Sacrifices

(December 16 by our reckoning)
It was now one week till Mettare and according to the news that traveled from Minas Tirith to Belfalas the King of Gondor and the King of Rohan had set out with 50 men toward Dol Amroth. The King of the Mark was on time and Lothiriel’s stay in Dol Amroth grew shorter; but she did not have too much time to dwell on that fact; there was much to be done.

The gentry from the surrounding fiefdoms were arriving in the city and soon there was no more room to be afforded to them at the castle. Those that wondered into the city past midweek had to seek hospitality elsewhere. Now, a few days before the princess’ wedding the city was filling up quicker. Extra guards were added to the patrols to watch for any trouble that might surface. To the prince’s relief all was quiet in the city, however the castle was another story.

(December 19 by our reckoning)
“Look at this ceremony Finduilas! It is a tome in itself! There is a special ceremony for ceremonies even!” Lothiriel tossed the book down as her father came in. He could not help but be amused at his only daughter, and proud of her too.

“Understand that this is the first ceremony Belfalas has participated in since the war ended Loti. Everyone is excited by the renewing of the year, their princess’ upcoming marriage to a king, and hope. They are very excited that hope has now returned.” Imrahil walked to his daughter and took her hands.

Breathing out a long sigh she said, “You are right father; the people have hope. A celebration is a much needed respite. I just wish this celebration did not drain so many resources. How can I be a queen of a war torn land if I have elaborate celebrations held in my name?"

“Loti, the kingdom does everything for you freely. They cherish you and want to be apart of your day. It is no burden on us to supply our princess with fineries and parties. The whole kingdom has come together over your marriage; it is a beautiful thing to see.” He was trying to sooth her worries away.

“I marry in two days and I have no idea what I am doing! I know you and mother were an arranged couple and had not even been given a chance to look upon each other before your wedding day and it turned out wonderful, did it not?”

“Very wonderful Loti. We struggled at first, but all marriages have hard times during the first few years. Once you get adjusted to having someone around constantly it becomes easier. You learn to overlook and manage those things that use to drive you crazy in your partner. Love grows and each day you will find your husband more and more perfect; just as he will you. But do not expect things to be perfect, even after years of marriage. Marriage takes a lot of work.” He rose up to walk his daughter down to breakfast.

“Your nerves are being stretched, just try to relax. Things will get done.” He kissed her hand as they left Finduilas to tend to some of Loti’s belongings that would be traveling to Rohan.

The walk to breakfast and the meal itself she ate in silence. Her father had been called away and she did not feel like eating with the guests so she took her food out into the garden.

Her father had given her advice on marriage after the fact. She knew all the things that it required; what she did not know was how things would work with the king. That was what she wanted sound advice on. How to make marriage work with a king when you do not know their customs, language, or the man himself? “Of course it takes work. Everyone knows that.” She said out loud as she ate a banana.

“I am going to miss you,” she said to the banana as she threw the peel away. Rohan was far from trade routes and far from the climate that bananas grew in. She was going to be giving up her beautiful city, her country and the foods she dearly loved. “What am I doing?” She laid her head back against the tree she had eaten under.

Evening came and Lothiriel returned to her chambers. It had been a very bad day after breakfast. Her first engagement was with a party from Linhir for early teas. That had been the most mind-numbing gathering she had ever had to sit through! Then she had to attend some court cases in which widows were involved. Next she was the honoree at a party given by the ladies from Anfalas. Although a good party the gossip they spread and the endless advice they gave the princess annoyed her. If she was still a virgin the advice they felt so inclined to give would make her not want to bed her husband, ever! To top the day off she had an encounter with Bregon and Bealin. The twin sons of her father’s second in command. Bealin had asked for her hand in marriage not long ago and she had refused. They had been at the castle for three days and Loti felt lucky not to have to speak to them. However it seemed luck had run out.

“Your majesty may we have a word?” Bregon was being very civil. He was always sweet and civil and if it had just been him Loti probably would have stopped to listen; but his brother was with him and that fact ruined Bregon's chance to have the princess' ear.

“My ears are listening to others right now; perhaps you will find Elphir or one of my other brothers able to listen to your words. I can not do anything right now except prepare for my wedding.”

