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BittenBuggy
Joined: 27 Dec 2003
Posts: 2108
Location: Busy Being the Queen Of Everything.. And Trying to Catch the Yoda-Copter
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 Posted: Sun Jan 18, 2004 9:59 pm Post subject: Go ahead and yell at me.... |
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Sorry, I know I'm terribly annoying, I think this is like my 10th post in here in the past few days...
But, I'm having a huge problem with dialogue. I am anything but a fluff-writer, meaning that I like to lay bare facts down and leave it at that. I see no need for unnecessary information.
That has become a problem when I try to write conversations. They all come out very strained and dreadfully short. I would like to add depth, but every time I go back to rewrite something, I say to myself, "Self, that’s not important, don't type that...no, you don't need to say that." And then I end up taking out even more lines than before.
Any advice for the overly-simplistic? 
_________________
-The Queen of Everything - so dubed by Aerin
-"My ultimate fantasy is to entice a man to my bedroom, put a gun to his head and say, 'Make babies or die'."
-"The Pope! how many divisions has he got?" - Stalin |
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miriel361
Joined: 10 Jun 2003
Posts: 417
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| Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2004 2:18 am Post subject: |
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I personally think that I'm good at writing dialogue. Of course that is my own personal opinion and open to criticism. However in order to help, I'm going to believe this is true and tell you how I write my dialogues.
Mostly I've heard it in my head. A few really good lines. I write them down first so that they aren't cluttering up my head. As I write them, the conversation begins to flow and I write it all down, the good with the bad. Just the actual words said mind you, like a transcription.
Then I go back to the beginning and try to see what the characters were doing while they were talking. How did they react to the words. No-body in the world just talks, we all do something with our hands or feet or whatever. Try watching people to get a good idea.
Then it is important that the reader knows who is speaking. It is not necessary to write the name to every line but there should be no confusion. If it isn't obvious - then write something to it. It needn't be yet another 'Elrohir said', it could also be a statement on what they were doing. 'Elrohir accepted another goblet of wine. "I disagree." '
The other tip (I have it from Viv) is to stick to 'said and asked'. Words like ruminated, contemplated, suggested, whined, whispered should be used sparingly because they sound odd and stilted. Having said that, I use them anyway but only in the direst straits. If you are not sure what I mean by this, take out a novel where there is conversation and underline all the 'said' words. I can guarantee that 80% are plain old 'saids' or 'asked'. I think the point behind this is that although we subconsciously read 'said' and 'asked' and take in the meaning, the reader tends to slip over these words while reading. They don't register at all. But if you insert a 'ruminated', it stops the flow of the conversation because the reader has to interpret it consciously.
Am I rambling? Undoubtedly. I'd better go do something useful then. Hope it helps. |
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Thuriniel
Joined: 29 Jul 2003
Posts: 665
Location: Watching the purple sky fly over me ...
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| Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2004 8:33 am Post subject: |
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I usually write first the "skeleton" of the dialogue and then add to it ... I do like to include reactions and thoughts about what's being said, especially if it's something important ... but then I'm a sucker for detail  .
When it's all done I make sure I read it aloud, sometimes even accompanying it with hand gestures, pacing around .... as if it were theater! Luckily, I do this when no one is home  .
Maria
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~ boe an phân pedi ‘lam dadui ~ 
~ everyone should speak a second language ~ |
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Andreth
Joined: 24 Oct 2003
Posts: 1211
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| Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2004 2:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Thuriniel wrote: | | When it's all done I make sure I read it aloud, sometimes even accompanying it with hand gestures, pacing around .... as if it were theater! Luckily, I do this when no one is home . |
Oh thank goodness. I feel crazy sometimes, acting out the characters movements to get a better idea of how they'd look so I can put it in on paper. It's very reassuring to know someone else does this, too. 
I have to add, all of the above is very sound advice for writing dialogue. |
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Viv
Challenge Admin
Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Posts: 71
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2004 3:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Thuriniel wrote: | When it's all done I make sure I read it aloud, sometimes even accompanying it with hand gestures, pacing around .... as if it were theater! Luckily, I do this when no one is home .
Maria |
Actually, I've gotten that read-it-out-loud advice from several pro writers, and not just for dialogue. Reading stuff out loud helps you see where you're rambling and where your pacing could be improved. It also helps in proofreading, so you can see when you've left out words or used the wrong ones.
