Live Journal FeedMany thanks to my Beta Readers – J. and Marsha
Author’s Note: If anyone would like to see my idea of what the King’s House looks like, click on my homepage. There are three drawings there that will give you a rough idea of what I ‘see’ in my head when I am describing things going on inside the House. I’m warning you that I am NOT an artist!
Things have been very hectic for me and if you are waiting for a chapter of ‘Brothers at Heart’, I will tell you it is almost finished. It should go to my betas tomorrow and I will post it as soon as I can. Thanks for your patience.
Chapter 3 – Painful Memories
Aragorn looked up in surprise as Arwen walked into his office pulling off the cloak that protected her from the cold mid-December winds that blew down off the White Mountains and swept briskly across the Citadel Courtyard. She rarely came to his office in the tower and he stood, a look of concern darkening his features. “Arwen, Meleth-nín, is something wrong?”
A smile graced her lips as she replied. “No, Estel, nothing is wrong. I simply came to speak with you about something that occurred to me this morning and I did not want to wait until supper to discuss it.”
If anything, that comment brought further concern to Aragorn as he could not imagine anything that would not keep until the evening. He came around his desk, taking Arwen’s hand and led her to the large fireplace where they sat on one of the couches in front of the warm, brightly burning fire. Keeping ahold of her hand Aragorn turned to his wife and gave her a questioning look.
“Have you given thought to where Rebecca and Thomas are going to live after they marry?”
Aragorn blinked rapidly several times as he stared at Arwen. “In the King’s House, of course,” he said slowly and with a hint of question in his voice. “I thought that was already decided.”
“Yes, it is, but neither of their chambers is really large enough for them to live in together, Estel. Some other arrangements must be made for them.”
“I had not considered that,” Aragorn admitted.
“I know,” Arwen said with a small smile, “and neither did I until this morning. I have been thinking that perhaps some of the other rooms might be enlarged. Or, there are the main guest quarters in the other parts of the House… some of those would be large enough, I think.”
“No, they will remain in our part of the House.” Aragorn was adamant. “There is no reason that some of the spare chambers cannot be made into a larger space. We will need those guest quarters in the future.”
Arwen nodded. “Then we will have to enlarge the other rooms. Which means that Rebecca’s chambers cannot be used unless you would like to move somewhere else,” she gave him an inquiring look but he shook his head. She sighed softly and squeezed his hand. “I thought perhaps we would use her room for a nursery someday, then.”
Aragorn gave her a soft smile before he leaned over and gently kissed her. “Yes,” he whispered, “it would make a wonderful nursery. We shall have to start filling it with children soon.” She nodded with a coy smile before returning to the topic at hand.
“There are the chambers that Ada used… those could be connected with the ones that Daeradar and Daernaneth used.”
“It would be next to the dining room,” Aragorn pondered, “and looks to the north and not the garden, but it is close to the library,” he smiled. “There are rooms upstairs as well, Meleth-nín. The ones above the library or the ones our brothers stayed in. Those would overlook the garden.” He paused and shrugged, “We will let them decide, it matters not.”
“We can speak with them at supper, I imagine it will take some time to make the changes.” She studied her husband for a moment. “You appear tired, Beloved, or burdened, perhaps. You usually share your concerns with me, but lately…”
“Yes, I do,” Aragorn looked into the fire as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Forgive me. I should have spoken of this sooner.” He glanced at her as she murmured her acceptance of his apology. “I am worried about our people in the North… the Shire and the hobbits in particular, especially after what happened with Saruman and his men. I… we are here in Minas Tirith far away from the lands that I love. We guarded them for so long and now when they need me the most, I am so far away from them,” he blew out a frustrated sigh and leaned heavily against the back of the couch.
“I know that the people here in the South need me as well, although,” he gave a hollow laugh. “They did well enough without a king for a rather long time.” He shook his head and closed his eyes and silence filled the office. Many minutes passed before Aragorn opened his eyes and he turned his gaze on Arwen who was staring into the fire with a thoughtful expression. “Well,” he asked slowly, “are you not going to tell me that it is my duty to be here in the South? That Alvist and my Rangers will guard the Shire and the North now that they have returned home?” A small sparkle of amusement lit his eyes for he well knew Arwen would never say such a thing to him.
“I think you have no need for me to say such things to you, you do very well at telling them to yourself, Estel,” she smiled and took his hand and began lightly running her fingers over the back of it. “Can you leave this for a time?” she indicated his office. “I would like to go down to the lower circles and look for gifts for the upcoming celebrations and I would like you to go with me.”
Aragorn just stared at her for a minute and then began to laugh. “You seek to distract me from my thoughts… my worries by taking me shopping?” he asked incredulously.
“I seek to ease your heart by taking you out of this office to be amongst your people for a time. We have spoken of this before… the need to be with your people. And I do not mean just the nobles we often see, but the common people of the city. It has been many weeks since you have ventured farther from home than this office.”
“I have much to do today, Arwen,” he gestured to his paper covered desk.
“I know you do, and it will keep until tomorrow. Or, perhaps, Faramir could do some of it for you?” she asked.
“No, he has his own work, Meleth-nín. It is cold,” he argued weakly, trying one last time to dissuade his wife. But she was unyielding and laughed lightly.
“Since when does a Ranger let cold keep him indoors?”
Aragorn eyed her for a moment before breaking into a soft smile. He leaned over and kissed her before standing and gently pulling her up beside him and into his arms where he kissed her again, more deeply this time. A knock on the door interrupted them and they broke apart with looks of regret. “Enter,” he called and turned toward the door. His secretary opened it and stepped halfway into the room.
