Never Realizing

Chapter 7 : Invisibility

Words are not supposed to annoy you. Words are not supposed to dog your every thought in the day and every dream through the night. Words are not supposed to do those things to you that a person could.

And yet…

‘Zing!’

Elfaer muttered a foul word under his breath and sat under a tree behind his Grandfather’s houses. Thranduil owned several large buildings that were the center of business in their part of the island. The halls were public and the gardens, too, though Thranduil owned his own private quarters.

It was in the gardens that Elfaer sat that day. He went there often enough, whether to use his grandfather’s library or to spend time with the Elvenking, he often thought he spent more time around Thranduil than he did his own father.

There was a pond in the back, and Elfaer saw his friend Alagos. He had known Alagos on the other shore, had grown up with the elf. They were friends, though since their coming-of-age ceremonies, they had lost touch and drifted into separate social circles.

Alagos lingered by the pond looking impatient. Elfaer stood to go speak to him, but as he stood, Tathen came strolling by, (Elfaer firmly ignored the Zing,) and smiled and greeted Alagos.

Alagos smiled, but in the way that a male would to a female. Even from this distance, Elfaer could see the evidence that Alagos was affected by Tathen. It wasn’t anything obvious, but in the subtle way that he leaned toward her while she spoke, and the way that he stood slightly taller. Elfaer still knew him well enough to notice those changes. He had seen him use them enough when they were younger – Alagos was quite the charmer.

Tathen, Elfaer noticed with a bit of a shock, was also acting differently. She played with the ends of her hair and with her hands. She slid a ring off her finger and then back onto it again. It was as if she had suddenly gained a nervous habit. It was the typical body language that is so easy to notice between two prospective courters, Elfaer realized.

Elfaer observed and started to simmer in his suddenly negative thoughts. He did not like Tathen in that way… yet, he did not like her speaking and behaving like that towards Alagos, his friend. But if it were a stranger, would it irk him less?

The answer, he realized, was no. It would irk him just as much.

That fact irritated him even more.

Alagos and Tathen spoke for a while longer before Alagos kissed her cheek, lingering there a little longer than would be proper between friends. He nodded his head and left. Tathen stood alone for a moment after Alagos left, in thought. She smiled to herself and then headed toward Elfaer, who sank back to the ground beneath the tree. He wanted to be invisible, and to simmer in his irritated mood invisibly. Most elves did not see him, he knew this. Next to the powerful Celeblaer and the willful Ana, he was the Quiet One. But Tathen always saw him.

She sat next to him and leaned against the tree trunk. “Isn’t it a glorious day?” she practically sang. “The sun is bright and he breeze is pleasant and the flowers are in bloom…”

Elfaer remained silent. She continued her description of exactly how wonderful the day was until Elfaer was almost convinced that she had both forgotten where she was and that she was talking to someone else, until,

“Elfaer, is something the matter?”

Elfaer shook his head. Then shrugged.

“You look like you are at a breaking point. What is wrong?” Tathen asked, not being fooled, yet still being completely oblivious to Elfaer’s ailment.

Elfaer hesitated for a moment, then shrugged again. “I feel visible. Suddenly noticed. It is unnerving.”

Tathen nodded in understanding, though he was sure that she had never felt invisible a day in her life.

“You spoke with Alagos,” Elfaer said shortly. He tried not to betray his negativity.

“Yes. He is quite charming,” Tathen smiled widely again, returning to her dream world that she had been describing vividly, previously. “He says he would like to meet with me again, soon.” She appeared to be wholly thrilled at the thought. Elfaer thought that Alagos wasn’t her type of elf. He shoved the thought into the depths of his mind. He should not care who Tathen took an interest in. After all, it was none of his business.

Elfaer raised his eyebrows at Tathen. “How do you know him?” To his knowledge, the three of them operated in very different circles, which rarely overlapped.

“He buys fish from my father,” Tathen explained.

“Who doesn’t?” Elfaer muttered darkly, wondering how he had not thought of this before. Tathen laughed.

“Yes, who doesn’t?” she settled back into the tree roots and was silent for a while, and Elfaer too his opportunity as he always did to silently study Tathen. She looked truly happy, and full of a different kind of energy. It was if today she glowed from the heart instead of from the soul.

Tathen caught his eye and reached out her hand to grasp his. She said nothing, just squeezed his hand once and stood. It felt like a look of final recognition.

Elfaer watched her leave and felt as if he were suddenly not whole.