Full Circle

CHAPTER ELEVEN: THE HOMECOMING



Buffy decided not to say a word to Mablung about Randiel. What could she possibly say any way? Instead she immersed herself into the construction of their home. The dwarves continued working despite the detrimental weather. It was a process that took over three years to complete. Buffy’s greatest accomplishment in regards to construction was the installation of the Archimedes Screw. This was a contraption that she had learned about while attending UC Sunnydale. It was a device that pulled water from the spring and carried it through a pipe to holding tanks on the roof of the house. It was powered by a windmill that was also located on the roof of the building. The first of its kind in Middle-earth. This device provided water throughout the entire mansion. One of the tanks provided very warm water when a fire was lit beneath it. It was by means no ‘hot water heater’ but it was better than bathing in ice cold water especially in the winter. There was no need to carry bucket after bucket any more. She had also devised the first septic tank. Buffy was adamant that her home would be as ‘normal’ as possible. And bathrooms with toilets were a necessity to her.

When the mansion was completed, Buffy and Mablung decided they would throw a huge party in celebration. They sent out invites to all their friends in far away places including the elves of Ossir. The great warriors from the northern and western marches were summoned as well as those who dwelled within Menegroth including Thingol. It was spring time and the weather was perfect. The gardens were blooming with flowers in a plethora
of colors and fragrances. There were numerous birds of all varieties that sang sweetly in the mammoth trees. Buffy had created her very own sanctuary. A place that she had conceived in her mind but never thought would become a reality. At the age of thirty-one, Buffy had finally achieved the ‘American Dream’.

There were literally hundreds and hundreds of people in attendance. Mablung had taken Galadhon hunting and they had killed four large boars which provided more than enough food for the guests. When Thingol and his courtiers arrived, they were in awe by the magnificence of this brick structure. Thingol himself requested Buffy to give him a tour of the house and grounds. His temperament changed with the seasons in Buffy’s eyes. When she had first returned from Brethil after their heated exchange of words, Thingol had become more complacent towards her.

Their conversation was amicable and Thingol’s words would stay with her for the rest of her life. It was actually the most enlightening conversation she ever had with the King. “I know that we have had our…differences,” he had said. “I do not understand how you are able to vex me the way that you do. From the moment you entered my Halls many years ago, I could sense your power.” Buffy looked up at him inquisitively. “Oh, yes,” he continued. “I knew you were someone who possessed innate abilities that made me envious. Yes, I, Elu Thingol was envious of the little warrior-maiden who possessed powers greater than my own. My people loved you from that moment on. They would follow you to death without your saying a single word. That is a sign of a true leader. Melian and all the women of my House have voiced their disapproval of me for being too harsh with you. They have come to your defense numerous times…”

“We women have got to stick together,” Buffy replied. The King laughed at that comment. “You know, it’s really good to hear you laugh. It seems like your rarely do anymore. At least, in my presence.”

“As I have said, you are able to affect my emotions in ways that have never been done before. That, my dear friend, is a rare quality. I hope that our quarrels are now a thing of the past,” he stated as they made their way out onto the balcony off the master suite on the third floor. They watched the many people on the grounds dancing to the tunes of Daeron and his companions.

“Me too,” Buffy added as she leaned on the wrought iron railing watching the festivities below.

“There are a few things that I would like to discuss with you.” Buffy glanced sideways at the King.

“Fire away,” Buffy replied.

Buffy had to explain that expression to Thingol. “Tell me of your feelings for Mablung.” Buffy looked at him with a totally shocked expression. The King wanted to discuss her personal life. Scary! “I do not mean to pry, but I love Mablung greatly and I would not want to see him hurt.”

“What makes you think that I would hurt him? I’d never do that…At least, not intentionally.” The Slayer didn’t understand where he was going with this.

“I would hope not.” He sighed. “Do you remember when Mablung named you Bellaseth at our first meeting?” Buffy nodded and chuckled.