“Forgive me, my lord, my lady,” he said bowing slightly towards Arwen before directing his gaze towards his king. “Lord Faramir is here to see you.”
“Have him come in. After the Lord Stewart leaves, Queen Arwen and I are leaving to walk down to the lower circles. Please inform our guards of the change in plans.” He watched as the man’s eyes strayed towards his desk before darting back to look at his king. He bowed as he returned to the outer office.
“Yes, my Lord King.”
“It appears he thinks I should stay and work, Meleth-nín.” Arwen simply smiled and sat back down as Faramir entered the room. The steward paused on the threshold, his gaze swinging between his queen and his king.
“Am I interrupting you, my lord? I can return later. This,” he held up the paper in his hand, “is not so pressing a question that it needs to be answered right now.”
“No, come in, Faramir. Arwen and I are going to go down to the lower circles in a moment, but unless your question is going to take a very long time, I will answer it now.”
“Is there not someone you can send to buy the things you need?”
Arwen laughed. “Faramir, the purpose is for me and Estel to go and buy gifts and to be amongst the people for a time. It will hardly serve to send servants to do that for us.” Her eyes twinkled with amusement as she continued. “If Éowyn were here she would undoubtedly be requesting your presence to do the same.”
“I wish she were,” he said longingly. He cleared his throat and looked down at the paper in his hand for a moment before looking back at his king. “I will bring this back tomorrow, Aragorn. It truly is nothing pressing, but it may take some time to discuss and it draws near to noon already. The days are short and you must have some time with your lady wife,” he smiled at Arwen who inclined her head graciously.
“All right, then.” Aragorn stretched his hand out to Arwen and gently helped her up once again. He wrapped her cloak around her and picked up his own as he continued to speak with Faramir. “Are you coming to supper this evening? We have not been blessed with your presence for some time now.”
“I was planning to, but perhaps you might find a nice inn where you would like to eat supper,” the steward replied as they walked down the hallway, pausing at the door to his office.
Aragorn shrugged, “We will eat lunch in an inn and I doubt we will eat two meals away from home, but if we do there are others there that you can share a meal with.”
“Perhaps Rebecca and Thomas might like to have supper alone for a change,” Faramir said smiling. “Halbarad has not often been around either.”
“No,” Arwen said with a pleased smile, “he and Camíriel are spending much of their time together and she often has him to supper at her home.”
“Do her parents approve of him? A Ranger? They are an old and well established member of the nobility and while I have always thought that Camíriel’s father was a good and just man, I do not know her mother well.”
“I believe that the reputation of Rangers has gone up somewhat in the last six months or so,” Aragorn said dryly. “And, being a kinsman of the king undoubtedly helps as well.” A ghost of a smile tugged at his lips at the look of consternation that crossed Faramir’s face.
“My lord, I did not mean to imply…”
“Peace, Faramir, I well know what you meant. I, too, know what the nobility is like in our fair land. Rest assured that Camíriel’s parents truly seem to like and approve of Halbarad. Now, Arwen and I will take our leave of you and will see you at supper.”
0-0-0-0-0
Aragorn wrapped his arm around Arwen’s waist and pulled her closer to himself as they left the tunnel and began walking down the street heading for an inn on the fifth level that he had heard Rebecca and Thomas speak of. It was not as cold here, the wind, which blew so fiercely across the Citadel, was mostly blocked by the great stone outcropping that was the center of the city. Still, not many people were around on the sixth level. The few people they passed did not recognize them, intent on hurrying back to the warmth of their homes.
“Here,” he murmured to Arwen as they came to the inn that was near the gate leading down to the fourth level. Aragorn gave it an appraising look, taking in the small square windows that were clean and sparkling and the doorstep that had been recently swept. His gaze drifted up to the sign swinging in the wind and he chuckled at the name of the place – The Leaping Stag. He did not look back at Eradan, who was on guard duty with Hinluin, even when the Ranger snorted with amusement. They had not yet had time to go hunting, but Aragorn hoped to do so after the turn of the year.
The inn was uncrowded, only three of the tables were occupied and Aragorn escorted Arwen to a table in the corner set near a window, while the guards took a table nearby. A young woman hurried to serve them as soon as they were seated. It was obvious she did not recognize them until she drew near and got a good look at Arwen. Her eyes opened wide and her eyes darted quickly to Aragorn and her face paled. Drawing a deep breath she curtseyed and when she spoke her voice trembled.
“My Lord King, my Lady Queen, welcome to-to the Leaping Stag. H-how may I serve you?” She chewed on the corner of her lip and shifted from foot to foot as she waited.
“Be at peace,” Arwen said in a soothing voice. “What is your name?”
“Tirnel, my lady.”
“Tirnel. That is a Sindarin name. Do you know what it means?” The young woman shook her head. “It means star gazer. Do you enjoy watching the stars?” she asked gently.
“I-I don’t go outside much at night, my lady. I work here late and there isn’t time.” Her eyes strayed to Aragorn and he gave her a kind smile.
“Is this your family’s inn?” he asked and she nodded.
“Tirnel! Is there a problem?” called the man behind the counter. She turned, shaking her head at him.
“No, father.” She turned back to her king and queen. “What would you like to drink? And do you want to eat something, too?”
“I would like wine,” Arwen replied.
“Ale for me, and please bring a pitcher of ale for our men,” he indicated the guards at the other table. Tirnel nodded and hurried away, forgetting to take their food order.
“You know her father is going to be here in a minute, do you not?” Aragorn whispered.
“I imagine her mother will come as well,” she replied with a twinkle in her eyes as she gave an almost imperceptible nod towards the counter.
