Daring to Dream

Daring to Dream

Chapter Two

Karna awoke suddenly, sticky and hot within the stuffy room, she rose quietly, stealing softly between the straw mattresses, she entered the other room, moving gladly towards the cracked jug that still sat upon the table from the previous night. She rinsed her face thankfully, drying it with a bit of rag. It was a moment before she noticed Karlis, sitting hunched up and alone in a corner. In surprise, Karna approached her sister, and kneeled beside her, placing a gentle hand upon her shoulder. Karlis jumped visibly and turned, wild-eyed to stare at her sister; and in that moment, Karna saw how young she was. Small and chubby, Karlis had been a sweet child, always laughing and giggling, she had charmed even the gruffest of old men. That child had grown into a sweet little girl who had grown in beauty every day to become a young woman; but Karna now saw the child that still lurked beneath, saw the girl who was nearly, but not quite yet a woman.

“Why do you cry, my dear one?” she asked, gently wiping the tears from those pale cheeks, “what do you?” Karlis stared at her sister for a moment, before visibly crumbling and sobbing softly on to her sister’s shoulder. In response, Karna gently rocked her as she once had when her sister was a little girl.

After a time, her sobs stilled, and Karlis looked at her oldest sister with red eyes, that same fear still lurking there.

“Oh Karna. I know that I should be joyful for this chance, for this marriage to a man for whom I truly care … but I am afraid. I do not feel ready … I … I have never had a home of my own, and I have no experience of men …” Gently, Karna hugged her sister, wishing that there were some way to just stop this for a few months, a year maybe, to give Karlis some time to grow up, to truly become a woman.

But there was none.

“Oh my sister,” she said, tenderly stroking Karlis’ hair, “You know that Ahoz is a good man, and he truly cares for you. You have no reason to fear, do not cry, my dear one. Tash smiled upon you and has blessed this marriage; you shall be happy and have a home. Just imagine it. You shall have a home and just Ahoz to feed, there will not be seven people sleeping within one room, just the two of you, and you shall be able to feed and cook for just one man, to start a family of your own. You are greatly blessed, oh my sister.” Karlis was still for a moment, then, gradually, as the truth of Karna’s words dawned upon her, a smile spread slowly over her face.

However, she was unable to speak, as the next moment, Tarsheesh strode into the room and to the surprise of both sisters, put his hand upon Karlis’ head, coming as close to a caress as he ever did.

“Oh my daughter, this is a great day, to see you married to so worthy a man is proof of Tash’s benevolence and goodness, may you prosper this day.” Acting her role, Karlis lowered her eyes, thanking her father in the role of dismissive daughter. Tarsheesh actually smiled for a moment, nodding to her, before he glowered at Karna and shoved her roughly in the direction of the door, “fetch water and hurry about it. We want none of your usual dawdling on so important a day as this.”

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After a hurried preparation, the bride’s family were ready to accept the wedding guests for the breakfast, and, in view of all, Karlis received her father’s blessing. In an ornamented gown of red and gold, she looked beautiful, a simple wreath of flowers crowned her dark hair with a gauzy veil pinned beneath them. A necklace of bronze and silver coins adorned her neck, representative of her dowry, with earrings of real silver hanging from her ears, delicate and lovely.

With the blessing finished, the bridal party left the home of Tarneesh, chanting and singing as the bride was led down the streets to the home of her husband-to-be’s family. There, amongst the flowers and well wishers, Ahoz and Karlis said their vows, praying that Tash bless their union, overseen by the local elders, old men, respected among the local community who nodded solemnly upon the finishing of the ceremony.

Thus was Karlis married, and, after the wedding dinner, the couple were led away to their new home, a couple of rooms that had been purchased within another back alley, not far from the meat market, though a fifteen minute walk from her old home. Without caring, Karna dared the wrath of her stepfather, and kissing her sister a final time before the wedding party departed, leaving the couple alone for the night.

