Never Realizing

Chapter 15 : Full Circle

“Why do I have to look after him?!” Elfaer groaned to Ana, who was depositing their toddler brother into his arms.

“Because I have plans this afternoon, Celeblaer is busy with his own impending bundle of joy and mother and father have some kind of business with our Grandfather,” Ana listed.

“Ana, that is hardly fair,” Elfaer protested. As much as he loved his little brother Canthuil, he did not want to be running after the mischievous little tot all afternoon – it was exhausting.

“Have fun, brothers!” Ana said cheerily, bouncing away down the road. Elfaer looked at his brother who looked back with big blue eyes. Canthuil had inherited the beauty of the Greenleaves, like himself and his father, and despite the childlike pudge, he would grow up to be a very fine looking elf.

“What am I going to do with you?” he sighed, placing the child on the floor. He bubbled happily, drooling and sticking his fingers in his mouth. “You’re disgusting,” Elfaer said dryly. Canthuil giggled.

After a short while of trying to find something to do in his house and failing, Elfaer picked his bow and Canthuil up and descended the ladder. Canthuil would not interfere with the routine that Elfaer had created for himself. The child would be perfectly safe while Elfaer went to shoot at the archery range. He stopped at the market and paid for a loaf of bread for them to eat, and gave a piece to Canthuil to munch on while Elfaer set himself up. He had taken the child here often enough. Canthuil was destined to become an expert after all.

Canthuil was only three years old, and to Elfaer those three years had not gone quickly. Since Tathen had left him at Canthuil’s naming ceremony, Elfaer had not spoken with her. He didn’t try and mislead himself and pretend like he was happy about her absence, for he still harbored a tender spot for her in his heart and time did not mend nor rid him of those feelings. They lingered in a pocket of his heart and neither changed nor left him – and he was not sure which way he would prefer having it. He did not know if he wanted to forget Tathen and move on or not, and found himself at an emotional standstill. He wasn’t sure how to move on, and so he didn’t.

While Elfaer hadn’t moved on, he certainly hadn’t spent those years alone. After a time and with much encouragement from Ana, Elfaer had returned to the forest circles. He had enjoyed himself with those elves who he had taken up with, but none of them had meant anything to him.

Since her coming-of-age ceremony, Ana had positively blossomed. She had started attending forest circles with Elfaer and he had seen her leave with many a possible suitor. She was young but she had a good mind, and Elfaer knew that she would be fine.

While Elfaer reflected on the past few years, he thought wistfully of settling down with someone. He was getting to an age where he should be settling down and starting a family. Celeblaer and Eluin were expecting a daughter in a few months and Fanya and Legolas were just beside themselves with grandparent-like glee. Fanya was fussing all over Eluin and Legolas was marching around with a wide (and rather ridiculous) grin reminiscent of the ones that Thranduil wore very frequently around his grandchildren. Elfaer was looking forward to being an uncle and was thoroughly enjoying all the fuss; it made for a much more amusing afternoon on most days.

Most of an hour elapsed before Canthuil decided that bread was not fun, grass was not comfortable, and all other possible distractions were inadequate and dull. He started to wail, knowing already at such a young age that this would grab anybody’s attention. Elfaer cringed and picked up the little fair haired child in an attempt to calm him, but nothing took – the child’s wailing continued.

With a rising impatience for Canthuil’s temper, Elfaer tried to distract him with the bread again. Canthuil took it and threw it away.

“I would have eaten that,” Elfaer said dryly. Canthuil drooled on Elfaer’s shirt and kept crying. Elfaer picked up his bow and, with a sigh, started to walk home.

Canthuil continued to cry in a variety of intensities as Elfaer carried him home. People sent him pitying looks as he passed, and Elfaer felt more visible than he had his entire life...

He had just made it to the main street when he encountered Tathen.

“Hello,” she said with a smile.

“Hello,” Elfaer replied, struggling with Canthuil, who had chosen that moment to decide that being on the ground was paramount. Tathen laughed softly and came to Elfaer’s rescue, plucking the child from his arms and settling him in her own. Canthuil sniffled a bit and then eventually stopped crying.

Elfaer was gobsmacked. “How did you do that?” he asked in awe.

“Just a bit of love and a lot of luck,” Tathen smirked.

“Well, thank you,” Elfaer said. Canthuil burbled and looked between Tathen and Elfaer and smiled in his little semi-toothless smile.

Elfaer and Tathen then seemed to realize how awkward they still felt around the other. Elfaer hesitated, and then spoke.

“I am sorry,” he suddenly said, attempting to keep his voice level.

