Heart of a Warden

Chapter 6
Note: See Disclaimer in One

When Haldir judged they were far enough away he glared at his brother and exclaimed.

“Just what in the name of all that is sacred did you think you were doing out there? You were so busy ogling Dara that you completely forgot that you had several orcs trying to kill you! If it had not been for her I might be burying a brother today!”

“Haldir…. I…I have no excuse for my behavior. I should have paid more attention to the battle. I was just worried about her.”

“I should think you have no excuse. You, a seasoned veteran acting like an elfling with a crush. If you cannot keep your focus than I shall be forced to transfer one of you to another patrol.”

Rumil could not meet the force of his brother’s stare so he focused instead on his boot tips. What he did not see was the fear in Haldir’s eyes at the close call his brother suffered due to his own carelessness.

“I do not think that will be necessary. It will not happen again. You know I only consider Dara as a good friend. I guess I just never realized that she could really take care of herself. I know how good she is when she spars with us but this was different. What if she had panicked? She did not, but that did not keep me from worrying. I was proud of how well she did today and if it had not been for my inattention she would not have gotten hurt. She is my friend and I must remember that she knows the risks, same as we all do. I will not cease to watch her back but I will not allow her to become a distraction again and possibly get us both killed.”

“See that you heed your own advice then. I will be watching. As to her performance in the fight, I am very pleased. It was foolhardy for her to tackle that orc for she lost her sword in the process. But she will learn. I do want you to watch her though. The realities of her first fight have yet to sink in, she still looks a bit too dazed for my liking. A warrior’s first battle can be an upsetting event. I remember your reaction to your first battle.”

“Yes, yes, must you remind me? Afterwards I lost the breakfast I had consumed that morning along with I believe my dinner from the night before. Then shook like a leaf in the wind. At least no one was killed, Orophin lost a good friend in his first skirmish, and it took him years to stop blaming himself.”

“It is what we all must face when we took up the sword to defend our borders. We have all lost friends…loved ones. It is the harsh reality of the oath to protect we all swore. It is a fact that she must become accustomed to if she is going to survive the life she has chosen. Come we must get back to the wood, it is getting late and I must prepare a report for Lord Celeborn about this latest orc uprising. Do not take lightly what I have said; also get her to talk about the fight today. She keeps too much inside and does not speak of her troubles and tends to brood about them.”


“Sounds like someone else I know who is overly fond of brooding. Do you know the elf of whom I speak? He is generally not a bad fellow but he can be most overbearing at times. He is also frightfully cruel to his younger brothers. I do not know how they put up with him. Oh and did I mention that this elf is also….”

“I am sure someone must find your jests amusing Rúmil, I just have not met them yet. Now go on, I’m sure you are quite happy being filthy but I would like to get myself cleaned up.”

“I will keep an eye on her Haldir, she is much tougher than she looks, that was made abundantly clear today. I have learned over the years that while she does brood she does not do so for long. She will talk when she is ready and not before. Contrary to what you might believe, I too would like to get the stench of orc off of me.”

He smiled at his brother and clasped his shoulders. Haldir fondly returned the gesture, briefly allowing himself the comfort of family. As he walked away he turned once more and spoke.

“I have faith in you Rúmil. I will see both of you back at the city when your watch is up. Tell Dara that I am proud of her.”

Haldir joined Orophin and Deleon to speak with them during the walk back to the woods. Rumil found Dara waiting impatiently for them leave. She was absently brushing at her stained clothing. An impressive bruise had bloomed across her face; it was the only evidence of the accelerated healing that had mended her nose. In a few days it too would be gone. He slung a companionable arm across her shoulders and on the walk back to their flet he tried to draw her out of her silence with amusing stories, mostly at Haldir’s expense.

At the border Orophin, Deleon and Haldir left to continue on to their own watch posts as Dara and Rúmil approached theirs. They climbed the ladder and once inside Rumil suggested that Dara get cleaned up first. She looked over at him as she sat on the floor and pulled out her dagger to look at the stained blade.

“No you go ahead, I’d like to get my weapons clean first.”

He hesitated with a worried look on his face and was about to insist.

“Rúmil! I am fine, go get cleaned up. I know you and Haldir are worried about me but there is no need. I do not need a nursemaid. Have no fear I will not sick up all over your boots.”

“Will I never live that down? Ok, I’ll go. I will not be gone long. Then it is your turn. Are you sure you will be alright?”

A glare was his only answer as he gathered up a clean set of clothes, some soap and a scrap of cloth to use as a towel and left the Flet. He went up the trail to where a small stream widened into a shallow pool. He hurriedly bathed, donned fresh clothing and returned to the flet. Dara was sitting cross-legged on the floor cleaning his sword. Hers were lying nearby already cleaned and polished.

“You did not have to care for my weapon as well but it was kind of you to do so. Now go get yourself cleaned up and I will fix us something to eat.”

Dara nodded her head in acknowledgement; gathered the things she needed and climbed down the ladder.
Rumil had laid out a simple meal of cheese, fruit and bread and was rummaging in his pack for a whetstone when Dara returned. She was dressed in fresh clothes and her damp hair hung loose down her back.
He motioned for her to sit then handed her a plate. They sat in silence as he watched her pick at her food. The quiet was driving him to distraction.

