[SpaceWeavil]

OK, I am starting this thread on the orders of the great and powerful Ghetto. Basically this is a wee game for you all. What you do is you provide some items and a situation, and the next poster has to find away to use the items to achieve the desired goal. That poster then provides another set of items, and another objective, and so on and so forth.

For instance, here is the first one;


You have a coathanger and a can of Spam. How do you slay the dragon?

[ghettoelleth]

Naturally, I would lure the dragon with the....coat hanger.

Everyone knows that not even a disgusting dragon will really eat Spam. Dragons like shiny stuff so i polish the coat hanger to a high glossy shine and set it at the bottom of the highest cliff. Then, I lie in wait at the edge of the cliff and when the dragon comes close to peer over and look at the shiny thing, I toss the slimy aspic covered spam under his feet and he slips and falls over the edge to his death.

Okay, you have a Holocaust cloak, a wheel barrow and a nail file. How will you rescue Maedhros?

[Haleth]

First of all I would climb the cliff and lower the Holocaust cloak over the edge so that Maedhros could grab it.

Next, I'd park the wheelbarrow directly beneath him.

Then I'd march to the front door of Thangorodrim and sit down on a rock. Once I made myself comfortable, I'd take out the nail file and start filing my nails.

Now the balrogs, wondering if I was very powerful or just utterly insane, would be lured out to see what I was doing.

Once there was a crowd, I'd explain the concept of nailcare and manicures, brandish the nailfile and ask, in my best innocent voice, who'd like to be first.

This would immediately result in an argument as fallen Maiar tend to be bad tempered as well as competitive.

Before the altercation escalated to violence, I'd suggest a contest. Whichever balrog is best with the whip gets to go first.

Unfortunately, balrogs can get a little carried away. In the midst of their melee, one of the whips catches the nailfile and sends it skywards so that Maedhros catches it..the file...not the whip. He picks the lock of the band holding him to the cliff-face and, holding the cloak like a parachute, drifts down to earth on the hot air currents raised by the flaming whips. In the meantime, I push the wheelbarrow back and forth trying to catch him, all the while dodging the balrogs, who have now been joined by several trolls, a small battalion of orcs and one confused baby dragon.

Maedhros lands in the wheelbarrow with the cloak over him. I push the wheelbarrow away before Morgoth comes out to see what all the noise it about.

NB. She probably doesn't want to be associated with this, but Maedhros rescuing himself was Space's idea.

Next challenge;

You have a lantern, a short piece of rope and some cram (dwarven travelling bread). Fix the bridge in Moria.

[Texasgirl]

as we all know, cram is the spam of m-e...in other words, you can use any damn way you want.

so, i will break the cram into itty-bitty bits, and lay these bits on the rock. these bits will form a pathway 1 foot wide, and strech all the way across to the other side.

then, using the lantern, i will crisp the bits so they all stick together like a board, then lay it across the gap.

BUT IN THE CASE OF A BREAK IN THE BRIDGE:
one small person wil go over first with the rope, than throw the rope back to the other person when they are half way across.

they will move so that the little person has crossed the chasam, at which point the bridge breaks because of all the stress.

but because the person on the other side is holding onto the rope, he can be pulled up to saftey.

you have a whistle, a smiley face, and a skirt.
save haldir from dying.

[Eruanna]

[ghettoelleth]

--Eru, who feels like an idiot now

Oh please don't. I Love what you did with the smiley face. Too funny girl. This game has had me cracking up all day long.

[Yavanie]

Eruanna, ditto, loved it, can't stop laughing at the whole thread so far!!

Thanks, Space, this is making my day!!

[ghettoelleth]

LMAO! How long have you been waiting to do that

[ellisk]

That was great Eruanna!

[Texasgirl]

hell yes!

loved the gauzy healer's skirt.....

[Rocheron]

OK here's my attempt.


Upon finding the apples, the senior warden proceeds to the old Malorn tree at the edge of Lorien. Using the hithlain he lassos a low branch and proceeds to climb the tree. Nearing the top he finds some new growth branches, lashes them together forming a makeshift flet.

When an un-suspecting new warden on patrol nears, he prepares his makeshift sling from the handkercheif and bombards the warden with apples. The new warden not knowing where the apples are coming from retreats into the forest only to be pelted with more apples.


Next:

Location: Dunharrow encapement.
Mission: Ease the anxieties of a Rhohirrim warrior using duct-tape, a pocket knife, and a flask of Dorwinion wine.

[mistressofbucklebury]

Oh that one's just begging to be answered....

It's easy use the flask of Dorwinion wine to get the young warrior completely legless (I know he can probably hold his drink but this stuff is pretty strong!).

Once incapacitated drag said warrior to his bed and tie him down securely using the duct tape (do they even have duct tape in M-E???).

Next you have the difficult task of rousing the very inebriated young fellow... you could slapp him round the face in true Hollywood style, or alternatively you could just chuck the dregs of the wine flask all over him.

Finally once he is awake and aware of what's going on around him use the pocket knife to (carefully!) cut off all of his clothes (and maybe yours too ). He might get a bit more anxious at first but I guarentee by the time your both naked he'll be feeling much better!!

*********

Next Challenge: How to subdue a Barrow-wight using only a half eaten bag of mushrooms, a frying pan and a pack of Post-It notes....

[Rocheron]

[Eruanna]

[ghettoelleth]

Next Challenge: How to subdue a Barrow-wight using only a half eaten bag of mushrooms, a frying pan and a pack of Post-It notes....
_________________
MoB


Okay, armed with the frying pan I stand very very still til a pigeon flies by, I smack the pigeon with the frying pan, stunning him into submission. I then write out a post-it note, requesting aid, smack it on the pigeon's ass, revive the pigeon with nutritious and delcious mushrooms and, once coherent, send the little guy off to Tom Bombadil's house. The Barrow Wight and I then commence with playing a few good rounds of naked twister until Tom arrives to save the day.
Next Challenge:
A condom (ribbed for her pleasure) a can of Fix-A-Flat, a dog-earred copy of Women's Wear Daily and 6 cotton balls.

Save Boromir