[Andreth]

I need some sex advice, or writing about it anyway, and I needed some opinions from my illustrious peers, please. I can't remember if I asked about this here before, or at another writer's forum I used to belong to, so I'm sorry if this is a repeat.

I had a reviewer call to my attention the overuse of simultaneous orgasm in sex scenes, which I was glad she'd pointed out because I don't want to write just generic, run of the mill sex scenes, but I'm not having any luck thinking of alternatives to simultaneous orgasms that would still be interesting. To be honest, I use it because I'm lazy and it's an easy way to wrap up a sex scene, so to speak.

So how realistic is the use of simultaneous orgasm in sex scenes and does anybody have some alternative suggestions? Would a sex scene seem unsatisfying to a reader if only one character had an orgasm and the other one didn't?

I've got a sex scene that I'm getting ready to write that will be a first experience for both parties involved, although both parties are no spring chickens, as far as immortals go. Do you think they'd both orgasm? Would just the male and not the female? Wouldn't he be kind of antsy and not last very long? Or would it make a difference if it was a half-Elf male as opposed to a full Elf male?

Help?!

[SilverMoonLady]

I think I heard sex once described as this sort of "This is for you, and that move is for me" and so on kind of strange back and forth dance on stimulating each party in turn... do it fast and well enough and everybody goes home a winner....
However, I can tell you that from my own experience (neither a virgin nor a whore) that simultaneous orgasms are indeed a lovely infrequent experience. A considerate male lover will usually get the gal going first before loosing his own.. momentum, shall we say. In a long term, day-in-day-out relationship there are indeed times where, "ok, I'm tired, don't worry about getting me there, you just go." happens, on either end....
That's not to say that simultaneous Os are rare, they just don't happen all the time. They happen more when the partners know each other well (less guessing), and there are more one right after the others.
I think a one-sided O can work if done right. Framed with the right dialogue/story, it can be very romantic. It can set up expectations or even tensions... It's a good excuse for a second go-round
As always, finding a new way to describe such a wonderful yet frequent thing is the trick.. I'm confident you'll do it:)

[inglor]

Hmmm...
Realistic?:
Sometimes me first sometimes her first, rarely at the same time. Sometimes my orgasm sets hers off and vice verse, usually how it happens. I have to do extra credit work when I finish before she does.

In a situation where the male is an elf and considering the control Elves have over their bodies, I would assume that both would have an orgasm. If the male let the female orgasm first then that might make sense, since he does not know her body that well. But him Finishing before her and him being an elf might set up some REAL angst/animosity. (you've read my thoughts on that.)

Or... her having multiples during one long session before he has one ( had only one girlfriend that could do that though. She could have an orgasm if the wind blew right. She wasn't all that experienced or skilled, just very sensitive. I hope this isn't TMI, I'm just trying to qualify my opinions )

IMHO a sexy uncommon scene would be, but the male must be experienced (IMO): have him bring her off more than once via copulation before he climaxes, resting between bouts. Male has to be in a different frame of mind, almost on a mission... it's all about her, much more than normal. Female has to be comfortably and willingly selfish, has to let him do his work, so to speak. Not a dominance thing but more like oral sex, the male is doing this for her as a gift or whatever and his enjoyment is derived from hers. Only after she is completely warm and fuzzy does he let go.
As a male, I find this gratifying to read and I would think female readers would too

SML is right about the one sided O, If it is set up right it can be... warm and fuzzy

The tired thing... also not unknown to me... Though while nice, is not as satisfying, no matter who gets the O.



Inglor

[SilverMoonLady]

[inglor]

[BittenBuggy]

*Smites Inglor* Okay, I feel better.

Andreth, I can sympathize with your problem. Elvish sex scenes (when you're actually trying to stick to canon/be realistic) are difficult. Nerdanel and Feanor are having problems...

Simultaneous orgasms - They are nice, and convienant for both parties

Multiple orgasms - Yes please But really, they are supposedly quite difficult for some women to obtain But definately not unrealistic, especially if both parties are... enthusiastic

Only one gets the O - *snickers* I will admit to being especially selfish, even more so while being pumpkin-chick. However, there are times when one of you just wants relief and you can tell them to shut up and go to sleep, then have the bed jiggle for the next 5 minutes, or you can help them out (sometimes for a much briefer period of time) I'm sure somebody can manage to make it fuzzy and sweet. Just not me

[End BB-thoughts]

[inglor]

Now what did I do? (A phrase I'm quite well acquainted with)

[BittenBuggy]

What a blokey thing to say

[Yavanie]

Inglor wrote:

[Aerin]

Strictly as a reader, I kind of view SO to be as you said, a lazy way to finish up a love scene, I can't honestly remember a time when my Hubby and I have gone off at the same time, mostly because as Jeff Foxworthy so delicately explains it, "women are like Diesel enginges, it takes awhile to get us warmed up, but once we're warm we can go a long long time" And I really dislike it when he goes before I do, and then tries to get out of making it up to me, really only happened the first few months of marriage then I let him know about it

Now comparing elves to diesel while a crude analogy, may be somewhat true. They have so much control, that they could excuse me "Come and go as they please."

For first time elf sex, I would think that they may not be shy, but playful. (Is the half elf thing a Sue ism? Just wondering) Funny to think that a person of 1000+ years could be doing anything for the first time...

How ever if you read Mora's fic, it is a great example of an its all for you moment. (legolas is a noble guy)

Just my thought

[sindohte]

[inglor]

Sind, I can't think of a more perfect couple...

I think Andreth had it right, I believe the SO is due in part to the laziness. And it is more "Fomantice" that way...
After writing all this great foreplay and in and out stuff you get to a point where you say "End it already". Writing a long love scene that doesn't get too drippy or repetitive is hard work, there are only so many synonyms for the word "thrust".

Inglor

[Thuriniel]

[JaneDoe]

[NancyBrooke]