Daring to Dream

Daring to Dream

Chapter Eight

Large, pompous and smug, Master Lavarin the blacksmith strode down the streets of Tashbaan, his wide face plastered with a cocky smile; he nodded to his neighbours in the same manner that one might have expected of the Tisroc himself. But that day, Lavarin was so assured of his brilliance, so delighted by his choice of wife, that he would probably not have cared even if he had noticed others smirking. With great care, he wetted his already overly moist lips, wanting to appear as handsome and alluring to his future wife as possible.

In preparation for the event, he had carefully chosen a new robe, one of a rich red material, now tucked closely about his portly frame. His beard had been carefully scented with eucalyptus, and a new turban of snow-white linen sat upon his head. All in all, he had taken great pains to appear as appealing as was humanly possible to his young wife, wishing for her to see the obvious benefit of such an alliance, and, in his own way, hoping to alleviate her nerves by it. For, though a vain man, there was no cruelty within Lavarin, merely a painfully high self-esteem, and one that had, over the years of his life, caused an expectancy of this admiration being returned by others. It was upon this basis that he believed himself worthy of fair Karna’s hand, and upon a similar foundation that he believed her to have accepted him.

Thus it was that he finally came to the doorway of her home, and, leaving a suitable moment for a dramatic pause, knocked sharply upon the wooden door just twice, before finding the door swung open by the youngest daughter of the family. With a solemn nod to the younger girl, he entered the home, acknowledging her father’s presence with a grave bow.

“Master Tarneesh,” he began, his voice a carefully balanced pitch, low and resonant, yet even and powerful, “I thank you most graciously for the hospitality of your home, for has not the poet said that ‘the welcome of a worthy man is worth more than the bows of a hundred enemies.’” Tarneesh, seated as he was upon one of the only two chairs, bowed to Lavarin with equal severity, responding in a similar vein,

“I welcome you, Master Lavarin, to my home, for the poet has also said, that ‘the polite welcome of a fellow Calormen is far greater than the banquet of a barbarian’. You are very welcome within this house, in the name of Tash, the inexorable, the irresistible, I greet you, he who is to very soon be kin of me.” Both men bowed to each other once more, before Lavarin took the chair that Tarneesh offered, regarding the other man with the same mysterious gravity that was considered as a mark of high breeding within Calormen.

They spoke for a time, watched over by the two sons of the carver, sombrely standing behind their father, their faces solemn and emotionless, as their father had wished. However, only a few minutes had passed before Lavarin referred to his betrothed, and, smiling smugly to himself, Tarneesh nodded, bidding his wife bring forth Karna from the other room. With a bow to her husband, she moved towards the other room, discretely wiping a hand across her face, she was gone but a moment, returning almost immediately with Lavarin’s betrothed.

She was dressed as expected, in the ornate gown of red and gold, her dark hair neatly braided, her neck adorned with the silver and bronze coins to resemble her dowry. She was a beautiful bride, timid and docile as was expected, she kept her eyes lowered, smiling shyly as she was led forward, bowing gracefully before her promised husband. From the moment of her appearance, Lavarin had watched in barely concealed lust as she walked forward, appreciating the graceful sway of her hips as she moved, the shy modesty of her beauty as she cast her eyes down, the alluring jangle of her anklet as she moved. Amazed at his luck at having purchased such a wife, he became so smug that he even allowed himself to exchange a triumphant smile with her father, surprised and glad to see the same expectation upon his own face at the prospect of the marriage.

To the normal eye, Karna appeared to be the perfect bride, attractive, biddable and obedient, she dipped a elegant curtsey to her intended, even managing a small smile as she inclined her head to her father, seating herself obediently at his feet, in the place of total submission to his will. It was only Tarlana and their mother that saw the brittleness of the smile, the utter melancholy of her expression as she sat at her father’s feet, the dullness of her eyes. For, though she played it well, they could both see the truth. She was dying inside; letting go of all that she had been, in order to cope with reality.

