Full Circle

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: NEVER LEAVE ME


Buffy applied Nestor's salve to the various markings that covered her body. She would not leave her chambers until they dissipated. There was no way she would be able to deal with the reaction of her friends nor their endless questions. Instead she wallowed in her self-contained asylum knowing that there was no way to pretend that this was not happening to her. Buffy's anguish grew even more when she learned that Orchal and Nestor had left early that morning for Ossir. They were supposed to stay throughout the summer but for some reason they left without bidding her farewell. Instead they sent word through a member of the household. In the back of her mind, she knew that Morgoth was behind this; he had something in store for her.

She remained alone within her chambers contemplating why Morgoth chose now to make his move. In order to think more clearly, Buffy decided to do some training. That usually helped clear her mind. The veil that Morgoth said would be removed after they 'adjoined' was still firmly intact. Her thoughts mostly drifted to past experiences in the 'modern world'. She recalled telling Giles about wanting to learn more about who she was after her encounter with Dracula. Now she wondered if Drac actually saw through that veil of concealment that was placed on her. He said her power was rooted in evil yet the first Slayer said she was filled with love. Did that mean at some point in time she loved being evil? No, she thought to herself. That's crazy talk.

Despite the number of people dwelling within her own halls, she felt so alone...isolated. She wished that she had someone she could confide this deep dark secret to, but she knew no one would understand. Every elf that Buffy knew despised Morgoth more than anything else in this world. She dare not even consult Melian about this new torment. The fact remained, she let it happen. And if she didn't figure out something soon, it was likely to happen again.

It's times like these when she longed for the wisdom of Giles. She knew if this was happening back home, Giles would be able to find some counter-spell in one of his numerous books. Daeron had created an alphabet, but the elves had very little use for reading. They possessed a photographic memory and had no desire to put those memories into print. And at this point in time, the elves didn’t write or possess books of spells and incantations or ancient scrolls that held the secret method of killing some particular big nasty. The fact remains, not one person in Beleriand really had any comprehension of what true evil was except Buffy …and Melkor.

She joined the rest of her household for lunch but remained sullen throughout the entire meal. They concluded that she was saddened by the fact that Orchal and Nestor had left while Mablung was still abroad. After she ate, she returned to her chambers telling the staff that she didn't want to be disturbed. She then spent a couple of hours meditating. She attempted to remain cool and collected, yet deep down inside she was frightened. While The Powers were evasive when it came to who she truly was, Morgoth was not. She knew in her heart that he held the key to her mysterious past.

In reality, she hated herself. She loved Mablung and wanted to become his wife yet her heart was now being drawn to Morgoth. Ever since the previous night all she wanted was to be with him. She yearned for him. She had been enthralled before and knew what it was like…but this was different. Being with him felt…right…and oddly familiar. And even as Buffy sat there, in that very moment, she could feel him yearning for her.
Buffy decided that a hot bath would help clear her mind. She submerged herself in the steamy water as the scent of lilac swiftly filled the chamber and put her mind at ease. She remained in the tub until the water had cooled and her fingers were pruney. Nestor’s miracle salve had worked wonders except for the mark on her chest. That spot seemed to darken even more and now it resembled a hammer. Buffy found that quite distressing.

She changed into a red dress that she wore only within the confines of her own home. It was much shorter than your average elvenwear and Thingol had forbade her to wear clothing that he deemed 'inappropriate' and 'too provocative'. We're talking mini-skirt length. Ironically, in the warm seasons, many of the men wore something similar. But no woman was allowed to wear anything that revealing in public. It was your typical male chauvinistic society. She pulled on a pair of black boots and topped off her ensemble with a lacy black coat that went nearly to the floor. Once she determined that her appearance was satisfactory she gracefully walked across her chamber and disappeared in a blinding white light.

She reappeared only moments later on a vast grassy deserted plane. The sun was beginning to descend in the west but the temperature was still quite pleasant. She proceeded to walk in knee-deep grass towards a cluster of pine trees. The trees seemed somewhat out of place; like they didn't belong there. There was a crystal clear spring near the sparsely treed area. As she began to walk through the trees she was stopped. Not by a person, but by the tree itself! "What the hell..." she said as the limbs blocked her way. She took a couple of steps backwards. "What the hell’s going on? Let me through!" She couldn't believe she was saying that, but she had heard from Melian herself about the Onodrim, the Shepherds of the Trees. And Buffy thought that she may have just encountered one.

