Reviews by Viv

More Than This · Tue Sep 09, 2003 6:12 pm

This story is remarkable in so many ways. Usually I copy down specific lines or metaphors I like. Often, I make little notes to myself on things that could be improved. But I was so involved in this story, so within it as I was reading it, that it ceased to be a story and became, for a glorious few minutes, reality. Now, that's some right-special writing. Brava.

Captives of Darkness · Tue Sep 09, 2003 5:42 pm

What is Frodo's secret ache?? I'm almost afraid to find out. But the opening here is very intriguing. Please post more!

Taking Leave from Rivendell · Tue Sep 09, 2003 12:12 pm

Okay, between you and Scribe, I am beginning to almost like Arwen. Almost. This line was pure insight into elven perception: "One of the consequences of being immortal was an inability to cope with ugliness." And I really enjoyed Arwen's fit of temper. I've always suspected that just below that that veneer of calm, she was unfathomably pissed that it had to be *her* ranger putting himself into danger. Again. Nice work. More?

The Eight Commandments · Mon Sep 08, 2003 2:23 pm

Also, would you mind designating this as part of the Writing Tips Challenge? (See the Challenges section on the home page... we're trying to get input in essary form, hopefully for future creation of a definitive Guide to Writing LoTRfic.) Thanks!

The Eight Commandments · Mon Sep 08, 2003 2:21 pm

Yes! ... "breath" versus "breathe," "there" versus "their." All horrific. You reminded me exactly why I don't read at ff.net anymore. And thanks for the tip on "blonde"... I know I've done that wrong as least once. Probably many times. I shall go through my stories and do a thorough search-an-destroy tonight. Smile smiley face

Oh, and final quick note: You may want to run this essay through a spell-checker or beta reader, probably both. There were some bits I bet you didn't notice. (Believe me, I read my own stuff so many times, that by the time I'm ready to send it to Beta, I'm convinced that "teh" is really a word.)

Adaron Lorien · Mon Sep 08, 2003 11:05 am

I'm so glad you posted this here. It's lovely, sad, and thoughtful. I know that some folks were distressed by PJ's inclusion of the Haldir Scene in TTT, but it does provide an interesting path of thought... what is it like for an immortal to experience death? Here, you seem to say that the transition for Haldir was not as bad as all that, but that those who were left behind -- Legolas and Aragorn, specifically -- found it heart-wrenching. I think that's a great take on the whole concept of elven death. Very nice vignette. Any hope that you will write others? Smile smiley face

When Shadow Touches Home · Wed Sep 03, 2003 10:45 pm

Holy cow. This is incredible. It's too good for fic. The writing is professional quality. So as much as I love it, you really ought to ditch this ficwriting adventure and write stuff for money. I mean it. The characterizations are spot-on, the original characters slide into Middle-earth as if it were melted ice cream, and language, transitions, dialogue, narrative voice... wow. I mean, golly, you even used "Legolas's"... you must be an editor or a teacher. Only complete wordophiles or folks who get paid to know it have memorized the Elements of Style. Wink smiley face

Ish Chronicles: Sins of a Race · Wed Sep 03, 2003 10:28 pm

You may want to re-categorize this as AU, not Lord of the Rings. There are some fairly large out-of-character issues in this story so far, and folks who are expecting to read Tolkien's Legolas and Aragorn are in for a substantial surprise. You may also consider having someone beta this story. Scene transitions, possessives, and anachronisms could all use a bit of polish. There is a thread on the Forum of this site where you can ask for a beta. And that's not a horrible thing: most of us use betas. It doesn't mean that we're bad writers. Smile smiley face

Probably a Dark and Stormy Night · Tue Aug 26, 2003 4:23 pm

Loved the bit about mithril. Sheer terror [tm, by Vidal Sassoon] made me think of Zoolander. Am off to applaud in snerkeling rapture.

An Elf in Aglarond · Mon Aug 25, 2003 7:06 pm

Perfectly canon, admirably challengic, and well-written to boot! Oh, and featuring the prettiest elf in Mirkood (which is always a plus). Thank you for letting me read it!

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Reviews by Viv