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Now, on with the story!____________________
You are Arda...
The words kept playing over and over again Syah’s mind. Words failed her, her breathing grew rapid with her fear of this new knowledge. All she could do was stare blankly at her ancestor.
“You embody the spirits of this time,” Sierra continued. “Men, Elves, Ents, the Forest. You even have the stubbornness of a dwarf,” she briefly smiled. “But your soul, Syah...your soul is that of Arda.”
Finally finding her voice, Syah asked, “What does that mean? Who does that make me?”
“It makes you...you. Arda breathed life into you when you were still in womb of your mother. Your time, our time, is much different than this one. My daughter should have been raised here, but it was not possible. Something stayed inside of her and it was passed down through generations of her children. That is, until it met you,” Sierra paused, hoping this was making some sense to her great-grandchild. When she saw that Syah was retaining this information, she went on. “Somehow, the earth knew you were conceived. It felt you, felt your life starting. In you, the past found a release.”
“A release?”
“Yes, a release. Each generation felt things, but you were a full empath even in the womb. Not all of Lorien’s children showed signs of her elven heritage. They all had the spirit of the forest, as did all of the children on my side of the family, from my mother and back. But not all of them had pointed ears, nor the hearing and seeing ability of the elves. Not all of them had the spirit of the Kings of Rohan. But you had them all and more.”
“What did you mean by ‘you are Arda’?” Syah asked, the words ringing her ears still.
Sierra knew this was going to be difficult to explain. Because of her empathy, Syah was the gate to the past. At her conception, Arda entered her and filled her with the past, filled her with gifts not even Sierra knew of. Being in the past was awakening these gifts. Galadriel could feel it, but not grasp it because it was beyond her. It was ancient and before her time, beyond the time of her ancestors.
“Sierra?”
Sierra looked at her again. “You can feel it, Syah. You can feel the life of every plant, every tree, every body of water, every animal. Your gifts grow stronger everyday you are here. Arda breathed itself into you. You were born the walking, talking version of Earth. Just with your presence, you have changed things. Gave more hope to those who did not have it. You can feel the danger that Sauron brings to this time. You feel the evil. When you shut your soul off Syah, you shut, literally, the Earth off. Boromir opened it again, and now, in the passing days, Arda will breathe again inside of you. Stronger. It needs you to be strong, Syah. It needs you to rise and to give hope to its People. Arda cannot do it alone. Arda feels it all, it bears the brunt of Sauron’s and Saruman’s evil. It feels the despair of all the life that walks here and it mourns for it. Arda mourns and you mourn. It is why it lives in you.”
“What?”
“It lives in you because you can feel life, through your empathy you can feel life. Your heritage makes that twice as strong. Arda chose you because of this. You were meant to be here.”
This was all too much for Syah! She had begun to feel everything stronger and things were happening to her that did not make sense, yet now they were beginning too. Oh how she wished for her friends to be here!
She looked at Sierra, not sure what to say or ask but Sierra waited for her to speak. Her great-grandmother was sent here to do something as well. What was it? “What were you sent here for?”
“To protect the forests in the first War of the Ring. The spirit of the forest was strong in me and while I could not speak to it as you can, I could feel the danger it was in. The forest told of the dangers they were in, the ancient forests. The past reached out to touch me that way.”
Then, suddenly, something dawned on Syah. “I woke the trees when I arrived in this time. Merry and Pippin must have been the pebbles that start an avalanche and the trees began to move again. But I woke them. And I awoke hope in Elrond and Galadriel at first sight because they remembered you. Because just by your presence you set events into motion that helped win the war.”
Sierra nodded, smiling sadly.
“Oh, Gods!” Syah cried. “I am going to feel it all! The loss of life, the pain of Arda! I am going to feel it!”
Sierra touch her slightly glowing hand to Syah’s cheek. “Do not be afraid of these things! Do not try to shut down again, doing so could mean a different ending to this War. Do not push aside feelings meant to be felt and endured. Everyone feels loss Syah but you feel it too many times over. Arda is in you. It is asking you to bear this burden to help save her! Do not fear feeling, Syah. It would be denying who you are. Who I am. Your ancestors...your mother!”
Syah began to cry, almost as hard as when she cried to Boromir. Sierra pulled her in close, letting Syah feel the touch of family once again. “You are Arda, Syah. You are life. Do not fight this. Do not fight what your road is. It will destroy who you are. You are our family, Syah. We live in you. All of us, the ones who left you alone on this earthly plain, live inside of you. Use us for strength. Use us to heal you...”
******************
When Syah woke it was dawn. The men were getting closer, as were her friends. Just lying there on the ground, Syah could feel the heavy loss of life on them. A battle had taken place and many were now dead. She felt it. Felt it strongly.
She was Arda...
All of what Sierra had said to her was now settling into her mind. She now had many other questions she wanted to ask of her great-grandmother but Sierra was not gone, back to halls of the dead. Where did that leave her? She was afraid of all the feeling! Afraid it would leave her numb again. That she would shut down again. It strangely did not frighten her to let her friends into her soul, not anymore. It frightened her to lose them, to lose the touch of them inside of her. Especially Legolas. She wished now, out of all of them, that he was holding her. She needed his touch...
Her horse nudged her to get up and walked around. She obliged. “You know,” she said as they walked in circles on the ledge. “I am going to tell Legolas I love him. I am going to tell the others as well.”
The horse looked at her disbelievingly.
She stopped walking at gave him a look of hurt. “Well, I am. As soon as I get the chance and it feels right, I will tell them. In any way I can, I will tell them.”
The horse nodded at her. Syah smiled. “I know what you are thinking horse, and it has nothing to do with my new gifts!”
The horse whinnied and began to walk again. She talked to the horse as she ate and kept her eyes on the hundreds of men riding towards her. It was sunset and she standing on the edge of the ledge. She breathed in and was suddenly washed over by feelings, the feelings of the men. They were all willing to die for this cause. They were willing to die for their people, their families, their country. There was really no fear in them. How strange, she thought, that none of the men were truly afraid of what fate may have in store for them.
She felt something else stir inside of her then, something like...pride. Arda was proud of these men and their next deed. And Syah realized she was too. If these men could make such a selfless decision, why could she not give them what Arda wanted her too? She decided then, looking into the sea of men, that she would do what Sierra had told her to. She would draw on the strength of her ancestors, and draw on the knowledge that Arda had waiting for her. She would take it all in and endure it because it was her path to take. Her road to walk and she would walk it the best she could, for however long she needed to. She would die with each fallen warrior. She would cry with each loved one left behind. She would give hope to those who needed it. She would endure the pain and grief that befell Arda and her spawn. It was her fate.
She would be strong for her friends and for Arda. She would make her ancestors proud of her. Her parents proud. And she would love like she had never loved before, without fearing every heartache that could come from that love. And she would never again bow down to her grief!
