As Far As The Heart Can See

Chapter 7
“Halian’s last Wish”

The last rays of late April’s sun kissed the hill farewell. A soft wind ruffled the grass as if caressing it. A peaceful silence lay about what once had been the village by the hill.
All that remained of it was in utter ruin. The wooden cottages had been burned to ashes and even the council house which had been the only one built of stone lay crumbled. Only one wall still half stood. It had broken Ósle’s heart to see her beloved village – her home – like this. But as the other villagers who had returned with her, she wanted to see it rebuild.
One of their first tasks had been to search the ruins for any sign of Halian or one of the other villagers who had remained behind. There were none.

Ósle sat next to one of seven new graves. Halian’s grave which had been placed in the middle of the seven empty graves, right at the foot of the hill. She still felt sad that she would never see him again. As well as Alden. Alden. It still hurt to think about him.
The sound of footsteps on grass alerted her to another’s presence. She looked up to see Ceredig approach her.
“Will you not come and join us for some food? You have been sitting here alone for so long,” he said.
Ósle just shook her head and patted the grass beside her.
“Sit with me, Ceredig.”

With a soft sigh, the young rider complied. For some time neither spoke, both staring at the stones covering and indicating Halian’s grave. The first stars appeared in the sky twinkling slightly in the twilight.
“You still miss him, do you not?” Ceredig asked and took one of her hands in his. She knew he was not speaking of Halian.
“I do, Ceredig. Very much so.”
He gently squeezed her hand and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles.
“I…Ósle, Alden asked you to become his wife, didn’t he? He told me the night before battle.”
“Yes, he did. And I told him yes although…,” she trailed off and found his gaze, tears shining in her eyes and she knew that Ceredig understood.

“Alden loved you, Ósle. – That night he made me promise that if he should not return, I should make sure you were happy.”
“Oh Ceredig, I feel so ashamed for being relieved that I do not have to pretend to love him like that. – I love Alden as a brother. He is…was very dear to me, as are you. – But if it meant to have Alden back, I would marry him. I really would, Ceredig.”
Ósle burst into tears and the young rider pulled her close.
“I know, fea-an. I know,” he said soothingly, rubbing her back and just holding her tight. It took a while for Ósle to calm down. There was still so much on her mind, so much she needed to process. And the loss of Alden had not made it any easier.

It was almost dark when the two siblings eventually got up and returned to the camp the villagers had set up earlier.
A fire was burning in the middle of it and they found Asthryd handing out stew to the others. Ósle joined her to help and once everyone had their share, the two women sat down next to Ceredig to eat as well.
“They are talking about rebuilding the village,” Asthryd filled them in and Ósle smiled; the first real smile in two weeks – since she had heard of Alden’s death.
“I hope they do,” she replied. “That would be Halian’s wish, too I think.”
They fell silent, listening to the soft murmur and talk of the others finishing their meal. The young healer sighed and looked up at the stars after she sat the now empty bowl down next to her.

“I never asked him why he took me in,” she eventually said, very quietly. “And now I can’t.” Asthryd gently rubbed her shoulder, a small smile on her lips.
“No, Halian you cannot ask. But what about me?”
Ósle straightened her posture and her eyes found those of the woman beside her.
“Did he tell you?”
Asthryd shook her head.
“No, Beda did. Right after the council meeting a day after you came to us. – That night he announced that someone would have to take you in. And when no one volunteered which he seemingly suspected, he took you. He really saw you for what you were, Ósle: a mere babe without anyone. Everyone else only saw the difference from the woman who brought you to us and did not trust her.
“And there is more. – Five years ago we came to talk of this again. Since you became friends with my sons, I steadily saw the effort and eagerness with which you learned. And I went and told Halian how right he had been and that he had done good in taking you in.”
The older woman paused and smiled slightly before continuing:
“I still remember the smile on his face when he replied: ‘Ah, Asthryd, long I have asked myself if it was a good and right choice. But every time I look at her I know it was. She is the child I never had.’”
Tears ran down Ósle’s cheeks and she hugged Asthryd tight.

“Thank you for telling me,” she replied when she pulled apart and sheepishly wiped at her eyes.
“You are welcome, child,” the older woman gave back and grasped her hand. The young healer inwardly gasped at the strength she saw in her friend. Had it really been only two weeks since the news of Alden’s death?
Certainly, Asthryd had aged a bit more. The lines on her face had become slightly more prominent and her eyes sometimes glistened with unshed tears. Yet, she seemed even stronger than before. And as much as Ósle wanted to be the strong one, she drew from the older woman’s strength.
She was sure that a part of her had died each with Halian and Alden. But in their stead, two new parts had appeared, giving her hope and a small amount of strength for the future. And she more than ever believed what the late King had told her: that they now were in a better place. A small smile graced her lips as an image came to her. The King laughing with a man she had never seen before standing next to Halian who had his arm around Alden’s shoulders. All of them were laughing, smiling.

“I have been thinking.” Ceredig’s voice interrupted her thoughts and she looked up to her brother’s face.
“Some riders are returning to Minas Tirith for the new gondorian King’s coronation. And I have decided to ride with them. Will you not come, too mother? Ósle?”
Before Ósle could even think about it, Asthryd answered:
“No, Ceredig. It is too long a journey for me. And although I am anxious to see your father again, I will return to the Burg.”
The young rider nodded and turned to Ósle.
“And you sister?”
The healer thought. To see the white city Halian had told her so much about would be wonderful. And to see a coronation with the prospect of some merry-making was very tempting. Then her eyes fell onto Asthryd – the closest thing she had to a mother – and she knew. Smiling at Ceredig, Ósle shook her head.
“No, brother. I will return to the Hornburg with Asthryd.”
The older woman studied her for several moments, a frown evident on her face even in the dim light of the fire.
“Ósle, I can see that you want to go. Please, do not stay only because of me. I will be just fine. And wasn’t Halian’s wish for you to train in the Houses of Healing in Minas Tirith?”

She smiled and grasped the older woman’s hands.
“Yes, it was. And it would be lovely to see Minas Tirith. But there is time for that later when life here has returned to normal – or as normal as it can be after the war. I have promised not to leave you, Asthryd and I intend to keep it until at least you have your family back.”
They shared a smile and Ósle squeezed the other woman’s hands. Ceredig heaved a sigh but a smile was on his lips.
“I cannot find fault with that,” he said.

When Ósle lay in bed that night she knew that she had made the right decision. There was still enough time for her. Minas Tirith and becoming a fully trained healer could wait. Asthryd could not. And Halian, she was certain, would understand.

TBC