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Anna
Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 548
Location: Sweden
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 Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 2:38 pm Post subject: I don´t know how to feel... |
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I feel lost...and empty... I think.
I had a miscarriage two days ago. The child had been dead for seven weeks already, but my body didn´t react until now. I don´t know how to feel... It´s too much. I feel numb. How am I supposed to feel? What am I to do? I´m confused... This wasn´t meant to happen!
One moment I feel fine, or at least somewhat OK. The next moment I feel like I have no skin. Does that make any sense at all?!
Sorry, didn´t mean to be a bother. I just had to...I don´t know...
_________________
'...the vision is always solid and reliable. The vision is always a fact. It is the reality that is often a fraud.' G.K. Chesterton
Reality is for people who can´t handle Middle-earth! |
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Rhapsody
Joined: 11 Apr 2004
Posts: 1153
Location: Maglor's Lap
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 5:44 pm Post subject: |
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Yes it does  I am so sorry Anna, but it's an unfair thing you have to go through now. Hang in there honey.
_________________
I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere...
Maglor's bard & Celegorm's play pal
Nazgul #5 in charge anything liquid or edible things
Icon made by Carnage in c minor. |
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Ottis413
Joined: 01 Oct 2005
Posts: 292
Location: West Virginia, USA
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 9:08 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry to hear about your loss, just hang in there.
_________________
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse, Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
Pink Floyd, Comfortably numb
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OSA Nazgul#8. The little Nagzul wot cud spall (Don't call me the redneck Nazgul, I prefer the term 'Appalachian Nazgul') |
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DreadLadyFreya
Joined: 30 Mar 2004
Posts: 276
Location: A fantasy world, with beach front property
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 2:44 am Post subject: |
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Oh, Anna! I am so sorry! Losing a child at any age is devastating. It doesn't matter that you'd never met this little one, he/she was your baby and you loved him/her. There is no right or wrong way to feel right now. It's okay to grieve. It's okay to feel numb or lost or empty or angry or any other emotion you care to name. It's even okay to feel relieved. And by all means, it's okay to seek out some comfort or a laugh or two. Your body knows what it needs to get through this time, listen to it. If you feel like crying, cry, if you're tired, take a nap. No one else knows exactly what you're going through, not your partner or even other mothers who've lost children. We can commiserate and listen and love on you, but don't let anyone else try and tell you how you should feel or for how long. Your situation is (painfully) unique, take as much time as you need, Sweetie.
You'll be in my prayers.
*hugs*
Freya
P.S. You are NOT a bother!! We're a family -- a slightly dysfunctional family, but family nonetheless -- and family looks out for their own.
_________________
The darkness is strong, and it is patient, and it is everywhere,
and it always wins. But in the heart of its strength lies weakness -
one lone candle is enough to hold is back.
Love is more than a candle.
Love can ignite the stars. |
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dolarabee
Site Admin
Joined: 21 Apr 2003
Posts: 175
Location: Sydney, Australia
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 5:56 am Post subject: |
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So sorry, Anna. Sending you strength from the land of oz.
do.
_________________
Je sais de la vie qu'elle se termine souvent au lit,
Et que d'autres ont bien plus de chance trépassent de rire ou de jouissance,
Mais pire que la mort qui vient c'est l'amour qui ne vient jamais.
~ Daniel Bélanger |
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NancyBrooke
Challenge Admin
Joined: 11 May 2003
Posts: 160
Location: In a motel 6 by the airport
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 3:24 pm Post subject: Re: I don´t know how to feel... |
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| Anna wrote: | | One moment I feel fine, or at least somewhat OK. The next moment I feel like I have no skin. Does that make any sense at all?! |
'Losing love is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody feels the wind blow ...'
Paul Simon
which is to say it makes perfect sense: you feel vulnerable, and transparent; you're not alone and what you feel is unique. There is no proper way to do this, no right way to feel and to grieve. You will do it your own way. You will get through it. I believe you will.
~ NB
_________________
NB Duchess of WHY TF Cant'chu Punctuate, First Duchess of F*&(ing &*ll yur comma placement sux!
