No Home Here

Chapter Fifteen: Brotherly Doubt

It was barely dawn: light was only just starting to grace Arda with its warming presence, and birds were just starting to warble out the notes of their first songs of the new day. Yet already a few people in the little town of Sansdale were up and moving about the sleepy little village.

Old Sam the gatekeeper was at his post by the door in the palisade, waiting patiently for his breakfast. In the back of his mind he wondered what was taking Engle so long: usually she was prompt, and sometimes she even beat him to his post.

His thoughts wandered to the boy that he had sheltered a few nights ago. He knew that he was staying with Engle and her twin terrors at the boarding house, but hadn’t seen the boy since dawn two days ago. Thinking a bit further along the subject, he wondered if in fact it was that… here he struggled for the name for a moment… Estel that was keeping his grandniece from being on time.

He snorted in mock indifference, and settled back on the wooden bench where he sat for the most part of the day. The slate-gray sky still spoke of snow, and a chilly nip in the air would have made the old man shiver had he not been bundled up in his coat and cloak.

Abruptly he was jerked from his thoughts when the sound of hooves striking the cobblestone street reached his ears. The swift hoof beats sounded to Sam’s well-trained ears as if there were at least two horses, and that they wanted to leave the town as soon as possible. His curiosity ignited, the old man leaned forwards in his seat, straining slightly fuzzy eyes to make out the riders sooner.

Eventually three horses appeared: two black steeds and one that was a dapple gray. Graceful, hooded riders with an excellent saddle seat topped the black horses, but Sam hardly noticed them, his eyes drawn instead to the familiar gray gelding. Perched atop the familiar horse was the little not-so-elven child.

He nearly smiled. Now that he saw him alongside two elves (for Engle had filled him in on the race of Estel’s brothers the previous morning) he saw that the similarities were, indeed, astonishing. He waved as the three horses clattered down the lane, then stood up and shuffled to the gate, which he proceeded to unlatch and heave open.

As he grappled with the heavy piece of wood, old Sam heard snippets of conversation from the three riders behind him.

“…Don’t know what you were thinking…”

“But…”

“No, I won’t fall for that again…”

“…Till Ada hears about this…”

Frowning, the old man finally maneuvered the gate wide enough for the horses to ride through. Turning back to the three brothers, Sam noticed how the two identical elves on the black horses were frowning, while Estel looked rather confused. Quickly, however, all three faces were schooled into polite smiles. The elves nodded respectfully as they filed through the gap in the palisade, while the young man gave a brief smile and mouthed a “thank you” to the old gatekeeper.

Shaking his head at the retreating backs of the three travelers, Sam heaved the door in the gate shut, wondering just how much less excitement the little town would experience now that they had gone.


~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-


“Elladan?”

The elf sighed, trying to bite back the frustration that was welling up deep within his chest. He had been trying to ignore his human brother’s sniffles for most of the day now, but every time he looked back the boy’s nose would be running or his eyes would be closed. The dark-haired elf knew that he should be worried about the young man, but at that moment no sympathy was presenting itself.

Elladan chewed his lower lip agitatedly. Why did the boy always have to go and get himself into trouble? First a snowstorm, and now this! Shaking his head, Elladan slowly turned his body on the horse’s back so that he was almost facing his little brother.

“What is it, Estel?” He asked, trying to keep the iciness that he was feeling towards the young man out of his voice. Apparently it did not work too well, for the raven-haired edain flinched and dropped his gaze to his saddle. Elrohir also turned his head back to look at his twin, giving Elladan a perturbed glance.

“N-never mind…” Estel said quietly, the dejected look on his face causing Elladan to feel a pang of guilt. Quickly, however, the elf regained his former state of mind.

‘If he hadn’t assailed those boys back in Sansdale, we would still be back at the boarding house. Then Estel would be resting instead of worsening his illness, we could be stocking up on supplies for the return journey, and none of us would be angered at another!’ He thought with a frustrated air.