“Yeah, I didn’t know what the hell he was doing.”

“I would have thought that Muilwen would have suited you better. In my eyes, it fits you perfectly.”

“Secret maiden?” questioned Buffy. “Why would you say that?”

“You harbor many secrets, do you not?” Buffy shook her head. “You often speak of being accounted as one of the second born…a daughter of mankind. Do you not see that that is a false assessment? You are no more a Follower than I am.”

“What makes you think that? Did Melian say something to you?” she inquired insistently.

“My wife keeps no secrets from me. Whilst we have rarely discussed man yet unborn until you arrived in our land, we have since discussed them numerous times. You have died twice Bella! My heart tells me that is not a trait to be found in the Aftercomers. Keep in mind Melian is not the only one with the gift of foresight. How much have you changed…physically since you arrived in Middle-Earth?” Buffy didn’t answer. “Clearly you have seen with your own two eyes that your appearance is much the same as it was when you first turned up. I cannot understand why you do not come to terms with your immortality and rejoice…”

“I’m not immortal,” she said firmly. “Quite honestly Thingol, I resent the suggestion.”

“I do not understand that. It is a blessing. A blessing from Eru Ilúvatar. What is it you fear?”

“What is it I fear?” Buffy repeated his words. She continued in a gloomy tone, “I fear spending the rest of my life fighting evil. If what you say is true, then why am I being punished? What in God’s name did I do to deserve that? Why would The Powers subject me to… years of horror…and dread…and death?” Buffy couldn’t stop herself. “Haven’t I earned some peace? This is one gig that I really don’t want.”

“Perhaps the choice is not yours to make,” he said.

“If that’s the case, then The Powers are screwing me over once again. I don’t fear death but I fear everything else up to that point.” She looked at him with tear filled eyes. “I’ve done their bidding. I always have. I’ve done the right thing even when I thought I’d die from heartbreak. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve saved the world. I’m starting to lose count.” Tears began to roll down her cheeks. “Am I evil?” she asked softly.

Thingol felt the Slayers anguish and it brought tears to his eyes. He embraced the Slayer in an attempt to ease her sorrow. “No child,” he said quietly as he stroked her long blonde hair. “You are not evil…You are filled with love…We elves can perceive that…It is like a bright and brilliant flame that burns of blue and white. Those are your colors Bellaseth.” He took a step backwards leaving his hands resting on her shoulders. “When I look at you I see a maiden who is truly good…and loyal who seeks only peace and tranquility. A maiden who is pure in heart…who believes in second chances.” He paused. “You believe in redemption when others do not. My dear Bellaseth,” he cupped her cheek in his hand. “You are holy as your eternal brethren, the Ainur. Do not flee from your destiny. Embrace it. Let it provide you with strength in times of mounting sorrow and pain, child.”

Buffy smiled meekly. Can you answer something for me?” she asked the King whose reply was a simple nod of his head. “I’ve been told…before I came to Middle-earth that death was my gift. Do you know what that means?”

He closed his eyes and stood silently for a few minutes. When his eyes opened he sighed, “I cannot clearly say with certainty, Bellaseth. But I deem that it has to do with your battles with the creatures of Melkor Bauglir. You have been bestowed with extraordinary abilities to slay evil...that is your destiny. Do not fret over words you have heard long ago. They will fade, in time.” She stood there quietly and motionless. “What is it that still troubles you?”

“If I’m one of the Ainur, like you suggest…how come I have no memory of it? How come I don’t have all those phenomenal powers like they do?” she asked bluntly.

“Not all is revealed to any including the Ainur themselves. There are some in Valinor that know more than others, but none can truly know Eru Ilúvatar’s mind in the great scheme of things.” Buffy looked at him with a surprised expression. “Yes, you have heard me correctly. In time, all shall be revealed even to the Ainur themselves.” He smiled. “They chose you as their instrument in this great scheme. Look at that as an honor not a burden. The doors have been closed to Melian yet they have opened for you. Perhaps it is your destiny to rid the world of evil.”