Nazgul #3 in charge of ducking & sniggering
Garo golf a conu ned i eneth aran an ir ho delitha ad |
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Viv
Challenge Admin
Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Posts: 71
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 10:44 am Post subject: |
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| There's no right or wrong way to feel. It is perfectly okay to mourn. Natural, even. And it's perfectly okay to have moments when the grief doesn't consume you. This all sounds very healthy emotionally. I figure there's no easy way to deal with this sort of thing. Just take care of yourself, okay? Make sure you're getting good physical and emotional care. Best to you, Anna. |
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cookienut
Joined: 13 Apr 2007
Posts: 31
Location: Milky Way
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| Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 3:48 pm Post subject: |
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You are not a bother. 
I'm very sorry for your personal pain. I hope and pray that you can get through this. |
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Alassante
Virtual Village Mod
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 20
Location: Hitchhiking to Rivendell
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| Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 7:02 pm Post subject: |
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There really are no words to say to express my sincere sympathy and not sound terribly cliche. But you're in my thoughts and I'm very sorry for your loss.
_________________
Nagzul #2 - The Nazgul of Shmoove
Crucio! Because stupidity should be painful!
http://alikat7.livejournal.com/ |
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eiranae
Quiz Admin
Joined: 21 Mar 2006
Posts: 0
Location: Just to the left of barmy.
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 12:35 pm Post subject: |
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Oh Anna, I'm so sorry! The same thing happened to me last year. I had to be induced. I know how you are feeling! *Sends big hug* Do not feel like a bother. If you need to talk about it I'd be glad to listen.
Eiranae |
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Senta
Joined: 09 Mar 2004
Posts: 7
Location: UK
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 10:44 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.It is normal to feel OK one moment and devastated the next |
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inglor
Joined: 26 Apr 2004
Posts: 853
Location: Not here, not there, not anywhere
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 12:15 am Post subject: |
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_________________
Hi, My name is Inglor and I am a Tolkien Geek (sub-species: Silgeek)
Owner of the phrase: "merciless attention" so authorized by Viv |
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SilverMoonLady
Joined: 14 Jul 2003
Posts: 1201
Location: Breaking in a Brandybuck... *wicked grin*
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 9:08 am Post subject: |
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There are no words, but know that you're in our thoughts....
_________________
Suffering an again off again connection with life...
The joy of motherhood: what a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed.
*local PHF union rep* *tart of the week*
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Anna
Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 548
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 2:26 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you everyone! I can´t tell you how much your kind words has helped me this past week.
I feel pretty OK today actually, but some days are just awful. I find myself crying my eyes out at stupid things like when I wasn´t able to dig up one of the shrubs in the garden in one piece the other day. Later that day I started screaming at my brother over the phone after he had the nerve to say he couldn´t hear me properly cause my phone was making a funny noice! 
These moodswings are really quite troublesome!
It doesn´t make things any easier that my brother and his wife is expecting and so is my my brother-in-law and his girlfriend. Also, a cousin of mine has just become a father. I try to be happy for them, I really do! It´s a bit hard at the moment, though... I was happy for them and I still am, but...well...I think I´m entitled to a small break in my happiness!  
We talk about it a lot, my husband and I. It helps, I think. We´ve decided to try again as soon as possible and hope for the best.
I pray a lot (well, if arguing counts as praying...) and I watch Pink Panther-movies to make me feel better. You gotta love Peter Sellers! 
Again, thank you so much everyone! It warms my heart to know you took the time to write something to make me feel better!
_________________
'...the vision is always solid and reliable. The vision is always a fact. It is the reality that is often a fraud.' G.K. Chesterton
Reality is for people who can´t handle Middle-earth! |
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Alassante
Virtual Village Mod
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 20
Location: Hitchhiking to Rivendell
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| Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 2:53 pm Post subject: |
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Anna - I'm not an authority by any means but I think that due to your hormones from your pregnancy, there is a medical reason why your moods might be altered. Add in the depression over what has happened and its quite powerful I'm sure. Maybe a doctor could recommend some herbal relief for the medical part of it so you're able to being to get through your own feelings without your body interferring. Like I said - I'm not an authority but I just thought I'd point that out.
Other than that, I'll keep you in my thoughts and sending you many virtual hugs .
_________________
Nagzul #2 - The Nazgul of Shmoove
Crucio! Because stupidity should be painful!
http://alikat7.livejournal.com/ |
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