Reviews for "Of storks and elflings"
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Frostfire613
Joined: 17 Mar 2015 Reviews: 1
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Fri Mar 20, 2015 11:10 pm
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| This was a very cute story! The only things I would change is perhaps the use of slang language. When they were explaining the manners of sex to Fanarille, I thought that it would be batter if you had used actual medical terms instead of the slang terms. Like sex instead of F***ing, penis instead of member, and so forth. Other than that, you just to space out your paragraphs and dialogue speech and everything would be great! |
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