The minutes that followed were excruciating for Tarlana, as she watched her sister serve Lavarin, smiling shyly as he blatantly leered at her, often taking her hand and kissing it with sticky lips. A thing that many fathers would have objected to, but which seemed merely to amuse Tarneesh, as he found moments to strategically ignore it, suddenly seeming very interested in his food, or in ordering his wife to fetch more wine. It was the same action that had driven Karna to tears of hysteria, and yet, was now a thing that she would have to bear for the rest of her life. But, placed as she was, standing, obediently silent as they watched the proceedings, she was powerless to help her sister, and above all else, wished that she could.

For, her, the prospect of marrying such a man would not have caused nearly so much heartache and melancholy as it had for Karna, because hers was a temperament of such patience that she had learnt to accept her lot in life without complaint, as her mother had; but for Karna, that patience existed without the gentle and stoic acceptance. Where Tarlana could endure and draw strength from that meekness which she and her mother shared, Karna could not. Her sister had too vivid an imagination, to vivacious a nature and too strong a hope to accept the reality of an existence where she could not even dream of gaining what she sought from life. She had always had a natural cheerfulness and love of life that Tarlana had admired and loved about her, but when faced with the principle of enduring, it was Tarlana who proved to have the greater strength.

At the table, Tarneesh and Lavarin were heavily absorbed in their conversation, discussing the likelihood of the Prince’s marriage to the foreign queen, the barbarian beauty of the north. Karna sat, only partially listening to their discussion, still seated upon the floor; subconsciously brushing the dust from the skirt of her gown, she seemed relieved at her release from Lavarin’s attentions. For a moment, she stayed, seeming distracted in her movement, but then, she became aware of being watched, and looked up, catching Tarlana’s gaze with her own. The expression in those eyes was timeless, and in all her life, Karna’s sister would never forget it. There was an immense sadness, a melancholy that seemed to consume her very soul, yet at the same time, a great love, an affection that shone forth, that was almost emphasised more by the sadness. But, mingled with this emotion, there also dwelt something that ran deeper than the melancholy; deeper than even the love, it was spirit. A spirit that all the restraint in the world would not be able to suppress, a spirit that her greatest attempts could not withhold.

Tarlana saw that spirit, both joyful and the fearful at the sight of it, for the battle within her sister’s heart seemed to be costing her dearly. None but she saw the inner torment that Karna was struggling with, saw the hope that refused to let her darken its light.

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The night was drawing in, taking with it the last rays of the dying sun’s light, and folding the land in its velvety darkness. Lost in thought, a woman sat, gazing out upon the blackening sky, watching the stars, clear and jewel-bright above the tranquil waters of the sea. She sighed softly, enjoying the gentle caress of the breeze upon her face as she stared out.

A knocking drew her from her reverie, and, turning from the window, she bade them enter. Framed against the darkness of the passageway, a young woman entered, her usually merry face now pensive as she approached. With a smile, her sister rose to greet her,

“This is a pleasant surprise,” she began, but something in her sister’s face stopped her, “why so sombre, Lucy?” The young queen observed her sister, carefully choosing her words.

“Susan, are you sure that you wish to do this?” she asked, watching her sister’s reaction. In surprise, Susan assured her that she did. “But do you truly know his character?”

“Yes I think I do, Lu, ” Susan replied, with growing bafflement, “why would I not? Do you not think him worthy? Do you doubt his intentions?” Uncertain and clearly troubled, Lucy began to pace the chamber, occasionally wringing her hands in agitation; before coming to stop before her sister.

“I don’t know why I feel this way,” she admitted, “but I saw something false in his manner when we last met. I feel a foreboding, some anxiety for your safety.”

“But what have you to fear, Lucy? I shall have Edmund for an escort and he shall hold my safety as his utmost priority. Not to mention the presence of dear Peridan there these past weeks. Surely he shall have made the preparations and also discovered the expectations of both Prince Rabadash and his father.” Her anxiety visibly rising, Lucy’s eyes flew to her sister’s,

“Do you mean to accept him then, Susan?” Her older sister paused, contemplating for a moment, before eventually admitting,

“I am uncertain, Lucy. For, to marry one such as he … to live so great a distance from our fair land, and to make so great a commitment to a man I hardly know … I truly am not sure.” Lost in thought, her fingers unconsciously took a lock of her long hair, braiding and unbraiding it in her pensive agitation.

