Reviews for "For You"
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sindohte
Joined: 14 May 2003
Reviews: 157
Location: Rubbing up against an Elf
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Tue Jul 20, 2004 9:28 pm
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| I am always a sucker for a Legofic and will be interested to see where you take things with him and your OFC. I would caution you to not fall into the trap of turning your heroine into a MarySue. The reason I am bringing this up is because you spent a wee too much time describing Lintelossëwen to the point where it distracted from the rest of the chapter. |
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BittenBuggy
Joined: 27 Dec 2003
Reviews: 93
Location: Busy Being the Queen Of Everything.. And Trying to Catch the Yoda-Copter
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Wed Jul 21, 2004 6:25 pm
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Whoa, sorry - got a little distracted by the names, dearie. You might want a wee bit of assistance with name translations. 10-15 letter names are awkward and seem rather contrived. 
Otherwise, I am interested in this fic. I'll keep an eye on it!  |
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Viv
Joined: 25 Apr 2003
Reviews: 673
Location: Texas
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Thu Jul 22, 2004 11:56 am
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| Well, you've set up some interesting conflicts, and I'm looking forward to the rest of the story. It's clear you've put a lot of work into it so far. One thing that would add a lot of polish is to take a quick look at a map of Middle-earth. You can look it up on the Encyclopedia of Arda (just do a google search... it's a great site for basic info). Gondor is to the south; Bree is in the northwest, and you've written them just opposite. So far, that detail doesn't appear to be part of the plot, so it'd be easy to fix it. Thanks for posting, and good luck with the rest of the fic! |
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