"This way is blocked," said the pine tree in a high melodic voice. "None may enter, hmm, save Luinil or Hebor." Buffy's jaw hung open as she stared up at the ten-foot tall tree. Two almond shaped eyes peered down at the stunned Slayer. It had pine needles for eyelashes and its ‘hair’ stood up like little green spikes. Very strange. "Would you be Luinil or Hebor, hmm?" the tree asked her. It sounded female to Buffy.
Buffy finally closed her mouth and then opened it to answer. "I really don't know...You're an Onod, aren't you? One of those Shepherds that Melian told me about?"

The tree now bent slightly in the middle and looked down at Buffy. "You are no elfling, hmm" it said in the same high tone. "What might you be?"
"Good question," Buffy mumbled under her breath. "I'm the Slayer," she answered in her normal speaking voice. "The elves call me Bellaseth Dagnir. I live in Doriath and I'm also a knight of Thingol's Household."

"I have not heard of the Slayer before. Hmm. I have heard of Thingol though. He is both wise and a lover of trees. And Melian. I know her well," she replied thoughtfully. "Hmm, you keep good company. Hmm, yes, good company."

Buffy than asked the tree a question, "Um, you said that only Luinil or Hebor can pass. What is this place, if you don't mind me asking?" Buffy didn't see anything. Just a thin stand of trees.

"Hmm, I don't rightly know if I should divulge the secrets of this place to you. Hmm." The tree seemed to be studying Buffy closely.

"Well," Buffy began again. "Maybe you saw me back there..." she turned and pointed in the direction she came from.” But I just kind of appeared over there. I don't really know who Luinil or Hebor are, but I am a warrior. I've even been called a champion…well, back in the day...I’m a slayer of demons, monsters and other beastly creatures of the night...And for some reason I was...brought here. So, I kind of think that I'm supposed to be here...even if it's an evil place." Buffy wore a curious expression, "Is this an evil place?"

"Yes...and hmm, no." replied the tree after several moments. "I see curiosity in your eyes. Hmm, and I believe that you speak the truth. That too, I see in your eyes. The eyes are the gateway to the soul, hmm," it continued. "Did you know that?"

"Yeah, kind of," answered the Slayer.

The tree stood upright again. "Bellaseth Dagnir, hmm..." The tree looked towards the sky. One of its branches moved to a knob on the tree, which Buffy thought resembled a chin. Well, a chin for a tree. "Perhaps I may have heard that name long ago...Hmm, Dagnir…sounds somewhat familiar. Hmm." It lowered its branch and looked at Buffy once again. "Dagnir, is death not your gift?" Buffy’s jaw dropped open once again. She hadn't heard those words applied to her in a long time. And now this tree was saying those same words, more or less, that she had heard from the first Slayer long ago.

"I've been told that before," she said sadly. She had many talents other than slaying.

The tree laughed which freaked Buffy out. It sounded deeper than its speaking voice and the earth seemed to vibrate. Besides, she wasn't expecting laughter at that particular moment. "Then you are Luinil...Hmm, that is good. Very good. Is Hebor not with you? Hmm, because I thought that hmm, you were to come together."

“Why do you called me Luinil?” questioned a very confused Slayer. “And I sure don’t know anyone named Hebor. Do you think you’ve got the name wrong? Maybe it’s something else.”

"No. Hmm. I never forget names and I have been here a long while now. Hmm, I know the names Luinil and Hebor, but not the faces. Hmm. I was told only names, nothing more. But I shan’t forget your face, Luinil, now that I have seen it. Hmm…Your raiment is strange though. I shan’t forget that either." The passageway was now unblocked. "You may pass, if it is your will..."

"What will I find?" queried Buffy as she looked around the tree waiting for some mystical place to appear.

"I am but a sentinel. Thônel, I am called. But what awaits you on the other side...hmm remains to be seen. And not by me." One of its limbs gave Buffy a gentle push forward.

She walked several paces and then vanished into a nether realm. She turned around and was now devoured by the darkness. She stretched out her arms feeling around and felt a stony wall on either side. She couldn't feel anything over her head. Buffy concluded that she was in some tunnel. "Damn," she said aloud as she slowly started forward. Gradually a light began to illuminate. Not a light light. But Buffy herself seemed to emit a white light. She examined her arms which resembled white glow sticks. It was pretty cool. It wasn't like the bright light that encompasses her when she disappears, but a soft glow. Like a low wattage light bulb. She could make out the pathway much easier as she continued down the twisting and turning tunnel. It was much longer than she anticipated. It took her thirty minutes to reach a huge cavernous chamber. Large stalactites hung from the ceiling and the stalagmites stood proudly from the floor. She had no idea what that place was or why she was there.

