[Alassante]

I was trying to do something fun on the forum and thought of Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck if...." For those of you not familar with his jokes - here are some examples and a link to a website: http://www.mule.wtcsites.com/

[inglor]

You might be obsessed with Tolkien if you can name all the High Kings of the Noldor but can't remember the name of your sister's husband

You might be obsessed with Tolkien if you argue about who Gil-Galad's father is but do not know enough about politics to say anything but "war is bad"

You might be obsessed with Tolkien if you know that Tuor was the only Man to be numbered among the Eldar yet cann0ot place Kansas on the map of the US (this applies to Americans only)

You might be obsessed with Tolkien if you write two or more of these


Inglor (see sig)

[Rhapsody]

You might be addicted to Tolkien when you start to think that you have to peel the taters and look bewildered when they want sushi instead.

You might be addicted to Tolkien if you know The LoTR history better then your family history.

You might be addicted to Tolkien if you know Sindarin/Quenya better then English (or your own mother tongue).

[Eruanna]

This is great...let's keep it going!

You might be obsessed with Tolkien if:

...you have a collection of little plastic dolls from the movie trilogy in a glass doll curio cabinet. Your children are forbidden to touch them.

...you have spent some serious investment cash in the more pricey figurines.

...you critiqued the hair colours of the characters in the movie trilogy.

...you laughed at the five o'clock shadows on the faces of the movie Celeborn and Haldir.

...you own all of the editions of the History of Middle-earth...and can reference what and where to find something!

..you wonder which actors will be cast if they even did a movie of "The Silmarillion."

This last one might make an interesting thread by itself...

--Eruanna, popping in from real life

[NeumeIndil]

-- your family/ friends refuse to play LotR Trivial Pursuit with you any more because you make fun of them for missing easy questions, like the name of the ruins on Weathertop where Frodo and co. camp for the night. (Not sure if that's really a question in the game; my copy is still in the shrink wrap. Guess that might count too.)

-- your cat's name is Beruthiel: bonus points if she's all black with one white spot and always looks at you as if to say "I know what you just did".

-- you know what "Dog nightingale woodpecker 40" means and crack up when you see, hear or say it.

-- you like to tick people off by pointing out similarities in mechanics, grammar, etc. between C.S. Lewis works and Tolkien's and slip in how lucky Lewis was to have someone like Tolkien for a beta reader. (Maybe academic circles only.)

-- you call Tolkien "The Professor" and are surprised when people don't know which professor you mean.

-- you have audio files on your hard drive of The Professor reading parts of his masterpieces aloud, and listen to them on rainy afternoons/evenings with a nice cup of cocoa or glass of wine.

--you were really bummed that Tom Bombadil and Goldberry or the Barrow Downs didn't even get a mention in the P.J. movies [<-- insert favorite movie omission or change here] and thought seriously about writing a strongly worded letter.

-- you are greeted at any Halloween/costume party with the words, "So which elf are you this time?"

(These next three could count as "fan fic writer" specific.)

--your entire home library consists of The Silmarillion, The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, PoME, the HoME series, JEA Tyler's Complete Tolkien Companion and a Quenya, Sindarin, or Old English dictionary or two. Anything else you'd need to read is linked in your favorites file or saved as PDF on your hard drive.

-- your entire home library (see inventory above) lives on the desk next to your computer and you get nervous if someone goes near them with a beverage.

-- you curse at your dictionary or computer because you cannot find the Sindarin, Quenya, Old English, etc. word for "sister", but accidentally stumble across the one for "panties" and write it down on a sticky note, just in case you need it later.

Great idea, Al. This is too fun.

[NancyBrooke]

I am just laughing all the way to my therapist!

[Alassante]

[NeumeIndil]

Thought of another one:

You might be obsessed with Tolkien if.... you think if someone had just hugged Smeagol at the right moment, the end of the 3rd age would have gone so much smoother.

[Rhapsody]

[Silvae]

You might be a Tolkien addict if you spend your date discussing the possible repercussions of the first Council of the Wise. (no actually, it's not you 'might'. It's you are.)

Silvae

Edit : Just literally found another one :
You might be a Tolkien addict if you grate out 'Valar!' when you stub your toe.

[Yavanie]

Or you might be addicted if you actually considered naming you kids from Tolkiens works (but then if the movies hadn't happened when they did, I might really have because then they would still have been unique).

YOu might be addicted if you dress you children (and yourself) in Tolkien inspired costumes.......


You might be a Tolkien Geek if you design you own jewelry based on the Professor's descriptions (Yes Ro, I'm working on you ring).


oh, this could just go on and on.....

[SilverMoonLady]

You might be a Tolkien addict if...

- your children ask for "second breakfast" instead of "snack", and try to explain "elevenses" to befuddled in-laws

- said children exclaim, loudly and publicly, "I'm a hungry hobbit!" whenever they ask for seconds...

- you wander very very slowly down the right aisle in the toy store, trying to appear *not* to stare avidly at LotR related goodies

And just for fanfic writers:

- your spouse proposes killing off your fave character every time you moan that no one is reading your stuff... "That'll add excitement, honey!"

[Shanalir]

You might be a Tolkien addict if you mention The Trilogy and are shocked when someone asks "Which Trilogy?"

[AngmarianRose]

hahahaha. theses are great!!!!! here are some of mine

You might be addicted to Tolkien if....... you can map out Frodo's journey to Mount Doom, but you repeatedly get lost going to Starbucks!

You might be addicted to Tolkien if......you get so mad at someone that you start yelling at them in Elvish or Dwarvish (i actually did this once. i was so mad at my brother that i slipped from english curse words right into Elvish ones. he was very confused!)

You might be a Tolkien addict if.....you thought that Sauron getting laid a little more often might have made him less inclined to kill and enslave everyone in middle earth (think about it people)

hope you liked 'em

[NeumeIndil]