“We did want to meet our people, Meleth-nín, but I did hope to be able to eat lunch with you as well,” he smiled at her as he had known exactly what would happen as soon as they stepped inside the inn. He also knew that the owners of the inn would greet them, but, hopefully, would then leave them in peace to eat their meal.
As they had known would happen the innkeeper and his wife brought their drinks and with much bowing and curtseying thanked their king and queen for honoring the inn with their presence. Aragorn could see both their nervousness and their pride that their inn had been chosen to serve the king and queen and he realized that when he and Arwen went out like this again they would have to be sure to go to a different establishment. It would not do to choose the same place each time. After several minutes the innkeeper and his wife retreated back to the kitchen to collect the food that they ordered.
Aragorn leaned back in his chair and took a long drink of his ale. “This is good,” he commented as he set the cup down on the table. “The wine?”
“I have had better,” she admitted with a smile. “But, truly this is not… totally unpleasant.”
“I am sure that you have had better wine at some point in your lifetime,” he responded with a grin. “I am aware that even what is served up at the House is not as good as what was served at home.”
“This is home,” Arwen reminded him gently.
“Yes, it is.” He gave her an intent look. “Are you happy here?”
“Yes.” The answer came so swiftly that Aragorn did not even have time to blink. “You are here, Estel, and we are finally together, of course I am happy.” They sat back as their food was set before them and they thanked the young woman. They ate in silence for a moment before Aragorn spoke again.
“We do not have as much time together as I had hoped.”
“No, we do not,” Arwen stirred the bowl of soup in front of her for a moment before looking at Aragorn. “We always knew that your duty would have to come before your family.” She paused and a look of sorrow entered her unfathomable grey eyes. “It has since you learned of your heritage, Estel… Aragorn… Elessar.”
“Strider… Thorongil,” he added with a faint smile. “Yes, it has and I did not mind it so much… it was somewhat easier when the goal was to win your hand, Meleth-nín. But, now that I have you,” he grinned, “there are times that I desire to set duty aside and to spend my days with you.”
Arwen took his hand and squeezed it gently. “I would enjoy that as well, but I think you will have to wait until we have a son who is old enough to take your place.”
Aragorn laughed softly. He picked up the dark bread that was part of the meal and sliced off a piece and handed it to Arwen before taking a piece for himself. “Then I suppose we really must begin to work on filling that nursery,” he said with a sidelong glance at his wife. She merely shook her head with a small smile and began eating her soup. Aragorn simply watched her eat and after a minute or so she looked up. He grinned at her with a roguish gleam in his eye and she blushed slightly. Chuckling quietly, he took her hand and kissed it lightly before turning to his lunch.
0-0-0-0-0
It was late in the afternoon by the time that Aragorn and Arwen returned up the hill to the Citadel. The afternoon had passed pleasantly as they had wandered in and out of the shops on the fourth level buying the gifts they needed for the upcoming Christmas and Mettarë celebrations. They had enjoyed speaking with many of their people as they walked the streets. Some people came just to greet them and others had questions and concerns. Some they answered and for some they made arrangements for the people to come up to the Citadel to meet with Aragorn at another time. A small group of children began following them, and Aragorn stopped at a bakery and purchased small fruit pastries for each child.
Just before they were about to enter the tunnel that led to the Citadel, Aragorn and Arwen were hailed from behind by Rebecca. “Adar! Arwen!” They stopped, turning and waiting for her to join them.
Aragorn glanced at Eradan as Rebecca hurried towards them. The Ranger had had the most difficult time of all of his men accepting the story of Rebecca and Thomas. It was only the fact that he trusted Aragorn that enabled him to believe their story at all. Just the fact that they were in Aragorn’s life as a son and daughter had made it difficult for the Ranger and Aragorn watched as Eradan studied Rebecca with a puzzled expression. He knew that at some point he needed to find the time to have Eradan come for supper so that he could speak with them in a smaller group and on a more personal level. In the three weeks since the Ranger had arrived in Minas Tirith there had been no time to do that.
“What are you doing down here?” Rebecca asked as she joined them, her cheeks and nose red from the cold.
Chuckling and shaking his head, Aragorn turned and entered the tunnel taking Arwen’s hand and drawing her close to his side. He looked down at Rebecca who was walking alongside him. “Are we not allowed to leave the Citadel, Sell-nín?” he asked in a voice full of amusement.
Rebecca gave him a sheepish grin as she wrapped her cloak more tightly around herself as the wind sweeping across the courtyard hit her. “Of course you are, but I never see you down here. Or, at least not very often. Arwen and I go shopping… and Thomas does… even Halbarad goes once in awhile.” She shrugged. “I was just surprised.”
“We went to lunch as well,” Arwen said.
Rebecca stopped abruptly. The other two took several more steps before stopping and looking back with confused expressions. She studied Aragorn for a moment. “You took the whole afternoon off?” He nodded and his eyes began to twinkle. She started to walk again, slowly shaking her head. A smile spread across her lips after they had taken several steps.
“What is it, Rebecca?” Aragorn asked looking down at her and watching her expression change. He glanced at Arwen who was smiling softly as she, too, watched Rebecca.
Shrugging once again, Rebecca tried to change the subject. “I’m just glad you had the time off, Adar, and could spend the afternoon together… like a date. My afternoon was not nearly so fun. I was learning about the various herbs that are used to bring down fevers and how to mix them into the right proportions. Some of them look so much alike.” She sighed and wrinkled her nose.
“Indeed they do,” Aragorn said smiling as they entered the House.
“What is a date?”
“Well… it’s usually something a young man and woman do before they get married. They go out and eat a meal together and then they do something fun.” She paused, frowning as she thought. “Well, we had fun things we could do… things we don’t have here, but shopping is fun, too.” She grinned at Arwen. “I suppose you don’t call it a date after you’re married, but it’s like that.”
