Full Circle

CHAPTER THIRTY: OUT OF MIND, OUT OF SIGHT



The horn that rang out was a signal that something was amiss in the land of Maedhros and only minutes later Faron gathered an assembly of men and went to investigate the strange blue light that they had seen to the west of Himring. It was nearly an hour before sunrise and the Noldo was excited that there was something unusual going on during the last few minutes of his watch. A group of twelve men left the city hastily on horseback; all was silent except for the sound of the hooves of the horses beating against the stone street.

“It’s a woman!” shouted Faron when they rounded the knoll to where Buffy’s body lay. His heart pounded in his chest. Surely, she did not spring forth from the sky, he thought to himself. But that is exactly what we witnessed! The raven haired Noldo dismounted from his steed and got the shock of his life when he saw that it was Buffy that lay on the ground, axe imbedded in her chest. “Oh my Eru! It’s Bellaseth Dagnir, Maglor’s intended!” He uttered a prayer as he grabbed a lamp, and squatted down next to the Slayer in order to examine her more closely. “She’s alive!” he exclaimed when he felt her heartbeat.

The Noldo carefully lifted her from the ground, taking care not to disturb the axe. With the aid of one of his men, he brought her back to the healers at the citadel. It was Faron’s duty to notify the son of Fëanor of the tragedy. He now wished that this whole ordeal had transpired after his watch was over. He had no desire to deliver such grim news to Maglor.

Hweston was the chief healer of Himring and it was he who tended to the unconscious Slayer. As he was cutting her tunic off, Maglor came rushing through the door with Faron at his heals.

“What has happened to Maranwë?” he queried before actually seeing her traumatized body. His face went even paler when he noticed the axe sticking out from her chest. He gasped in shock.

“Get him out of here!” ordered Hweston agitatedly.

It took the strength of three elves to pull a grieving Maglor from the chamber. He cried out Buffy’s name repeatedly as the elves dragged him to another room down the hall to await the news of her condition. None thought she would survive, except her beloved, for he was the only one amongst them that knew she was a Vala. That thought did not ease his sorrow because he knew that she must have suffered terribly with such an injury.

The chief healer was readying himself to pull the blade from her breastbone. He was amazed that there was not much blood with such an affliction. In one swift motion, Hweston extracted the axe from her sternum. He was mystified that it was stuck in the bone and had not, in fact, penetrated any vital organs. Immediately afterwards, the Slayer’s body began to emit a white light and began to heal itself.

“Do you see what I see?” asked one of Hweston’s associates.

“Indeed!” replied the mystified master healer. “Bellaseth’s body is healing itself! Surely, she must be one of the Holy Ones. I do not think that any can doubt that.” His assistants nodded in agreement.

“Do you think that Lord Maglor knows?” asked his helper.

“That I do not know, my friend,” answered Hweston as he continued to stare at the Slayer’s radiating form. “But I deem that the time has now arrived for me to inform him.” He peered closer and watched as the gash on her chest began to close before his eyes. “That is amazing,” he whispered. “Unbelievable! I do not think that any have yet to witness the Ainur healing themselves,” Hweston continued with an air of awe in his voice. “Truly we have been blessed to behold such a marvel.” It was then that he noticed the strange dark mark on her breast. “That is odd. What does that look like to you, Amdir?” he asked as he looked up at the elf.

“I cannot rightly say,” replied the fellow healer, as he looked closer. “It could be some kind of hammer or possibly a weapon of some kind,” suggested Amdir. Their eyes darted from the mark to the wound, which had now sealed itself up. All that remained was a scar that was about six inches long and a fraction of an inch wide.

The door then flung open and Faron entered the chamber. He stopped suddenly when he noticed Buffy all aglow.

“Close the door, Faron!” ordered Hweston. The warrior elf stood there for a moment, his eyes transfixed on the Slayer, before he realized that the healer was speaking to him.

“Sorry,” he said as he closed the door. “What’s going on here?” he questioned incredulously. The healers told him all that they had seen and pointed out both the scar and the strange mark. Amdir asked Faron what he thought the mark resembled since he was skilled in weaponry. “May Maglor forgive me for looking upon his future wife’s nakedness,” he proclaimed as he approached the Slayer cautiously and examined the odd marking. “It appears to be some sort of weapon, perhaps a mace, but I cannot say for sure. I hope that it does not portend doom for the Lady.”

