Login

Lost Password?

Create New Account

Reviews for "Death's New Toy"

You must be logged in to leave a review

AuthorReview
Shanalir
Joined: 27 Feb 2005
Reviews: 183
Location: Umm, anyone seen my map?
Thu Jul 21, 2005 10:05 am

Very interesting. A good idea for a story. I noticed a lot of spelling errors (such as "a lick fog," "wondered" where it should be "wandered," that kind of thing), and it all flowed more quickly than I usually prefer, but other than that, you have a good concept, a believable sequence of events and a nice tone to it all. Overall, good story.
 
View author's profile Send private message Send e-mail View author's profile on Yahoo
Rous

Joined: 20 Mar 2004
Reviews: 503
Location: Trying to stay below the radar
Tue Jul 11, 2006 9:48 pm

Caught this on the featured story. While this is nice, it is very A/U, which was your intention, just not my cup of tea. There are quite a few grammatical and spelling errors. Cleaned up, this would not be bad.
Thank you for sharing.

Rous
 
View author's profile Send private message Send e-mail View author's website View author's profile on Yahoo