All of a sudden, her body ceased emitting the light and she found herself consumed by darkness again. There was silence except for the sound of trickling water coming from the far end of the chamber. Buffy then experienced a weird feeling. A tingly sensation that made the hair on her arms stand on end. She felt a presence. She was no longer alone. "Who’s there?" she demanded as she slowly turned to face whatever else was in there with her.

"Luinil,” a voice said in her head. And it wasn't her voice either. She couldn't tell if it was male or female, or a combination of both. It was powerful and beautiful, joyful and sorrowful, all at the same time. She had never heard anything like it. She continued to slowly turn in a small circle expecting someone to jump her at any moment. "I know you are confused, child." the voice continued soothingly. "Do not be alarmed. You have nothing to fear...from me."

"Who are you?" she queried as she continued to look around anxiously. "Are you one of the Powers?"

There was silence and then the voice said, “It is not in my power to reveal my identity as of yet. That will come…in time.” Buffy hated hearing that ‘in time’ bit. It was getting old. “There is much that needs to be done and all the inhabitants of Arda shall depend on you…”

“For what?” she questioned.

“To maintain the balance of good and evil.” The voice replied. “Melkor has been toiling in secret for many long years. He has fashioned creatures of the most nefarious kind. Soulless beings that are bound to serve only the will of their master. Yet even more tragic are the Ainur whom he corrupted long ago and they are now accounted amongst his most devoted servants…they are deadly, Luinil. For they cannot be wholly killed. Their bodies may be broken but they possess the abilities to make their flesh anew. That is of great concern. For that is where your destiny lies, child.”

“I don’t understand how that concerns me,” stated a perplexed Buffy.

“Look around you Luinil.” The voice instructed. “What do you see?”

Buffy chuckled. “Um, I don’t really see anything but darkness.”

“Then you are not looking hard enough…Look again…now tell me what you see,” said the voice.

“Listen Vala…or being of unknown origins…or whatever you wanna be called. I don’t see anything…” It was then that Buffy did see something. Not exactly what she was expecting, but she saw it nonetheless. It was a vision. A great fortress that went deep beneath the earth. “It looks like a holding chamber of some sort,” she said aloud.

“Very good. You have seen it. It is your destiny to bring it into being.”

“How?” asked the Slayer. “I don’t know anything about excavating rocks. I’m more into weaving, sewing, cooking…things of that nature. Not hard manual labor. That’s men’s work. And it’s definitely not a requirement for being a Slayer.”

“We would not have you take on such a task if it could not be accomplished. There are those who are destined to aid you in this endeavor,” the voice said. “Your fate is intertwined with the children of Aulë.”

“Children of Aulë? Sounds like some new pop group or something,” she said jokingly. “I gotta tell you, I’ve never heard of them…so, where would I find these ‘children of Aulë’?”

“You have already met them have you not? They are called Naugrim or Dwarves by the elves. I believe that you are familiar with those names.”

“Oh…Yeah, I’m pretty friendly with Drór; he’s one of the lords of Belegost. Hell of a nice guy…”

The voice interrupted her. “I do not speak of the dwarves of Belegost. You must seek the High Lord of all the Dwarves, Durin; his dwelling is known as Khazad-Dûm which lies deep under the Misty Mountains.”

“Where the spirits go now…over the hills where the spirits fly, ooh...”

“Are you singing?” said the voice in a flabbergasted tone.

“Well, you said Misty Mountains, so that made me think of the song Misty Mountain Hop. Ya know, by Led Zeppelin.”

“I would think that a Slayer would take her work more seriously,” the voice said in a slightly annoyed tone.

“Maybe I would if I could get some straight answers from you people,” Buffy shot back in frustration. “I’m gonna take a wild guess that you’re some higher being…probably one of The Powers…So now it’s time to play a round of ‘What’s the Slayer’s Thinking?’ Ever play?” she asked. “Didn’t think so,” she said quickly after. “Let’s see. I have like a gazillion questions running through my mind. But first, if you don’t play then don’t expect me to help you people. I’m tired of not knowing a damn thing about me or about why I’m here and …all the crazy shit that is currently going on in my life…Tell me, what I’ve been thinking about the most lately?” Before the voice could reply Buffy quickly continued, “Well let me give you a hint. For some reason I’m having these weird and creepy nocturnal visits from one Melkor Bauglir…Morgoth…The Dark Lord…whatever you damn people call him. And for some reason these nocturnal visits are…of an intimate nature. And for some reason that repulses me to no end, I am unable to resist the charms of that disgusting, murderous, evil…ah…vile…um…” Once she spoke those words aloud, she regretted it. She wanted to take them back. She became crestfallen. Buffy fell silent for several minutes before asking dejectedly, “Why am I in love with Melkor? Why can’t I control myself when I’m with him?…Why are you letting him do these things to me?” Her last words echoed in the empty chamber. All she heard was the sound of dripping water.
Buffy stood there for what seemed to be an eternity. “It’s unfair, ya know,” she said aloud as she shuffled her feet in the darkness in search of the tunnel. “To be all alone…” At last Buffy’s body began emitting that soft light again, allowing her to find the exit of that mystical place.