“Did you go on… dates?” asked Arwen with a curious expression.
“Yes, a couple of times with a boy from my high school.”
Aragorn’s eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Did you have a chaperone? Does Thomas know about this?”
“Do I know what?” Thomas asked as he ran lightly down the stairs and joined the three of them where they had stopped in the hall a short distance from the outer door.
Rebecca answered Aragorn. “Yes, Thomas does know and, no, I did not have a chaperone. You know that we don’t… didn’t have those. We only went to a school dance and once to a movie. I didn’t like him very much… he was the brother of a friend of mine.” She smiled at Thomas who grinned in return.
“It seems… odd to do such with young men you are not betrothed to,” Aragorn said slowly. He turned his gaze to Thomas who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “And, you?”
“Yes, of course, but like Rebecca it was only a couple of times. I lived a long way from town and… “ he shrugged, “Well, I didn’t have much money to take a girl out.”
“I told him a girl just wants to be with the man she loves and they don’t have to spend money, but I don’t think he believed me.”
“I do now,” Thomas said quietly. “Why are you talking about this anyway?” he looked at each of them in turn.
“Rebecca told us that Estel and I went on a date this afternoon and we did not know what that was,” Arwen replied.
“You went on a date? Is that where you were this afternoon?” Thomas looked at Aragorn who sighed and shook his head while Arwen began to laugh merrily.
“It appears, Arwen, that the next time you and I want to go somewhere we will have to ask our children for their permission before we do so.” Thomas and Rebecca looked uneasy for a moment before catching the faint gleam of amusement in their father’s eyes and they smiled.
“You always have my permission,” said Rebecca. “You know I always think you need more time away from your work. And, you can go anytime you want to buy presents,” she added with a grin.
Aragorn looked down at the baskets he and Arwen were carrying. Nothing could be seen in the baskets themselves and, in fact, most of the gifts they had purchased were to be delivered later to Faramir to keep them out of sight. “What presents?” he asked, though he knew it would be useless to deny it.
“Adar, I have grown up with this holiday and I can always tell when Christmas presents are bought,” replied Rebecca with a smug smile. “My mom and my aunt would have a certain look about them and I just knew they were trying to hide something from me and my cousins.”
“Estel,” Arwen said as she took her husband’s hand. “I think it is time for us to dress for supper.”
“I believe you are right. Rebecca, Thomas,” Aragorn said with a faint smile as he ignored his daughter’s words, “we will join you for supper in a short time. Faramir is joining us tonight.” He led Arwen down the hall towards their chambers leaving a curious pair of young people behind them.
The two Rangers were standing guard outside their chambers and Hinluin opened the door for them. Eradan gave Aragorn a brief puzzled look before glancing away. The king paused and let Arwen go ahead without him. “What is it?” he questioned his old friend in a low voice.
“Is… are your… children always like that?”
“No,” Aragorn said after thinking about it for a moment. He glanced back down the hall to make sure they had gone. “Rebecca is usually quite… unguarded in her manner. But she is excited and, I think, nervous about this Christmas holiday. We only see her excitement, but I sense the nervousness in her. Thomas is nervous as well, but he will become even quieter than is usual for him.” He glanced sidelong at Hinluin but the young man was staring at the floor.
“Oh. Why are they nervous?”
“I am not sure,” he admitted with a frown. “I have not asked them yet, but I will. I was hoping they might come and speak with me and Arwen. I do know this was one of their most important holidays and so it may be that they are dreading not having their families with them.”
“It would be hard,” Eradan murmured, compassion filling his dark grey eyes.
“Yes. Thanksgiving was hard, but I believe this holiday has even more significance to them in some way. They will not tell us the full meaning of the holiday beyond saying it has something to do with Eru, though in their time they call him something else.”
“W-why will they not tell you?” Hinluin asked timidly.
“I do not know,” Aragorn said, running his fingers through his hair. “I believe they think it is something we will not understand.” He laughed briefly. “As if we have understood many of the things they have told us. But we can at least listen and try to understand and it would, perhaps, give them some comfort or sense that others here will know the meaning of this celebration. I believe that I may press them to tell me more about this holiday.”
“Without knowing them I’d think that would be helpful for them.”
Aragorn remembered his earlier thoughts about having Eradan join them for a meal. “When do you next have an evening free?”
“Tomorrow, and then again two nights later.”
“We have a court dinner tomorrow evening with the nobles and then in two days there is a dinner with the ambassador from Harad. They want to lower the import tariffs,” Aragorn added somewhat absently. “After that?”
“Four nights from now, my lord,” Eradan replied with a grin.
“Good. I would like you to come for supper with just me and my family. I want you to get to know both Arwen and my children. Hinluin here,” he gestured to the young Ranger, “knows Thomas quite well. The rest of the men know them somewhat, they rode with them from Rohan during the war and have been around them quite a bit since then. I would like you to know them as well. Will you come, Eradan? It is an invitation, not an order,” he added.
“Yes, of course, I will come.” He paused and a twinkle entered his eye, “Who could resist eating at the king’s table?”
Aragorn laughed and clapped him on the back before entering his chambers.
0-0-0-0-0
Arwen, Rebecca, and Thomas met with Belegion, the chamberlain, and Nimrie, the head housekeeper, as they looked at the various chambers to make their decision on which ones would best accommodate their needs. Neither of the young people had given any thought to the specifics of where they would actually live, assuming they would just move into one of their own. But Aragorn and Arwen had insisted they would want a larger space to call their own. They had given in, both of them knowing that neither their father nor Arwen had any concept of the place they came from and the fact that their individual sitting rooms were already larger than the combined size of the living rooms and dining rooms in either of their previous homes.
