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Moralanqua
Joined: 11 May 2003
Posts: 1051
Location: Scotland
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 Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2003 2:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Thirdly, be flattered that they took the time to help you. From experience, we know that most people don't write more than a sentence. IT'S A COMPLIMENT, that they thought you good enough to review. |
Well, the tone of her overall message to me was not a compliment. She came into contact with me for the sole purpose of putting me down.
Why? Because she mis-read my online handle and thought i was someone else! I use the name Moralanqua and for some reason she hunted me down thinking i was : "Moralquanda".
I ignored the majority of her scathing message because i was interested in what i thought was an in depth analysis of my writing. Well, she took the time to read the fic and dig out every little error! Least i can do is learn from her advice!
The irony is, she boasted about her education and mature age etc... Well, im only a few years younger and im higher educated! I think i have better manners too. She was really an a-hole.
"Study, stay in school, or take writing courses. You
have potential, a great potential, unlike some of your little
"friends". You do have a gift for "showing" the story,
showing the action through the characters, a technique
many never master." - thats as nice as she gets! 
My 'friends' are you, my fellow fanfic writers. I had to laugh.
i only wish you guys could have read her attempt at fanfic before she pulled it. It was a dire mary sue.
"I had decided some time ago, for personal reasons, to
pull my stories, and I finally got around to doing it
before my agent blew a gasket he can't afford to lose!
*smile* "
(She has published historical romance and the British Editor reviewed me as a favour for some work i did for her. She is in charge of publishing romances like Harlequin etc so she knows her stuff!)
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miriel361
Joined: 10 Jun 2003
Posts: 417
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| Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2003 2:41 pm Post subject: |
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Well that reassures me to hear that it is still considered to be incorrect in American English too. The last time I was there, I heard it so often that it began to sound correct.
I don't mean to be picky here, language changes and so it should, but still I would miss adverbs. They add such a lot to the language.
On the other hand I still remember my teachers at school correcting 'My friend and me' to 'My friend and I'. Today the latter would be considered old-fashioned if not incorrect. Even the book with which I teach English (ESL) is called 'You and Me' which technically speaking, according to the grammar I learnt at school, would be wrong. |
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Roisin
Joined: 11 May 2003
Posts: 449
Location: U.S.A.
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| Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2003 2:46 pm Post subject: |
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Well it would be "My friend and I" if you are the subject of the sentence, for example, "My friend and I went to a movie." You wouldn't say "Me went to a movie."
Roisin |
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Moralanqua
Joined: 11 May 2003
Posts: 1051
Location: Scotland
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| Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2003 2:56 pm Post subject: |
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I always thought that if a writer/fanfic writer was decent, they would have the basics down and anything beyond that could be fleshed out at the editing stage.
I do proof read and have nabbed a lovely beta reader but things still slip through on occaison.
I honestly dont know - was the grammer THAT bad?! Do i need to go back to school? Urgh.
Miriel - i think we should preserve the english we were taught. It sounds better and i HATE slang in written form ie fictions/novels/letters from Bill people... 
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Viv
Challenge Admin
Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Posts: 71
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2003 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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| LuckyObsidian wrote: | **He held her hand up to the bay mare’s velvet nose
and watched her stroke the animal in awe.**
Watch your dangling participles...who is in awe
here...the elf or the girl? Certainly not the animal. |
This is not a dangle; it is an unclear pronoun. And it's not wrong, though inserting some names instead of "hers" and "hises" would add clarity. The Brit ed was correct.
| Quote: | **The horse shuffled restlessly on the hay-strewn
ground within the stables while a groom tacked her
with reins and bridle.**
Confusing adverbs and adjectives. Dangling again,
also incorrect use of passive verb...followed right
after the girl touching the mare, who is getting
tacked? The girl or the mare?? |
I think this person just likes the word "dangle." There's no dangle here. There are also no passive verbs in this passage. Again, this sentence has some pronouns that could conceivably be clearer. But I have no idea what this critic is talking about. Seems like she just knows some grammar-related vocabulary and enjoys applying it randomly. 
| Quote: | | I cant tell if she was being unduly harsh or if my ed was being too lenient? Perhaps there is a diff in what grammer is taught in one country? |
Short answer: yes, there are some slightly different spellings and rules. But the differences are so slight that most folks don't even know them ("color" versus "colour"; "toward" versus "towards"; some differences in punctutation).
The most important thing to keep in mind about grammar and writing style is that you aren't writing formal white papers: you're writing fiction. Therefore, all rules can and should be bent.
And frankly, we speak a living language, so just because one uptight person had "thou shalt not split infinitives" imprinted on her brain in 3rd grade does not mean that real people ought to care too much.