When within the privacy of his own home, Tarneesh gave full vent of his anger upon Karna for her sudden action,

“Had you no thought for the honour of our family, you stupid girl?” he demanded, “Do you know how blemished our honour is now, thanks to your burst of emotion, you piece of filth?” As he advanced, she backed away, fearing the wrath that blazed in his eyes,

“I sought only to comfort her…” she began, only to be struck so hard across the face that she was knocked off her feet.

“You will speak only when you are spoken to, you bastard! I should never have taken in so ungrateful a tramp as you, your mother has done well, bourn me four children, but what good have you ever done? No, you only consume my food, eat away at the money that I need to feed my own family. You are worthless, you have no value, and you are the spawn of a traitor.” So enraged was Tarneesh that he kicked out at Karna, catching her hard against her side, an action that caused Karna to curl up, desperately trying to protect her head with her arms as he continued to kick her.

In the end, he stopped, his anger abated, leaving Karna upon the floor, he strode into the next room, shouting to his wife for warm water.

Only when her husband had finally been prepared for bed, and he was soundly asleep did she dare to approach Karna, gently bathing her daughter’s face with warm water until she regained consciousness.

Silently weeping as her mother tended her bruises and cuts with a special cream, Karna let the tears fall, feeling desolate and alone, she longed to escape, to just die right then, to leave her world of loneliness and pain. However, to the feel of another’s touch, gently stroking her hair, she opened her eyes to see the sorrowful gaze of Tarlana watching her. For she had dared the wrath of her father to come and comfort her step-sister, yet she had done it, and it touched Karna more deeply than she had expected, bringing fresh tears to her eyes, but this time, tears of gladness in the midst of her despair.

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In the morning, Karna was so badly bruised that she could hardly walk, and Tarlana was therefore sent to work alone, being ordered to beg illness on behalf of her sister for the remainder of the week. Tarneesh left with a dissatisfied grunt that morning, muttering to himself as he and his sons left for the market, complaining of the inconvenience caused by it all.

However, it was not until the house was deserted that his wife dared to enter the second room and saw the full extent of her eldest daughter’s injuries, finding tears threatening in her own eyes a the sight of the huge bruise that had swollen around her right eye so that it was almost shut. On closer inspection, her left side were so badly bruised that it was darkened all over from the repeated kicking. Yet, despite it all, Karna smiled at the sight of her mother, wincing as she attempted to arise, being gently pushed back down by her mother’s hands.

“No, rest my daughter,” she said firmly, moving to tuck the thin blanket closer about her slender frame. “You need to rest, do not try to rise, you will injure yourself further.” Karna complied, and tried lying as comfortably as she could, though found it difficult from her injuries, being forced to lie on her right hand side, facing away from the doorway.

She took the broth her mother brought her, finding that she had no appetite, but eating to ease her mother’s worry, for she had seen the fear that dwelt in those gentle eyes and wished above all else to soothe it. So greatly did she love her mother, that she could not bear to see any fear in her eyes; for of a so content and cheerful nature was her mother, that she was seldom saddened, and when she was, it was always on account of others’ grief, and not for her own sake. Her mother had endured such hardship, and yet she was still cheerful, accepting her lot in life with grace, a grace that Karna did not possess.

Despite the possible consequences, she always acted without thought, finding herself unable to endure the thought of life never changing for the better. For she knew that, regardless of what happened, she would always fight for the chance to find that freedom and love that she sought, and to find the same for those she loved.

The week passed slowly, but with each day, Karna grew in strength and her bruises slowly faded from darkened shades of black and blue to that of yellow as they began to fade. Upon the third day, her friend Tamara came asking after her, and though she knew her husband would forbid it, Karna’s mother allowed the friends a few minutes speech together. After her first shock at the state of Karna’s face, Tamara did not ask the cause, but instead told her friend of the goings on of work, related with some excitement the earlier arrival of two barbarian lords ahead of the larger party, so as to inspect the lodgings set aside for the coming of the barbarian queen. Thus, the work had begun in earnest, and they were expected to clean the house with even greater speed and thoroughness than first related. When she left, she cast a final, sorrowful glance back at Karna, her eyes saying what she had not dared to, that she pitied her and friend and wished that she could aid her in some way, but was forbidden to do so.