“I believe that we should tell Maglor about this. What do you think?” questioned Hweston.

“I agree, but surely he knows that his beloved is blessed with… supernatural abilities,” he answered, returning his gaze to the healer. “It all makes sense to me now. How is it that Maglor is betrothed to a woman, who is no elf, I might add, that we had not seen before Mereth Aderthad? And my eyes did not deceive me when I saw how they greeted each other! They’ve had to have known each other for awhile and I have no knowledge of Maglor ever visiting Ossiriand before that time, for he always travels with Russandol when they go abroad.” He glanced back down at Buffy’s still glowing form. “I deem that he has known about Bella’s true identity all along but for some reason he is keeping it secret from the rest of us.”

“Why would he do that?” asked Amdir.

Faron shifted his gaze to Amdir. “That is not our business,” he answered. “But I do believe that the time has arrived for us to speak with Maglor regarding this matter.” It was decided that Hweston, Amdir and Faron would seek out the son of Fëanor while the two other healers remained with the Slayer. As the warrior left the room, he glanced out the window and for the first time, noticed the raging blizzard outside.

When they entered Maedhros’ library, the other brothers were already gathered there as well as the chieftains from Buffy’s Household. Hweston spoke first.

“May we talk openly, my Lord?” queried the healer to Kanafinwë. Maglor glanced around the room before nodding his head. He seemed bereaved. “Then you do know that the Lady will be fine,” affirmed a grim-faced Hweston. He paused before continuing. “As a matter of fact, the wound that Bellaseth had received is already healed. And I must say that it was not done by my hands nor any of my fellows. Her wound healed on its own! Right now she lies in bed all aglow!”

Everybody in the chamber remained silent, but their eyes spoke volumes. It was finally Úrion who addressed the healer’s comments.

“It is apparent that you all have discovered Bella’s secret. Yes, my friends, she is indeed one of the Ainur,” he said with a grin. “No weapon wrought by elf or dwarf can kill her but that doesn’t mean that the pain she endures is not real. Those from that race have the ability to heal themselves or make their flesh anew, if need be.” He took a sip of his tea. “Now that you know, we would appreciate it if you would keep it confidential. We do not want all of Beleriand to know.”

“I had my suspicions,” remarked Faron. “She is unlike any maid that I’ve ever encountered.” He poured himself a stiff drink.

“From which House is she?” queried Amdir. “Is she one of the servants of Vána and Estë like Melian?”

“No,” answered Maglor. “She is not a Maia; she’s a Vala and sister of the Fëanturi.”

That revelation shocked the healers and warrior. They had no idea that Maglor was betrothed to one of the Mighty Ones and they were quite taken aback by the fact that Buffy was the sister of the one who had laid the curse upon them. They viewed her in a completely new light and saw her as a means of thwarting both Morgoth and the curse. Before Maglor would let the threesome leave the chamber, they had to vow never to reveal Buffy’s true identity to anyone.

It was not long afterwards, that all left the library except for the sons of Fëanor.

“You know what this means, don’t you brother,” commented Caranthir. He did not allow Maglor time to respond. “You cannot wait twenty some odd years for the wedding. Too much can happen in that time. You must convince your beloved to wed now!”

“I cannot do that,” he responded. “Salmar told her to wait and she has no intention of… ”

Celegorm jumped out of his seat, interrupting his older brother. “Why should a Vala heed the words of a Maia?” he questioned bitterly. “She is far greater than Salmar, and from what I’ve been told; he is probably looking out for Ulmo’s interests. Is it not true that the Lord of Waters is in love with Bella?”

“From what I’ve been told, yes, it’s true,” answered Maglor. “But surely Ulmo would never stoop to that level… ”

“No?” queried Celegorm disapprovingly. “Little love does Ulmo have for the House of Fëanor after what transpired in Alqualondë! He may have the foresight to know that if Bella waits, something can happen that could end your betrothal. Did that not happen with the other elf? Was she not betrothed before?”

“That thought had never occurred to me,” replied a stunned Maglor.

“I believe that our brother is correct in his assessment, Maglor,” remarked Curufin. “Salmar wants to waylay your approaching nuptials with the Slayer. He is only doing as Ulmo ordered. Do not let father’s death be in vain, brother. If you wed the Vala, only good will come of it, I deem… ”

“And do not forget the children,” interjected Maedhros. “I cannot fathom what kind of offspring that a Vala and an elf would produce, but having witnessed Bella’s strength, mighty shall be your children, Maglor. Mighty indeed!”