“For what?” she asked.

“For fighting. I have felt so angry at him. He was not being fair to you and he was rude to me and I couldn’t take it any longer. I just… exploded.”

Tathen said nothing for a good, long time. She opened her mouth to say something several times and then finally said, “I think I was being unfair. I… didn’t know how you felt.” She blushed and looked away. “You are so frustrating sometimes,” Tathen continued after a moment. Elfaer, who had not been expecting this, was shocked and a little offended.

“What?” he demanded, dumbfounded.

“I never know what you are thinking-” she continued. Elfaer felt a very gut-wrenching sense of familiarity, and was suddenly reminded of several years ago when Virana had said the same thing to him. “But… I think I like that. It’s a mystery and I want to solve it.” Elfaer did not know how to take this statement. But Tathen seemed to understand – or guess – how he felt and shifted Canthuil to her other hip. She took his hand in hers.

Elfaer smiled and felt his heart float a little lighter. He leant in and kissed her cheek lightly. Tathen giggled and started walking, dragging Elfaer along.

Canthuil bubbled happily and let out a little squawk of happiness. Elfaer laughed loudly and said, “You’re very right, little brother. I agree.”

The End.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Welcome to the final author’s note of the story! (And the only one, here on OSA) I always enjoy writing these, just because it is a time for me to reflect on the story a bit and share some of my thoughts about the story that I have just guided you through. I am proud to say that this is the third story I’ve been able to write one of these for! As always, you are allowed to skip to the end and just go ahead and review.

This story was honestly not hard to finish – not in the way that Not Knowing or Upon Earth’s Opening were, anyway. Although I do admit – Chapter 2 was quite frankly a bitch to write and ended up being the very last chapter I wrote! As I mentioned before, I went through at least three drafts before I finally settled on one.

This story was very different from all of the others that I have written, in many ways, one of which was the method. For about three months, I toted around a spiral and stole any moment which I could use to write to get the story down. A good deal of the story ended up being written in the campus coffee shop.

A second and very obvious difference is the style in which I decided I would write this story. I wanted to try out a “dip-in-dip-out” style with this story that ended up being the perfect format for what I wanted to achieve. I find that dipping into the story every once and a while, instead of outlining every single event, was the right way to write this story and it made my job as an author a lot more interesting. It was an excellent exercise and I find that the style has become a particular favorite of mine.

The idea for the story came from someone who reviewed Not Knowing a few years ago. They told me that it would be a great idea for me to write a sequel… Well, who am I to refuse a fan? I wrote the prologue and the first chapter and then promptly forgot about it for two years or so. I discovered them at the end of last summer and decided to give it a whirl and found myself sucked into this character I had created. An elf named Elfaer.

I find myself quite fixated on the character of Elfaer. I find it completely fascinating that a character with such opinions and intelligence can exist with such a quiet demeanor. His opposite appears in the form of Tathen. Elfaer’s journey in this story is more than just his falling in love with Tathen – it is about his growing up and growing out of his shell. I think that he’s a good character, and absolutely my favorite that I have ever created.

Fanya and Legolas got the own chapters because I quite simply couldn’t leave them alone. They provided some much-needed comic relief (and – on occasion – parental support) and, quite frankly, I miss writing about the pair. I finished telling their story three years ago and Fanya was the first character I ever created, so I have a special spot for her in my heart

Now that I’ve shared some of my thoughts, I’d like to thank a few people who deserve a mention.

Many thanks go to the people who read and reviewed this story: Middle Earth Muggle, Nieriel Raina, and Macheil.And even if you did not review (I know you are out there – this story has 1,129 hits… That didn’t just happen without readers!) You all brightened my days more than you can imagine. Elfaer-shaped cookies just for you!

Thanks go to my best and only brother, Duncan, who probably has no idea that he was the inspiration for the character of Elfaer. He’s my confidante, my blood and my brother and I hope that he knows his sister thinks of him often while she’s away in college – even if she only ever calls him when she has a problem with her computer. I love you, Brodre.

And, of course, thanks are always due to Shivvers, my ever diligent beta. She’s not only my beta, but one of my best friends and I count myself extremely fortunate to be one of hers. She’s the only one who I would ever trust with a story and she has proved her worth over and over again with all sixteen chapters she edited for this story – not to mention every other story that she’s looked at for me. You will surely hear more about her in the future… she will not be rid of me!

And you, faithful readers, will likely never be rid of me either. I look forward to writing more in the future and sharing it with you all. I wish you all the very best! Until next time!

-Stefanie