[artanisoflorien]

I need some serious help on a fic I've already finished and posted here some time ago. It was my first attempt, and I wrote it before I had a full understanding of what writing in canon involved. (For that matter, I'm certainly still learning what that means!) When I wrote it, I had just enough knowledge to be dangerous, and definitely not enough to really know what I was doing. Now, I have just enough knowledge to know how bad it is!

After reading a lot of the recent posts in the General Discussion area about names, Mary Sues, research, etc., I've realized it's lacking in many ways. I'm ok with it being AU…for instance, it's an NC-17 romance between Legolas and an OFC, so it's out of canon from that standpoint all ready…but I'm a little embarrassed by its problems. I'm not happy with the liberties, inadvertant and otherwise, that I've taken with Tolkien's world. I've decided though, that I really want to know if I can do something with it to make it more of a Tolkien fanfic.

What I'm looking for, I guess, is someone who can first of all, tell me whether it's even worth the effort to try to fix it. Some of my basic premises are so off-base it may not be salvageable at all. It could be that I need to chalk it up to a first attempt and just learn from my mistakes. Maybe it will end up being something I can point to someday and say, "See how far I've come since then!" But if I can bring it closer to canon, I'll be a lot happier with it.

Anyway, if one of you much more knowledgeable people out there (one who has a lot of patience for the eager-to-learn, but woefully-ignorant) is willing to wade through fourteen chapters of a Legolas/OFC story and at least give me an opinion and some pointers, I'd be very grateful. It's been betaed already by someone who read it for grammar and basic plot logic, so I think it's in decent shape in that aspect, other than a rather slow beginning. But I'd be happy to entertain concrit in those areas as well.

[Moralanqua]

Mwuahahaha!

I'll give you some in depth feedback. We can do it on a chapter by chapter basis so you can have notes to consider as you rewrite. Just point me at it.

[artanisoflorien]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I feel I should further warn you, there are some basic plot premises that may cause you to rip your hair out. For starters, my OFC will need a new name…it is Rhiannon. (Ducks to avoid flying, rotten produce)

And she is half-elvin …Don't scream! I promise, she doesn't have violet eyes, super sonic hearing, or a pet griffon.

Here's the link…

http://www.openscrolls.net/fanfic/story.php?no=838

I leave myself in your capable hands.

[Moralanqua]

I shall be gentle with you.

I'll email you each chapters notes.

[Thuriniel]

[BittenBuggy]

Mora, you're never gentle.

(#1 reason I have about 20 million people look at something before I send it to her)

[Moralanqua]

And i can still find something to poke you over!

Poor Artanis is in shock. Shes been Mora'd.

Keeks and Squirrel recovered eventually, I wonder if she will to?

[artanisoflorien]

Ah, but it's going to make a better person out of me, no doubt! No pain, no gain!

Actually, you probably deserve sainthood for slogging through the disaster I've made. Thanks for the chapter 1 input. I've responded via email with a question or two.

I think I'll survive.