Syah's Tears

Legolas and his friends were busy the following week and a half. She mostly stayed with Ariana, who showed her around Rivendell and introduced her some of the elves they had passed. Though they all kept a watchful eye on her, she had managed to explore Rivendell on her own. It was a splendid place, as were the elves there. After the initial shock of feeling her, they became quite welcoming and warm.

She had met others as well. Gandalf had introduced her to people called Hobbits; Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry and Bilbo. She met a dwarf named Gimli. And a man named Boromir, whose jaded and overburdened eyes seemed eerily like her own. He had seen too much himself. Heard too much, felt the burden of being alone for too long. Syah could tell he had been put in a place, maybe by his parents, that he wasn’t sure he wanted be. But she couldn’t seem to think on it too long. And she knew why.

She had chosen to ignore the look that quickly swept through Legolas’ eyes one week ago. She had chose not to think on it, but found she had no choice in the matter. She had to work it out or it wouldn’t go away. For just a moment his jaw had tightened and his expression was set. She wasn’t sure exactly what that look meant at first but once she was alone with Arwen, before supper one evening, she suddenly realized what it meant.

“He loves me.”

Arwen saw the fear spread through Syah so swift at this revelation that she thought the poor girl was going to faint from it. Her breathing began to quicken and she was have trouble controlling it. *Do not fear this, Syah. Just breathe for now. Just breathe.*

As Arwen began to sing to her, Syah felt her breathing go back to normal. She let Arwen hold her for a few minutes until the initial panic left her. Legolas loved her. No, he was in love with her. What was she going to do?

*The look he gave you, I saw it.* Arwen paused to make sure that Syah was understanding her. When Syah nodded, she continued. *Something inside of him stirs for you also. You have let him into your heart, why not your soul?*

Syah shook her head and stood from the bench they were sitting on, out on the balcony. “No. No, Arwen. You don’t understand. I can’t! It is too much for me.”

Arwen gave her a sad smile. She had feared that Syah would discover this too soon for her to handle. The young woman had a wall around her soul so thick it would take...well, something very strong to break it. But Legolas was rubbing this wall, and wearing it down. This brought great fear to Syah. Arwen could see that she had lost far too much, far too soon. She felt things deeper and greater than even most elves. She wondered why that was. But that was not now important. Retrieving Syah’s sense of calmness before supper was.

*You have nothing to fear from him.*

“You don’t understand, Arwen,” Syah said, her calmness coming back as she again sat down. “It is not him I fear.”

Understanding dawned on the Evenstar’s face. She now knew why Syah was so reluctant to let Legolas, or anyone, inside of her soul again. If she didn’t let anyone in, then she wouldn’t feel the pain of loss. But more than that she wouldn’t feel the loss. Feel. Syah felt things like Galadriel saw things. She was partially an empath. Why had no one saw this until now? The answer was clear. No one saw because Syah wouldn’t let them see. Her inner calmness hid her empathic abilities. Syah probably didn’t even know she was an empath. The poor thing!

“Henion, Syah. Henion.”

“I feel things too deep. You know why.”

Arwen nodded. *I will let Gandalf explain this to you, Syah. He can speak to you better than I.*

There was a short silence following their conversation, it was broken by Ariana letting them know it was time for supper. Arwen sat beside her, and Syah was grateful. It kept her calmness in check.

Lord, Syah thought to herself. She needed to get herself together. Her inner calmness was still intact. She would except what life threw at her. But her outer walls were crumbling. She had to put them back in place before she did something stupid and let someone inside her soul again. What was wrong with her!?

**********************

When Syah retired to bed, the rest stayed at the table where they had also eaten lunch. Arwen explained to them why Syah felt too much. This hit Legolas hard. Not because she was an empath but because no one but Arwen had picked up on it. Why had he not seen it? How could he not have known?

“I picked up on this also,” Gandalf said. “When I was talking with her, the first day she was here, I realized just how much she felt things. Though, I did not realize that she was an empath. She does not know this about herself. Only that she feels things too deeply, too hard. That, in part, is why she put up her walls. So she couldn’t feel the pain that hits her so deep. It is why she is so frightened to let someone in.”

