Full Circle

CHAPTER TWELVE: BEWITCHED, BOTHERED AND BEWILDERED



Buffy hurried up the stairs to her bedchamber. There she found Mablung busily packing his satchel. “Where are you going?” she demanded. Mablung ignored her and continued packing. “Talk to me…” she said as she pulled the satchel away.

“I have nothing to say to you,” he replied coolly.

“Where are you going?” she asked again.

“It is not obvious to you?” he said angrily. “I am going to kill Randiel. Something you should have done…”

“Mablung, listen to me,” she pleaded. “You don’t understand…”

“Understand, what?” He paused. “I understand that you are a Vampire Slayer yet you set one free. How could you do that?”

“It’s not that simple,” she replied. “Randiel isn’t like other vamps. She’s different. I could sense that about her. That’s why I let her go. She loves you…”

“How can she love me when she has no soul?” he yelled. “She is a monster.” He snatched the bag from Buffy. “And you, of all people…” His tone became somber. “You never thought to tell me about her. You have taken it upon yourself to keep secrets from me. You have betrayed…”

“No I haven’t,” she pleaded. “Randiel is different from other vampires,” she continued calmly. “I’ve had vampires help me in the past…”

“Why have you never spoken of this before?” he queried.

Buffy never told him about Angel or Spike. When she told him of her battles before Middle-earth, she conveniently glossed over their participation. How do you tell someone that you love about having vampires as past lovers? She decided it was best not to mention them at all. And now it seemed like it was coming back to bite her on the ass. “It never came up,” she quietly answered.

“It is apparent that you are keeping things from me. You claim to love me yet…” He sighed. “I understand this Calling of yours. It is indeed very noble. But your duty is to kill vampires and demons; not set them free!” Buffy tried to interrupt him but he wouldn’t let her. “I’m not finished…It is not your call to set one free upon the people in this world. Yes, that is what you have done. You have set a demon loose…”

“That’s not what I did,” she retorted. “She has never fed on any people; only animals and the wolves of Bauglir. It’s because of her love for you that she doesn’t…”

“Stop saying that!” He threw the last few items in his bag and hoisted it over his shoulder. “Now let me finish what you should have done.”
“Let me go with you,” Buffy said as she went over to the closet to get her bag.

“No. I will take Úrion with me. He knows where her lair is. I do not want to be around you right now.” With that said, he left the room slamming the door behind him. Buffy knew there was no point in following him. It would only piss him off more. She wanted this nightmare of a day to end, so she went to bed. Hopefully, things would be better in the morning.

The following morning Buffy awoke at dawn. The house was very quiet and Mablung’s absence made it more so. Nestor and Orchal were already in the kitchen finishing their breakfast. Buffy grabbed a cup of tea and made her way out to the patio. Her friends soon joined her. They sat there talking about what transpired the previous night. “I’ve known you guys for a while now. If I tell you something, can you promise to keep it a secret?” They swore that they would keep their mouths shut. Buffy then related what happened to her in her ‘past life.’ For some reason, every sordid detail came spewing from her lips. She revealed every personal and humiliating event that ever took place in her life. From Angel to Spike, even Dracula. Things that even her best friends back home didn’t know about. When she was finished with her ramblings (which lasted a couple of hours), she finally said, “So. Has your opinion of me changed? Or do you now see me as some whore who has a thing for the undead?”

Buffy definitely left them both stunned by her tales. It was Nestor who spoke first. “I think no less of you,” he began. “If your tale is true, and I believe it is, you have done nothing wrong. You were in love with Angel and one could understand that. He was good to you. He loved you. That certainly makes a difference. To me, any way.”

“Besides,” interjected Orchal. “You killed your lover to save the world. Not many people would do that, I deem. However, your relationship with Spike is different…”

“I do not think so,” chimed in Nestor. “Spike showed his affections differently, but it was love nevertheless. For one who had no soul…”

“It was obsession,” countered Orchal. “It was obsession until he reclaimed his soul. But what a remarkable thing it is to love someone so much that one would go to such lengths in return for their soul. That is indeed an admirable quality.”