“We have already seen the powers that her other children possess,” chimed in Caranthir. “To have our blood mingled with one of the Valar would be a reward beyond belief.”

“I cannot make any promises,” answered Maglor. “I will speak with Bella about having the wedding sooner, but if she’s not in agreement… ”

“Who says I’m not?” queried Buffy, who stood in the doorway, much to the brother’s surprise.

“Ah, Maranwë, you’re awake,” said a delighted Maglor as he hurried to his lover’s side. “How do you feel?” he queried as he took the Slayer’s hand and led her to one of the couches.

“Like I’ve been hit in the chest with an axe, but I’m okay. Just a little sore,” she replied as she rubbed her breastbone. The brothers had no idea that she had been standing there, listening to their conversation. They hadn’t heard her enter the chamber.

“What happened? Tell me who harmed you, my love, and I will see to it that you are avenged,” said Maglor.

Buffy did not tell them about visiting Man in the east, only that she was conducting business at the request of The Powers. A simple recon mission that ended up causing her a great deal of pain, both physically and emotionally. No ill had she done to those dwarves to justify their actions, but that was about to change.

“A shadow lies upon those dwarves,” she said venomously. “These sons of Aulë are rotten to the core and I want every last one of them hunted down even if I have to do it myself. They have no place in Middle-earth.”

The C-brothers looked at each other with wicked grins on their faces. Bellaseth Dagnir would surely fit in perfectly with those of the House of Fëanor.

“It will be done, my dear Maranwë,” replied Maglor affectionately. “Justice will be served. We will send messengers throughout all of Beleriand notifying our kin of the dastardly deed that was committed against you.” He kissed the top of her hand. “Can I get you something? Tea perhaps?”

“I need something stronger than tea!” she answered, still rubbing her chest.

Caranthir poured Buffy a glass of wine and handed her the drink. “Did you hear our conversation earlier?”

“About the wedding?” Buffy asked after taking a sip.

Maglor looked slightly uncomfortable. “We were talking about having the wedding sooner, but I understand if you want to wait… ”

The room fell silent. All eyes were fixed on the Slayer. Buffy sat there for a few minutes before replying.

“My last thought was of you,” she said with a small smile as she tightened her grip on Maglor’s hand. “I love you as I’ve never loved anyone, but before I commit to anything, you need to hear what I‘ve got to say.” She paused. “No longer will I follow the orders of anyone! That includes the Valar, Maiar, Elves and Men. I have been betrayed by those who claim to love me for the last time. I now see that I’m a lone wolf in this world. I can only truly trust me!” She smiled at her lover. “No offense hon. It’s just… I don’t know. I’m so over being told what to do. Screw ‘em all! From here on out, I’m marching to the beat of my own drums… or is it drummer?” she questioned as she thought hard about that old saying that she had heard long ago. The Slayer shrugged her shoulders.

“So, you still wanna move the wedding up, huh?” she inquired. Her lover nodded. “How soon?”

“Yesterday,” Maglor responded with a wide grin. Buffy chuckled, as did the brothers.

“Well, seeing as we can’t alter time, that’s definitely not gonna happen,” said the Slayer good-humoredly. She glanced at the brothers before she continued. “I’ve always wanted a big wedding ever since I was a little girl and I have no intention of not realizing that dream.” Her gaze returned to Maglor. “I’m more than willing to move the wedding up, but only under certain conditions.”

“Such as?” asked Maglor, who was determined to accommodate his beloved in any way.

“First off, our wedding is going to be the event of the century, so I’ll need time to prepare,” she started. “I’d say in… hmm, two years. Spring. I can’t have everything done before that time.”

“That sounds fine by me,” replied her future husband. “I assume there are more conditions?” he queried light-heartedly.

“Yep. Secondly, we will hold the wedding at Lindecoa,” she stated.

“What is wrong with my own Halls?” asked Maedhros. “Surely a son of Fëanor should wed in his own land.”

Buffy turned her gaze to the eldest brother. “Did I mention that these ‘conditions’ are not negotiable?” She looked back at Maglor. “Maybe I should’ve mentioned that.”

“I have no qualms about that,” came her lover’s reply.

