Reviews for "For the Life that never was"

Wed Mar 09, 2005 12:23 pm

Intertesting start. I am interested to see where this goes. A first work? You're off to a good start. (and Yay! I'm the first to review!)

Fri Mar 11, 2005 12:50 am

I wouldn't have placed you as a first time author if you hadn't said it. You write very well. The story is off to a great start. I'm very intrigued. Please post more soon! Props! Bounce smiley face

Fri Mar 11, 2005 12:21 pm

The soft, wispy narrative voice, I think, is appropriate for a wood elf, a friend of the forest. I also liked how she talks with the trees and sometimes, for entertainment, ventures close enough to hear the chatter of humans. This rings true, characterizing her as both indelibly elven but also sort of a loner, separate from her people. "I turned and saw my brother looking down at me with concern." ... Is this a flashback? But I thought at the beginning, she said she had no memory of her siblings. Is this the "brother" who gave her the knives, the one who passed over the sea a long time ago?

"'They call me Elenna.' she said" ... OH! I get it now: the "I" in the second scene is not Elenna at all, but rather ... Haldir, maybe? It would clarify things to name him right away when the scene starts, I think.

Also, I think "paranoid" is a somehwat modern term. Perhaps "nervous" or "overly watchful"? I saw your note in the forum, so I'm confident that your beta will help iron out some of the verb tense stuff. But the piece itself is developing nicely. You have evoked a very clear elven feeling. I really like this story so far.

Mon Mar 14, 2005 2:16 am

I definitely like what you're doing with this. I'm going to be keeping my eyes peeled for the next chapter. Thank you for posting so quickly, and keep 'em coming! And again, Props! Wink smiley face

Mon Mar 14, 2005 4:48 pm

I like the elven atmosphere and the way Elenna and Haldir interrelate. So keep going and update soon!

Wed Mar 16, 2005 11:37 pm

Ooooooh, a fast poster you are! I like! And this chapter is just as intriguing as the last one! More, more! I'm on the edge of my seat! Props!

Sun Mar 20, 2005 12:58 am

I'm fascinated by this. Please continue with frequent updates. You have a wonderful writing style.

Thu Mar 24, 2005 1:22 pm

I've only just found and i think it is very good so far- so different which is a good thing i might have to add. Anyway i hope you post again soon Smile smiley face

Tue Mar 29, 2005 11:54 pm

Great chapter. Interesting concept, Elenna not knowing what love is. looking forward to the next installment.

Thu Mar 31, 2005 1:15 am

Your style is very refreshing. Great job! Post soon Smile smiley face

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Reviews for "For the Life that never was"