Butterfly- Chrysalis

“Have you packed what you will need?” Gariel’s question came from the kitchen down the hall. She had laid out the dress and slippers that she and Lindelen had finished only two weeks earlier.

“Yes,” was her reply. Ela looked over the two bags that comprised her clothes and a few small gifts. It was little enough to take, but she did still have clothes at her father’s home.

“Did you remember Dorga’s gift?” Gariel came and stood in the doorway. Ela picked the carefully wrapped
package. Opening it, she marvelled once again at the beauty of the object. It was a silver chalice, overlaid with gold
filigree. It was a marriage cup, the one concession to Indrelan custom that she had made. It was to be used
immediately after the ceremony; a sharing of one by two was the saying. It symbolized that from that point on, all
things were to belong to both of them. A rather ironic sentiment in Ela’s estimation, considering how her mother’s
people treated their women. However, she felt it would make her mother happy to know that at least that part of
her heritage she was willing to uphold. And Dorga had made it after seeing drawings given him by Cabal.

Smiling, she wrapped the cup back up, placing it well within her clothes. Closing the bag, she turned to the
woman who had been less than a mother, but more than a sister to her for so long.

“I am so glad that you will be making the journey. I cannot imagine so important a thing as my wedding without
you and Orophin. I wish Lindelen was going, also.”

“As does she, but she does not care to leave right now. She is anticipating meeting her husband in a couple of
months; so, it is as well that she is staying to take care of arrangements here. When you return, all will be ready for
the celebration. Now, if you do not mind, I have several things to go up to the talan, if you would like to take them
up. It is not much, nor will it take you long.”

“All right. I want to check over the talan, anyway. Also, I need to make sure that Rúmil’s belongings are moved
to his new home. I so hated putting him out of the talan, but it would be rather crowded there for three, not to
mention awkward. However, he seems happy enough to do it. Not that he will spend much time there.”

She followed Gariel to the family room. Picking up the basket waiting by the door, she turned glanced at her
future sister-in-law.

“Thank you,” she said, reaching up and kissing her cheek. “Where would I be today, without you?”

“You would have managed,” was the reply.

“Yes, but with you, I have more than managed. I am so very grateful for knowing you. Would that I had had a
sister. I would have wanted her to be you.”

“Go, girl. At the rate you are stalling, that basket will still be here when you return from your wedding.” The
words did not match the tears forming in her eyes. Turning abruptly back into the house, she left Ela to step out on
the porch and be off on her errand.

Ela stepped a lively pace as she headed towards the inner part of the city. Short of the formal gardens that led
to the heart of Caras Galadhon, she started up the stairs that led to the talan she was to call home. Entering it, she
recalled the first time she had visited Haldir’s home. A child, barely fifteen, she had huddled in the middle of the large
living room, afraid to approach any of the windows. Deep down, the fear was still there, but maturity had learned to
overcome most of the nausea from the heights.

She went to the bedroom and surveyed the room carefully. Opening the large wardrobe, she laid the last of the
bed sheets that she had brought up. The shelves held the sheets and pillow slips that Gariel and Lindelen had gifted
her with along with the beautiful bed covering Meliel had brought up her last visit to her mother’s home in Caras
Galadhon. There were also bath sheets resting on their own shelf. In the small bathing room off the bedroom, Ela
checked the small cupboard, insuring herself that it was stocked with the bathing supplies they would need. Going
back out to the bedroom, she looked once again at the large bed. Never had Ela seen such a bed, except her
father’s at home. She had resisted the temptation of even sitting on it, wanting the first time to be when they shared
it together. Glancing at the nightstand beside the bed, Ela could not resist that temptation. On impulse, she opened
the drawer. There, lying inside by itself was a children’s grammar book of Quenyan, her book. She supposed she
should have been surprised to find it there, but she was not. She knew she was not careless, nor had she lost the
book. Had she really wanted to think about it, the only explanation was that Haldir had taken the book. After all, he
was the one who had given it to her. Instead of anger, she felt a kind of humour; that it was a book he chose to
keep to remember her by, when she had left. Replacing the book, she picked up the almost empty basket and
returned to the living room. Placing the napkins and tablecloths from the bottom of the basket on the shelves in the
kitchen, she turned to survey the large room. The same sofas and table set were there. They were little worn, since
the brothers had not used the residence much.

