[Maeluiril]

I was bitten by a bunny and started writing a story, a very long story! It is Haldir/ofc nc-17 eventually. I have written a story before but this would only be my second story. I have much of it written but there is still more to go.

I would like someone who is dedicated as I want to finish this story. It is my hope to have the same person with me for the entire journey. Also I want someone who likes Haldir as much as I do. As he is going to be one of the main characters.

My main problems at the moment are some continuity stuff and what direction to go. Help would be greatly appreciated! I have put the first few chapters up so you can look and see if it would be something you would be interested in. The story I need help with is called Duplicity. The url is the following:

http://www.geocities.com/maeluiril

There is a link to my other story as well so you can check out my writing style. I hope someone can answer this and we can work together! You can pm me or e-mail me at maeluiril@buckeye-express.com.

Maeluiril

[owleyed]

Okay mellon, this is what I've got from your story: It's got potential. I love your humour so keep it in your fic. I think you should add some reasons in upcoming chapters why many members of the Fellowship dislike or distrust Jessica. Keep your fic the same way but there are a few typos, for example in some of your sentences with Majesty in it, you used a lower case 'm', be careful of that. Have slightly more interaction between Jessica and the Fellowship. What do they say when they're as a group together? Have a human side to Majesty, she has to have some good in her even though she's a bitchy character. Not all bitchy people are bitchy all the time. Sometimes they have a good side to them as well...you just need to lighten that a bit, Jessica is a great character. I suggest you change her in some way to make her seem less aloof in upcoming chapters. She's a character people will love more if she does interact with the rest of the Fellowship and not being dissed all the time. These are just suggestions, please don't take them to heart and hope you know that I enjoyed your fic. Keep up the great work!

- Owl -