[Moralanqua]

(sorry if this is not the correct place for this)

I have recently been humbled by an in depth review for a fic by a published author. Unfortunately, some of the points made have been contradicted by another reviewer - an editor.

I am now very confused and am wondering-

Are the english writing techniques different in America and Britain?

Sentances that were critisised by my American reviewer were contradicted by my British editor.

How can this be?

Is it possible for a few of the more experienced writers/persons on this site to help out those of us with no grasp of dangling participles? (that does sound pervy )

Perhaps by analyasing a para from random (volunteered) fics?

What do you think? I hoped something like this would help fiction writing development. Certainly my own.

[Hathor]

[Moralanqua]

Actually, im Scottish.

I have a degree in english and i was confident that i knew how to construct a sentance. This review has knocked my confidence into the mud and because the points were contradicted, i have no idea how to resolve my writing flaws.

Im gutted.

The BBC website will help, thanks petal.

[NancyBrooke]

[NancyBrooke]

[quote="Hathor]Yes, there's British swearing, which is why I find some American TV hysterical in that the phrases some 'stereotypical' Brits come out with you just couldn't say on national telly before 9.00 over here... ahem. (Think the Buffy episode Tabula Rosa: "Buggar, arse, wanker... oh god, I'm English too!")[/quote]

Yeah, I've noticed that, too! And add 'sod' to the list. I often wonder if the censors just assume we American's don't really know what those words mean. The writers must be laughing all the way to the pub. Once on Buffy a cigarette was referred to as a 'fag' but that was explained almost immediately after so that was acceptable, I guess. Saw an interview with Liz Hurley where she went on about the word "shag" - as in 'the Spy Who Shagged Me' - and how that was something quite risque in England where in America she thought we just didn't really get it. Very funny and strange.

[Moralanqua]

These were good suggestions - thanks.

But it wasnt spelling, punctuation etc she slated me for - it was my grasp of the english language.

I thought that her points were fair and valid until i recieved contradictions to her opinions from a British editor.

Who should i listen to? I want to take the advice they gave me to better my skill, but how can i do that when they dont agree with where my flaws are?

I think i wish they had both just sent me a "U suk" flame instead. My pals all rallied around to lend their opinions but they are biased so it has really been great to get the ideas from this group - who dont know me and have no reason to lie.

Thanks guys!

[Roisin]

Can you give an example of what the person was criticizing?


Roisin

[Moralanqua]

Sure:

**He held her hand up to the bay mare’s velvet nose
and watched her stroke the animal in awe.**

Watch your dangling participles...who is in awe
here...the elf or the girl? Certainly not the animal.

The Brit ed disagreed. Said it was printable as was.

**The horse shuffled restlessly on the hay-strewn
ground within the stables while a groom tacked her
with reins and bridle.**

Confusing adverbs and adjectives. Dangling again,
also incorrect use of passive verb...followed right
after the girl touching the mare, who is getting
tacked? The girl or the mare??

Stronger sentence would be:

"Within the hay-strewn stables, the horse shuffled
restlessly, while a groom tacked her with reins and
bridle."


Brit ed disagreed , said the 'suggested sentance' was not appropriate (although constructed correctly). She said the tense made it impassive.


(these comments were in relation to an NC17 fic called Ballads here on OS. I cant really show any more )

I was delighted with the in depth critique! I thought this was really going to help me identify my weak spots and technique flaws. Unfortunately, sections that are picked apart by one reviewer are then let go by another.

The published author had more comments but they were not repeatable and were mainly patronising and pretentious.

I cant tell if she was being unduly harsh or if my ed was being too lenient? Perhaps there is a diff in what grammer is taught in one country?

[NancyBrooke]

Oops! sorry we all jumped in the wrong direction there ... your examples are helpful. I now have come to the considered opinion that the pub'd author had (her) Strunk & White up (her) arse (meaning no disrespect to S&W).

[Hathor]

[Roisin]

OK, in the first sentence, just to make it clear, I would have said "watched in awe while she stroked the animal." That way you know who's in awe.

And I agree in the second example that I would take out "in the stables."

But then my style of writing is to write and then mark out half of what I wrote...YMMV.

If the published author was patronizing and pretentious, I wouldn't worry too much about her opinion. For one thing, I've seen published fiction that was utter crap, so being published is no guarantee of brilliant writing.

Roisin

[dolarabee]

[Robbie]

[miriel361]

First, I have to agree with the published author about the hanging participles. I know the problem because I do it myself - all the time. When we are reading a story, we generally pass them over, but yes, they could be read the wrong way and therefore need to be clarified. Everything we write should have only one possible meaning unless we intentionally want it to have two - i.e. a pun.

Secondly - what has he / she published? Let's not immediately hold her/ him in awe here. Likewise - the editor - what is his/ her speciality?

Thirdly, be flattered that they took the time to help you. From experience, we know that most people don't write more than a sentence. IT'S A COMPLIMENT, that they thought you good enough to review.

Fourthly, English and American English are different, very different and the example i would like to cite is the loss of correct adverb use in America. He did it good, he played the music loud etc.

Finally, when all is said and done - the best advice I could give you is 'Learn all the rules, then throw out the ones you don't like and develop your own style!'

My grammar isn't perfect either although I have a post graduate degree in second language teaching in addition to two bachelors and a collection of other sundry qualifications.

Oh and when I worked at an accountant's office, the girls would line up to ask the new American trainees whether or not they could borrow a rubber (eraser). Amazing how many shades of red a man can turn.

[Roisin]