It was quickly decided that they wanted to have their chambers on the second floor so that they could look down on the garden. While the first floor rooms had some advantages, Rebecca and Thomas decided it would also be nice to have a little distance between themselves and Aragorn and Arwen. The first decision to be made was which rooms they wanted.
“You may use any of the five chambers,” Arwen was saying as they followed her up the stairs.
“Halbarad lives up here,” Thomas pointed out.
“He has said he will move to other chambers should you like to use his.”
“I’d hate to have him move,” Rebecca said quietly to Thomas who nodded.
“He truly would not mind,” Arwen said as they entered the hall on the second floor. “He has lived in so many places in his life that moving now would not trouble him as it might either of you. I believe you may take him at his word on this.”
Rebecca stopped as something occurred to her. “What will he do if he marries Camíriel? Will he stay here or move somewhere else?”
“I know not,” Arwen shook her head and gently clasped Rebecca’s hand for a moment. “I have not heard what he desires to do. He would not go far, Rebecca,” she said with a reassuring smile.
“No, he wouldn’t,” she replied as she began walking again giving Thomas a grateful look when he took her hand.
They walked through the five chambers and in the end they did decide that it would be best to use the one that Halbarad was using and the one next to it. It had the best light, catching the morning sun and they would be able to put in an outside stair from the balcony down to the garden. They could not do that if they used any of the other rooms as that would block the doors from Aragorn and Arwen’s chambers.
Belegion and Nimrie took notes on the changes that would have to be made to connect the two chambers into one large space for the young couple… divided into a large sitting room, a large bedchamber, a bath and, at Arwen’s insistence, a nursery. Rebecca and Thomas were overwhelmed with the whole process and let Arwen handle most of the details for them. They chose colors for the walls and carpets when asked for their preferences but otherwise were mostly silent as the chamberlain and Arwen planned out their new home.
Arwen suddenly turned to them and looked them over carefully before sending Belegion and Nimrie from the room with quiet words. “What is it that troubles you? I thought you had agreed that this was the right place. Did you change your mind?”
“It’s fine,” Thomas answered for both of them. “But you appear to know best how this should be arranged and,” he shrugged, “we’ve never done anything like this before so it’s best that you speak with Belegion and Nimrie.”
“Arwen, as we told you and Adar the other night we’re not used to having something so… big. And then to have it made just for us is somewhat… overwhelming. Even after all this time of living here it’s hard to get used to. We haven’t even been here a year yet… ”
“A lot less than that if you count just living here in this house,” Thomas gestured to the room around them. “It’s so different, Arwen, and I don’t think you’ll ever be able to understand that. It’s all right,” he hastened to add at the expression on her face, “I… we don’t really expect you to, but… “ he stopped and swallowed hard at the look on Arwen’s face.
“I do not, perhaps, understand, although I do know that your families did not have money to afford such as this. I do know that you did not have the means to afford the clothing that you are wearing now, although, from what Estel has told me yours was much different. I do know some of these things,” Arwen said with a kind smile. “You will have to tell me of these differences so that I can understand them,” she added gently.
“We can try at least,” Rebecca said. “But sometimes I think that no matter how much we explain, it doesn’t really help you to see it.” She shook her head in frustration. “That’s not what I mean, Arwen. I just… I don’t have the words always to explain things so it makes sense to you and so sometimes I don’t even try, even though I know I should.” She blew out a long sigh.
“Are you concerned about this Christmas holiday?”
Surprised by the abrupt change in subject they said nothing for several long moments. Finally, Thomas spoke somewhat hesitantly.
“Christmas? Why are you asking about that?” He took Rebecca’s hand and squeezed it tightly.
Arwen’s eyes softened with compassion as she studied them. “Because I have never seen the two of you quite as… anxious as you have been in the last week. Nor have I heard you quite as uncertain about yourselves as you are right now. Estel and I have been concerned about you for the last few days and have not yet had a chance to speak with you, though we hoped to do so tonight after supper.”
“Is it really that noticeable?” Rebecca whispered as she played with the tassel on the pillow next to her.
“Only to those who deeply care for you – myself, Estel, and, I think, Halbarad.”
“I’m looking forward to Christmas and sharing it with you and Adar… I hope… think it will be fun. But I’m also afraid of the memories it will stir in me.”
Thomas nodded his agreement, “It’s the same for me, Arwen. A month ago this all sounded wonderful, but the closer we get to it the more… the more I miss my family,” he ended in a whisper.
“Of course you do,” she said softly. “From what you have said this holiday has even more meaning to you than Thanksgiving and so your memories of your family would be even stronger.” She paused and gave them a thoughtful look. “I know that Estel desired to speak with you about this, so if you do not mind I think we should wait and continue this discussion this evening.”
“That’s fine,” Rebecca said, shrugging. “He’ll want to know about all of this anyway and I’d rather not repeat it.”
Arwen gave both of them a long searching look and then a kind smile graced her lips. “We will also wait and make the rest of the decisions regarding your chambers sometime after the turn of the year when, hopefully, your hearts will not be so troubled.” They nodded but said nothing. “Eradan is coming for supper this evening, but we will speak with Estel after that.” She arose and moved towards the door.
“Why is he coming to supper?” Thomas asked. “It’s unusual for only one of the Rangers to come.”
“Eradan is an old friend of Estel’s… and Halbarad’s… from when he first returned to his people and he does not appear to be quite as… intimidated by Estel being king as are the other Rangers. I know that Estel has not seen him for many years and just wants to enjoy a meal with him.”
