Butterfly- Chrysalis

The darkness was smothering. Thoughts were drawn back to the pain, the overpowering pain that had permeated her being. She was dead and this was the punishment for turning her back on her mother’s people. That was the only explanation. But, what of Haldir? He surely would not follow her. He had promised, as had she.

The pain became unbearable. It was everywhere. Her skin felt like fire. Even her hair hurt. Wait, if she was in pain, could she be dead? No, no. That could not be. Unless, was she lost, between Arda and…and…The thought was gone. No, she was not dead, just lost, lost in an impenetrable night that contained no stars. No moon. No light.

However, the pain was subsiding. The blanket of dark seemed to be lightening, allowing her to breathe easier. There was a buzzing in her ears that slowly clarified into singing. A soft and low voice. A male voice. A coolness touched her forehead as she slowly drifted off into a normal sleep.

~*~*~*~*~

Haldir watched the change in her, from troubled fits to a calming rest. He took his eyes from her long enough to nod to Glordinel. Drawn back to her, he noticed the slight colour returning to her skin. He shifted slightly to allow her mentor to examine her.

“She is improving. I do not know what the Lady did, but it worked. I will stay with her. You go and stretch your legs. Walk as far as the gardens and ask the Lady to come.” Glordinel stood staring at Haldir, who balked at leaving. “You will do her no good if are exhausted. Now, go walk in the sunlight. And, bring me some of Gariel’s stew. I am hungry.” The twinkle in his eye moved Haldir more than anything the healer said.

“I will go, but only because you force me.” He hesitated. “You will find me if needed?”

“Do you doubt it?” Glordinel answered, with a smile. “Now go. Do not forget my food.”

Haldir turned, not appreciating the humour. At the moment, the only thing that could lift his spirits was Ela waking.

The last two days had been hard on him. Not since his mother’s passing had he felt such a loss. Then, he had
had two small brothers to care for, not an easy task when he was just barely past puberty himself. Now, he had some
understanding of what had caused her to follow her husband after he was killed. He did not like letting go of the anger
and hurt, but maybe it was time. He swore softly. He had undergone more changes since meeting the troublesome
child, and now, he was wedding her. How his father would laugh at him, always chiding his seriousness.

The thought of his father brought a slight smile. Yes, it was getting easier to remember them, without the
bitterness. His father, a warden, but not inclined to wander, as did his son. Tall and fair, with a crinkle about the eyes
from much laughter, he had been prone to silly stories to amuse his children. And, his mother, just as tall, her beauty
was legendary. He had heard that only Arwen outshined her. She had had a gentle way about her, and a habit of
cocking her head, just as Ela did.

As he thought upon it, he realized that Ela was very like his mother: fair looking, a great sense of propriety, a
casual sense of humour. Why had he not seen it before?

Hurrying on his errand, he stopped at his brother’s house. Getting the stew that Gariel had waiting, he returned
to Glordinel’s offices. Not finding the healer, he went into the back where Ela was resting. Setting down the bowl, he
glanced at the older man.

“Is there any change?”

Glordinel looked up. “She is resting easier. It may not be long, now.”

Haldir nodded. “I will return. I have to speak to my brother.”

“Go, then. You will find me here when you return.”

Looking once more to the figure on the bed, Haldir reached out and brushed her forehead. It felt warmer, more
alive than two days ago. Nodding to Glordinel, he went in search of Orophin.



~*~*~*~*~



The quick pace of the wardens brought Haldir to the eastern marches in a short time. Checking with Celedien, he
found his brother at the small archery range, working with a couple of younger wardens. Seeing his older brother,
Orophin finished up and walked over.

“How is Ela?” he asked. If Haldir was out here, then she must be better.

“She rests easier.” The uncharacteristic hesitation in his voice warned Orophin that Ela’s condition was not the
reason for the visit. He waited.

“I want to talk to you about our mother.” The words surprised Orophin. Haldir had never wanted to talk about
their parents.

“You have seen it, then? The resemblance?”

Haldir started. “How did you know?”

Pausing, Orophin chose his words carefully. “She is much like our mother. Strong, dedicated and her own
beauty.”