In the end, please take all "advice" with a grain of salt. My guess is that neither of these so-called experts know much more than you do about language. I'm a professional editor and published writer, and I certainly don't consider myself qualified to rewrite your narrative. It's your piece of art. |
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NancyBrooke
Challenge Admin
Joined: 11 May 2003
Posts: 160
Location: In a motel 6 by the airport
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| Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2003 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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| miriel361 wrote: | | Well that reassures me to hear that it is still considered to be incorrect in American English too. The last time I was there, I heard it so often that it began to sound correct. |
Not to beat a dead horse (or overuse tired cliches) but, there's also a world of difference between spoken english/american and written english/american. Adverbs on the page are still alive and kicking as they should be.
It is amazing how language evolves, though ('though?), isn't it? My mother LOVES to insist that 'fun' is not an adjective but exclusively a noun and I can't help but cringe if I hear anyone say "funnily enough"! |
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miriel361
Joined: 10 Jun 2003
Posts: 417
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| Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2003 11:48 am Post subject: |
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It is amazing how language evolves, though ('though?), isn't it? My mother LOVES to insist that 'fun' is not an adjective but exclusively a noun and I can't help but cringe if I hear anyone say "funnily enough"![/quote] | Quote: |
Speaking of evolving English. I almost died when I was in London last year and heard the word 'wanky'. Now that is an adjective with a picture attached. Oh and will it develop into an adverb as well. Shall the boy walk wankily? LMAO! |
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miriel361
Joined: 10 Jun 2003
Posts: 417
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| Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2003 11:57 am Post subject: |
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Watch your dangling participles...who is in awe
here...the elf or the girl? Certainly not the animal.[/quote]
This is not a dangle; it is an unclear pronoun. And it's not wrong, though inserting some names instead of "hers" and "hises" would add clarity. The Brit ed was correct.
]
Believe me, Viv knows what she's talking about. I trust her on all important grammatical issues. *says Miriel as she wipes egg from her face and departs the room.*
Seriously though, if someone is intentionally pulling your work apart just to make you bleed, then shoot them (figuratively of course) The quality of some of the works here is just as good as published books. |
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dolarabee
Site Admin
Joined: 21 Apr 2003
Posts: 175
Location: Sydney, Australia
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| Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:52 am Post subject: |
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| miriel361 wrote: | | Speaking of evolving English. I almost died when I was in London last year and heard the word 'wanky'. |
Was it really 'wanky' or 'wonky'? 'Cause the Brits have things that go wonky, you see - not wanky.
do.
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Je sais de la vie qu'elle se termine souvent au lit,
Et que d'autres ont bien plus de chance trépassent de rire ou de jouissance,
Mais pire que la mort qui vient c'est l'amour qui ne vient jamais.
~ Daniel Bélanger |
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miriel361
Joined: 10 Jun 2003
Posts: 417
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| Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2003 10:30 am Post subject: |
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| dolarabee wrote: | | miriel361 wrote: | | Speaking of evolving English. I almost died when I was in London last year and heard the word 'wanky'. |
Was it really 'wanky' or 'wonky'? 'Cause the Brits have things that go wonky, you see - not wanky.
do. |
No, it was definately 'wanky', I've even seen it written in a couple of magazines.  |
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Moralanqua
Joined: 11 May 2003
Posts: 1051
Location: Scotland
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| Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2003 11:54 am Post subject: |
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hehehe - thats a naughty word!
"Wanky" is a slang term.
The corret verb would be "Wank". (To please oneself)
Its most common use is "Wanker" not "Wanky" which is poor english as is "Wanked"...
If my mother could see me! I'd get my bum skelped! STOP influencing me, bad girls!
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I am no longer posting on the Forums. If you need me, I am lurking in the archives, reading and reviewing. You can also catch me at Demented Indigo! |
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Viv
Challenge Admin
Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Posts: 71
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2003 12:18 pm Post subject: |
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| LuckyObsidian wrote: | | The corret verb would be "Wank". (To please oneself) |
These grammar discussions are so culturally enlightening. |
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miriel361
Joined: 10 Jun 2003
Posts: 417
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| Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2003 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="LuckyObsidian"]hehehe - thats a naughty word!
"Wanky" is a slang term.
The corret verb would be "Wank". (To please oneself)
Its most common use is "Wanker" not "Wanky" which is poor english as is "Wanked"...
Yes, I am aware of what it means, which is why I was so surprised to hear it being used as an adjective as in 'Well, it's a wanky world." |
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Moralanqua
Joined: 11 May 2003
Posts: 1051
Location: Scotland
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| Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2003 3:44 pm Post subject: |
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 im still trying to stop manic childish giggles...
This board is fantastic, nowhere else could such discussion occur and grammer be dissected regarding sentances with THAT word!
Brilliant! 
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I am no longer posting on the Forums. If you need me, I am lurking in the archives, reading and reviewing. You can also catch me at Demented Indigo! |
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Haleth
Joined: 27 Sep 2003
Posts: 538
Location: The ruins of Tharbad.
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 10:30 am Post subject: |
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So THAT'S what wank means.
Just one question about the published author's abilities.
If she is so perceptive, why didn't she pay a bit more attention to the spelling of your name?
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Books would not be read, and pipes would not smoke. The day slipped out of his hand, running aimlessly to waste. JRR Tolkien. The Lost Road |
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