“That’ll be nice for Adar,” Rebecca commented as they made their way back downstairs. “I hope he can stay here in the South for awhile.”
“I think he will be here until spring, unless Estel needs to send a message north.”
They headed out the front door, their guards joining them. Thomas was going to his painting lessons and Rebecca was going to work in the Houses of Healing. Arwen was accompanying her to speak with the Warden about growing certain herbs, including athelas, in the garden in the King’s House.
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At the supper with Eradan, Thomas learned more about Aragorn’s first years with the Dúnedain than he had during the whole time he had known his father. Aragorn had spoken of those years occasionally, but never in any detail. Although, Thomas mused as he listened to the two men and Halbarad share another story, there were many, many things he did not know about his father. Thomas had really not known him long enough to learn more than a rough outline of the things he had done over the long years of his life.
“Thomas?”
The young man was startled from his thoughts by Aragorn’s questioning voice and he looked up to see his father gazing at him with mild amusement in his eyes and he knew he had been caught not paying attention. He wondered what he had missed. Glancing around the table he saw that while Rebecca was smiling and Arwen and Halbarad had the faintest glimmers of amusement in their eyes, Eradan was watching him with a slightly puzzled expression… at least that’s the way Thomas read the expression in the man’s eyes. “Yes, Adar?” Thomas responded in a quiet voice.
“Eradan asked you a question, but your mind appeared to be wandering far from here, ion-nín.” It was not quite a question, but Thomas heard the question in it nonetheless.
“It was,” he shrugged. “I was thinking about how little I know of your life. You’ve told Rebecca and me a little about your time as Thorongil and now I’m hearing some about this time of your life, but I don’t know too much about Imladris and the years you spent there.” Thomas shrugged again. “But then I realized I haven’t known you that long and you’ve lived a very long time…,” he smiled and Rebecca laughed lightly. “And, that there will be time to learn these things.” He looked at Eradan. “I’m glad you’re here so that we can hear some of these things because I’m sure these are things that Adar wouldn’t have told us.”
“I would have if I had remembered them,” Aragorn protested smiling. “It was a very long time ago and much has happened since that time.”
“My life has been much less… eventful than my lord’s,” Eradan said with a sidelong glance at Aragorn. “I did not travel outside our lands as he did and so it is easier for me to remember these things.”
“I’m glad you did,” Rebecca said with a shy smile directed at the Ranger. She was slowly warming up to the man, finding she liked and trusted him more quickly than she had the other Rangers.
“What was your question? I’m sorry I didn’t hear you the first time.”
Eradan waved his apology away. “I just asked if you wanted to go hunting with us. Halbarad, your… father,” he stumbled over the word causing Aragorn to give him a sharp look, “and I are going deer hunting sometime after Mettarë and I asked if you wanted to accompany us.”
Thomas gave a hesitant nod. “I’ve only gone a couple of times and I’m not any good with a bow… yet. You’d want Rebecca to go with you if you want someone who’s good with a bow.” He glanced at her but she was staring down at the table.
“You’ve only gone hunting a couple of times?” Eradan asked, obviously surprised.
“We don’t hunt where I’m from. Well, some people do but not with bows. I do like to fish but we’ve never done that since I’ve been here.”
“What do they use if they don’t use bows?” Halbarad asked with a confused frown.
“It’s called a rifle and I can’t… I won’t explain it,” Thomas said adamantly, “except to say it is more powerful than any bow and can kill from much further away.”
Aragorn laid a warning hand on Eradan’s arm when he saw the Ranger open his mouth. “You told me you used a bow a few times. Why did you if they weren’t used for hunting?”
“As I told you then, it was just for fun. People used to use bows all the time… maybe a hundred years before our time and for centuries before that, but other weapons became better… more powerful and so people mostly used bows for fun… shooting at targets. The arrowheads were not like ours,” he said with a small smile.
“I would hope not,” Aragorn said shaking his head. “Would you like to go hunting with us anyway? You did go with me and Halbarad on the way back from Rohan and I did promise to teach you a few things about surviving in the wild. We have had little time to do such things lately,” he sighed.
“I’ll go, but don’t expect me to shoot anything. Rebecca and I have been practicing but I’m still not very good.”
“Legolas will be glad to see any improvement,” Rebecca commented quietly as she played with her cup of watered wine.
Aragorn studied her briefly with his keen grey eyes and exchanged a quick glance with Arwen before turning back to the discussion. They made plans to be gone overnight – it was all the time Aragorn could afford to be gone – and to head up into the foothills of the White Mountains towards Lossarnach to hunt. As they finished those decisions, Aragorn turned to a hunt of a different kind.
“I believe it is time that we get a… Christmas tree, is it not?” he asked looking between the two young people. “I think you said you had it in your home for some time before the actual holiday, did you not?”
“We did,” Rebecca said with a small smile. “We usually got our tree about now… maybe a day or two before this.” She looked at Thomas who nodded.
“I thought so. I want to send some of my Rangers,” Aragorn grinned at Halbarad and Eradan, “to get this tree, but they have never done this before and so I believe you two should go with them. To find a tree that will be just right for this first Christmas. Halbarad has agreed to do this tomorrow and I will assign Eradan, Balrant, and Laegrist to accompany you.”
“That would be wonderful, Adar! I’ve never gone and picked a tree right from the woods before. It might be…”
“Never picked a tree from the woods before? How did you get one, then?” Halbarad interrupted her.
“Oh, someone else cut them down and brought them into town and they had a place where you could go and buy them.”
Thomas smiled as he added, “There were also tree farms. Places that grew Christmas trees. It was like any other farm, except, of course it took a lot longer for them to harvest the crop.” He laughed at the stunned look on the faces of the older people.