“And do not forget that because of his love for Bella, he died saving the world.” Nestor said as he shook his head. “I thought that good and evil was easy to distinguish, but now I learn it is not so.”

“Nope,” Buffy finally said. “It’s not. Everyone assumes that it’s black and white, good and evil, that is. But they don’t consider how many shades of gray there is. Believe me, I know.”

“Why is it that you have not told Mablung these tales?” inquired Orchal.

“I didn’t know what to say. He doesn’t understand about the ‘gray’ part. To him, there are only two categories: good and evil. You’re on one side or the other. There is no happy medium.” She chuckled to herself. “You have no idea how hard it was to tell you guys. I have this gut feeling that I’m going to loose a lot of my friends here in Doriath. I can’t explain it, but I can tell.”

“And you think that has to do with your past?” asked Nestor.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Not everyone understands like you two. I knew instinctively that it was okay to tell you guys that stuff about my past, but I don’t think I should tell anyone else.”

“Perhaps you should trust your instincts then,” suggested Orchal. “I do not think any different of you. You are strong and loyal. But more importantly, you are a great friend to those whom you love.” He smiled. “And I do not think that you are a whore…”

“However, you have had a number of lovers,” Nestor said wryly. “Would that qualify as being a whore? Perhaps. But I would never call you that in a million years.”

“That is because you do not wish to die by her hands…Or be beaten to a bloody pulp,” added Orchal with a sarcastic laugh.

“Have you not wondered Bellaseth, why you seem to be attracted to immortal men? You have had more…encounters…with them than mortals? And why is it that you were willing to tell Mablung about Allandro but not about your other lovers?” inquired Nestor.

Buffy sat there for a moment. “Allandro’s not a vampire. So that explains that. As far as the other goes…I guess it’s because I have super-human strength. Your regular Joe-mortal doesn’t have powers like me. Only other beings possess those traits. I guess that’s why I’m drawn to them. We have that ‘other-worldliness’ thing in common. I really never thought about it before.”

“Shh,” whispered Orchal. “Someone is approaching. Change the topic of conversation to something else…” Orchal was correct. Soon they were joined by three more individuals; Finrod and his two brothers, Aegnor and Angrod. Buffy was quick to apologize to Finrod about Mablung’s outburst the previous night. She was still slightly embarrassed by that. He was very understanding and after she apologized it was not mentioned again.

The brothers spent the rest of the day with Buffy and her buds. She showed them her weapons which had now grown in number since she had had another birthday. She had received dozens and dozens of swords, axes, knives, and spears over the years. All in varying shapes and sizes, but none compared to her scythe. The brothers were quite impressed with that weapon. It was while they were looking at the weapons that Finrod spoke to Buffy quietly while they were alone. “I know where I have seen you before,” he spoke quietly. She looked at him inquisitively. “One eve I was on guard duty and I saw you, but you were not as you appear now. You were not in your garbed in flesh. Do you remember coming face to face with me?”

Buffy cast a glance at the others before replying, “Yeah, I remember.”

“I felt your sadness…and loneliness. You do not understand why you are here and what your true purpose is. Did you reach the Blessed Realm?” he asked.

Buffy was absolutely stunned by his ability to perceive her mind. “Not exactly,” she replied. “I only got a visual. Something held me back from actually entering Valinor. I think they installed some type of alarm system. I don’t think I’m ready to confront The Powers just yet…Maybe some day. Who knows? Tell me, Finrod. Have you ever heard the Valar talk about me? Or The Slayer? The Chosen One? She who hunts creepy crawlers in the dead of night?”

“I am afraid not,” he replied. “The Valar do not reveal all to us. Whatever your mission is Bella; I would judge that it is to remain a secret.”

“Even from me?” she queried. “I just wish I knew exactly what my role is in this great scheme of theirs.”

“I am sure you will discover that at some point in the not too distant future,” replied Finrod.

Buffy really liked Finrod and his brothers. They were very interested in her tales from the ‘modern world.’ She told them about motor cars, airplanes and spaceships which they found difficult to comprehend. They were horrified when she told them of man’s invention of weapons that could literally obliterate entire races of people.
They, in turn, told her stories of the Blessed Realm and The Powers That Be.