“That’ll never happen. Believe me.” She said in a somber tone. “I guess I’m the only one who has ever traveled in time from the End of Days, so I can surely vouch for that. Evil runs rampant in more ways than one.” She thought about the words of Salmar. “Salmar said I would be reliving my past in order to understand the current state of affairs in the End of Days. So, if that’s the case, I really don’t have any free will to make any changes that should have been made in the first place. Does that make sense?”

“Your words sound strange to my ears but I understand what it is you are saying nonetheless,” he replied grimly. “Do not despair over things that you have no power over. The fact remains that you are supposed to be here – for good or for ill.” A look of horror came over Buffy’s face. “That does not mean you are evil. You are on a quest for knowledge and the people of Middle-earth shall be your teachers. I deem that you will find many along the way.”

“I guess I’ve just been on the receiving end of the wisdom of Thingol,” she replied.

He dropped his arms to his side. “Indeed you have. And as you age, you too shall acquire even greater wisdom…Now let us rejoin the festivities before people get suspicious about our whereabouts. We have lingered in your bedchamber for far too long.” They both laughed. “There are those in my own Household who are known to delight in rumor mongering…” With that they left the balcony, descended the spiral staircase to the first floor and rejoined the merrymaking.

After a while and lots of wine and ale, the elves began delivering speeches of appreciation for this get-together. Mablung, being the patriarch of the house reciprocated with the following, “Thank you my dear friends. Thank you all for coming to celebrate the completion of our new home.” Buffy noticed that Mablung was a little tipsy but extremely happy. “It is an honor to be in the presence of so many noble and valiant people.” He bowed slightly to the King and Queen and their closest kin. “This is but a beginning of a new phase in our lives,” he began again as he put his arm around Buffy. “I hope that you all find the same joy and happiness that I have found with my beloved Bella…” He was interrupted by the sound of thundering applause. “And to mark this occasion…” he pivoted Buffy around so she now faced him. “I would like to say a few words to my Bella…I have loved you from the moment I set eyes on you. My heart told me that our fates were to be intertwined some day. And now that day has come. You are the only woman for me. I ask you, in witness of our many friends, to be my wife…” A hushed silence fell over the crowd. All stared at a misty eyed Buffy.

“I will,” Buffy said breathlessly. A deafening roar echoed through the house as Mablung embraced Buffy. Many people came up to them congratulating them on their betrothal. Buffy was so excited about this new chapter in her life. Her chance for a new beginning. She had grown to love Mablung dearly and found him to be the perfect mate for her.

The festivities finally wound down at dawn. At that time, Buffy and Mablung proceeded to their private quarters. After getting undressed, Buffy stood in front of the mirror studying her naked body. She noticed that she didn’t appear to be aging. She looked exactly the same as she did when she arrived in Middle-earth nearly seven years ago. She would be celebrating her thirty-second birthday in a few weeks. She examined the numerous scars located all over her body. The bite marks from The Master, Angelus and Dracula could still be seen. They were faint yet they were still there. Just like the stab wounds to her belly; she had three of those. Plus dozens of scars from slashings she had in past skirmishes of a beastly kind. Buffy recalled how she received every mark in vivid detail. Mablung came up behind Buffy catching her off guard. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder. Looking into the mirror he said, “Nestor’s salve can easily take these away.” His gently traced the wounds on her belly with his finger tip. “You need not be reminded of them ever again.”

“They’re a part of me,” she responded sadly. “It’s the only thing I really have that reminds me of home…or my old home I should say.”

“You still possess your crossbow…and that splendid knife of yours…the amulet and I believe that you still have three rings.” He picked up her left hand and softly kissed it. “Those remind you of home, do they not?”

“I guess I mean to say, they’re reminders of being the Slayer. Tokens left behind from my old life…like I actually existed before coming here…you know what I mean?”

