Mercy

Disclaimer: don't own the characters or the song the lyrics were taken from. Peter Gabriel graced us with his song 'Mercy Street' which is where the nursery song Loti remembers came from. The story i made up to go along with the lyrics.


The queen of Rohan looked down on the streets, all she could see were all her dreams smashed and broken. The Golden Hall was her prison but her mind was free to soar to its content. A nursery song came back to her as she looked at the subjects working to make their dreams solid and real.

"Let’s take the boat out
Wait until darkness
Let’s take the boat out
Wait until darkness”

It was a dark song about a girl and her father and their struggle with the raging sea in a small row boat. Praying for mercy they ask their god for safe passage; their prayers went unanswered.

Where were her gods? She had prayed fervently for safe passage in Rohan and when that went unanswered she had prayed for safe passage back to her father’s hall. She hated the endless barrage of mind games he made her play. But more then that she hated what she now saw on the horizon; her husband was returning alive back to his hall.

The riders were coming in from a battle against Easterlings that had managed to infiltrate Rohan’s borders. Once inside they wrecked havoc on the herders and their herds. As the king got closer he saw his wife standing outside as if she was waiting on his safe return. After the past few weeks he knew that was not the reason she was outside. His friends commented on how lucky he was to have such a beautiful wife that loved him. Eomer had managed to keep most of his private life away from his men and just sighed at the compliments. As he rode nearer he wondered what fresh hell awaited him upon arrival to his once happy home?

Lothiriel saw the riders draw nearer and left her post to go back into the hall and find some menial task to make it look as if she was too busy to do more then a quick welcome to her lord. Finding that task was hard, in her angst she had thrown herself into managing the hall perfectly and there was nothing left to do this week. Slowly she made her legs take her into the throne room where she would symbolically sit on the throne awaiting the man that had lied to her and smashed her dreams. Forcing a smile onto her face she rose as he came in.

A dizzy spell caught her off guard and she fell into the floor. Eomer ran to her side quickly and asked her if she was fine. She had been having these spells, along with moodiness and slight sickness to her stomach for the past three weeks. But the king never noticed; she suffered in silence all alone in the dark emptiness of their chambers. Now she was loathed to tell him that she was pregnant with the heir to the throne. Word had reached her ear that the woman her husband bedded nightly was also pregnant with child – his child and from what she could discern the bastard heir was two months ahead of her own.

Refusing his help she told him she was fine and stood up wobbling. He walked her to the throne and sat her down. By now the realization of her situation as the pregnant queen had taken full effect and she could no longer keep him in the dark. She had duties as queen to the people of Rohan, even if they despised her. Lothiriel burst out into tears as she tried to speak.

Eomer bent on his knees and took his wife’s trembling hands into his, gently stroking them hoping to calm her down some. “Loti, what is wrong sweet?” He sounded so sincere her tears intensified.

She had to tell him; perhaps the child would bring him back to her. Ladies of the court had told her tales of that happening but Lothiriel knew that he would not return to her ever again.

“I am with child my lord.” She forced it out between sobs. “In 8 months there will be a legitimate heir to the throne.” Her defenses were down; all she could do was trust her estranged husband to make the right choice. To her surprise he was ecstatic! He held her and spoke words to her that she had not heard uttered from his mouth in weeks.

“Oh Loti! A baby on the way! I am going to be a father!” He kissed her over and over again. “I love you sweet flower of mine. A child on the way! That is news the kingdom will be pleased to hear!”

He hugged and kissed her with such passion that with her defenses down she felt like the young bride on her wedding day when he promised her love and faithfulness. But she had to break that image to protect herself. She was young but not loved and not deemed worthy enough of his faithfulness. All her defenses came back to her.

While Eomer was still in his revelry she said, “What are you going to do now my lord? Your mistress is also carrying your child and is two months ahead of me in pregnancy. What is Rohan’s custom if both the queen and the king’s mistress are pregnant. Will the child born first be the heir or will the child only of the king and queen of Rohan be sole heir to the throne?”

He had had enough of her speaking to him with malice in her voice. He felt like there was no fight left in him to defend against the queen’s accusations. He had always found his voice, except this time. Eomer just stared coldly at his pregnant wife; trying to find his voice.

“I can not take this anymore Loti! You are Rohan’s queen! Our child is the only heir to Rohan’s throne! Our child will start the third line of kings in the Mark!” He knew it would never be easy with her.

Looking equally cold at him she repeated her question. “What are you going to do now? You have two on the way.”

Exasperated he yelled at her, “As far as I am concerned I have only one child awaiting birth and that child is inside you Lothiriel of Rohan. Why are you so intent on ruining everything in my life?”

“Me ruin everything in your life? How is taking me away from my home and my friends, locking me in this dismal hall of your ancestors and seeing another woman ruining your life? To me it seems that you have a wonderful life. A proper queen who can rule in your absence; and a proper Rohirric woman to bear your lusts. You life is not the one ruined!”

He was stunned at his wife’s words. He had taken a mistress; every king of Rohan did it for various reasons. He took another out of guilt, guilt of having to look upon his young wife ripped from the world she had known and thrown into his. Her sadness destroyed him inside. His guilt at ruining her life devastated him. So he had handled the situation wrong, he might be king but he was not infallible. He had not given Lothiriel the time she needed to adjust to her new home; he had to keep Rohan on track. No matter how he tried to rationalize his actions toward her these past few weeks he could not. This was not how he wanted their relationship to be: cold, distant, aloof, and loveless.

“The child she bares is not mine Loti.” He was forceful and now held her tightly in front of him making her look at him. “I found relief from guilt in her arms. She pleasured me and I took what she gave, I never allowed myself to return the pleasure. I paid her for her services but never took her.”

Lothiriel did not want to believe her husband’s words but his eyes were so honest and sincere that she was forced to accept the truth from him. Hating herself for being drawn back into his mind game.

“This,” he put his hand on her stomach, “this is the only child I have sired. And this,” he caressed his wife’s cheek, “this is the only woman that I have desired wholly and honestly and perfectly. But your sadness ripped me into Lothiriel. Knowing that I was partly responsible for it pained me. I could not look upon you and not feel remorse for my actions. I was not willing to see our marriage through. You became a thorn in my side as I conducted affairs of state and that pushed me farther away. I did not realize that my actions was causing you more misery. I was selfish and I admit that to you now. We got on a cycle that has spirled down. Today that cycle must be broken.”

She listened to his words and sorted them out in her head. She was beginning to realize that their marriage was one that would be full of difficulties and that if some arrangement was not reached the child would be born into a loveless environment. Loti did not desire that.

“Did you think that I would adjust instantly to the Mark? Did you not think that I needed some time to gather my thoughts and work out things in my mind? I was in Meduseld less then two weeks before you were in another’s bed. How was I supposed to adjust when my husband, my only friend and ally had abandoned me?”

She pictured the broken glass, dented wood and scattered papers that littered their chamber the night she had hidden herself to see what the king would do. He had been scared, that she saw in his eyes. When he noticed she was standing in the doorway unscathed he rushed to her and swept her up in his arms. Repeating over and over how relieved he was she was safe and that she should not walk late at night alone; even in the hall. She remembered the bitter words she spoke to him and how he had looked once they were spoken.

In tears she hugged him. As he soothed her with his caresses the queen decided that for the sake of the heir she would have to try harder in their marriage. If what Eomer had spoken was the truth then he was going to put forth an effort; but many things needed to be discussed.

They had not had an honest conversation since her arrival at Meduseld. Now both were looking for mercy and hope in each other’s arms.

The End