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SpaceWeavil

Joined: 27 May 2004 Posts: 23 Location: Looking at shiny things
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Posted: Sun Aug 15, 2004 9:19 pm Post subject: Some silliness I thought I would share... |
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These were sent to me from another writing group, and I thought they might appeal…
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents..
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --
Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee Iacocca
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"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football
quarterback &sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill
Clinton, President
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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."--Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
```````````````````````` _________________ Pervy Nazgul Fancier and owner of Fluffy the Fell Beast |
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MaglorRedeemed
Joined: 31 Jul 2004 Posts: 115 Location: The land of Mormons, green Jell-O and Orson Scott Card
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Posted: Sun Aug 15, 2004 10:56 pm Post subject: |
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LOL! I'm not sure if I should be laughing or cursing you for destroying what little faith in politicians/humanitarian institutions/celebrities that I still retained. Thanks for the giggle, though.
By the way, in case you didn't see the review I left yet, I'm just gonna take the time now to say that your "Aliance" story is one of the best E/C stories.... heck, one of the best LoTR fics in general, that I've read, like... ever. Please tell me an update is coming soon. That is all. _________________ Hurin: Aurë entuluva! Aurë entuluva! Aurë entuluva!
Morgoth: Mornië alantië, b*tch. |
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Aerin

Joined: 16 Jun 2004 Posts: 417 Location: ORLI'S LIPS are distracting me
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Posted: Sun Aug 15, 2004 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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[quote]"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark [/quote\]
I could have sworn that was a Yogi Berra statement....funny anyway...
hey Jess! You got Kudos in the forum! _________________ Pervy Elf Fancier. |
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Anna

Joined: 29 Jan 2004 Posts: 548 Location: Sweden
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Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 2:12 am Post subject: |
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Philia

Joined: 15 Aug 2004 Posts: 44 Location: Germany
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Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 4:51 am Post subject: |
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OMG That totally had me krackin' up ... _________________ ~Yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere~ |
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FairlightMuse
Joined: 14 Jul 2004 Posts: 28
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 4:00 am Post subject: Re: Some silliness I thought I would share... |
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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Ouch, that's funny! Now, wouldn't I be worried if they did notify me of a change in their circumstances! |
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figment

Joined: 29 Jul 2004 Posts: 11 Location: Kitchener, ON
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 1:08 pm Post subject: |
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Some people, eh? lol!  _________________ "Hoom, boom, rumboom, boorar, boom boom, dahrar boom boom, dahrar hoom.. Don't be hasty!"
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Ents make sense. |
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