“Does your nose still hurt?”

She jumped a bit when his question broke the silence.

“What? Oh, no it does not hurt much at all, just a bit tender. Haldir did a good job healing it.”
She looked back down at her plate.

He continued to watch her as she picked at her food, only nibbling at the cheese and bread. She sighed and then set the plate aside.

“Look I’m not really all that hungry. I am just tired. I think I will turn in for the night.”

She stood up and took her bedroll from where it was stored in the corner and unrolled it on the floor. She removed her boots and sat down on the blankets. She took a wooden comb out of her pack and began to work the snarls out of her long golden blonde hair.

The quiet was beginning to get on his nerves again.

“Look Dara, if you want to talk or anything, I’ll listen. I can tell something is bothering you so if…”

She flung the comb aside and cut off his attempt to talk with a sharp retort.

“I said I am fine! Why does everyone keep expecting me to fall apart? I think I did rather well today. I even managed to save your butt from that orc that was set to skewer you. So do me a favor and leave me be! Ok?”

Then she pointedly turned her back on him and crawled under the covers.

He had given up trying to fathom her mood and put the food away and got out his own bedroll.

“Ok, I’ll leave you alone then, see you in the morning. Goodnight Dara.”

A shrug of her blanket-covered shoulders was her only reply. He sighed in exasperation and lay down in his own bed and watched the flet darken as the sun set.
He must have drifted off to sleep for the next thing he knew a slight noise from above pulled him out of his reverie. He looked around to find the source of the noise. Dara’s bed was a rumpled mess and the flet was empty. Another muffled noise came from above. She must have gotten up and climbed higher in the tree, Rúmil knew from experience that when his friend was troubled she often sought solace in the treetops.

Rúmil got up and pulled himself onto the roof of the flet, he let his eyes adjust to the darkness and picked out a huddled shape on a large branch a short distance above him. With little effort he climbed up to Dara’s perch and sat down beside her. She was sitting hugging her knees, which were drawn up under her chin. Seeing her in this pose reminded him of their first meeting over a century ago. He just sat close to her waiting for her to speak. He waited for quite a while till his patience deserted him. He was tired and this branch was not exactly the most comfortable of perches.

“Dara? Won’t you please talk to me?”

She sighed and for the first time since he sat down she looked over at him.

“I…I know Orcs are evil and an abomination but I have never killed that close up before. It was different when I was shooting them from a distance. They were just targets, I could not see their eyes. The orc that hit me, I could feel its warm blood on my skin when I slit its throat, I could see the light of life leave its eyes. But what else could I do? I was stunned by how much they hated us, by how much they wanted to kill us. I cannot seem to lose that feeling of hatred. One orc I was fighting looked at me with such hunger I shudder to think what it would have done had it gotten a hold of me. I was glad to kill it just to keep it away. How do you cope with battle after battle? Do you get used to the blood? The killing?”

She rested her head upon her knees and her hair fell forward to curtain her face, hiding it from his view. He studied her for a moment before replying.

“How do you cope? I think about who and what I am protecting. My friends and my family and my home, they are what I fight for. You probably do not want to hear this but no, you never get used to the killing. It does get easier, but to get used to it, to even enjoy it, is to become too much like them. I have seen warriors driven mad by their thirst for revenge. After the battle I do whatever I can to forget, at least for a little while. I spend time with friends, and my family. I might even get drunk or do something ridiculous, such as one of my infamous pranks. It is important that fighting does not consume your life. That is why I worry for Haldir; he is consumed by his job of protecting not only the Wood but all of us as well. He feels personally responsible for every injury, for every death. It weighs heavily upon him, his responsibilities. That is why Orophin and I make sure he indulges in other pursuits, and why we tease him mercilessly.”

Dara pushed the hair back away from her face and looked up again.

“I tried to sleep but the images would not leave me in peace. I suppose we should go back inside it looks like it will rain soon.”

She stood and gracefully descended to the flet and went inside, Rúmil followed not sure if his talk had helped much at all.

She had gone back over to her bedroll and had sat down upon it. Her back stiff and her eyes haunted. He lay back down in his own bed and tried to get some rest. He could hear a gentle rain begin to fall on the roof of the flet. He watched Dara as she just sat, after a while he threw back his blanket and gave up all pretenses to sleep.
He got up and sat down behind her, she tensed when he put his hands on her shoulders and moved her hair aside.

“Calm yourself, I could feel your tension from across the room. If I am to get any sleep at all you are going to have to relax.”

With his thumbs he found the knots of tension in her neck and began to knead them away. His hands roamed over her shoulders finding all the cramped muscles. After a while he noticed her posture sagging more and more with the loosening of each sore spot. He smiled when she all but went limp under his ministrations and with a final pat on the back he got up and returned to his own bed.

“Thank you, that really helped. I also want to apologize for snapping at you earlier, you did not deserve that. I took my foul mood out on you.”

She finally lay down and seemed relaxed enough to actually get some rest.

“Think nothing of it, you can return the favor sometime. Now get some sleep you have first watch at dawn.”

He drifted off remembering the pleasant feel of her warm skin under his hands.
That last thought startled him out of his reminiscing….