Finrod and his brothers departed Doriath the following day. They had to report back to their kin who dwelt along the shores of Lake Mithrim. Buffy was invited to tag along, but she refused to go anywhere until Mablung returned home. Over the next few days, Buffy spent endless hours looking in her own mirror that she erected in one of her private chambers on the third floor. She had already lost interest in magics except for this one device. If it could give her the ‘edge’ over the enemy, than that would suffice.

But things took a dramatic turn one rainy night. Buffy had drifted off to sleep and found herself in some strange room. It reminded her of that chamber in Lindon Hall where they met with the ambassadors. The room was constructed entirely out of black marble; walls, floor and ceiling. Three mammoth chandeliers hung from the ceiling. They appeared to be wrought out of antlers from some unknown beast. The wax from the candles had dripped down and resembled blackened icicles. The walls were adorned with many tapestries and portraits of gory scenes. Most depicted certain acts of torture – too horrific and graphic to be put into words. But they mesmerized Buffy. The details were impeccable and so detailed. The artist surely captured the pain and anguish of the poor elves depicted in them. There were four sets of double doors located on each wall. After surveying the chamber, Buffy went through door number one; on the other side was a winding staircase.

As she climbed up the stairs she noticed that her clothing had changed. She was now dressed in silk and lace black gown with a plunging neckline. A gilded belt was clasped around her waist, dangling from it were several small golden charms in the shapes of daggers and swords. It made a soft tinkling sound with every step she took. Once again Buffy found herself walking barefoot. She could smell the burning oil from the torches that were mounted along the stone walls. The shadows cast by the flickering flames gave the stairway an eerie and spooky vibe.

At the top of the stairs was yet another door – this one seemed to be constructed from iron or steel. She slowly turned the knob and entered a magnificent chamber. It still had that black theme going on, but the décor was very beautiful. It was the complete opposite of what she just saw downstairs. The tapestries were adorned with gorgeous scenic vistas. One large solitary window was located at the far end of the room which was reminiscent of the Gothic architecture back home. She walked across the room, feeling the cold of the marble one minute followed by the warmth of a rug in the next. All of her senses seemed to be intensified. It was strange and bewildering to say the least. She glanced out the window and through the haze she immediately recognized the three enormous peaks of Thangorodrim in the foreground. She was somehow in Angband.
Buffy continued to stare out the window. Her vision seemed amplified and she was able to penetrate the thick walls of Thangorodrim and beyond. It was like her eyes had become super duper binoculars. She focused her energies on Mablung and soon she saw him with a small group of friends riding through Taurost. Túreb and Sador were now in his company. She then felt someone’s arms slide around her waist and she was gently pulled into an embrace. Looking down, she noticed the strangest thing. The hands of this individual were jet black to the wrist; from the wrist up the skin was porcelain white. She found his embrace to be oddly comforting. “At long last you have come to me, Melisse.” Buffy did not recoil when he called her ‘lover’. Instead she continued to look out the window; although she no longer focused her attention on Mablung and his endeavor. “I have longed for you throughout all the ages of the world. Why did you abandon me?” His voice was clear, melodious and beguiling. She knew that it was Morgoth speaking to her.

She turned and faced the Dark Lord who had caused her so much grief in the past and present. He was very tall and incredibly handsome. His long dark hair shimmered beneath the light of the lamps that hung from the ceiling. His eyes were a deep brown and they revealed a perceptive and indulgent mind. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she replied softly. Her mind was screaming for her to flee yet her heart told her to stay. And unfortunately, Buffy always followed her heart.