Hanging on the wall was the copy of the coat of arms that her grandmother had given her. It looked oddly out
of place in the small surroundings, but Haldir had insisted that it be hung, nonetheless. She determined to devise
one for his family, in the future. After all, their children would need a heritage to point to, and she would never allow
their father to be diminished by their mother’s heritage.

Satisfied, she started out the door, and back down the stairs. Thinking about him made her almost miss a step.
Smiling, she recalled the look on his face when he rode into the southern station. Her visit with Meliel had gone well,
and she was ready to go home.

She had sensed his concern, but felt him relax when he realized that all was well with her. They had not
discussed the incident in Spring Grove, and she was happy enough to forget it.

Ela did not recall much of her ordeal, only the sense of loss that she could not explain. Discussions with Lady
Galadriel had shed no light on what had happened, and Glordinel had noticed her reluctance to do more than aid him,
but had not commented.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Ela jumped the last two steps. Only two more days! Her excitement was barely contained. Two more days, and then they left for Imladris. Her bags were packed, the plans were all laid and only two more days! Suddenly, she felt the urge to hurry home. Walking quickly, she absently nodded to anyone she
knew in passing.

Bursting through the door to the house, Ela rushed back the hallway to her room. It was rather bare, now that
she had moved most of her things to the talan. Only a couple of books and a bottle of oil remained, along with the
clothes she needed until their departure. Opening the bag containing her wedding dress, she gave it a final perusal.

The soft grey of the silk was offset by the dark blue embroidering along the bodice. The blue butterflies seemed
poised, waiting for the chance to fly away. The filmy gauze of the dark overskirt was open in the centre to expose
the lighter grey of the skirt. The dress would drop to the ground; a right proper gown, down to the small grey
slippers that matched. Carefully placing it back into the bag, she picked up the small wooden box from the
nightstand; inside were a necklace and bracelet set with dark sapphires. They were a wedding gift from Haldir,
bought on his last trip to Gondor. He refused to buy her earrings, but had made sure that they matched the ones
Elrohir had given her when she was fifteen. In return, she had managed to acquire a vambrace and shield worked in
steel. The device in the centre of the shield showed a snow leopard fending off a dragon while an eagle attacked
from above, swooping in to do battle. Her gifts were safely stowed in Imladris, waiting for their arrival.

Hearing footsteps in the outer hallway, Ela closed the box and placed it in the bag with her dress. Tying the
straps tightly, she turned as Gariel came to her door. Smiling at the older woman, she sighed in contentment.

“I have two days. Then, we are off.”

“Yes,” said Gariel, a smile tugging at her lips. She remembered her own anticipation, waiting for Orophin. How
long the few weeks would seem. “Have you heard from Meliel?”

“They arrive tomorrow. Delinfel is complaining that I planned this time purposely to upset him. I did point out
that it was their choice to have a child, not mine. They could have waited.”

“I am sure everything will work out. Now, I think that Glordinel asked to see you yet today. Will you be back for
supper?”

“I believe so. I have no reason to think otherwise. I am finished in the talan; all my things here are packed. I
am ready to leave.”

“Very well. Supper will be light tonight. Tomorrow, we will eat early. You do not want to go to bed on a full
stomach and then spend the next day ruing it.” Gariel turned back towards the kitchen.

“Has Elldar returned?” Ela asked, hesitantly. She knew how his parents felt about his trips to Mirkwood.

“I think he has.” Gariel’s answer was carefully even. His parents were proud of the trust given their son, but
did not appreciate the need he felt to spend so much time in Mirkwood.

“Well, I will see him at supper, then.” Ela quietly left.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~



“Good morning, Lord Glordinel,” Ela called as she skipped up the steps to his office.

“Back here,” came from somewhere farther down the hall.

Stopping in the doorway to the sorting room, Ela surveyed her teacher, up to his elbows in fresh herbs.

“Good morning, Lady Elrénia.” He smiled at her wince. “Now, if I do not remember to use your proper name
occasionally, you will forget it yourself.”

“That would not displease me in the least. I like my name the way it is.”

“Where did it come from,” he asked, curious. “I do not think I have ever asked that. It is not elven.”

She shrugged. “My mother. She let my father name me, but she shortened it out of habit. Her people usually
have names of one or two syllables. She may have eschewed the customs of her people, but some habits die hard. I
was only called by my proper name when I was in trouble. My father used the name because of her. So, I never
really heard my real name, as I was always the perfect child.” She grinned wickedly.