“What do you remember of our mother?” Haldir’s voice carried only a trace of its former bitterness.

“I remember much about her. Her love of gardening; our garden was large, with flowers and plants everywhere.
There were books everywhere. And, she loved our father. It seems, more than life itself.”

“She did not love us enough to remain. What of that?”

Orophin, looking into his brother’s eyes saw something he had not seen often. “What do you fear?” he asked
softly.

Haldir jerked. Was that phrase to haunt him the rest of his life? “I am afraid. I fear that she will die. I fear that
she loves me so much she would leave our children. I fear she does not love me enough. I fear many things. Do you
not feel the same for Gariel?”

“No,” was the quick reply. “I have never doubted Gariel’s love. Moreover, she would not leave Aniron. Not even
to follow me. However, that does not mean she does not love me. You must learn to trust, brother. You cannot turn
back now just because you have fears. Do you think Ela would understand or accept? There was a hesitation. “This
is exactly what I was afraid would happen. You have been drawn to her, as she is to you. Fighting it will not make it
disappear. However, you must let what happened to our parents go. You are not our father, and she is not our
mother.” Orophin watched the painful emotions cloud Haldir’s eyes. “You cannot live with what might be. You must
accept life daily. And, you must trust your heart. If you feel this way, there is no doubt that there is love there, but you
cannot let second thoughts decide your actions.” He grinned. “Besides, I know how she likes to tweak your nerves. I
believe that you will be plagued for many years. Go. You need to be there when she wakens. It is not fair to make her
think you have deserted her.” He ducked the playful swing Haldir made.

“Very well. But, if things go awry, I am looking to you to fix them.”

“You do not need my help. You just do what you know in your heart is right, and things will work out as they
should. Now, go back to her. You have wasted too much time on this foolishness.”

“Thank you, brother,” was Haldir’s soft reply. The embrace he gave surprise Orophin, but was received with good
humour.

Orophin’s grin lasted until his brother left. Frowning slightly, he shook his head. He had watched the relationship
between his small charge and his brother change over the years, not always liking what developed. He still had
reservations about them, but knew that Ela had been set on this course for a long time. However, he did not want to
contemplate the change in his relationship with Haldir if Ela was hurt.

Shaking his head once more, he questioned the events life handed out that made one doubt loyalties.



~*~*~*~*~*~





The darkness seemed to be lightening up, once more. A vast pain in the nether regions of her body caused a
moment of concern, until she realized it was hunger…a great hunger. Wondering how long she had drifted in the
darkness, Ela found the strength to finally attempt to awaken. It was not easy; the warmth of the darkness was
comforting. The little girl’s pain had subsided, and then disappeared.

Concentrating, she thought she remembered the Lady, but that was impossible. Why would she travel all the way
to Spring Grove? No, that was a dream, surely. Wandering around in the darkness, Ela missed her cat. She was sure
that she had spoken to her father, but no, that would have been years ago. Where were the candles here? She was
getting tired of stumbling around in the dark.

Glancing up ahead, she saw a small twinkle of light. Approaching it, she found a small child. Hesitating, she
suspected that she did not really want to know who it was.

“Hello, my lady,” the child said, bowing.

“Hel…hello,” replied Ela, who could not help looking around for the Lady.

“No, I speak to you. You are well?”

“I think so. I feel better.” She took a moment to study the child. Small, with reddish-blond hair and bright blue
eyes, the girl was wearing a bright blue dress. The small sandals on her feet were woven from grasses that had grown
along a stream in a forest. Ela vaguely recalled a pair very much like them.

“They are yours,” said the girl, answering her unasked comment.

“How…? I know you. I know that dress.” Ela was confused. Had she been hit on the head again?

“You do. I am Cera. This is the dress Nana made for your sixth birthday. The sandals, Ada weaved himself. Not
very comfortable, they were his first attempt, but you did not take them off for a week. You never told him they hurt
your feet. Nana finally did, laughing at the two of us, playing a game.”

Ela said nothing, waiting to see what the child would do. She noticed the doorways down the hall. Each was one
of three colours, closed tightly. There was an ominous feeling seeping from under some of them. Others, she could
almost hear laughter. Returning her gaze to the child, Ela stood.