He looked at her keenly. “How is that possible? How can you not recollect…” A wry smile came upon his knowingly face. “I see,” he said more to himself than to her. “They have blinded you to your past, my dear Melisse.” He went to embrace her again, but Buffy moved away several paces. “And now you fear me.” He smiled. “That is good.” Buffy stayed about ten feet away from him. He slowly walked around her, studying her carefully. “You cannot imagine my surprise when I saw your face in Melian’s Mirror years ago.” Buffy was shocked by that statement but tried not to show it. “Oh, yes,” he continued. “I see all that goes on in this world for I am its King.” He continued circling her like a predator waiting to pounce on its prey. She remained perfectly still. “It has taken me many years to pierce your mind and bend your will towards me. To come to me as you have this night.”

“What do you want from me?” she asked timidly.

“What do I want?” He said aloud. “I want things to be as they once were. How they were destined to be. But then they changed the rules of the game. I curse them. I curse every one of them every day. You, what is it those peasants call you? Bellaseth? Bellaseth Dagnir?” He shook his head. He stopped and stood a few paces from her. “I am not your enemy Melisse. I have never been. That is, as long as you are on my side. That is why you are here whether you will it or not…Must we continue to battle one another for supremacy of these lands?” He asked with a gleam in his eyes. “Would it not serve us both to make an alliance and share the power?” He took a few steps forward and fell to one knee. He took her left hand in his. “You shall be my Queen and together…together we shall subjugate these lower beings to do our will as it has been foretold long ago.”

She pulled her hand from his grasp. “You’re lying…And you’re evil.” Buffy stammered. She desperately tried to be courageous but she was finding that to be extremely difficult. She knew that he had bewitched her. She felt it. It was similar to what she experienced with Dracula without all the star-struck nonsense. Her heart was racing as she continued, “I don’t want to control anybody and you shouldn’t either. That’s not the way it’s supposed to be. Manwë is King, not you, no matter how much you desire to overthrow him…” she shook her head. “It’ll never happen.”

He stood up again; tall and proud. “How dare you speak of me in that contemptuous tone. And within my own Halls no less.” His eyes showed his disdain. “I come to you offering an alliance…a truce…and you dare speak to me that way. You have dwelled far too long with those…elves…I have seen you dallying with Thingol’s Chief. That Mablung.” He turned from her and faced the window. “He will get what is coming to him.”

“You stay away from him,” she said firmly as her courage intensified. “I draw the line when it comes to my lover.”

He turned and faced her. He smiled. “And what am I?”

“You’re the devil!” she responded.

“The devil?” He laughed wildly. “Yes, I like that. You have always had a way with words.” He approached her again. “Oh sweet Melisse, what have they done to you?” he caressed her cheek. She could feel calluses on his fingers and palm. Despite her inner turmoil, she found his touch to be soothing. It made her…submissive. She couldn’t move away. “I can pull their veil from you. I can reveal all of your past including the good, the bad and…the ugly.”

Buffy contemplated this for several minutes. He knew she longed to know who she was and why she was here. The Powers played the same old games with her when it came to her past. But now Morgoth was making her an offer of a life time. “And what price would I have to pay for that? Nothing’s for free. Especially when the offer comes from you.”

“Must I repeat myself over and over?” He asked with an air of frustration to his voice. “You shall remain here as my Queen…”

“Not interested,” she quickly replied as she took a step back. His hand fell to his side. “I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing here, but I’m through.” She sneered at him as her confidence rose. “Why the hell The Powers set you free is beyond me. If I had my way, I’d never set you free. Look what you’re doing?” She grabbed his arm and pulled him to the window. “Look at that!” she demanded. From the window one could see the desolate ruins of the great works of Yavanna, the Vala whose domain was the governing of all things that sprout from the earth, from long ago. Thick grayish smoke hovered over the grounds which had an oily scent to it. Where lush grasses once grew the ground was now barren and resembled a desert. “You have single-handedly destroyed the works of The Powers. Your little paintings and portraits you have on your walls are a thing of beauty, but whatever you touch withers and decays. You long for what you can never have – including me!” She grabbed his hands. “Look at these! What dastardly deeds did you commit to be rewarded with these?”

His smile widened. “That is the Melisse I have known and loved.”

“You have no idea what love is! You’re filled with hatred and jealousy.” She let go of his hands.