She stepped through the magical barrier and found herself in the small grove of pine trees. The sun was already setting and the sky was a pinkish-orange color. As she walked through the trees, she heard Thônel ask, “Did you find what you were searching for?”

Buffy looked over her shoulder as she continued to walk. “No,” she said with a heavy heart. “I’m on my own.” She stopped for a moment and looked to the southwest. Her eyes pierced through all obstacles, hundreds of miles away until she saw what she presumed to be the Misty Mountains. They were shrouded in mist, so she assumed that had to be the home of Durin, High Lord of all Dwarves. Buffy wasn’t in the mood to start on the task that was assigned to her by whomever she had just encountered in that cave. Why should she bend over backwards for them, when they won’t even provide her with some simple answers to the most troubling of questions? It reminded her of the Watcher’s Council and that whole ordeal she went through with Angel. They had the antidote, but refused to give it to her because he was a vampire. The Council didn’t give a damn that he had a soul or that he was an instrument of The Powers. The hell with them all, thought Buffy. Wearily she continued to walk until she disappeared in a blinding light.

To Buffy’s surprise she actually arrived back home. She was back in her own bedchamber feeling terribly depressed and lonely. She reached under her mattress and pulled out the belt that she had hidden there earlier in the day. She examined it closely and shook it so that it made that tinkling noise that sounded like music to her ears. It was a thing of such magnificent beauty that the Slayer felt compelled to put it back on.

She poured herself a glass of wine and walked out on the balcony. Her eyes scanned the woods that surrounded her home and she could hear much mirth on the patio below her. The Slayer was in no mood for merrymaking of any kind. Her mind went back to the words of the ‘beings unknown’ and the cave. The Powers, or someone with a greater power than her, want her to construct a holding chamber with some dwarves that she never heard of. That sounded completely insane to her. She wasn’t a construction worker or architect or engineer. She was just Buffy…or Bella. Or was she?

In need of a refill, Buffy turned to go back inside. Somehow she managed to walk right into a closed French door causing the glass to shatter in her hand. “Damnit!” she mumbled to herself as she let the jagged pieces fall to the floor. Blood oozed from the deep cut between her thumb and forefinger. She went straight to the bathroom and pressed a clean towel on it. It was deep and the white towel soon matched the color of her dress. Before she was able to find some medicine for it, she vanished in a blinding light.

Buffy was not at all surprised to find herself in Morgoth’s chambers. She was still holding the towel firmly on her wound. All of her attention was focused on that so she didn’t notice when Morgoth came from behind her. “Melisse, you are hurt.” She said in a compassionate tone. “Let me see.” He gently took her hand and pulled the towel away. “It is deep…I can mend it.” He raised her hand towards his mouth.

“What are doing?” she asked.

“I shall heal your wound,” he responded. His tongue darted out of his mouth like a serpent and he licked the open gash a couple of times. Buffy watched in amazement as her hand was miraculously healed by Morgoth’s saliva. She then flexed her hand a few times. There was no pain or any sign that it had been cut only a few minutes before.

“How did you do that?” she questioned.

“It is part of my powers. You, too, possess such skills.” Buffy raised her eyebrows. She doubted his words. Morgoth must have perceived her mind because he followed it up with, “You do not believe me, do you?” She shook her head. “Then I shall show you.” He looked down at the belt that was clasped around her waist. “It brings me great joy to see that you are wearing the gift that I made for you.”

“You made it?” asked a surprised Slayer.

“Indeed.” Now the fact that Morgoth made something of such beauty was one thing, but apparently Buffy really didn’t understand what that belt really was until that moment. He grasped a small dagger charm in his hand and then presto! It was now a full size dagger.

“That is too cool for words,” the Slayer said excitedly. “How’d you do that?”