“Good! Third, and most important, to me any way, is that we don’t leave Lindecoa until we produce an heir. I’m more than ready to become a mother… a real one, this time,” disclosed Buffy in all seriousness.

That last request or demand took Maglor by surprise. His beloved had never expressed a desire to have children immediately after the wedding. It became apparent to him that the whole ordeal that she had just gone through must have affected her deeply. The Noldo was no fool, he loved Buffy greatly and nothing would please him more than to have a child with her.

“It looks like we have a celebration to prepare for,” agreed Maglor with a kiss.

Maedhros insisted that the lovers remain at Himring instead of departing back to their home in the east. Buffy decided to stay, as this was a perfect opportunity for her to get to know her soon to be brothers-in-law better. Besides, her caravan had traveled to Himring on horseback; they would need to return home the same way they had come because most elves did not know who she really was.

Buffy spent most of the day in the library speaking with the sons of Fëanor. She learned that the brothers knew all about her past, much to her chagrin. They did not harbor any hostile feelings towards her, despite the Slayer having borne Morgoth’s only child. They were delighted in knowing that the only one that the Dark Foe ever loved had now joined forces with them. It seemed befitting when one took into account all the pain and sorrow that he had caused the entire House of Finwë. The C-brothers often spoke in private about Buffy. They had the foresight to see that it would be the Lady that would one day bring down the biggest and baddest evil to ever set foot in Arda. Her wrath rivaled Morgoth’s.

Later that afternoon, the Slayer dressed from head to toe in fur and proceeded outside. She had an overwhelming desire to go outdoors even though the weather was ghastly. Not many people were of the same mindset as Buffy. The only ones outside were those on guard duty. The blizzard was over, yet snow continued to swirl around her.

As she made her way down the paved street, she eyed the wall that ran along the perimeter. She stopped, looked up at the bulwark, jumped and landed on the smooth topmost surface. She stood there in the howling wind and stared at the snow-covered hills. For the first time, she saw the beauty of that land. It looked entirely different when under several inches of snow.

It was not long afterwards, when a single white dove appeared out of nowhere. A small smile came to Buffy’s face as she watched the dove fly directly towards her. This was not one of her ‘normal’ messengers, but something very different. The Slayer held her hand out as the bird landed on her gloved finger.

“I didn’t expect to see you, Feawë,” said Buffy as she stroked her feathered friend. “What brings you to Himring?”

“I have come at the request of your children, my Lady,” the Valkyrie responded. “Believe me, nothing but that would have me endure the cold winds of Melkor.”

“I just saw you materialize. It’s not like you’ve flown all the way from Folkvang,” remarked the Slayer.

“Truly, but I did not know exactly where to find you. I thought that you would be in Lord Maglor’s lands, but suffice to say, you were not. So here I am,” answered the Maia.

“What news do you bring?” inquired Buffy.

“I am here to see if you are well. The Oracles, which is what your children call themselves nowadays, had seen you suffer horribly at the hands of the Naugrim. Is that true? Have the children of Aulë turned evil?” she queried with dismay.

“No, not really. There is a band of evil dwarves on the prowl. Rejects from Orocarni. Actually, there are several groups of them,” replied the Slayer. “How are Anno and Mirë?”

Feawë did not immediately answer. “They are worried about you, my Lady. Your children have been blessed with greater foresight than most, and see things that others cannot. They are greatly disturbed by some of the visions they have been experiencing. They say that you will not come back to Sussrúmnir even if they implore you… ”

“Well, it does seem that they can at least see things in the immediate future,” said Buffy with a chuckle. “No, Feawë, I will not be going back to Folkvang until I’m ready. The times, they are a changing, my friend. You can let the others know what I’m about to tell you. No longer will I do the bidding of the Valar; I’m on my own… ”

The Maia squawked and her eyes welled with tears. “No!” she cried out. “You cannot turn your back on your kin! They are only looking out for your best interests… ”

Buffy frowned. “My best interests?” she questioned with disdain. “Getting an axe to the chest is not looking out for my best interest, Feawë. The Valar have no idea what real war is… ”

“How can you say that?” asked the Maia. “You know good and well that they fought Morgoth long ago… ”

“And what the hell are they doing now, huh? They’re sitting on their blessed asses in Valinor mourning the loss of those two goddamn trees.” Feawë was taken aback by Buffy’s words. “My dear brother, Námo, knows what’s gonna happen in Middle-earth… yet they still do nothing! All they care about is protecting themselves from the Darkness that’s going to inevitably take over this world,” continued the Slayer angrily. “It’s my job to fight Morgoth and I intend on doing just that, but on my terms. Everything that I do will be done my way. I will not take the counsel of others nor will I be commanded to do anything from anyone ever again. I’m the Slayer. The Chosen One. And I’m also the Queen. My word is law! Those who do not wish to follow me can take their happy asses back to Valinor and never set foot in Folkvang again unless they want to feel my wrath.”