“You really are from another time,” Eradan murmured, shaking his head. The others laughed.
“I have told you that many times now, Eradan,” Aragorn said.
“I know, my lord, but the more I’m around them…” his voice trailed off. “It’s just hard to believe,” he admitted.
“It was difficult for all of us to believe and I was there when we found them.”
“It was even harder for us,” Thomas said quietly, taking Rebecca’s hand and squeezing it gently as he gazed out the window into the darkness.
Remembering Arwen’s words to him earlier, Aragorn glanced at Eradan and Halbarad and dismissed them – using his eyes and a slight jerk of his head. He glanced back at his daughter and son as the Rangers took their leave.
“My lady, my lord,” Eradan said, “Thank you for this wonderful supper, but I really should go, I have guard duty quite early. And, now, a tree to find,” he added with a smile.
“I am glad you could join us this evening,” said Arwen with a gracious smile. “I hope you will be able to come to the holiday celebrations we will be having in the next few weeks.”
“I will, thank you. Lady Rebecca, Thomas, good-night,” he said with a small bow. They murmured their good-nights as Eradan walked to the door with Aragorn who spoke to him quietly.
“Camíriel is expecting me to come by and see her this evening,” Halbarad said with a small smile as he stood, “so I will take my leave of you as well.” He strode swiftly from the room upon receiving their well wishes.
Aragorn returned to his place at the table and looked briefly at Arwen before turning his intent gaze on his children who were sitting across from him waiting for him to speak. “Arwen told me of your conversation earlier today and I grieve for what you are feeling. I am sorry that we were not able to speak of this earlier for I knew you were hurting, but…” he shook his head. “Forgive me,” he said softly.
“It doesn’t matter,” Rebecca replied. “We know how busy you are and we’re talking now,” she said with a shrug.
“Nevertheless, I should have made the time. Arwen said you are missing your families and I am not really surprised; from the little you have told us of this holiday it seems that it was even more important to you than Thanksgiving. Yet you have chosen not to share the full meaning of this holiday with us and so I think that makes you feel more alone than you would otherwise.”
“Of course you do not have to tell us any more than you have,” he said in a low voice as he watched the two of them exchange glances. “Arwen and I will enjoy this holiday with you whether we know more about it or not. It is you I am concerned about.”
“You won’t understand it,” Thomas said stubbornly, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.
“Thomas, it matters little if I understand exactly what you are telling me. I do not fully understand this electricity and I only have a vague idea of what a bus is or a movie or many of the things you have told me of. It does not stop me from listening to you and it helps me get to know more about you. Just as earlier tonight you spoke of wanting to know more about me and my life, I would like to hear more about yours.”
Aragorn smiled. “Although, you have not lived nearly as long as I have your life will be just as interesting. If something is this important to you… to either of you,” he turned his intent gaze on Rebecca, “then I would like to hear of it. I truly believe it will help you not feel quite so alone now. It will not take all of your pain, that is not possible, but I think it will help you. But I will not press you and if you want to think on it we may speak of this at another time if you wish.” His eyes were full of compassion as he looked at them. He knew they needed to speak of this but he would not… could not force them.
Silence filled the room as Rebecca and Thomas considered his words. It stretched on for so long that Aragorn was sure they were not going to speak, but Rebecca suddenly stirred in her chair and sat up straight. With a furrowed brow she looked at Thomas who gave a small nod.
“One reason it’s so hard is because you have nothing like… our churches… religion. Eru must be another name for God,” she said slowly. “At least that’s what we’ve decided. Dolgaran has told us how Middle-earth was created and… about the Valar and it’s nothing like we were taught… what we believe.” Aragorn wanted to ask what they had been taught, but decided that that could wait and he just let them speak without interruption.
So for the next half hour or so Rebecca and Thomas haltingly explained as much as they could about their beliefs in God and how they had been raised and about going to church. They did skip a few things, but mostly shared everything they could think of. Aragorn and Arwen asked occasional questions but mostly just listened as the two young people spoke. The last thing they spoke of was Christmas, although they did acknowledge it was probably one of the first things they should have spoken of since without Christmas none of the rest of it was important.
It was difficult to explain the birth of Jesus, but they plunged ahead and told them nonetheless. They spoke of the wise men, the shepherds, the stable and the whole Christmas story. As they finished Rebecca and Thomas could see that for once Aragorn did not know what to say and they exchanged knowing glances before staring down at the table.
After a moment, Aragorn and Arwen began to speak at the same time and she motioned for him to continue. “Look at me,” he said softly and they both looked at him with anxiety clearly written on their faces. “I told you before we started that it mattered little whether I understood what you were telling me, that the important thing was that you shared what was troubling you… what was on your hearts. I admit that it is hard for me to understand some of this,” his brow furrowed as he paused in thought, “but I do see how important and how meaningful it is to you. Arwen and I at least understand now what this holiday is celebrating and I hope that that will give you some peace to know that you are not alone in that.”
“I believe it will also help you during the times you miss your families the most,” Arwen said. “It will be easier to share the memories of your family at this time of year because you know that we have at least some understanding of Christmas and what it means to you.”
“That’s true,” Thomas slowly admitted. “It’s hard to tell you things when you have no idea what I’m even talking about.”
“Even though you would have listened,” Rebecca added. “But I’ve hesitated because I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“What is it you miss the most?” Aragorn asked.