Elrond took this in. “But there is something else beside this. That is not what we all are feeling from her. The spirit of the forest is strong within her, this we know. But what is the other thing that is inside of her. You do not just become an empath. It is past down from generation to generation. Mostly from mother to daughter. Males sometimes get this gift but not as often. You all know this. Somewhere in her bloodline there lies the key to the other half of her being. Her bloodline holds the answers.”

To this they all agreed.

“This may be a far stretch to make,” Aragorn started, “but do you think mayhap, somehow, she has some elvish blood in her?”

This made everyone go silent. Normally, most elves would sense their blood in a human. But Syah was not just a human.

“This could be. But she will need to be around someone who can break down those barriers she has in order to tell,” Elrond said. “Someone who can see as she feels.”

“You wish for her to join the Fellowship?” Legolas said, not sure he completely liked the idea.

Elrond nodded. “She needs to go to Lothlorien, to see Galadriel. She is the only one who will be able to see the truth of what Syah is.”

“Is this a wise choice?” Aragorn asked. “I have no doubt she can survive in the wild, that she can bare burden’s that are beyond most. And I have no doubt that she would be an asset. But she has seen and felt so much already. Should we add to that?”

It was Gandalf who spoke. “I have a feeling that this journey will help heal part of herself. That she will grow to understand that feeling things as strong as she does is not always a bad thing. However, I also feel that she will be able to help Frodo bear the burden of the Ring.”

“What do you mean?” Legolas asked.

“I mean that because she feels things so much stronger that she might be able take some of the power of Ring from getting to Frodo.”

Legolas thought on this. “You are saying that she will be able take in some of the Ring’s influence, just enough to sway its affect on Frodo?”

“Yes, that is what I’m saying.”

“I will let the rest of the Fellowship know of our decision on the morrow. Legolas, you tell Syah that she is going with you.”

Legolas nodded. He wasn’t sure he liked this idea of putting Syah in danger, but they were right about everything they had said. She could have an effect on the outcome of this war. Perhaps enough to win it. And she would be with him. Near him, where he could see her with his own two eyes.

As he stood to leave the table he concluded that this was indeed a good idea.

*******************

-Two Months Later-

Syah dressed in the outfit that she had arrived in this land in. Her hiking boots were still in good condition so she decided to just wear those. She packed the pair of pants and undergarments that Marien had given to her, and the two more that Ariana had made for her. She had the pain medicine refilled and got two more bottles to put in the pouch. The pack she had was small but she managed to fit everything inside without a problem. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for this quest, but if this was the turn life wanted her take she would take it. As she always did.

Arwen walked into her room a few minutes after she had packed, to tell her it was time to go. She handed Syah some cloths for her period and Syah thanked her.

“I don’t know why I am taking these. I haven’t had my monthly since I arrived in Rivendell.”

Arwen nodded, understanding her now because Syah had learned to speak Sindarin like she had grown up with it. “I know not why it stopped coming, but you have been assured by Ariana and my father that it is not to worry about. Those are just in case it decides to come back.”

Syah smiled. “Just in case.”

Arwen smiled back at her. “Be safe, Syah. You are precious to me, like a sister, and I wish not to lose you.”

Syah nodded. She had let Arwen into her heart, but she was unsure of letting her into her soul. No, that had not changed. “I will miss you also. And you will see me again. Even if it is just in your dreams.”

“Try to let them inside Syah. Especially Legolas. You know he loves you. And you know you love him, though you stubbornly refuse to admit it.”

“No, I admit to myself that I love him. I refuse to let him in on the knowledge.”

Arwen laughed. “Maybe you should befriend Boromir more. You and he have much in common, as you know.”

“He has the same look in his eyes as I do,” Syah said. “I will try Arwen. I will try.”

This was good enough for Arwen. She hugged Syah before they stepped outside of the house. She had been told of her empathic gifts, and Syah seemed to take it well. She had had a gut feeling that there was a reason for her feeling things so deep and she was grateful she now knew the truth about why. And now they were to leave Rivendell, to unknown fates.

Life had a way of throwing things like this at her. And she, for some unknown reason, felt very up to the challenge of the wild.