In those hours that passed between the return of Tarlana from work, and that of Tarneesh and his sons from the market, Karna’s stepsister would sit with her, carefully going about her allotted task regardless of what it was, keeping her stepsister company, and speaking honestly of how she missed her company throughout the long hours of the day. These simple, honestly spoken words touched Karna’s heart and brought about an intimacy between the two sisters that had never previously been there.

“Do you miss Karlis?” Tarlana asked on the second afternoon after Tamara’s visit, six days since Karna had been bed-ridden. Sighing gently, Karna nodded,

“Very much, she always used to make me smile so broadly.” Tarlana agreed, pausing in her cutting of vegetables for a moment.

“Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and wait to hear her breathing beside me, and when I don’t I wonder where she is, until I remember that she’s never coming back.” Karna reached over to take her sister’s hand in her own, hearing the grief in her voice.

“We all miss her terribly, Tarlana, but she has a husband who cares for her. May Tash (may he be praised) grant us the same blessing in life as she has had.” Tarlana smiled despite herself,

“My longing shall not be fulfilled unless Prince Rabadash wishes to marry into the family of a carver.” Karna laughed, glad to see her sister’s change in mood.

“Have you heard anything more concerning the barbarian lords?” she asked, having found herself considering the foreigners a lot within her hours of solitude.

“Yes,” Tarlana replied eagerly, “they are coming half way through the cycle of the next new moon. I am so curious to know what a pale-skinned man will look like, I try and imagine, but I can never picture it in my mind.” Karna smiled,

“I find it difficult to,” she admitted, “but I always find myself imagining them with lighter eyes for some reason, not dark brown or black, but pale brown, almost the colour of freshly ground cinnamon.”

“Kediza told us that she has heard Master Tirshan speaking to a friend, and apparently he has heard that the barbarian queen as eyes of green.”

“Green?” Karna exclaimed in astonishment, “you mean as the lawns of grass that cover the Tarkhaans’ and Tarkheenas’ gardens? I would not have imagined such a thing real.” Tarlana grinned,

“I know, I look forward to seeing them, it will be interesting to see if the rumours prove true.”

That night, Karna lay awake for several hours, struggling, for, though her bruises had healed substantially, they still caused her discomfort, and she had also developed a continuous headache from her confinement in the stuffy back room of the home. Desperate to escape from within it, she attempted to rise, and, though her legs were at first too numb to move after having lain in the same position for several days, she eventually managed to stand, and, leaning heavily upon the rickety table, she rose to her feet.

To her surprise, she found that she could stand and bear the pain that shot through the legs, which, though acute, was bearable. With a growing resolve, she moved steadily towards the doorway, careful not to touch any of the sleeping forms upon the mattresses, she entered the second room. When in the doorway, she paused for a moment, taking time to catch her breath before slowly limping towards the entrance, each step an effort in itself, until she finally reached the flimsy wooden frame, drawing back the bolt and opening it with surprising ease.

Once she had left the stuffiness of the home, Karna felt her face touched by the gentle kiss of the night air, cool and refreshing, the heat of the day had finally given way to it, and to her, it was like the first trickle of water down her throat after days of wandering in the desert. She stood for a time, merely basking in the stillness and calm of the night, away from the crowded heat and sweaty bodies of the room, savouring the peace that the darkness always brought.

Without knowing why, she started to walk, oblivious to everything but the need to move, nor knowing how she was able to do it with such fluidity, she found herself hurrying down the streets, her pain and bruises forgotten as she simply walked, desperate to reach her destination, but unaware as to where it was. In the darkness, she stole through the deserted streets, finding herself moving past closed, shadowy doorways and across empty squares. After a time, she became aware of moving roughly in the direction of the river, and before she knew it, she had entered an archway and was walking upon the smooth stone of a courtyard, within the centre, a fountain splashed. She stood for a moment, merely watching the water, fall into the smooth stone of the bowl, feeling refreshed by the very sight of it. The moonlight slanted across the garden, gleaming its pale light upon the fountain, making the water seem like a fall of pure silver.

