Reviews for "The Ties That Bind Us"

Thu Apr 21, 2005 1:20 pm

Dear Shana,

Over five hundred hits and not a single review. That's rather annoying isn't it. And since I know that feeling myself, I thought I'd leave a few words.

I loved your introduction - very humourous. That, more than anything showed your personal voice.

And to the story itself. I'm afraid I only read the first chapter and not because I felt you couldn't write. On the contrary, I think you can write very well. I stopped reading because I personally couldn't imagine an elf raping someone.

Some things I would like to see: slow down a little. Show us how your character is feeling, don't tell us i.e. not 'she got nervous' but rather, 'the palms of her hand were sweaty and she wiped them on the legs of her jeans; she tried to speak but her voice failed and she was forced to swallow before she tried again.'

And do, do keep writing. You have a lot of promise.

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Reviews for "The Ties That Bind Us"