Never Realizing

Chapter 11 : Balance

Elfaer did not mean to eavesdrop, but eavesdropping it was. Of course he could not help it if Tathen and Alagos decided to have conversations in remote areas that Elfaer just happened to frequent, no matter how recently the habit was acquired.

“Tathen, I want you to know something-” Alagos said with a serious tone. He reached for her hand and entwined their fingers.

“What is it?” Tathen asked.

From where Elfaer was standing – alright, he was crouched hiding in a tree – he silently willed Alagos to end their relationship then and there.

Alagos did not respond to the thoughts that Elfaer was projecting, because he said lovingly, “I wanted to tell you how much I care for you; how much you mean to me…” He paused.

‘Probably to add insult to injury…’ Elfaer thought murderously.

“…I love you.”

Elfaer rolled his eyes and silently stewed in his jealousy and contempt.

“Oh, Alagos,” Tathen sighed. There was a long silence and Elfaer knew that they were kissing. Elfaer checked his emotions and knew that his jealousy was not good for him or anyone around him. Tathen clearly cared for Alagos and would no doubt be more than irritated if one day Alagos were to suffer an inexplicable and sudden injury of unknown origin.

A few more minutes of sweet conversation between the two followed and Elfaer sat silently in his tree and listened, wondering how he could approach Tathen. He did want to win her, but he did not want to upset any balances that existed, and with his father’s advice still floating in his head, he was content to wait. Tathen and Alagos soon went on their way and Elfaer jumped down from the tree. He walked in the opposite direction.

There was a balance to be preserved.

Life was ironic, Elfaer realized as he listened to Tathen talk. Tathen was baking bread in her kitchen and had dragged Elfaer out of his home to keep her company. To his sputtered question of ‘Why?’ she responded, “I need the company of someone other than that elf.”

(Elfaer had grinned rather stupidly at this.)

Tathen was chattering away as she kneaded dough and Elfaer found it amusing to listen to her string of conversation, (one-sided as it was). Even after spending her recent months with another elf, he enjoyed how comfortable things were between them. There was a routine they had created long ago that no amount of time or circumstance could change, and that comforted Elfaer.

He caught onto the string of her words and his interest was perked.

“…but I do not think so. Alagos is a wonderful elf, but within that, I do not think that he is the right one for me. I love him, but the deeper I go the more I realize that it will not work.”

Elfaer tried not to look pleased, he really did, but he failed miserably.

“What will you do?” he asked. Tathen looked up and seemed to realize what she was saying.

“Oh, Elfaer, I do not think there is much I can do. I am happy for now. Things are great between us, I just don’t want to settle down with him. As for having a lover, they do not come any better than him.”

Elfaer knew it was too good a chance. He relaxed back into his chair again.

Balance…

Elfaer was in his grandfather’s library enjoying some of the older works of literature that Thranduil and Oropher had acquired over the last several millennia. Elfaer was absorbed in the writings of an ancient battle when Alagos walked in and leaned against a shelf right next to Elfaer’s chair. Elfaer finished reading an interesting sentence and then looked up silently at Alagos. He was wound tight as a spring, and did not look at all happy.

“Alagos?” Elfaer asked with what he hoped sounded like curiosity. He thought he knew already what was frustrating him.

“It is Tathen,” Alagos gritted, crossing his arms. Elfaer did not like the look of where this was going. Alagos was on the offensive.

“What is wrong?” Elfaer prompted tentatively.

“Tathen has changed recently. The more I try to tell her of my love, the more she pulls away. But you know this already.” Alagos accused. When Elfaer did not deny it – how could he? He did know it – Alagos exploded. “How can you do this to me?”Alagos burst. “I should have known better than to trust you!”

Elfaer was so shocked by Alagos’ accusations that he was momentarily speechless. He stood up and set down the book to calm Alagos down and explain rationally to him, but Alagos did not begin to let him speak. “You have gone behind my back and stolen my love! Are you taking her to the Cliffside like you did with Virana?” Alagos was furious by this time and Elfaer was getting rapidly more offended by the second.

“Alagos-”

“I should have known better than to trust the son of Legolas Greenleaf, the glorified war-hero who slept with nearly every maiden in the Greenwood.” Alagos finished, the lowest blow of all.

Elfaer had had enough. “What?” he exclaimed. “This lauded speech coming from an elf who was at the forest circles every night with a different partner? What hypocrisy is this? Take your words back and leave me in peace. I shall leave you the same,” Elfaer spat.

“I cannot believe you would try and wriggle out like this! Apologize to me!” Alagos demanded.

“I will NOT apologize to you,” Elfaer yelled. By this point both the elves were yelling and Elfaer was finding it oddly satisfying to scream at someone. No wonder Thranduil bellowed so frequently.

“I love her and she is mine!” Alagos roared.

“BUT I LOVE HER TOO!” Elfaer countered.

“AHA! You admit to taking what is mine!” Alagos accused.

“I AM NOT A THING TO BE HAD!” a new voice interjected, interrupting the elves’ fight. Tathen was standing there, tears glistening in her eyes. “I am no mere possession and I will not be fought over and treated like a piece of meat!” She whirled around and ran out of the room. Elfaer and Alagos stood there in shock, unmoving. Neither one of them had noticed Tathen enter and neither one knew how to repair the situation.

The balance was gone. Elfaer wondered if it had ever even existed.