“You must go. You do not belong here yet. You are not ready. What you did to that child was not something you
should have done. There is so much that you need to learn. Do not push things. Trust your cousin to guide you. She
has great wisdom and can aid you.”

“Where is here?”

“I will not tell you that. It is not time. You will know when the time is right. Now, one awaits you. You have many
years before you need seek me out. Enjoy them. Learn, and live. Do not contemplate the future too deeply.”

“You are a strange child,” Ela commented.

“Many have said as much about you. You must go. It is time. And, my lady, do not bury your past too far. It is
not good to forget where you began.”

Ela felt herself pulled away from Cera. She gave into the urge to drift back. The girl slowly dwindled and the light
dimmed. Then, a pain as great as if someone had hit her in the chest struck. With a gasp, she awoke.



~*~*~*~*~*~



As Haldir walked back towards Glordinel’s, he felt a lurch in his chest. Running the rest of the way, he burst into
the low dark room where he had left Ela. His eyes focused on the empty bed, he did not see her. Frantic, he rushed to
the bed. He jerked at the light touch on his arm. Turning, he looked down into her smiling face.

“Why are you out of bed?” he demanded.

The smile faltered. “I have no need of it any longer. Why am I here?”

Glordinel chose that moment to walk into the room. Taking in the scene and hearing the confusion in Ela’s voice,
he moved to calm Haldir. Laying a gentle hand on his shoulder, he looked at Ela.

“You are feeling all right? he asked, checking her eyes and colour.

“I feel fine. Why am I here?” she asked again.

“What do you remember?” He manoeuvred her towards the bed.

“I remember the girl’s mother coming for me. She was not breathing, so I picked her up. That is all I recall,
excepting some very strange dreams. How long have I been here?” Her eyes clear and her colour returned, Glordinel
sighed, satisfied.

“You have been here in Lórien for two days. Haldir brought you back. Do you remember what you did?”

“I picked her up. Then….” A grimace flowed across her face. “There was pain, great pain. Then nothing, except
the dreams.”

“What were the dreams?” Haldir finally joined the conversation.

Her slight hesitation did not escape their notice. “I do not recall. I just know that I had them.”

Glordinel chose not to comment on her evasion. Haldir, taking his cue from the healer held back what he was
about to say.

“Can I go home, now?” she asked. “For some reason, this dark room depresses me. I would be out in the
sunlight, in the garden.”

Haldir looked to Glordinel.

“She appears recovered,“ he said to Haldir’s unasked question. “Just take things easy for today. If you are up to
it, I have an errand for you, in a few days. Meanwhile, go home and enjoy the garden.”

After a nod from Ela and Haldir both, Glordinel watched them leave, Ela’s hand tucked protectively in his arm.

They were long gone before Galadriel arrived to discuss the events with Glordinel.



~*~*~*~*~



After two days of him hovering over her, Ela decided it was time for him to go and see to his own duties, as she
had things to do herself. He was not happy, but he did see her point. He had neglected his responsibilities long
enough.

“When will Glordinel send you on your errand?” he asked her, while walking through the formal gardens his last
night in Caras Galadhon.

“In a couple of days. It is only to the western fences, to see how Gesel is fairing with that new plant of his. If it
takes root, it will mean a ready source of medicines that will aid in blood loss. It is chancy travelling so far east to
procure it. Legolas said that they lost another healer while searching out the herb.” She paused. “It is not a long ride, and I will be careful. That is why you hesitate to leave, is it not? Look,” she said, glancing at him. “I promised the Lady
and you that I would not do anything like that again. I do not intend to disregard my word. There is no expectation
that I would need to. You will find me at the southern wards when you arrive.”

Her hand rested lightly on his arm, as the thought of something happening to her rested heavy upon his heart.
The last week had frightened him more than anything else he had experienced since first knowing her. He laid his hand
over hers. The slight tingle of electricity shooting through him surprised him, as it always did.

“Very well, then. I will leave you in the capable hands of Gariel. She is, by far, a harder taskmaster than am I.”