“I do.” He dropped her hand and tenderly kissed a scar on her right shoulder. “I love you with or without your scars. I will not speak of it again, but it is late…we have had a very long night.” He yawned.

“Yeah, let’s go to bed,” she yawned back.



In the following weeks Buffy celebrated her thirty-second birthday. She didn’t have a huge bash like their housewarming party. It was a small affair with about fifty people, which is what she always preferred. She still had her houseguests from Ossir and Úrion had now joined her Household on a permanent basis. She was instructing him on fighting techniques and…well, life. That was definitely ironic as he was a good three hundred years older than she. But when it came to knowing about good and evil, Buffy had him beat to some degree. He absolutely loved their sparring sessions and they spent many hours confined to the training room.

She had become more or less a homebody. She had learned a great deal about weaving and sewing – especially from Galadhon’s wife, Nathril. She was a charming and gifted woman who basically was responsible for designing all the furnishings within Buffy’s home; from the draperies and bedspreads to the carpeting and upholstery. She spent a lot of time at Buffy’s so it wasn’t too surprising when she came running in with some big news. “Bella, Bella,” she said as she attempted to catch her breath.

“What’s wrong?” Buffy queried excitedly. “Is there trouble brewing? War? Vamps?”

“No, No. Nothing like that.” She took a seat across from Buffy. “I thought I would let you know…The King’s nephews have just arrived from Valinor!” She was still breathing heavily as she continued to deliver the news. “They say that they have been sent by the Valar as their emissaries to aid us in our fight with…Bauglir…” Nathril continued talking, but Buffy didn’t hear what she said after that. She was now deep in thought. She was processing the whole ‘emissaries sent by the Valar’ thing. If that’s the case, did that mean that Buffy failed at her mission? That The Powers didn’t believe she could be successful in defeating the First. This news put Buffy in a melancholy state of mind. She heard Nathril’s last words, “Come with me and meet these men from the West. They are in Thingol’s Halls as we speak.”

“Nah,” she replied wistfully. “Let Thingol enjoy his little family reunion. I’ve got stuff to do.” With that, she got up and headed back to the training room. She needed to vent those feelings of inadequacy that were beginning to overwhelm her. Buffy made a bee line to her punching bag. She was feeling angry, hurt and confused. She didn’t know what her purpose in Middle-earth was any more.

Buffy had been pummeling the bag over an hour working when Orchal walked in. He had a tray with a couple of goblets and a bottle of wine. “Has that helped abate your feeling of frustration?” he asked after he poured them each a drink.

Buffy did a roundhouse kick which split the bag in two. Sand poured out all over the beautiful stone floor. “It helped…a little,” she replied as she grabbed a towel and wiped her face and neck. “I see that you’ve got some ‘happiness in a bottle’.” She was referring to the wine.

Orchal smiled and handed her a drink. “I figured it would be better than water. Do you want to talk about it?” He sat atop a table. “I am all ears,” he said lightheartedly as he exposed his pointy elvish ears from beneath his locks.

Buffy couldn’t help but smile. She sat on the table across from him. “So,” she said as she took a sip. “You wanna play shrink?”

Orchal who was becoming more familiar with Buffy’s vernacular laughed, “Would you rather lie down? Is that not what a shrink is supposed to say? Lie down and tell me what is on your mind…”

“Nah,” she said as she drained her cup. After refilling it she sighed, “What am I supposed to do Orchal? If the Valar have sent these people to do their bidding, why am I here?”

He looked at her thoughtfully. “Perhaps your errand is not the same as theirs. My heart tells me that you have an important role to play in this world. They may have been sent here to aid you. Have you given that any thought?” He didn’t let Buffy reply. “I have spoken with the eldest one, Findaráto Ingoldo is his name in the tongue of the West.”

“Can you say ‘weird’? What the hell kind of name is that?” she asked with a chuckle.

