the thread and ran!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEN SUCCESSFUL WAYS TO GET ALONG IN OSA

1) Got a copy of LACE? If not get one.

2) If you don't like what it says....burn it.

3) If you burn it....tell everyone you never read it nor did your characters. If you don't tell them that, they get all upset. Trust me. I know. I found out AFTER I published two smutty elf stories. Who knew that people that lived that long do not have sex before marriage??? Not me. And Legolas....never married. What a waste of a perfectly damn good elf. Don't even get me started.

4) If you have your elves speaking elvish, do NOT and I repeat DO NOT go to Gray Company for your elvish. Don't ask me what my elves were saying but it wasn't elvish!!

5) If your hit count is low and you keep checking it, eventually the numbers will go up. Of course, I soon realized that every time I checked it, it went up by one. So I have checked one of my stories over 300 times.

6) If you don't like a review, cuss out the person. To the computer screen only. IM your friend, bitch about it. DO NOT CUSS OUT OR BITCH OUT THE REVIEWER IN A PM. They get testy about that. But cussing them out to the computer screen is A-OK. If you want to be mature about the whole thing, ask Vana. She is the mature one. Come to me to complain or Ghetto to slash some tires. DEC can make a Avatar saying how mean the person is but you might get in trouble for that too!

7) If you do not know how to do something, ask. If however, you are told how to do it and still cannot figure it out, just don't do it. I, being the village idiot, will broadcast that I do not know how to do something: just to find out it was user error to start with. Andreth and Sindohte can back me up on this.

8.) If you need to learn how to remove elven armor with your teeth (with your teeth??) ask Zee

9) If you start an innocent thread, it can turn into either a joke fest (see current thread) or a smut fest (see any I start, for some reason they turn out that way!)

10) Betas - Betas are your friend. They are sensitive people and they need much sucking up to and you should do it. They read the worst crap you can write and make it turn out beautifully. They are smarter than you. They are better than you. And they are always much nicer than you. (see how sucking up is done - if you need any help with the sucking up - PM me, I am a pro and NO GHETTO DO NOT MAKING ANY RUDE COMMENT ABOUT ME AND SUCKING NO MATTER HOW TEMPTING IT IS FOR YOU, that goes for you two as well, DEC and Vana although you two are less likely to stray there)

11) yes I know I said there were 10 but I added another - get over it already - SLASH may be scary, but SLASH art can be sexy - see Theban Band....... . And if you have read on other sites about SLASH and MPREGs, there really are no such things as MPREGs and as for SLASH, why does Legolas always get it in the end.....no pun intended, of course.
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Below are all of the emoticons that I have wanted to use but not been able to yet.


OK - one more thing and I will FINALLY shut up....Who do we talk to about getting an Emoticon that flips people off??

[DarkElfChilde]

<^> Look closely...that is what I do in other message boards and in yahoo chat when I'm not using Yahelite...as Yahelite is the only one that has a smilie that flips people off...well actually, it's just the finger, but yeah.

[ghettoelleth]

I staunchly refuse to play until you bring your pink ass back in here and fix the little squiggly things that make the page run over. I have 32" wide screen and I still have to scroll. Vana is going to come in have a FIT if you don't take care of this quick young lady!

all my love
Big Pimpin'

*here's my suck up of the month club entry"

Scribe - The Patient (actually, it is one of the best fics I've ever read where there were no acrobatic contortionist sex scenes with)

[Alassante]

[SecretKeeper]

Oooh.......Alassante you made a rambling thread! YAY! Are these threads allowed?

Hmm.......well..........to ramble........I suppose I could say what fics I've read that I like but then I'd be a suck up (No offense Ghetto though I also like "The Patient" and some of Scribe's other work like "Trimurative", which I probably spelled wrong). Then I'm being hypocritical. Yeah....the scrolly thingy at the bottom is annoying. DEC, love the finger. And among all other things, what's wrong with smut?!

[ArtanisOrangeBlossom]

well let me make an entrance with saying


I am thinking.....of starting a multi-chapter fic...don't anyone go and die on me!


Al...you being quiet? not likely! (love you girl)

[ghettoelleth]

There you are Arta, my lil poochie smoochie girl, c'mere

Hey, if we can do multi chaptered threads, you can do multi chaptered fics.

[ArtanisOrangeBlossom]

hiya Ghetto!


LOL i'm not sure who it'll be about...why i might take a deviation from Orophin and Artanis

*puts out stretchers*

[MaglorRedeemed]

[Alassante]

Can one of you graphic type people please wax the hair off Karl's butt on Art's avie? Cause that is all I can see now!!

[DarkElfChilde]

I would but I don't pay attention to his butt...just a few.

[ghettoelleth]

If we wax his butt, where will he hang his comb?

[Alassante]

[ZeeDrippyVessel]

[quote]1) Got a copy of LACE? If not get one.
[/quote]

Huh? what's that???