“My mother,” Rebecca said without hesitation. She glanced quickly at Arwen and then away again missing the kind and understanding smile the elf gave her. “I miss…,” she paused, taking a deep breath and blinking back the tears that suddenly filled her eyes. “It’ll sound silly, but I miss things like making cookies and candy a-and going shopping and,,, and seeing all the department stores lit up with lights… and the windows decorated with toys and special holiday decorations and… hearing Christmas music on the radio and even snow,” she ended in a low voice as she wiped at her eyes. While it was often cold in Minas Tirith in the winter, it seldom snowed, it was too far south.
Thomas scooted his chair over next to hers, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close to his side. Rebecca leaned into his shoulder and grabbed his hand as she blinked back the tears that threatened to spill. She knew that nothing could be done but it did not stop the pain in her heart. The sound of the table scraping across the floor made her look up and she blinked in surprise as she watched Aragorn push the table out of the way so he could crouch down in front of her.
“I am sorry for your heartache, sell-nín, for there is little I can do about it except to let you know how much you are loved here.” He glanced at Arwen whose eyes were full of compassion. Aragorn did not understand most of the things Rebecca had just mentioned, but it mattered little. “We cannot replace those things no matter how hard we may try. We can start new traditions here, though.” Rebecca nodded.
“I know we can and I’m looking forward to those things, but still it hurts, Adar.”
“I am sorry,” he said again knowing there really was little he could say or do. He leaned forward and lightly kissed her brow and she gave him a very small smile.
“Thank you. I know it’ll be all right and that this first year will be the hardest, but it’ll get better. Even this year it’ll get better,” she said more it herself than to Aragorn. He nodded and shifted his gaze to Thomas.
“And what do you miss the most?”
“Besides my mother and brother? I also miss things like Christmas cookies…mom would make them… and the house would smell… Christmasy, somehow. And, I miss snow, too. I miss going ice fishing. Sometimes I would go alone but usually I would take Johnny with me. I had a week or so off at Christmas and so I spent extra time with mom and Johnny then.” Thomas took a deep breath. “I didn’t really go shopping like Rebecca did, but still I know what she means and it all added up to Christmas somehow. Oh, I miss the music, too.”
Aragorn frowned as he considered what his son was saying. Just like with Rebecca there was little that could be done to really help soothe his heart in any way. He and Arwen could only be there for him and Rebecca. “I am sorry for your heartache as well, ion-nín,” he said quietly. “As with Rebecca there is little I can do to relieve it except to be there to listen and to bring what comfort I can to you. There are some things that we can do here that might be similar, but I fear it will not relieve the pain that you feel right now… it will not be the same.”
“It will not,” Thomas said shaking his head. “But, as Rebecca said, it will be enough and we’ve been through worse things,” he said with a faint smile.
“Yes, I suppose you have, although it was a different sort of heartache than this, I think.” He stood and looked down at the two of them with a slightly worried expression on his face.
Arwen spoke, her eyes full of compassion. “I, too, am sorry for the pain you are in and wish there was a way that I could share some of your burden. I do believe that by speaking of it, your heartache will be eased somewhat.”
Rebecca gave a slight nod. “It will, I know it will… it certainly has helped in the past,” she said with a small smile wondering why she had waited so long to speak to them. “Just you knowing is already helpful… and maybe… maybe we can try and make some sort of Christmas cookie. I probably wouldn’t have asked you before,” she admitted quietly.
“We will do that, I am sure that we will be able to create something that is similar to what you are used to. And, if the two of you do not mind, I would like to go with you tomorrow when you go for the tree.” Aragorn looked at her, surprised by her request.
“Of course you can come! It will make it even more fun, won’t it, Thomas?” Thomas nodded.
“Then I will have to assign more guards,” Aragorn said slowly. “I cannot have all of you leave the city with just four of my Rangers. Faramir would not approve,” he said with a grin. He thought for a moment wondering if he wanted his two other Rangers to go with them, which would leave him without their services, or if he should just allow their regular Citadel Guardsmen to accompany them. He finally decided to send his Rangers since they were going into the woods and those men were more comfortable doing that. They would also probably enjoy a trip out of the city. “I will send Baisael and Hinluin along with you as well.”
Thomas chuckled quietly. “You’ll have to have Citadel Guards following you around instead.” Aragorn shrugged and smiled.
“You can use mine,” Rebecca offered. “They’re very good at protecting me.”
“That is because you keep going into places where you should not go,” Aragorn responded dryly, but with a twinkle in his eye knowing that she had truly been in no danger the two times her guards had had to ‘rescue’ her.
Rebecca started to protest when he held up his hands to stop her. “I know it was not your fault, Sell-nín,” he said smiling. He was about to suggest that they return to their chambers for it was growing late and they would be leaving early to hunt for their tree, but a sudden thought occurred to him. “You have told us of the things that you miss for this Christmas celebration, but would you like to share some of your happy memories of the holiday? Perhaps that would be too difficult, but I thought I would share some of my memories of Mettarë and, if you want to, you could share some favorite memories of Christmas. Arwen might even be persuaded to find one or two memories from her long life that she would be willing to share.” Aragorn’s eyes sparkled with amusement as he glanced at his wife.
“I might even be able to think of four or five, Beloved.”
Rebecca giggled and Thomas smiled as they both slowly nodded.
“I’d like to hear your stories,” Rebecca said, “and I know I can tell you some stories that won’t be too… painful for me to tell.”
Aragorn looked at Thomas and the young man nodded once again. With that, Aragorn began speaking of the first Mettarë he had spent in Dolomar and of the gifts, the food, and the dancing. The four of them shared back and forth and stayed up far later than they should have, but Rebecca and Thomas went to bed that night feeling much more at peace.
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To be continued…
Reviewers: Thanks to everyone who reads the story and especially to those who review, I appreciate the encouragement. I will try and answer everyone by email if I have an address.