I've also heard that carrying around a notepad and jotting down particularly interesting turns of phrases is sometimes helpful. So that goes back to Miriel's suggestion about watching how people in real life have conversations. |
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BittenBuggy
Joined: 27 Dec 2003
Posts: 2108
Location: Busy Being the Queen Of Everything.. And Trying to Catch the Yoda-Copter
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| Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2004 4:59 pm Post subject: |
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Oh, thats all so helpful. Thanks so much! Though Maria, my husband walked in today when I was "acting out my dialogue" and thought I had gone nuts... I was professing love to Legolas at the time, via my character
_________________
-The Queen of Everything - so dubed by Aerin
-"My ultimate fantasy is to entice a man to my bedroom, put a gun to his head and say, 'Make babies or die'."
-"The Pope! how many divisions has he got?" - Stalin |
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Ania
Joined: 08 Sep 2003
Posts: 198
Location: Britain
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| Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2004 6:46 am Post subject: |
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Yaay! I'm not the only one that's happened too! Don't worry Bitten Buggy, you're not alone, I was literally cowering on the floor from an 'orc' backing away into a corner with some lines in my hand in my room at college when my friend walks in and gives me the wierdest look. And another bad thing about college not a personal computer so people are constantly staring over my shoulder and it gets very embarrassing especially when reading smut...  |
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Thuriniel
Joined: 29 Jul 2003
Posts: 665
Location: Watching the purple sky fly over me ...
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| Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2004 10:00 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | my husband walked in today when I was "acting out my dialogue" and thought I had gone nuts... I was professing love to Legolas at the time, via my character |
That's why you gotta make sure you're all alone ! My kids get to see the show, most of the time. They think it's hilarious!
There's something else that I didn't mention when I first replied to your post. At least in my case, I noticed that the dialogue became much easier as I began to develop and get more acquainted with my characters. When I first started to write, I could barely come up with anything for them to say, which worried me a lot, as a matter of fact, I'm not thrilled with the first chappies of my fic mostly because of stiff dialogue. Once I became more familiar with the characters ... let's just say that conversations flourished and now I cannot stop them from talking ... my chapters get longer and longer just because they insist on talking!
So keep on writing, I'm sure you will find your characters' voice as you get to know them!
Maria
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~ boe an phân pedi ‘lam dadui ~
~ everyone should speak a second language ~ |
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dolarabee
Site Admin
Joined: 21 Apr 2003
Posts: 175
Location: Sydney, Australia
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| Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2004 12:44 am Post subject: |
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| Thuriniel wrote: | | I noticed that the dialogue became much easier as I began to develop and get more acquainted with my characters. |
I find that too. Since I don't write a lot of fics, I mostly speak from my RPG experience. I find I need to define my characters at least to a certain minimum to be able to fill in the boots and get them to talk comfortably. Ask Scribe, I spend hours researching and building their background. Most of that info will never be used in the storyline, but it helps me, as the storyteller of those characters, to nail them down when I 'play' them. You get to know them as you create their past, their family, some of their experiences. It helps you define what makes them tick, why they behave a certain way, etc.
do.
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Je sais de la vie qu'elle se termine souvent au lit,
Et que d'autres ont bien plus de chance trépassent de rire ou de jouissance,
Mais pire que la mort qui vient c'est l'amour qui ne vient jamais.
~ Daniel Bélanger |
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Irith
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 13
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| Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 8:39 pm Post subject: |
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| Hah! Try having your dad and mum who are staying over the weekend at your apartment walk in on you while your telling Legolas that you can't let him have your heart because you are afraid, or the time my sister and her boyfriend walked in on me running and cowering behind Snape from Voldermort. Character wise of course. |
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Viv
Challenge Admin
Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Posts: 71
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 9:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Irith wrote: | | Hah! Try having your dad and mum who are staying over the weekend at your apartment walk in on you while your telling Legolas that you can't let him have your heart because you are afraid. |
Eep! I bet that one took some 'splaining. |
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Irith
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 13
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| Posted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 7:50 pm Post subject: Well duh! |
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Ha ha! Poor daddy, *snickers* He hasn't seen or really heard much about LOTR. So he thought I was on about someone REAL and sat me down for a LOOOONNGG talk bout men and their snares. lol. Didn't have the heart to splain.   |
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