After a while, she turned to her younger sister, for the first time, a little afraid.

“Do you think that I should refuse him?” Not wanting to prejudice her sister’s decision, Lucy waited a few moments, before taking Susan’s hands within her own,

“Only you can make that decision, Su. My advice would be to trust your own judgement, discover Rabadash’s true nature. However, personally, I have my doubts, as do Peter and Edmund. But this is your choice, and whatever decision you make, we shall support you, always be sure of that.” With a failed attempt at gaiety, Susan’s smile faded and she merely nodded, her heart suddenly troubled.

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All about Tashbaan, evening was drawing in, bringing with it a much needed cooling of the air after the oppression of the day’s heat. In the back streets of the city, women opened their doors, letting the fresher air blow through the dusty stuffiness of their dwellings. The fragrance of cooking food mingled with the smell of sweat as men returned from their long days work.

In one such dwelling, a young wife stood, gently humming to herself as she stirred the stew she had prepared for her husband’s evening meal. Her young face utterly content as she tasted the broth, adding a little seasoning. She checked the preparations she had made, before moving through the doorway into their sleeping chamber to quickly pull a wooden comb through her dark hair in anticipation of her husband’s return. She was unable to stop herself smiling as she returned to the fireplace to once more check the stew. For, within marriage, she had found the one thing that she had always dreamed of, a bond of understanding and love with her husband.

With a gentle sigh, she moved towards the door way, glancing out into the narrow dustiness of the back street, she looked up, watching the vibrant azure of the sky soften to a paler blue as the sun set in the west. Across the road, the eldest daughter of one of her neighbours swept the ground outside their dwelling with an old broom, singing softly to herself as she did so. Glancing up, the girl smiled at her, pausing in her activity, she gave the young woman a knowing look.

“Good evening, Karlis,” she said.

“Good evening Morana,” Karlis replied amiably, “how do you fare this evening? Is your family well?” Morana smiled,

“We are all well, I thank you. We simply await the return of father and my brother.” For a moment, she merely watched Karlis, a mischievous grin lightening her face, “you seem as happy as always. Your face is never without a smile and my mother always marvels at your cheerfulness.” Morana’s expression softened, “but I do not need ask why it is so. It is easy to see, and lightens my own heart to see a husband and wife so happily married.” Karlis looked down, slightly embarrassed for a moment. But there was no denying it, and she knew it. She looked at Morana and smiled,

“I hope that you might have such joy in your own marriage as I have in mine, Morana.” Morana regarded her, now solemn.

“I too hope for that Karlis. Tash has blessed you, (may he be praised), and I am happy for you. To see you so happy always lighten my own day and helps me to hope that I might have such a man as Ahoz in my future.”

Morana opened her mouth to continue, but the calling of her name from her house stopped her, and, smiling a final time, she disappeared, closing the door behind her.

Her smile fading slightly as her thoughts turned inward, Karlis entered her own home, thinking about another wedding that was to occur the very next day. She recalled the hasty conversation that she had had with Tarlana a few days previously. With a growing concern, she had listened to her sister relate the drastic change that had occurred in Karna; of the grave acceptance that had replaced her easy smile, and removed the dancing sparkle from her eyes; of the profound melancholy that had ceased her singing and laughter. Karna had called it an acceptance, but to Karlis, it seemed more like the removal of all that made her sister so special, and such a joy to have around. This marriage to Lavarin was so different to what she had always hoped and dreamed, yet, she had accepted it without argument.

Karlis forced her thoughts back to the stew, and took it off the heat of the fire.

Why had Karna accepted the will of their father without a thought? It was just so unlike her.

With a sigh, Karlis moved towards the coolest part of the room and drew a loaf from one of the wooden shelves.

Was this not the same sister of hers who had dared to offer her comfort in her time of need, only to suffer the wrath of Tarneesh afterwards? Yet now, when she faced a marriage to a man that she could never love and the forced destruction of all her dreams, she did not?

Karlis shook her head in confusion, cutting the bread as she did so, her mind barely registering her actions as she attempted to make sense of the confusion that clouded her thoughts and would give her no relief of understanding. She was still deliberating upon her sister’s lack of response when she felt a pair of arms encircle her waist and was barely able to keep hold of the knife in her shock. Feeling the touch of a cheek to her hair, she turned, a smile brightening her face at the arrival of her husband.