“I cannot rightly say. It translates into our tongue as Finrod,” answered Orchal. “He is very wise Bella. They have journeyed far under ghastly conditions, or so he says. It has taken them seven years to reach these lands…”

“Hey wait a minute,” Buffy interrupted. “They have to be those people I saw when I was doing that astral projection thingy a few years ago. Remember?”

“I most surely do. And I do not doubt that you are correct in your conclusion. These are the people you witnessed walking through the harsh cold region of Helcaraxë. You must meet with them. If you consult with one another, I am sure both sides with profit from it. They may have messages for you from The Powers. Surely it is worth investigating?”

“Maybe,” said Buffy coolly. “I’m still not gonna go barging into Thingol’s little reunion. I think its best that we wait. Maybe they’ll seek me. Who knows?” Orchal refilled their goblets once again. Buffy was already getting a little buzzy. They spoke for about a half an hour more before Buffy got up to take a bath. Her workout gave her a pretty bad case of B.O.

After bathing she rejoined Orchal and the others in what she called her ‘music room’. Over the last couple of years Buffy had designed many instruments from her day. These were mostly things one would find in an orchestra: violins, violas, cellos. Instruments mostly of the stringed variety. There were no electric guitars obviously nor were there any massive drum sets that one would normally find in modern times. She had just gotten so sick and tired of listening to harps. At least now she could hear ‘elevator’ music whenever she so desired. She had taught the green-elves many of her favorite songs from her time. “What song do you want to hear?” queried Orchal, who had a beautiful voice.

“Freebird,” she chanted. The guys then did a mellow version of the classic Lynyrd Skynyrd song. She had taught them the lyrics in English. They had no idea of what the words meant, but Buffy refused to hear any of those songs in elvish. As the night wore on the many tables in the chamber were laden with food. When Buffy had a lot of people staying with her, she preferred serving them buffet style. The many doors and windows were thrown wide open allowing fresh air to circulate throughout the many rooms. Elves were coming in and out by the hordes which was becoming custom in these halls.

It was nearly ten o’clock when Orchal finally played one of Buffy’s favorite songs of all time. She was feeling pretty good as were the dozens of people who were scattered about the massive room. “This next song I dedicate to the mistress of these halls,” said a drunken Orchal. And this is what he sang:

“I’m sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea
I’ve got to be free, free to face the life that’s ahead of me
On board, I’m the captain, so climb aboard
We’ll search for tomorrow on every shore
And I’ll try, oh Lord, I’ll try to carry on.

I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy, some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
We live happily forever, so the story goes
But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold
But we’ll try best that we can to carry on.

A gathering of angels appeared above my head
They sang to me this song of hope, and this is what they said
They said come sail away, come sail away
Come said away with me.
Come sail away, come said away
Come sail away with me.

I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise
They climbed aboard their starship and headed for the skies
Singing come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me.
Come said away, come sail away
Come sail away with me.” *

Buffy stood on the divan applauding loudly when the elves rendition of that classic Styx song was over. The other people wanted to hear it again. That’s how the elves were. They liked to hear the same songs over and over again especially if it was about the sea. When they started all over, Buffy noticed someone whom she had never seen before in Doriath. He was quite different than the other elves she had encountered and she had a weird sense of déjà vu when her eyes fell upon him. He was tall and had long golden hair with intense gray eyes. When their eyes locked, they stared at each other for several minutes. Buffy then waved him over. The stranger made his way through the throng of people to where Buffy was sitting. It was he that spoke first. “Hail Lady, my name is Finrod, son of Arphin. I am kin of Elu Thingol’s. You must be Bellaseth Dagnir.” he said with a smile.

“The one and only,” she replied. “Have a seat.” Buffy slid over and allowed him to sit next to her. Mablung was busy playing with ‘the band’. She summoned one of her friends to bring a drink to the newcomer. “So your Thingol’s nephew,” she began again as she intensely studied him. “Have we met before?” she asked as Nestor came over with a glass of wine for Finrod.