But the little voice at the back of his head didn’t allow him peace of mind after that thought. Are you sure that Estel is the one responsible? It nagged. How on earth could he have attacked those boys? He is still sick! Elladan snuck another glance at the boy on the horse behind him. Estel was tracing the embroidered pattern on his saddle blanket with a finger, not looking at the path in front of him and blindly trusting his brothers to lead him right.

At the sight Elladan almost chuckled, but thought the better of it. ‘That would certainly get their attention.’ He thought. ‘But not necessarily in a good way.’ Now thoroughly irritated, the elf drummed his fingers on his thigh, waiting for nightfall and whatever that might bring.


~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-


Elrohir swung off of his horse almost lazily, breathing in the deep, pine-laden scent of the small clearing that they had halted in. The sun was dipping under the trees, and about time, in the elf’s opinion.

Their ride that day had been anything but enjoyable: while usually the brothers bantered and laughed their way through a journey, there was only silence the whole day. When one of the three did break the eerie quiet, they had, without fail, ended up getting snapped at by one or both of the others.

‘We really need to do something about this.’ Elrohir thought with a glance at his twin. Elladan, for his part, had been scowling for almost their entire ride. The dark-haired elf could almost sympathize with his identical brother: Estel’s actions were certainly regrettable.

But still, Elladan could at leas have made an effort to be civil towards the young man. It was quite obvious that Estel wasn’t feeling well at all. Elrohir’s eyes swept over his younger brother, quickly ascertaining whether he had improved any during the day. Regrettably, it was not so, and now the elf slapped his horse’s flank appreciatively before moving over to the man’s side.

“Here, Estel let me check your breathing.” He murmured, lifting the back of his tunic and pressing a hand between the boy’s shoulder blades before his brother could protest. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to adjust his breathing to the rhythm of Estel’s breaths.

Still with shut eyes, Elrohir frowned deeply. His body was telling him that he wasn’t getting enough oxygen as he was used to when he breathed as Estel was doing.. Sighing, he slid his hand out from beneath his brother’s shirt, placing it instead on his shoulder and bending over so that his face was close to Estel’s left ear.

“Why did you not tell us that you weren’t feeling well?” He asked, squeezing the boy’s shoulder reassuringly. “We would have stopped. Now I’m afraid we have waited too long.” Estel shook his head slowly.

“I…” He paused, looking slightly guilty. “I tried.” He whispered, for Elrohir’s ears only.

The elf grimaced as if he had been physically struck. Now that his thoughts dwelt on the subject, he realized that Estel had indeed tried to speak to the angry twins several times, only to be silenced by a cold stare or sarcastic remark. Elrohir’s heart ached at the thought of how betrayed his younger sibling must be feeling.

‘Almost as betrayed as we felt when he admitted to attacking the twins.’ He thought, the scowl flickering back over to cover his features. He still couldn’t get over the fact that Estel had blatantly disobeyed every moral code and rule that their father had laid down for them and had assaulted the boys.

Doubt gently tickled the back of his mind, telling the elf that the Estel that he knew and loved wouldn’t do such a thing, but it was quickly silenced by the louder voice telling him that Estel had, indeed, confessed to the act.

‘But did he actually ever admit to having done it?’ He asked himself. Shaking his head in frustration, Elrohir turned his attention back to his younger brother. He patted his shoulder in a half-hearted, encouraging sort of way before moving over to where Elladan was removing their packs from the horses’ backs. The elf easily located Estel’s bag, and set it to the side, along with the young man’s bedroll.

Elrohir motioned to his twin to start a fire, and then went to work on laying out his edain brother’s sleeping roll.

“Come here, Estel.” He said softly, beckoning to his brother with a free hand. Shuffling footsteps were heard on the dry ground, and then Estel was beside him, uncertainty etched deep into his young face. ‘Why does he worry so?’ Thought Elrohir. ‘He shouldn’t have to be bothered about anything! Valar, he’s but a child!’

The elf kept his stern façade, however, and was careful not to let any harsh emotions show on his face.

“Lie down, tithen gwador.” He said in a soothing voice. “I will help you to sleep.” As Estel settled himself on his stomach, Elrohir rubbed his back calmingly; humming a soft melody from his own childhood days while the future king of men fell asleep under his gaze.