“Good evening oh my wife and the eternal delight of my eyes,” Ahoz murmured, kissing her cheek as he drew Karlis closer to him. In return, Karlis entwined one arm about his neck and smiled at Ahoz, softly stroking his cheek with a gentle finger, she caressed his face.

“Good evening my husband and the true delight on my own eyes,” she whispered, smoothing a hand over his hair before feeling the gentle touch of his lips to hers. They stood thus for a moment, before Ahoz forced himself to pull away and looked at her tenderly.

“I praise Tash every day for you,” he said softly, “to have found such love in marriage is something that I would never have thought possible.” Karlis smiled at him,

“Well let us praise Tash together,” she said gently, kissing his again before pulling away to serve his meal. “Sit down, Ahoz, for, my husband I have been able to make another stew from that venison that your aunt gave us. You must thank her for me when you next see her, it has provided us with so many wonderful meals.” Ahoz grinned at the sudden change in the mood and obeyed his wife, amused.

“I will be sure to thank my aunt,” he assured Karlis as she placed a steaming bowl of stew before him, chuckling softly; he took a mouthful before looking at his young wife. Although still so young and sweet, it had only taken Karlis a few days to adapt to the role of a wife, and now, it seemed as though she had been one for her whole life. So effortlessly did she maintain their home and never fail to have his meal ready.

“Why are you smiling?” Karlis asked, seating herself next to him, she tore some bread, dipping it in her own stew.

“I was just thinking it amusing how quickly your mood can change from loving to domestic,” Ahoz said with a grin. Karlis regarded him for a moment; a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth despite her attempts to appear solemn.

“Is my husband complaining about my efficiency?” she asked levelly. Ahoz’s grin widened.

“Not at all, oh my wife,” he said teasingly, “I am just amazed that I have a wife so versatile that she can kiss me one minute and then thank my aunt for venison the next.” Gradually, Karlis’ composure broke and an unwilling giggle escaped from her mouth. The next moment, they were both laughing heartily and it was a while before either was able to stop.

“I did not mean to ruin the emotion of the moment,” Karlis exclaimed, choking as she struggled to stop her laughter. “But I had been meaning to ask you to thank your aunt all day and it seemed like a good opportunity.” Ahoz nodded, not trusting himself to speak for a moment, before he eventually regained control and turned to her.

“I agree,” he said, “it was most kind of her and I will be sure to tell her or my uncle at the first opportunity.” Karlis nodded and returned to her dinner; shaking her head ruefully, she sent a prayer of thankfulness to Tash once again for having blessed her so greatly in her marriage.

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Finally alone in the solitude of his own quarters, Peridan stood, motionless upon the balcony, regarding Tashbaan. All about him, pinpricks of light were gradually being extinguished in dwellings across the city, as the moon continued her journey across the heavens. He sighed softly, for that night, his heart was heavy.

Try as he might, he could never feel at ease within this land, neither among the pretension and oily condescension of the nobles, or within the dusty, aridity of the streets. Every day, he found himself longing all the more for the cool freshness of Narnia. He missed the ease and joyfulness of life at Cair Paravel, among their just and merry monarchs. Yet, as much as he longed for the arrival of Queen Susan and King Edmund, he also dreaded the coming of his friends to this place, as it heralded the queen’s final answer to Prince Rabadash’s troth. Dearly, and with all his heart, he longed to keep Susan from this prince, as he had seen nothing within this place to ease his qualms about the idea of an alliance between a young woman dearer to him than a sister, and a man as vain and arrogant as the Calormen prince.

Sighing again, Peridan allowed the pleasant freshness of the evening breeze to cool his brow, finally allowing himself to relax after the stress and torment on the day.

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It was late by the time that Karlis and Ahoz retired to their sleeping chamber for the night, having spent an amusing evening hearing Ahoz recount a ridiculous tale from the market that day, Karlis was just brushing her hair in preparation for sleep, when there came a gentle knocking on their door. Standing, Ahoz glanced curiously and a little uneasily at his young wife.