“Do I not know it,” she replied, ruefully. “There is something about dealing with her that makes me want to
exercise caution. I love her dearly, but, she quite mothers one to death.”

He chuckled, having been on the receiving end of her ministrations. Yes, Gariel would keep an eye on Ela, as long
as she was in Caras Galadhon. Well, he had his own network, and they would do their part.

They walked in silence. Before either was aware of it, they had reached the small stream coursing through the
gardens. Taking a seat on one of the empty benches, they watched across the stream where a father was playing ball
with his son. There were faint shrieks of laughter from beyond the trees where a game of tag was being played.

Haldir broke the silence. “Have you found a suitable house?” He still shuddered slightly at the thought of living on
the ground.

“I believe that we will be quite happy in your talan until there is a need for a house. Rúmil has decided to move to
a smaller place, since he is not here much; and, he has no need for such a large place. Yet.” The lightness of her tone
and the laughter just below the surface caught his attention.

“What do you know that I do not?” he teased.

“Nothing that will come about for many years. It is just a feeling. I would not bore you with conjectures.” She
laughed outright at the slightly petulant look on his face. Reaching up with her hand, she lightly caressed his cheek.
His scowl faded as he leaned down and gently brushed her lips with his.

“I thought we had settled this,” she said, and proceeded to press in with more ardour.

He accepted what she offered and sat back, unsatisfied. Was it truly two more months they were to wait?
Suddenly, he wished she had given in to her desire to wed sooner. He stood up abruptly, glancing at the amused look
on her face. For one who was supposed to be un-knowledgeable in these matters, she certainly knew how to push
him.

Deciding to ignore her game, he turned back to his earlier question. “You are able to live in the talan, then?”

“If that is where you are, then yes, I am able. Not that I plan to spend much time there. I do not intend to sit
here in the city, bored, while you traipse the fences. So, I will be able to tolerate it.” She waited, anticipating his
reaction.

“Very well,” he said, surprising her. “It is not an easy life. You have had small tastes of it. It is more than your
two week stint.”

“Yes, well that went rather well.” She laughed. “If it is more boring than that, then I will be happy.”

He smiled at her. Sobering, he was silent for several minutes. Glancing at her half-closed eyes, he suddenly had
to ask.

“Why did you make the choice you did?” There was no need to clarify. She had known he would ask, eventually,
why she had turned down the Indrel, why she had chosen him.

“When I was a child, my mother spoke to me of her life. She did not want that for me. Marriages are made for
reasons of power or wealth, rarely for love. I would have been sold for what I could gain my grandfather. Not for coin,
but sold nonetheless. When my father talked of the ways of his people, I knew that I would never settle for what my
mother could have faced. Theirs was a marriage of love. There was never any doubt. He died for her, and she would
have done the same for him.” She paused. Smoothing the skirt of her dress, she looked back up into the trees.
“When Elrohir and Elladan found me, they did not know who or what I was. I had been cast out from the only people I
knew and left to die. They only saw a child in need, and saw to those needs. When Elrond took me in, he had no idea
I was his cousin. There again, there was no gain to him. Only a child in need. And, he saw to those needs. For many
years, I needed, and was aided. You were different. You saw something else. And, I think it coloured your reactions.
You have dwelled for so long within yourself, you did not see that a mere child was not the only one in need. I felt that
from the first time I met you. Your heart called to mine, even as a child. I have never doubted that you would be the
only man for me. My fear was that you would not want me.”

He sat and digested what she had said. “So,” he started, his voice low and his face hidden so she could not see
it. “There is no burning passion, no deep abiding longing for what is to come?”

“Oh, no!” she exclaimed. “All know that the elves have no great bursts of passion. It is all well banked by years
of ennui.”

He looked up to gauge her seriousness, to see the light in her eyes and the laughter threatening to burst out.
When his did, she could not contain hers, either. They laughed until tears rolled down their faces. Ela gained control
first, and her peals of laughter subsided into chuckles.

“You have two months to contemplate your freedom,” she whispered, “then I will show you no burning passion, no
abiding longing.” The promise in her words sent a quiver through his body. How had he so lost control of things?