The next moment, Karna froze, suddenly sensing another presence in the garden, she spun around and gasped in fear, for upon the carefully tended lawn of grass, there stood the biggest creature she had ever seen. Tawny-haired, the great cat’s mane appeared almost golden, despite the pale light that flooded the courtyard, his shaggy coat shone golden-brown, his eyes large and to her astonishment, filled with something that could only be described as love and compassion. Yet, despite the lethal teeth that showed below the cat’s lip, the claws that protruded from his paws, she felt no fear, only reassurance from his presence.

Motionless, she stayed where she was, waiting for the animal to act, at the same time knowing in her heart that he would not hurt her. Silently, he padded towards her across the grass. Tall was he, so tall that his eyes were level with her own, and slowly, he lowered his head, licking away the tears that she had not realised were staining her cheeks, with a rough, yet gentle tongue. An incredible peace filled Karna at his touch, and without thought, she put her arms about his proud neck, and began to weep wretchedly into his thick fur, feeling his tongue still licking away her tears as she sobbed away a week’s pain and fear.

After a time, the tears stopped, and she drew back, simply staring into those great golden eyes, not understanding the calm that had entered her heart, but knowing that she could now endure another day because of it. Wordlessly, she reached out and stroked the lion’s shaggy mane, hearing an undeniable purr erupt, deep within the huge cat’s throat.

“Thank you.” Without realising why, she said the words, knowing that he understood. She longed to stay here with this great cat forever, to simply be looked upon with those great eyes, so large and filled with compassion and love, so wonderful and yet unknown in her world. For a moment, she simply stood there, watching the lion, loving him for some unknown reason, before reality reasserted itself, and staggering, she suddenly realised that the pain was back as her leg throbbed.

Karna felt tears coming once more as the pain grew worse and she was forced to stumble across the courtyard toward the archway, knowing that she must return home. But in a few strides, the lion had crossed the paving and was barring her way. For the first time she felt scared.

“No, I must!” she exclaimed, “Please, let me go.” But the lion did not respond, and instead remained where he was, simply watching her.

Desperately, Karna tried to stumble around him, but the lion merely stepped in front of her, once more blocking her way. In a last attempt, she limped back in the other direction, and again, the lion barred her path, but this time, he did not pause in front of her, but continued to advance, forcing Karna to stumble back until she felt the grass beneath her feet. The next moment, in a sudden, fluid gesture, the huge cat had approached her, and almost gently, pushed her to the ground so that she sat, his large, shaggy head looming over her, filling her entire vision.

With a sudden terror, Karna covered her face with her hands, trembling so much that she visibly shook … until she felt the touch of warm breath to her hands, and slowly drew them away to see the lion watching her. Once again, he breathed on her, but instead of rancid and stale as she would have expected, his breath was sweet and lovely to smell, seeming to warm her from within. In amazement, Karna stared, transfixed, as he lowered his head, and gently nosed her skirt up so that the bottom of her legs were bare. After this, he gently licked her bruises, and with this tender touch, wrought a soothing throughout her entire body. Without knowing how, Karna felt her pain go, and stared at the great cat in amazement, for he had healed her completely. In confusion, she felt her cheek, and realised that the bruise was gone, she stared at her leg and saw the discolouration had vanished.

It was only after a time that she remembered the lion; and when she did, she looked up, saw that he was staring at her once more, his great gold eyes gentle, still filled with that love.

“Thank you,” she said again, not knowing why, but wanting to express her gratitude, and in the moment that followed, she could have sworn that she heard the words, “Peace, dear one,” spoken, though immediately banished the notion as ludicrous. Then, with a final look, the lion suddenly turned and sprang away into the night, gone as suddenly as he had come.

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