“It is odd that you should say that,” he replied after taking a sip. “You look very familiar to me as well. Have you been to Valinor before? Perhaps we have met there long ago.”

“Can’t say that I have. I’ve seen it from afar, but…I don’t think I’m welcome there.” She had this weird feeling about this elf.

“Why would you not be welcome in Valinor?” he asked.

It was at that time that the song finished and Mablung walked up. “I see that you have met my beloved,” he said to Finrod. Úrion had now approached them as well, handing a drink to Mablung. “Ah, thank you, my friend,” he said to Úrion as he gave him a pat on the back. “You have saved me a trip to the bar. Have you met Finrod, Thingol’s kin from over sea?”

“I do not believe that I have had the privilege,” Úrion replied. After the introductions, a small group pulled up some chairs and joined in the conversation. Finrod had told them of the deeds of Melkor Bauglir whom they called Morgoth which means ‘black foe’ in the elvish tongue. He told them how Morgoth caused unrest in the House of Finwë, who was king of the Golodhrim (Noldor in the Western tongue of Valinor) and also Finrod’s forefather. They learned that after Morgoth’s release from Mandos, he was commanded to stay in Valinor until Manwë decreed otherwise. In that time he plotted the downfall of the House of Finwë by having brother turn on brother. He was so successful that Fëanor, eldest son of Finwë was banished from their city for twelve years. He was Finwë’s favorite son, so the King went into exile with him. During one of their great festivals, Morgoth with an accomplice went to Formenos, the home of the exiles, and killed Finwë and stole all the treasures from the Noldorin vaults including the Silmarils. The Silmarils were three jewels made by Fëanor that contained the essence from the Two Trees. They gave off the most brilliant light imaginable. But now, the Two Trees are dead being destroyed by the wrath of Morgoth, and the Silmarils he took to his fortress in Angband. The Noldorin elves were out to avenge their forefather and to aid their long lost kin in the upcoming battles with Morgoth.

Buffy was horrified by the Finrod’s tale. How could the Valar allow something like that to happen in their own land? thought Buffy. But before she could question Finrod further the conversation turned to the first war fought in Middle-earth by the Teleri elves. That’s the war Buffy fought in. More and more elves gathered around as that story led to the incident in Brethil with Daehir and the vampires. It was quite unfortunate that Úrion’s lips became looser as he drank. He was talking about Buffy’s spell to recant invites when he said, “The spell worked splendidly. But Dagnir decided to let the vampire-maid walk free. Told her she was forbidden to enter Brethil again…” He looked up at her. “I still do not understand why you let her go free. Was it because she was a woman?” Buffy had been pleading with her eyes for him to shut up. Mablung was sitting right there with them and he didn’t know anything about Randiel.

“You let a vampire go free? Yes, Bella, tell us why you would do that?” asked Mablung, who was very much sober.

“It was my call,” she finally said. “Let’s drop it.”

Finrod definitely caught on and attempted to change the subject. But it was once again Úrion who brought it up. “What was her name again?” He asked as he tried to recall the name. Buffy was becoming more and more uncomfortable and it was showing. “Oh yes, Randiel,” he blurted out. “I thought I would never remember that maiden’s name.”

Mablung’s jaw dropped. All those elves who knew of his past looked stunned. Their eyes darted from Mablung to Buffy and then back again. “Randiel?” Mablung asked as he got to his feet. “Is that the same Randiel that I…that I…”

Buffy looked up at him. “I’m afraid so.”

“And you felt there was no need to tell me?” Mablung had a hurtful expression on his face. “How could you keep this from me? I cannot believe you would do something like that…to me. After all we have been through.” He quickly left the room.

Buffy stood up and cast a dirty look at Úrion. “Thanks a lot!” she sneered as she ran after Mablung.


*lyrics by Dennis DeYoung