The dove cried out even louder. “No! This cannot be happening,” sobbed Feawë. “When did the Darkness take you, my Lady?”

Buffy laughed. “I’m not of the Dark but I’m not wholly of the Light either.” She moved the bird closer to her face and whispered, “I walk in the gray, Feawë. Sometimes we have to fight fire with fire, even if some consider it an abomination.”

“What has happened to you, Lady? Ill words you speak!” she cried.

“I’ve seen the Light,” replied Buffy with a smile. “This is my time. I’ve been doing this since I was fifteen and I’m entitled to a break every now and again.”

“And what of Man and Illyria? Will you turn a blind eye to the things that your daughter is doing?” queried Feawë.

“The time is not upon us to make war with Illyria… ” started Buffy before she was cut off by the dove.

“You are coddling her. You are allowing her to get stronger whilst you… ”

“I advise you not to finish that sentence. Do not question the decisions that I make. You are my servant and it will do you well not to forget that, dear, dear Feawë,” sneered the Slayer.

“Forgive me, Lady, but you have always allowed us to speak our minds,” apologized the dove with a slight bow of its head. “What about Man? When will you return to judge them?”

Buffy considered her words for a few moments before replying. “When I’m ready… and that will not be anytime soon. Let them wait in purgatory until I feel the need to return.” She lifted her hand up and said “Out of sight, out of mind!” The dove disappeared after she spoke those words.

It was not the Slayer’s intention to upset Feawë so. But it was time for all to realize that Buffy was playing by a new set of rules - her own. It had been many years since she had last thought about her past life in ‘modern’ times, but the Valar reminded her too much of the Watcher’s Council. Their only desire was in giving orders while Buffy was the one responsible for carrying them out. Yeah, they’re mighty fine Guardians alright! thought Buffy. The images of the Horrors that transpired in Valinor flashed in her mind. She shook her head in disgust.

“And what will you do?” she queried aloud. “Send Tulkas the dim-witted to scold me or even better, Oromë, the half-hearted. They couldn’t even get past the meshes of Ungoliant,” she snickered. When she turned to leave, she was startled to see Maglor standing on the bulwark, only a few feet away. Buffy jumped back. “You scared me. I didn’t know you were there,” she said with her hand on her chest, trying to catch her breath.

“Who were you talking to?” he queried suspiciously.

“Oh, no one. Just talking to myself,” she answered. She smiled and then cheerfully added, “But I promise, I’m not crazy or anything.” Maglor continued to look at her, grim-faced. “What?” she asked.

“Why would you say those things about Tulkas and Oromë? That is not like you,” he remarked.

Buffy looked deeply into Maglor’s eyes. “I’m just venting,” she replied in a somber tone. “Feawë paid me a little visit and kinda rubbed me the wrong way. Apparently, she’s not too enthused by the fact that I’m the maverick amongst my kindred.”

“It does not bode well to speak of the Valar like that,” her lover said somberly.

Buffy shrugged her shoulders. “When they take an axe to the chest, I’ll be more respectful,” she smirked. “Until then, they can just leave me the hell alone. I don’t need them.”

“What about Folkvang? Long the Ainur must have labored to build your heavenly realm,” countered Maglor.

The Slayer chuckled. “You mean my prison. It’s an illusion, nothing more!”

“That is no illusion, my love,” he said wondrously. “It is heaven.”

“No, it’s hell and I’m the gatekeeper,” Buffy replied. A chill crept up her spine. “I’m cold… and hungry. Let’s go back inside.”

The son of Fëanor knew that Buffy was not having the best of days and disregarded her disparaging comments regarding the Valar. Maglor smiled, then took her hand and together they walked along the top of the wall and descended the nearest stairway leading to the citadel.