He whispered in her ear, “And you too possess those same qualities. And tell me, what kind of love do you speak of? Love to you is uniting your body with another. And how many lesser beings have you adjoined with? Did you love them all? Or was it lust?” Buffy went to turn away but he grabbed her by the shoulders. “Do not preach righteousness to me! You are like me in more ways than you think. That whole ‘good girl’ act is nothing but an illusion. Deep down you know that. You are drawn to the darkness because it is a part of who you are. You do not follow the laws of Manwë whom you proclaim as King. You are an interloper in his world. If you are not with me than you are against me. I promise you this Melisse, if you do not align yourself with me than I will be forced to…”

“Kill me?” she suggested.

“Oh no my dear Bellaseth. That is too easy. I will hurt you in ways that will only maximize your suffering. This is your weakness,” he said as he pressed his hand to her heart. “If you thwart me than I shall have no other choice but to make your life a living hell…And that Melisse, is what I do best.”

“Go to hell!” She yelled as she pushed him away.

He firmly grabbed her by the shoulders. Buffy could feel his fingers clamped to her flesh. “Only if you come with me.” He moved closer. His face only inches from hers. “No more games…Now, let us work on removing that veil.”

Morgoth’s attempt to kiss her was prevented by a sudden right hook to his jaw. Buffy had no idea where her will to do so came from, but it came in the nick of time. “Get your filthy hands off me,” she exclaimed as she got into her fighting stance. Morgoth was taken aback by her blow. The pain was all too brief and his anger had now awakened.

“You have no power here,” he sneered as he rubbed his jaw. “This is my domain. You cannot fight me but if you wish to be treated as a whore than I shall grant you your wish.” As he moved in closer Buffy threw a right hook at him, sending him reeling to the floor.

“I may be small but I’m still stronger than you!” She said as she pinned down his much larger form on the cold stone floor.

He now wore a terrible smirk on his face which gave Buffy chill bumps. He pulled his blackened hand free and quickly grabbed a hold of her hair. This sent her neck backwards and soon their positions were reversed. “I do not think so,” he responded. “I brought you here out of friendship and love. And here you are attacking me for no apparent reason at all.” Buffy struggled but could not break free from his grasp. “Do you not see? How blind can you be? We are like Manwë and Varda, our powers are heightened when we are united. It is time for us to do just that.” He positioned his body on top of hers so that she was confined beneath him and unable to break free. His face came lower and lower. She felt his lips press against hers. She could feel them burning with lustfulness. His mouth wrestled with hers and he kissed her both hungrily and greedily. In spite of his aggressive behavior, Buffy felt her body responding in like manner. She wanted him with that same wanton fervor that she had only experienced with Spike. As they were rolling around on the floor in this passionate embrace, he began tearing at her gown. She found herself impulsively doing the same to him. He had some how found a way to unleash the animal within her…



Buffy awoke the following morning to the sound of larks singing on her window sill. The early morning light shot across the room signaling her to rise. Noticing that she was now in her own bed, she was relieved to discover it was only a dream…or nightmare. She was freaked out by the encounter, nightmare or not, and was left feeling extremely confused. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and crawled out of bed. To her dismay she was dressed in a torn black gown with a gilded belt that had little charms dangling from it. She ran to the bathroom in order to survey her appearance. She distinctively noticed several bruises on her arms and shoulders. After unclasping the belt she let the gown fall into a heap on the floor. Her body was covered in Morgoth’s passion marks. And where his finger touched her heart, there was now a darkened spot, much like her old birthmark that she had removed long ago. “Holy shit,” she mumbled to herself. “It was real.” Buffy felt sick to her stomach; running to the toilet, she vomited. When all the contents of her stomach were expelled she sat on the floor next to the bowl trembling. She was horrified. There was no doubt in her mind that he had somehow bewitched her. What if he does it again? She thought. I can’t go to Melian, what the hell would I say? The thing that disgusted her the most was that she enjoyed it. After sitting there several minutes, Buffy decided to pretend it never happened. She would have to deal with this one way or another. Perhaps Nestor could whip up a draught that could keep her awake. But first, she wanted to wash the filth of Morgoth off of her. She was covered in his scent.