He laughed at her words. “Oh my darling Melisse. I shall teach you things beyond your reckoning.” He took the dagger and ran the blade across his hand. Blood began spilling out of the incision. “Lick it,” he instructed. Buffy’s face showed her disgust. “My blood is not poisoned. It will not hurt you. In fact, it tastes as sweet as yours.” He held his hand up to her face. “Do it,” he ordered.

Buffy watched as his blood started to drip onto the black marble floor. She took his hand in hers and then awkwardly licked his cut. In a matter of seconds the wound closed up. It looked as good as before. “I can’t believe it,” she stammered. “I can’t believe I did it. How is this possible?”

He smiled at her as the dagger reverted back to a charm and he placed it back on her belt. “The secret to all life is blood, Melisse,” he began. “Our blood is extremely powerful and can serve several purposes. We can share it with others in order to make them stronger…or we can create whole new races of beings with only a few drops. It is the most powerful substance in Arda. I am the only one who has truly learned its properties. How do you think that the yrch and vampires came into being?”

“It was your blood?” asked a shocked and disbelieving Buffy.

“That and a little magic goes a long way. Together, you and I are unstoppable. We can do anything that our hearts desire. The world will be at our mercy. That is the way it is supposed to be.” He took both of her hands in his. “Years ago when I heard that a Slayer had arrived in Middle-earth, I was greatly dismayed. But when I discovered that it was my Melisse, I rejoiced. I always knew that we would one day be reunited. Our love is so great that we are able to break any barriers that separate us. We are…invincible.”

Buffy found herself wrapping her arms around him. She felt…complete. Whole. After all these years, she found what she was looking for. There was no more confusion. This was meant to be. “Promise me,” she said as she placed her cheek on his chest. “Promise me, that you’ll never leave me.” She looked up into his deep brown eyes. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“I promise Melisse. I swear by everything that I hold dear that I will never leave you.” He kissed her sweetly on the lips. “I have had a feast prepared for you, my love. We shall stay within my chambers tonight…for this will be the most important night of our lives.”

Buffy smiled back at him. “It already is,” she said lovingly.

Morgoth led her to yet another chamber. A forty-foot long table was laden with an assortment of foods. It was only the two of them yet there were at least a dozen different entrees to choose from. They each took a seat at opposite ends. For some reason this scenario reminded her of an Simpsons episode. And Morgoth was none other than Mr. Burns. She half expected him to tent his fingers and say ‘excellent.’ Buffy construed that Morgoth in many ways was similar to that cartoon character. Despite that thought, Buffy found the food to be quite delicious. She never expected to have a feast like that, especially with Morgoth…and in Angband, no less.

After their meal, they went into yet another one of Morgoth’s chambers. This was his private bedchamber. The sound of wild music began to play from somewhere within the fortress as they entered that room. It was so unlike the music of the elves and dwarves, but Buffy found herself moving to the beat. It was repetitious and loud and reminiscent of rock music in modern times. And she would never have guessed that Morgoth was quite the dancer.

Of course this dance was more or less like foreplay. As the beat became faster so did their movements, which became more and more sexual. They undressed each other to the music until it culminated into a passionate lovemaking session. So powerful was their union that the ground literally shook. We’re talking a genuine, full-blown earthquake that would have registered a five plus on the Richter scale. It was the most euphoric experience that the Slayer had ever encountered. Good and evil had just become unified.



The following morning Buffy awoke in Morgoth’s bedchamber. He was watching her intently with his head resting on his propped up arm. “Blessed be the morning,” he said to her. “I hope that you slept well.” His other hand was gently caressing her stomach.

“Oh yeah,” she replied. “I don’t think I’ve ever slept that soundly before.”

“That is good to hear. Last night was very special,” he said as he pulled her into his arms.

“We rocked the house…Literally.” She added with a chuckle. “I’ve gotta tell your Melkor, I’ve never known sex to be so…”

“Perfect?” he suggested.

“I was thinking powerful but perfect fits the bill too.” She placed several kisses on his bare chest. “What’s this?” she asked as she noticed that there was a strange mark over his heart. It was a deep blue color and resembled a crucifix. “I’ve never noticed that before.”

He glanced down at the mark smiling as he continued his caresses. “That is because I received it only last night.” Buffy looked at him with a bewildered expression. “You do not understand?” he questioned. “I have been branded with your symbol.” He then pointed to the ‘hammer’ mark on her. “As you have with mine. We have bound ourselves together…in more ways than one.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Can you not tell?” he asked with a surprised tone to his voice. “I guess you cannot.” He held her close and said, “My dear Melisse, you now carry my seed.”