[quote]2) If you don't like what it says....burn it.
[/quote]

Oh... Thaaaaaaat! Oh hell yeah. I have ISSUES with that book, man! Then again, I have issues with Christopher's notes in my Lost Tales where he keeps INSERTING - [i]'they were NOT intimate at this time.'[/i] Excuse me, son. If she traipsed all over Arda to rescue him and then lived in the woods with him for how long - you better believe, she was boffing him silly!

I also have issues with the silly person who said my sex scenes were amateurish and too flowery and then in the same week commented on a yahoo group I lurk at that she a)hated the pairing the fic was about and b) hated nc17 rated fics.



What was she doing READING my fic then????

[quote]3) If you burn it....tell everyone you never read it nor did your characters. If you don't tell them that, they get all upset. Trust me. I know. I found out AFTER I published two smutty elf stories. Who knew that people that lived that long do not have sex before marriage??? Not me. And Legolas....never married. What a waste of a perfectly damn good elf. Don't even get me started. [/quote]

Nope - Not going to do it. Wouldn't be prudent.

[quote]4) If you have your elves speaking elvish, do NOT and I repeat DO NOT go to Gray Company for your elvish. Don't ask me what my elves were saying but it wasn't elvish!![/quote]

Well, I'll TELL you why... It AIN"T Tolkien. I'ts somebody else!

hmmm... Makes one wonder - don't give a warg's arse about LACE, but yet, we get po'd about Grelvish... doesnt' make sense does it???

[quote]5) If your hit count is low and you keep checking it, eventually the numbers will go up. Of course, I soon realized that every time I checked it, it went up by one. So I have checked one of my stories over 300 times[/quote]

Sweetie you are giving away our secrets...very BAD form!

[quote]6) If you don't like a review, cuss out the person. To the computer screen only. IM your friend, bitch about it. DO NOT CUSS OUT OR BITCH OUT THE REVIEWER IN A PM. They get testy about that. But cussing them out to the computer screen is A-OK. If you want to be mature about the whole thing, ask Vana. She is the mature one. Come to me to complain or Ghetto to slash some tires. DEC can make a Avatar saying how mean the person is but you might get in trouble for that too! [/quote]

okay but what if the reviewer you PM over what they said, didn't leave a review - simply dissed you for dissing the reviewer you dissed a year and a half before . I mean it doesn't LOOK like they even READ your silly pathetic fic with the amateurish and flowery sex scene????

You know, percoset is a lovely thing...

[quote]7) If you do not know how to do something, ask. If however, you are told how to do it and still cannot figure it out, just don't do it. I, being the village idiot, will broadcast that I do not know how to do something: just to find out it was user error to start with. Andreth and Sindohte can back me up on this. [/quote]

nah - I just blunder thru anyway. If I get called on the carpet - I pretend idiocy. At the very WORST - I'll end up on a flamer journal and the things those morons come up with just give me bunnies!



[quote]8.) If you need to learn how to remove elven armor with your teeth (with your teeth??) ask Zee [/quote]

Whut?

[quote]9) If you start an innocent thread, it can turn into either a joke fest (see current thread) or a smut fest (see any I start, for some reason they turn out that way!) [/quote]

Only recently have I ventured into this arena. I might venture out again too.


[quote]10) Betas - Betas are your friend. They are sensitive people and they need much sucking up to and you should do it. They read the worst crap you can write and make it turn out beautifully. They are smarter than you. They are better than you. And they are always much nicer than you. (see how sucking up is done - if you need any help with the sucking up - PM me, I am a pro and NO GHETTO DO NOT MAKING ANY RUDE COMMENT ABOUT ME AND SUCKING NO MATTER HOW TEMPTING IT IS FOR YOU, that goes for you two as well, DEC and Vana although you two are less likely to stray there) [/quote]

Excuse me, but My beta's are tough bitches. They call me on the phone and threaten my life and the hairs on my head.

[quote]11) yes I know I said there were 10 but I added another - get over it already - SLASH may be scary, but SLASH art can be sexy - see Theban Band....... . And if you have read on other sites about SLASH and MPREGs, there really are no such things as MPREGs and as for SLASH, why does Legolas always get it in the end.....no pun intended, of course. [/quote]

I personallyy had thei haldir wallpaper on my compie for 18 months. It was replaced - for a few days - by the black and white Snape/Lucius/Cane picture... which was then replaced by an OLD Bruce Hopkins picture of him in leggings, high in the air with one leg extended over his head and a bare chest and muscles and .... my GOD.... may I please have one LOOOOOONg night with you....

ahem....


y'know, I have nothing against slash, but my god people - there is only so much OIL in Arda! And spit! And besides... women have assholes too!


okay.,.. how many of you did I just make squirm???

Don't get me started on mpregs. That is as big a nono as.... Real person....

I for one would LOVE to have a emoticon that flips people off. Then I would not have to worry about the nice little PM I never send.

My throat is dry. May I ahve a drink???[/quote]

[DarkElfChilde]

I know I made myself my own thread...but...


wait, what was I coming in here for? Ooops. Okay...uhm.


Hi!


I'll bbl when I'm more awake...


- DEC