“That is what we wish to discuss.” Bealin was forward. The princess remembered now that that was one of the reasons she did not like him. He had an ego and thought that he was the best thing to come out of Anfalas and that all women admired and wanted him.

“I am sorry, but I will not discuss my wedding with you. Goodbye.” She went to leave but Bealin blocked her. In an instant her guards were on both young men.

“My Bealin, you are not so cocky now are you?” She mused as she left them to the guards. “Take them before my father, tell them what you witnessed and let him decide what to do with them. Tell him to go easy on Bregon though, he is not like his brother."

Finally back in her chamber she let her frustrations out to Finduilas.

“I would rather the king and I go off and consummate the marriage in some field or on some beach then put up with this! That is what it comes down to anyway right? The marriage is not official until the man claims his wife according to law; so all this ceremony is a waste of time. And the guests! Oh do not get me going down that path!”

“It is an archaic tradition dating back to when women were considered nothing more then servants to their husbands and fathers. Imagine a man or woman being a virgin on their wedding night in this age.” Finduilas was joking with Loti.

“But was it not something special with Rufio?” Finduilas was trying to get her friend to think upon positive memories, happy ones. No one in the castle was going to be able to take much more of the princess if she did not calm down.

A fond look of remembrance came to her face. “Yes, our first time was painful and I was not sure I would ever let him touch me again. But after that it was special and wonderful each time. I really liked it when he was still sweaty and dirty from training or after he had come in from watch. He was something.” Lothiriel was still in her daydream but was slowly coming back to reality.

“So I will be expected to perform for the King of Rohan on our wedding night. If I am this tired he will get nothing. Perhaps I should make him do all the work.”

“Lothiriel!” Finduilas was laughing with her. For a moment Finduilas saw her smile with her; but it did not last.

The princess’ mood became somber. “Finduilas, in all seriousness I do fear that I will not be able to allow the king to touch me. I do not know him, and I am no brothel wench that screws anyone with something between his legs. How am I suppose to let Eomer make love to me and have it mean anything? Does not having sex on your wedding night because it is expected cheapen the whole experience? Should you not first be willing and in love with you husband?”

“You are no inexperienced young woman princess and when the time comes you will know what to do. Do not worry about your wedding night right now. You have to actually get through the wedding for that to happen and we are wasting time.”

Finduilas looked out the window onto the city and groaned. “And you have to survive the guests.” Lothiriel stood beside her friend and looked out the window. Some of the men were assembled outside smoking and drinking.

“Half of those assembled on the courtyard I have refused to marry. A few more then once.” She was smiling again.

“You refused a lot from what I have been told. Now you can not refuse the king’s proposal. They are going to be a lot of snakes in the castle tonight. But I do not think anyone will pose much of a threat to Eomer in his endeavors. A horselord would be a dreadful sight for their eyes to see; being so different from your father’s armies. Yet the king I would imagine would be more dreadful to look upon if someone had mischief on his mind toward his lady.”

“Let us hope that there is no mischief tonight or when the king arrives. Even though I would not mind seeing some of the lords down there get their egos handed to them by the king.”

(December 20)
For the most part the gentry were agreeable and not overly greedy to take the hospitality that Imrahil and his family offered. In the morning there would be simple foods set for the guests to eat at their leisure; anything else they desired they had to buy at the market. The city was prospering from the influx of people, and that set Imrahil’s mind at some ease.

Dinners and evening parties were attended by everyone, with the guest of honor always being Princess Lothiriel. It was these affairs that she grew tired of and came to despise by the week's end. It seemed that every lord’s family wished to throw their princess a party and each party grew in size and pomp in order to out do the previous one. It was all done to seek favor from her father; but it was so wasteful she thought.

The prince watched his daughter from his throne. No matter how annoyed Loti became at the guests she was always the epitome of grace. The prince admired his daughter’s reserve and patients. She had to listen to a lot of voices this week; voices giving her advice on how to conduct her wedding ceremony, how to behave in front of her husband, what to expect on her wedding night, and many rumors concerning the King of Rohan.

She also had to prepare for her wedding with only the help of Finduilas and a few other maids, greet and help with the guests, and arrange for a few of her belongings to be packed so she could leave her home behind to go with a stranger to a strange land. Imrahil wondered how she managed it. He guessed that it was only a façade, that inside she was an emotional shipwreck waiting to happen. Today was the final fitting of her wedding dress; he hoped he would get a chance to speak with her.