“I entertain doubts as to your perfection. Enlighten me, while you help me lay these out to dry.”

Washing her hands in the basin on a table, she spent the next hour laying the bright green leaves out on
cloth-covered boards to dry. The conversation consisted of questions from Glordinel, answered by Ela. Satisfied that
she was not lacking in knowledge, he wondered how to broach the subject of his summons.

“There,” he said. “All finished. Come to my office. I have something for you.” She washed her hands once
more, and then walked the short hall to his office. The shelves surrounding three of the walls were laden with books
and skeletons of small animals. Seated at the desk, Glordinel looked up as she entered the room. Picking up a small
book, he handed it to her. Opening it, she found it blank. Glancing at him questioningly, she waited.

“It is a journal, for you to write down your daily doings.”

She nodded, still confused.

“I want you to start with Spring Grove.” He held up a hand as she started to protest. “It is important. To you,
and to me. Ela,” he said gently, “you have not been the same since then. You have the knowledge and the
compassion, but you have avoided any opportunity to use your skills. It is something that bothers both the Lady and
me.”

She avoided his eyes, instead looking out the window. Turning back, she said simply, “It is gone.”

“What do you mean, it is gone”? he asked.

“There is nothing there. I know what to do. I know how to do it. I just feel that something that should be
there is not. And, I know when it left.”

He thought on her words. “Have you tried?”

She shook her head. “I see no point. It is gone. I can aid you, I can still do some things, but the ability to heal
is no longer there.”

“Well, let me tell you what I see. You have a gift, one that was well on its way to being exceptional. I have
seen you throw yourself, your whole being into healing. Then, you tried to help a small child that was too far gone.
You went beyond your limits, to find that there was a new level. You pushed yourself past what was prudent, to
save the life of that child. Without thinking of yourself, or what could happen. You succeeded, but now you fear that
you have opened a door that you cannot close. You fear that since you almost paid for that child with your own life,
the next time you will die.” He waited, but she said nothing. “Sell, you cannot live that way. You, yourself, have said
many times that fear of tomorrow should not cloud today. Have you forgotten?”

She bit her lip. “No, but you did not feel it. It was worse than death. It was nothing. Nothing, and pain.”

He nodded. “I understand your fear, but what will happen when you are faced with the decision of life and
death and you are all that stands in between?”

“I do not know. I know that I do not want to make that choice, but I would not let another die, if I could stop it.”

“That is why I want to you use the journal. Start at the beginning, just before what happened with the child.
Write down your feelings, your daily routine. Write about the little things you may forget the next day. Let the
journal help you.”

Still not convinced, she agreed to try it. She laid the journal down as Glordinel handed her a leather bag. The
size of a small courier bag, she opened it to discover that it was full of little bags and jars. There were dried herbs
and salves, held firmly in place by ties. A pocket in the inside front held a book of common uses for the medicines.
Another pocket, in the back was just big enough to hold her journal, which she found out when Glordinel placed it
there. The whole thing would fit in the shoulder bag she usually carried when travelling. Looking up at him, Ela had
tears in her eyes.

“You place much faith in me,” she said softly.

“It is not misplaced. I believe in you, because you believed in yourself. Find that faith you once had.” His words
were soft and gentle.

“Thank you. I just may be able to do that.” She paused. “You have taught me so much. How could I ever have
thought that coming here would be a disaster?”

“Coming from what you did, it may have seemed that way.”

“Do you remember the first time we spoke?” she asked. At his nod, she continued, “I thought you a most
improper elf, undignified and very lax in your life. But, you have given me so much.”

“It is odd that I think the same of you, except you have always taken yourself too seriously. I would like to think
that I have taught you to relax and live.”

“Oh, you did that,” she retorted. “Much to the chagrin of our esteemed march warden. He despaired my ever
growing up and taking life seriously. Now, it is my turn to teach him to live. I daresay that I will have much more fun
that did you.” The wicked gleam was back in her eyes.

Laughing, Glordinel shooed her out of his office and out onto the porch. “Get going, child. I am sure there are
others you can be bothering.”

“Yes, there are. I think I will go and see how the horses are. Maybe take a ride. I think that my time will not
afford such pastimes for a while. Goodbye, Lord Glordinel. I will see you when I return.”

Hurrying down the steps and down the road, she did not hear his soft answer: “Goodbye, my lady.”