[Scribe]

Okay there has been way to much tension on this forum lately, so let's do something fun. Here's a way for no one's dignity to remain unscathed so that will prevent anyone person from taking the moral highground.

What was the absolute worst thing you've ever written?

Come on, we all have plotbunnies that occassionally have to be neutered. Fess up, this is the place to get that all out in the open and have a good laugh at the same time.

What's that you say? I have to go first? Oy..okay. Mine was a SW story with Han and Leia fighting Jabba the Hutt's younger brother who was kind of pissed that he was killed and hires a bounty hunter to go after them. It has some crappiness about Leia attempting to use the force, Luke getting it on with the extremely and I extremely sueish bounty hunter and a basic missmash of scenes I saw in the first two films. Oh there was no sex because I was 12 and sex to me during that time that period after my mum would say....GO TO YOUR ROOM....with every raunchy scene that came on while we were watching tv or video. Suffice to say when 9 and 1/2 weeks came out with Basinger and Rourke, I saw only two weeks of the film. The rest was spent in my room. Thank god I find ways around it

I did a whole bunch of stories like this and then there was were my V stories where I wrote what was clearly a self insertion character fighting the aliens even though she was 14 . I recently found these treasures in the garage and decided for the sake of humanity, they must be destroyed.

Okay who's next and don't chicken out and say you've never written one. ...we all have.

[Viv]

My first fanfic was also Star Wars. It was fairly light on plot: Luke and Leia went on a date. Of course, then Jedi came out and I realized they were siblings and ripped up the Big Chief tablet I'd written the fic on.

That was a little while ago.

After that, I wrote an X-Files/Pinky and the Brain crossover. Um, just don't ask.

More recently, my first LoTRfic was a wild Mary Sue about Lego's sister, who is also half-Maia and is always trying to catch up to the fellowship. Oh, and she's engaged to Elrohir. And uses magic.

It's pretty much a study in how not to write OFCs.

I'm rewriting the thing, because there are (a few) nice scenes. But if you want to see it in all it's hideous Sueness, it's here. (Anyone have any suggestions for the rewrite, feel free to message me.)

[JennnLee]

Well, I started writing when I was six years old. My mother still has one of the books I wrote, which was made out of a few pieces of looseleaf paper stapled together in the middle and then written on. My favorite one from that era was a short story about a little girl named Dorothy who lived in Kansas with her Uncle Henery (sic), her Aunt Em and her dog Toto. One day there was a cyclone. But this was a different cyclone and she made it to the cellar in time. The End. So I guess that could count as my first fanfic?

Then when I was about 12, my best friend at the time and I were going to write a best-selling fantasy novel based on the characters we created on her Wizardry computer game (we're talking 1984 here, and the dawn of adventure games on computers). We wrote a good 150 pages before we realized that we had no plot, these people were just randomly wandering around getting into fights. The highlight of one of these fights was the thief sneaking up behind a bad guy and cutting his legs off at the knee. With a dagger.

At the ripe old age of 31, I'm hoping that my writing's gotten a little better. I play with fanfic as writing practice; writing in the Mummy fandom was the first time I worked out a cohesive plot and followed it through to the end. Right now I have the first draft of what I hope will be my first novel done, and I'm slaving away on the rewrite, when I'm not househunting or helping my boss get ready for trial. I actually believe that writing all that lousy stuff helps in the long run, because the more you write, the more you improve...

[Roisin]

Viv, when I clicked on that link it caused my whole computer to freeze up. Now I'm skeered to read the story.

LOTR is my first foray into writing fanfic, but I do remember a poem I wrote for English class in fifth grade, entitled "Creature of Darkness." It was about the Loch Ness Monster. It began, "Somewhere in the briny deep/where fishes swim and lobsters creep."



But as I recall, I was the only one who could write a rhyming poem.

Roisin

[Hathor]

I went through a biiiiig phase of songfics when I was but a newbie in the Stargate fandom, and all of 13 years old. I found them again recently, and just thought "WTF was I on?" They were sappy, silly, OOC, had no plot, and generally sucked.

Oh dear.

Still, I know for a fact that in about two years time, when I finish off on my English Language course for A-Level, I'll look back at the stuff I've written now and think That's what I like about my writing at the moment- it's always evolving! Or so I hope, anyway.

[Moralanqua]

Viv - i really liked that fic! Please dont bin it... I cant wait for the rewrites!


My first real trashy fic was roughly based on Brett the Hitman Hart in a RP ficlet set in Beverly Hills... It was dire.

I ended up taking the idea and turning it into the basis of a novel - just not with the wrestler!

I still believe that there is no such thing as a bad idea. Well... except for the genius who thought pairing up Lurtz and Treebeard was 'romantic'///

[Roisin]

I don't know, I think Legolas and Bill the Pony might have been an unredeemably bad idea.

I mean, I know Elves love animals and all, but c'mon...

Roisin

[Moralanqua]

Thats horrible! Traumatised - i want my mommy!

I wondered - has anyone ever written a fic that had an awful pairing that just didnt work? (wrestlers and teenagers being one)

Go on, admit it! Whats the worst thing you've ever written that had the worlds nastiest pairing?

Im hoping no one admits to Jabba and Warrick the ewok..

[JennnLee]

[Haleth]

Fortunately, the worst thing I've ever written was never made public.

The basic ideas aren't bad, but the overall execution is pure drek.

It could be a classic example of how not to write a fan fic. After looking at it for the first time in about a year, I've got to wonder what was being put in the water.

[EveningNightshade]

Oh boy.... I'm ashamed to admit to some of this stuff....

My first ever fan fic (thankfully read by only me) was a Pokemon story featuring (you've guessed it) a blatant self-insertation. I found it the other day when I was cleaning about my desk. Suffice to say, I shreded it immeadiatly.

I also found some old Goosebump-style horror stories I'd written. Oi, they were bad! Wouldn't even have scared a five-year-old. And don't even get me started on how bad the characters were.

Heading back into lurkdom before I humilate myself further...

(Edited by Rob. Don't post using colours unless you really need it as it doesn't show well on both colour schemes. If you hate the colour schemes, let us know. Thanks.)

[Haleth]

We've all got to start somewhere, Evening NIghtshade.

Very few people can just sit down and write a masterpiece on their very first attempt.

[Roisin]

Even Jane Austen wrote crap at first. They call it "juvenalia"

Roisin

[Dragon]

Most of my early early fanfic was thoughts with little bits written down on paper. I was very very young at the time. Very...

I think one of the worst ones was where Haldir was actually Aragorn's son, only I think I'd got confused with the Arwen bit (or maybe I hadn't got there yet), and he loved Arwen. And they had children. And chased black riders. Thankfully I don't remember that much and I've long thrown out the hard evidence.

Then there was 'Man from Uncle' stuff. It was showing on Saturday mornings when I was about nine and I had the biggest crush on Ilya Kuryakin.

I think I might shut up now.

[Scribe]