The prince walked up to Lothiriel’s chamber door and saw that it was cracked. He thought about leaving because he could see the dress fitting was going on but he heard his daughter’s voice say.

“Finduilas, I grow tired with this pomp! If I had known how much trouble this would be I would have sooner gone off with the King of Rohan and just consummate the marriage in some field or on some beach. This is getting ridiculous!” She was not standing still for Finduilas as the lady attempted to alter the princess’ wedding gown.

“Stand still Lothiriel! You are going to cause me to jab a needle in your hide if you do not stand still! And stop with the running off and consummating your marriage in a field or the beach; I have heard that enough.”

“I have not had a full nights sleep in a week and it is eating at my nerves Finduilas.” Looking in the mirror she saw that she had dark circles under her eyes. “I hope the King of the Mark likes his woman with dark circles under their eyes and stressed skin. To be a woman!”

“Stand STILL! How many times do I have to tell you to stand still?”

Quieting herself down the best she could she stood motionless for her friend. She had heard her maid’s comment about stopping with the consummating in the field but had ignored it. That was honestly what she felt like at this time.

“Finduilas, we have both been married before. Did you love your husband at first or did it take time?”

At hearing what the princess spoke the prince grew white and thought that he would lose his ability to breath. He was not aware of this! Not that he could do anything now with the king coming tomorrow; but he desperately wanted to know! She had not trusted him in the matter, he had never given her a reason not to come to him. Had he? Then he thought about how his daughter had acted about Rufio and knew then that he was the man in question.

He had given Loti a reason not to trust him; he had been against her request to marry the captain and his unwillingess to see how much she loved him had led to this situation. Imrahil loved his daughter and wanted her happy, if he had just not been so stubborn. He would ask, no interrogate Elphir until he gave him the answers he needed to hear. If anyone knew about the princess’ first marriage it would be her brother. Imrahil quietly left to seek Elphir out. The conversation continued in the chamber.

“He courted me properly for a few months before he asked for my hand. I had time to get to know him before our wedding day. Our wedding came and went and our years were happy at first. Then the shadow of war began to loom and with it my husband’s mood. By the time the last child was born he no longer was the man I had married.”

“I asked for reassurance, not for that gloomy story. What am I doing?” Loti was visibly shaking now from her nerves.

“You are helping your country Lothiriel. That is what you are doing.” She put the last touches on the dress, “All finished!”

The two women looked at the dress in the mirror. “It is lovely Finduilas, you have out done yourself!” The princess was thrilled with the outcome of the dress. It had been her mother’s evening gown and now thanks to Finduilas’ able hands it was her wedding gown.

“You look beautiful my lady,” Finduilas remarked as she stepped out of the mirror’s view so Loti could have it to herself. The gown was dark blue with a V neckline, Finduilas had added silver embellishments along the neckline, sleeve hems and the bottom of the skirt. To finish it the princess had asked that her grandmother’s sapphire be set in it where the V ended and the dress began. Finduilas had done a remarkable job!

“I feel, like a princess.” Loti laughed at herself. “Now the prince will come on his magnificent white stallion to carry me away. We will be in love at first sight and shall live happily ever after with many, many children at our feet.” She let out a big sigh.

“Why do they tell us those tales? Everyone knows that they are not true. There is no such thing as love at first sight. The prince carries the princess off to a strange land, and then they expect them to live happily ever after? Men must have first written and told those tales.”

Turning to Finduilas, “Do you think I will have a happy ending?”

“That is up to you child.”

“I am scared, so very afraid of what is happening. I am already married and widowed and now to be married again. I knew Rufio for a very long time and we were meant for each other. This arrangement just seems. I do not know what it seems!” She was removing the dress and changing into daily clothes.

“Am I a horrible person?”

“No Lothiriel love, you are not a horrible person. You have loved, you have lost. Now is the time to move on.” Finduilas hugged her friend tightly. Loti was now crying.

“Just let it all out love,” Finduilas began rocking her as they stood and started singing softly in elvish.

Elphir came into the room frantic! “Loti father knows about Rufio! He knows everything! He overheard you talking earlier this morning!”

Lothiriel cried harder into Finduilas’ shoulder.