[Moralanqua]

Hello all

This is my first post, so i'll begin with that.

Ok. I wrote a fic. I thought (and still do ) that the basis was a nice, original idea.

However - it has now turned into a plot nightmare. There are things in this fic that now make me cringe. Im begging for help to redeem it. I just can't tell if it's so awful because

a) its poorly written
b) the idea sucks
c) its not the sort of fic i like to read.

Can anyone help?


http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1279867&chapter=1

[Roisin]

I'll plan on taking a look at it tonight.

Roisin

[Moralanqua]

Re-reading it, i feel i have to apologise to the general fanfic loving population.

Its so sickly sweet and lacks any romantic tension!

I intended it to be a tragedy - perhaps a prelude to Elronds attitude later on re Arwen and Aragorn.

I'd appreciate any opinions to salvage this piece. It was my first LOTR related fic and im reluctant to just pull it and delete.

Thanks Roisin

[sindohte]

Hmmm, sounds like your Elf has turned into an Orc. I am sure there is some way to rediscover the good idea you originally began with when you started writing the story. I would be happy to take a gander myself and see what I can do to help you out.

[Moralanqua]

You guys are soooo nice here! Thanks !

[Tripsoverhercats]

Two quick things... One - that is a lovely avatar Obsidian, any chance of posting the site where you found those pictures?

Two - boy do I understand that frustration! I've got one plot on hold while I try to salvage my heroine, she's a complete mess and not at all what I wanted. Hopefully working more on another piece will let me come back to her with some better writing. Good luck with your Elrond!

[sindohte]

Just finished reading your story a short while ago and needed some time to reflect. I thought it was a good idea that you came up with and I liked how the story switched from the present day as the tale of the two lovers was being read aloud, to switching to the actual story.

I liked Aerin and enjoyed her interactions with Maethor. Although you mentioned that you thought the story was too sickeningly sweet, I did not think so. However I do agree with you that there really was not any romantic tension to the story.

And that was probably what I felt was lacking in the story overall - tension / conflict. Although Elrond was initially against the Elf/human pairing, he finally gave in with only a minimal amount of fuss. The breaking off of the engagement would have been a perfect opportunity to inject some tension into the story by possibly adding a potential new love interest for either one of the characters or the reappearance of an old love interest.

I think your story can be saved by fleshing out Aerin's and Maethor's relationship. Develop a back story to give the reader more information about Maethor's origins. Let us see the couple deals copes when their love is tested - do they draw closer together or do they grow apart from each other? What will go wrong with their relationship which will later cause Elrond to be dead set against Arwen and Aragorn?

[Moralanqua]

Ohhhh Thank you!

Im going to tinker! Any thoughts on pace?

(re my avvie - The pic of Thranduil is used with permission from the genius of Elisa over at The Laire - i have it also at my Elvenking shrine, Pic of STEVE my sentinel is from my own shrine to him at the Moralanqua website and the others are all my own. That rose is unique to me. Thanks for the compliment! All links can be found via my site)

[Roisin]

Still working on reading it. Have a toddler and a baby.....

Roisin