Reviews by SpaceWeavil

Into the Shadows · Tue Mar 29, 2005 1:55 pm

Ha, that is so good. What an original idea. I'd love to see this as a full length fic in fact (hint, hint) Very Happy smiley face

A Long Tradition of Ancient Lore · Mon Mar 28, 2005 5:15 pm

Really good work and I like the portrayal of Denethor here. AMazing how much you can get into 100 words.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place · Thu Mar 24, 2005 3:40 pm

Nice interpretation, and a great approach to the challenge. Really enjoyed it. Very Happy smiley face

The Lost Meal · Tue Mar 22, 2005 9:31 pm

Excellent idea, and a very realistic view of battle. Well done.

Rebirth · Tue Mar 22, 2005 8:33 pm

This story has been fabulous. You have such a way of conveying emotion. I am really impressed and touched. The only thing I feel a bit disappointed with is that the story has ended Wink smiley face

although now I am seriously intending (though I'm none too keen on Legolas-romances) to go read The Bond. Although I'm not a Legolas girl, if it's half as good as this fic, I reckon I'm in for a treat.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us all, and please, do give us some more lovely writing very soon.

A Little Fall of Rain · Mon Mar 21, 2005 11:21 am

This is a very interesting idea, and the story itself is very touching and emotional (and I don't normally go in for Frodo / Sam fics either). I do like the idea of Sam editing some of Frodo's story afterwards - does make you wonder what else was 'artistic licence' Laughing smiley face

And 'what if' stories are a particular favourite of mine. I wonder though if it would maybe be better in 'Alternative Universes' rather than the 'LOTR' archive? But the story itself was very enjoyable. Thank you for posting.

Grey Havens · Tue Mar 15, 2005 5:39 pm

Viv said
> In Chapter 2, you say that Elinel is Bellarato's sister. In Chapter 3, you introduce Silanel, Bellarato's wife ... who then turns out to be Elinel's mother. Is *that* how things are done in their family? (I'm guessing it's just a typo, but maybe not.) How clever of you to bring the setting in so strongly, almost as though it is another character. I can almost smell sea air. Is the setting going to be important in later plot points? Or is it metaphorical? And, oh my ... Ereinion is one smooth operator.

To put it in literary terms, crap. That's what happens when you go back to old stories and try to beta them when you're tired, having altered bits of plot. Thanks for pointing that out. It's a typo in the second chapter, which I have fixed. (the 'oops' smiley isn't working for some reason.) Hopefully my stupidity won't put anyone off reading? Confused smiley face

Looking Back · Tue Mar 15, 2005 10:38 am

Lovely. When I saw you'd posted an entry to this challenge I must admit I was expecting Hobbits, but this was a nice surprise. You write Denethor very well, especially since you've had so few words to do it in. Excellent. Very Happy smiley face

When Love Takes You In · Sun Mar 13, 2005 3:29 pm

This is an interesting beginning, and you've set up a lot of potential conflict and questions in this first chapter, which is a good thing. I must say I do like OFCs when they are woven into the pre-established action of the films / books without completely changing the plot, and so far you seem to have that. One thing I would like to see more of is the relationships between Eowyn and Legolas (that you hinted at) and between Faramir and the OFC. You've set up quite a strange relationship with Faramir and Ramo, with her being a 'kept woman', but you didn't go into much detail about it. Same with the Legolas thing. I think a lot of readers might want to know more about what's going on there, so they can try to reconcile that with their views of the canon characters.

Couple of things though - firstly it might be an idea to have a beta reader take a quick look at it, as there are a few spelling errors and places where the narrative seems to change from third to first person suddenly, both small things that a beta can pick up on. There's a forum dedicated to beta reading here on OSA and you usually get loads of responses if you ask there. Certainly I have found some fabulous people to work with that way. One other point, which may be my personal opinion, is that some parts of the description struck me as a bit too modern, things like 'crying their eyes out'. I know some people though who don't like old fashioned prose, so that may just be me.

As I said, an interesting beginning, and I'm interested to see where you go with this. If you want to ask anything about this review, don't hesitate to drop me a PM Very Happy smiley face

The Trees Remember · Sat Mar 12, 2005 8:33 pm

I've just had to catch up on about four chapters as my alert thingies haven't been telling me about this story. Everything's still moving along extremely well. I wish I had your skills in keeping the story well paced and interesting throughout your chapters. One thing that is really striking me as good is that you've kept the elves 'in character' and their reactions to the modern world are very believable. I'm really not keen on modern day fics where the elves are just the same as humans. Also I've no problem with your stretching the boundaries of the Roman Empire - I mean, most of Caledonia wasn't in the Roman Empire, but they still traded and dealt with the peoples there, so it's perfectly feasible that the 'boudaries' wouldn't be as definite as some historical atlases would have us believe.

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Reviews by SpaceWeavil