“Who would call at this time?” he asked, and, taking one of the candles, he headed through to their front door. The knocking had been growing gradually weaker and when Ahoz eventually opened it, Karlis heard him gasp, before hurriedly calling her through. Completely mystified, Karlis drew a shawl about her shoulders and picked up the other candle, walking through to their main room, she nearly dropped it at the sight that greeted her.

The front door was still wide open, as Ahoz had immediately sprung forward to support the figure that stood at their door. It was only when he almost carried her in that Karlis was able to gasp at the state that her oldest sister was now in. Quickly running for water and a bowl, she told Ahoz to close the door and hurried over to Karna, who sat, slumped in a chair, almost unconscious as she struggled to keep her head upright. Her face was a mass of bruises, her lip was cut, blood was running from her nose and one of her eyes was so badly blackened that it was shut. Her clothes, the beautiful garments of red and gold that should have signified a joyful wedding, were torn and muddied. She cradled her left arm protectively and it was not long before both Karna and her husband realised that it was broken.

With a shuddering breath, Karna shook her head painfully, eventually forcing herself to look up at Karlis, tears mingling with the blood that covered her face. In her horror, Karlis dipped a cloth in the water and sought to clean Karna’s face of the blood, restraining her own shudder, as she felt her sister flinch with pain. She sent Ahoz through to their bedchamber to bring herbs to disinfect the wounds and with great care, started to nurse Karna, very gently wiping away the blood and disinfecting the wounds; she didn’t speak, and merely sought to aid her sister, too horrified to ask what had happened.

Eventually however, Karna’s face was a lot cleaner and she was finally able to glance at her sister through her left eye, although her right was still swollen shut. In this moment, Karlis finally found her tongue and looked at her older sister.

“Karna,” she said, her voice coming out in a husky whisper, “what happened?” In response, Karna wiped away the tears that fell and leant forward to gently kiss Karlis’ cheek. Her voice was surprisingly calm when she replied.

“I displeased our father to the point of no forgiveness Karlis…I had actually accepted my fate and behaved as what expected for a lot of the evening, and then…suddenly, I wasn’t able to bear it. I found myself unable to submit any longer, and, just as father was completing the final ceremony of securing the betrothal and offering a blessing up to Tash, I couldn’t bear it. I jumped up and I refused to obey. I can’t quite remember, but I think I shouted…and father was so angry…I said that I couldn’t bear to marry Lavarin, I said that I would never marry one so vile, and Master Lavarin lashed out, he said that he had never been so insulted and hit me, hard. He stormed out and Father wouldn’t stop. I’ve never seen him so furious…he slapped me and started hitting and kicking me. At one point he picked up a chair and hit me with it. He shouted about how I had dishonoured him beyond forgiveness, he called me the daughter of a traitor, he spat on me, he tore my clothing, saying that I would never be worthy to be called a woman of Calormen, and he threw me out of the front door. Both our brothers spat and kicked me after father, before storming back into the house, leaving me out there.”

Karna shuddered and cradled her arm all the more, struggling visibly as tears streaked her face. Gently, Karlis took her sister in her arms and hugged her tenderly.

“You must stay here,” she said firmly, “she can, can’t she Ahoz?” Her husband merely nodded and walked over to Karna, placing a gentle hand upon her shoulder.

“Karlis is right, Karna, our home is your own. I will never forget your kindness to my wife on our wedding day, and Karlis has never stopped speaking of your joyful laughter and the tender love that you both share. You must stay here, and I will protect you with all my strength, I promise you, no-one shall know that you are here, least of all Tarneesh.” Karna shuddered at the mention of her stepfather and nodded, helplessly grateful for their kindness and the risk that they both took.

Carefully, Ahoz lifted her from the chair and carried her through to their bedchamber, setting her down upon the spare mattress, Karlis tucked a blanket around her and brought a bowl of hot water, infused with some of the herbs that she had gathered.

“I will stay with her Ahoz, you go to bed, for you have to work in the morning, my husband. She is my sister, and I will gladly nurse her.” Merely nodding, Ahoz kissed his wife good night, before leaving her to care for Karna.

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